Showing posts with label Birds Of Prey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birds Of Prey. Show all posts

Monday, December 21, 2020

Top 10 The Last Of The Americans moments in 2020

    (0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Fade cut to James in his room at his house)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans 2020, how do I despise thee, LET ME COUNT EVERY SINGLE WAY! (Cut to clips of everything that happened in 2020 as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Between Manic Expression being forced to close down though it was temporary, My father passing away when I posted my "Different Cuts Of Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings Trilogy" and that was on the same fricking day, Me losing the woman I love and forcing my friends to return home, shutting down my studio, having to go bare-bones with my reviews and Oh, before I forget a project I had planned for this year, I may get done next year but that's gonna happen because things WILL work out for me next year one way or another, even if I make more enemies than friends and speaking of enemies, I haven't forgotten the vitriolic disdain you hit me with, now it will be used to fuel me towards success in the next year which I will get to later on. But for now, let's send this year off with the Molotov Cocktail we need to burn it to cinders, piss and crap on it after it has burned to said cinders! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So much so, that I figured this would be how we should all end this year! (Cut to the clip of Al Bundy laughing as he jumps out of a plane. Cut to James physically.) However by the grace of God we survived and with five moments that you liked and five I liked... (James pulls out his RoboKnight Morpher and De-Morphs)

James Faraci:
Let's countdown the Top 10 moments of The Last Of The Americans in 2020! 

(Scene begins with a laser hitting a slab of Titanium as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as three shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As the three-run out of frame moving forward, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left and Olivia Horvath appear in the center as their names appears above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written and directed by James Faraci, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appears. At the 0:32-0:36 mark the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down and  James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number 10

(Cut to clips from "A Zombie Halloween Jubilee" as James does a voiceover)


James Faraci (Voiceover):
I made many a promise to my oldest brother Rob before he passed away last year. Some more personal than others. One being later on this list and of course, doing a review of the Rob Zombie duology of his attempt to breathe new life into the "Halloween" series and I hope that I did well by my late older brother Rob. But for me, the best part was being able to physically work off someone else was fun! Especially since I used it for a catharsis for all the pain I felt after most of this year being a complete Yakov Smirnoff opening for the Spin Doctors of a Shitstorm of a year. Especially since the person who played Michael Myers and the truck that I helped us to beat the hell out of him was gone and for the record, the man in the suit of "The Shape" was played by a mutual friend who is not a member of Team TLOTA. However, the original idea was to have it be a date gone wrong between myself and Alex because of a Kayfabe promises to my deceased Oldest Brother to watch the non-existent Rob Zombie remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and me dealing with a sociopathic Rob Zombie Fan who feels it best to drive me nuts while I dealt with Rob Zombie's Halloween Duology. But this may be one of those Thanking My Lucky Stars that this actually was better than I thought it would've been. (Fade to black)

(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number nine

(Cut to clips of "Quarantined With the "Aquamarine" Blues"


James Faraci (Voiceover):
This is where everything started to go downhill for "The Last Of The Americans". Originally, I had planned for Arielle Kebbel to be in the review at the studio, but thankfully Arielle was more than willing to do a video cameo for the review and I let her know about certain things, like comparing Cecilia to Lisa from "The Room" and of course this little bit. (Show the old footage of James and James reacting differently than a Fegulah Meshuginah Schmuck from Chicago and Arielle getting more and more upset that she's not getting the reaction that she wanted, James fighting back and revealing the High face of Kayla doing the "Remember Me, Eddie" Judge Doom moment from "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" and Arielle screaming in fear and the ending of the review. Cut back to clips of the review as James continues his voiceover) That's right, I took something a certain Fegulah Meshuginah Schmuck and inverted it to make Hollywood know that We're not scared to fight back if you attack us. But the fact I had to go to my last options as to how I wanted to get it done makes me feel sad that this wasn't one of my better ones overall but it was one of the better ones I did this year! (Cut to the ending as Arielle screams in fear and it cuts to the blood-soaked message which is a moot point at this point)

(Cut to 0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number Eight

(Cut to clips of "A "Possible" Crossover Co-Written by Charles "DukeCT" Thomas" as James does a voiceover)


James Faraci (Voiceover):
I wanted to do a review of the 2019 DCOM "Kim Possible", However, I had to deal with the pesky truce that I had set up to keep me directly out of the line of fire. Thankfully Charles "DukeCT" Thomas was willing to put up with my ideas and as some of the last of the stragglers before I everything down due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. Thankfully Christy and Brendan were real good sports and were willing to be a part of this before the forced shutdown and liked the idea. The moment I loved was when I had Alex fight off Shego, The first idea I had which I didn't tell anyone about was to have Alex drag me and DukeCT out by our petards and it would end with Alex finishing them off in the usual way. However, after some second thoughts, I wanted in on the action. So after some discussions, we went through a lot to get to where the review you got!

(Jump cut to 0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number Seven


7) "Superman & The Seven "Returns", "Connect The Plots: How DC had a shared universe and didn't capitalize on it" and "Birds" attacking me! "Prey" for me!

James Faraci (Voiceover):
These three tied because they showed How Warner Brothers misusing their DC Properties isn't a new thing. Whether it was back when they thought Christopher Nolan doing Batman's Properties was something to Piggyback the next Superman project, whether it was how they had the start of something good and how they decided not to capitalize on the popularity they had with the DC Properties or how after trying so hard and STILL failing with their newer ones even after Marvel had pretty much killed any hope for a cinematic comeback. Plus, it got some things I needed to talk about, like the twist with Jason from "Superman Returns", how painful watching a newer DC Cinematic Property is, and the damage it could cause. It made me feel like Joel and The Bots just by the end of "Castle Of Fu Manchu" and how much agony it caused me. And one last note doesn't expect more from the current DC Movies from me, I need to give myself a break and hope to god DC Movies get better.

(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number Six

(Cut to clips of "Reality Checkout: Are Cooking Shows Reality TV?")


James Faraci (Voiceover):
This was one I had been mulling around in my head for a while and requests from e-mails of people saying "Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives" or "Man Vs Food" needed to be taken down a peg or how much they hate the original "Iron Chef Japan" or it's short-lived revival a few years back. This was one time I had to help disseminate what was Reality TV and Cooking Shows. I actually love shows that help me better my culinary skills and tastes. It also had to show that I was not immune to what was happening as a forced shutdown of the studio had to happen and that 2020 would hurt James in more ways than one! As I had to not only shut down the studio and everything that I wanted to do, including the movie I had planned for this year and as to whether or not that will happen next year, that's now up in the air as well So yeah, while dealing with Reality TV forcing me to deal with the effects of The real world! The Paradox is mind-boggling!

(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
(Cut to clips of "The Top Ten Dumbest moments in the JAWS Movies" as James does a voiceover.)


TLOTA (Voiceover):
This one forced me to deal with some more of my pain and not because of the horrendousness of the "JAWS" sequels. Because "JAWS" was one of my brother's favorite movie franchises, bad moments and all! So sitting down, having to watch all those movies brought back memories of me, my oldest brother, and my father and all the fishing trips we used to have. While a lot of the moments were expected, one moment I missed out of while stupid I thought was too stupid to be on the list Ellen's Psychic connection to the shark and the flashbacks to moments she was only told about or not even a part of in any way shape or form, like the ending of the Original "JAWS" ending. Thank you Steve Kidd for a reminder as to why "JAWS The Revenge" is STILL a dumpster fire! But not as much as this year has been!

(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number Four

(Cut to clips of "The Different Cuts: Peter Jackson's Lord Of The Rings Trilogy" as James does a voiceover)


James Faraci (Voiceover):
Yep, this one was more a fan favorite than anything I cared for. I loved both editions of Peter Jackson's "The Lord Of The Rings" Trilogies. I loved all the time and effort Peter Jackson put into both versions that choosing one better than the other was an impossible task. So I just decided to say which ones were better and why both were worthy of the wonky point values I gave them. However the day I posted this one, turned into my worst day personally and professionally as I was happy to get my review link on the site Manic Expression.com and figured it would be a post of the week candidate. However hours later, the site was shut down for undisclosed reasons and while that was happening, I suffered the most painful loss in my personal life. On August 17, 2020, my beloved father passed away in my living room, he had been a touchstone in my life. He was an avid outdoorsman, a loving husband, uncle, father, and grandfather. Leaving behind his wife of forty-five years (My mom), three surviving children (Of which I am one of them, obviously), three Granddaughters, and nearly an infinite amount of memories for me and my family. And along with that every review I have done and any future review/project I will ever do I dedicate to him and my brother, his namesake Rob. So, how the fact that I had to endure the worst professional and personal loss I'd ever face on the same day I posted one of the best episodes clash with one another? Simply put, if I ever have a day like I did in August, well Check out the No. 3 spot.

(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number Three

(Cut to clips of "Survival Of The Shootist" as James does a voiceover)


James Faraci (Voiceover):
As I mentioned already on this list, On the same day I posted my "Different Cuts Of Peter Jackson's "The Lord Of The Rings" trilogy was also the day the original version of Manic Expression was shut down and the day my father had passed away. After finishing it and the "In Defense of... Baywatch", I shut myself away and decided to mourn my father's passing for a month! In that time I decided to wonder whether or not I should've called it a career as "The Last Of The Americans", canceled my movie project, and gotten into something else like working a job in some sort of job that I could learn to make sure I would hate myself for giving up on something I wanted to do with my life, do that until I dropped dead and wound up a corpse. However, my family, friends, fans, and colleagues in the reviewing community felt it would be a waste of what I've done and loved for the past seven years if I just stopped The Last Of The Americans dead and had no plans to end him properly. So I looked at a John Wayne movie and wondered what he would do when a tragedy. It was after watching it, I felt my dad's spirit come and comfort me and say "Keep on doing what you're doing. I loved you helping me out but seeing you do this makes me happy knowing I will be with you in spirit and you will be a success Bubba-Booey! I love you now as you move forward." That led me to believe that I could move on and I decided to review "The Shootist" as a tribute to my father and to my love of John Wayne. It was something that led me to believe that I could move forward with what I wanted to do to let me move forward. No matter what happens from that moment forward I was going to be happy and I would be doing what I want. Thank you, Dad, I love you and I will never forget all the good we had.

(0:36 until the end of the 1994 American Gladiators theme plays as it cuts to James as he morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Number two
(Cut to clips of "American Pie Bakery" as James does a voiceover.)


James Faraci (Voiceover):
Having to go through eight movies in three months was maddening, I had to sit through so much gross-out humor that knowing that there had a plot, character development and so many great moments inside what could've been mindless drivel, I mean, I DID get a sense of some disturbing moments that would shock normal people and for those who were wondering, I used the Unrated versions of the movies which put a lot more gross-out moments and moments of what Awkward Ashleigh would say "Titties". So that added a secondary source of turbulence. Because watching those movies was a litmus test I wouldn't wish on that certain Meshuggina Fegulah Schmuck from Chicago. However I do feel a sense of achievement that I survived all eight movies and got through them in a three month span. And apparently everyone loved how much filth and jokes about bodily functions/fluids, I could cram into the three months. Also how much Sean William Scott's Stiffler made me glad as to how far I've come. A lot of pie, made me glad about how far I've grown since the days of Wine and of course "The Pie"

(Scene begins with a laser hitting a slab of Titanium as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as three shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As the three-run out of frame moving forward, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written and directed by James Faraci, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down, and  James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. The Laser returns to cut out the Number)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
And The Number One Best moment of 2020 which by and large is a miracle 
(Cut to clips of "Living With The "Life As A Mermaid"" review as James does a voiceover)


James Faraci (Voiceover):
This started out as a request for the final season of that series by someone who wanted to like the series and it bloomed from there. I realized if I were to just talk about the season itself it would just be one chapter instead of the whole story. So I had decided to re-watch every little bit of minutia involved with the series and it reminded me why I loved the series. Plus, it gave me a chance to see the progression of where it began and where I can now say that "Life As A Mermaid" is over and done. I had tried to split the fan of the series I was and I still am to this day and the Reviewer that I am. I tried to be objective in the review but I had to ask intelligent questions about things that I had. Also for the record as I watched the last two seasons in their original run those questions were coming to me then. I asked them in my review of this series because if I didn't, it would haunt me. Also, I have to mention an update in the Amazon Prime uploads, except the first season which was the shorts and the fun little minisodes in-between seasons, everything else in the main series has been uploaded in its correct order, so that's positive. The negative seems to be that there has been a bit of a falling out between myself and certain people involved in the series. Maybe it's because I didn't get permission to review it from the people who produced it, maybe it was something I said or did in said review. Whatever I did I am using this moment to apologize for whatever I said or did in this review. I hope that in the new year we can somehow rebuild our relationships, professional and/or personal, and move forward on what we can do together! But even if there has been a negative, I'm hoping we can correct it and turn it into a positive or something we can joke about in the future. (Cut to James physically)

James Faraci:
Speaking of the future, what will 2021 bring about? Hopefully, my movie even if I have to make several adjustments to what I need and who I put in it. Also at the time of this post, I am once again re-posting ALL of my Backlog again on Manic-Expression.com, then you may have noticed big gaps which I will fill in with my "Summer Of Summer Spectaculars", which will be all of the summer specials I did over the past few years and I will be re-posting them on the site, I'll have my usual workload but I will have a few surprises up my sleeve and starting 2021 well (James pulls out his Morpher and the tone of the Morpher sounds like "Moves Like Jagger" as James morphs back into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans.)

TLOTA:
Well judging by the sounds you're hearing, I'm going to be well not as negative in 2021. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and guess what... (Cut to a green-screened image of the Galaxy where it looks like James is rippling through the cosmos)

TLOTA (Singing):
It goes a little something like this, watch him and he'll show ya! Look at him take control because he's Cool like Keanu, Yeah, Yeah, he's cool like Keanu, You know he coo-ooo-ool like Keanu! Watching him take control yeah, watch him and he'll show you how to be Cool Like Keanu, You gonna be cool like Keanu. You gonna be Coo-ooo-ool like Keanu! ("Moves like Jagger" sound-alike ends as it cuts to black)

Monday, July 6, 2020

"Birds" attacking me! "Prey" for me!

(Scene begins with a laser hitting a slab of Titanium as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as three shadowed figures with a lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As the three run out of frame moving forward, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left and Olivia Horvath appear in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of “Written and directed by James Faraci, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions” as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the words “The” “Last” “Of” “The” appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark the word “Americans” start to come forward as it pulls down and  James’ Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Fade cut to James in his room at his house and he is in tears and continues to cry as he holds up the case for “Birds Of Prey & The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn”)

TLOTA (While crying):
Mommy! I don’t wanna watch movies anymore! (James continues to cry as it cuts to the title card of “Birds Of Prey & The Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn” and clips of the movie as James continues to cry! Cut to the clip from MST3K of Joel and The Bots host segment “The Castle Of Fu Manchu” and they openly cry and breakdown. Cut to more clips of the movie as James continues to cry. Cut to James as he regains some of his composure.)

TLOTA:
Let’s not waste time, this… is… (James returns to crying as he tries to say, “Birds Of Prey & The Fantabulous Emancipation Of One Harley Quinn”! James cries “NO!” repeatedly for five seconds. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
So the movie starts four years after The Suicide Squad defeated The Enchantress as we discover Harley Quinn once again played by Margot Robbie after The Joker gave her the boot as she gets over the loss. She moves with a Taiwanese Restauranteur by the name of Doc and cuts her hair and adopts a hyena and names it Bruce Wayne in addition, she’s into Roller Der… (Audio of James crying cuts James off. Cut to James physically as he continues to cry for a minute then regains what little composure he can have after the year he’s had)

TLOTA:
I’m sorry, it’s just that OY FRIGGIN GAVALT! I HATE THIS YEAR! LAST YEAR ENDED WITH ME SAYING GOODBYE TO MY OLDEST BROTHER BECAUSE HE DIED, THIS YEAR MY SISTER SUFFERS A PAIN THAT HURT ME, THIS VIRUS FORCED ME TO SEND MY TEAM HOME AND SHUT DOWN MY STUDIO, I HAD GREAT IDEAS FOR THIS YEAR WHICH I HAD TO CANCEL THEM. BUT WHAT DO I DO?! I DEAL WITH THE WORST IN MOVIES, THE WORST IN POP CULTURE AND NOW WITH THE WHOLE WORLD GETTING DUMBER! I HAVE TO SIT AND WATCH THE DECLINE OF THE ENTIRE PLANET ON A GOD DAMNED MOVIE! WHY AM I BEING MADE TO SUFFER EVERY GOD DAMNED SECOND? IS IT BECAUSE I’M A 2+2=4 COMMON SENSE PERSON? IS IT BECAUSE I’M SOMEONE ACCORDING TO THE MAINSTREAM NEWS A PART OF EVIL BECAUSE I SUPPORT COMMON SENSE AND DIPLOMACY? IS IT BECAUSE SO MANY IN MY PROFESSION ARE SEEING ME AS AN ASSHOLE AND NOT THE DECENT GUY THAT I AM! AND YET IN SPITE OF IT ALL, AFTER EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD I STILL DO MY DUTIES BECAUSE I’M JAMES FRIGGIN FARACI THE LAST OF THE GOD DAMNED FRIGGIN DECENT, INTELLIGENT, HARD WORKING AMERICANS! (James screams like a madman and collapses. James’ right hand raises up and he picks himself back off from the floor, sighs and fully regains his composure)

TLOTA:
You know, after that, I feel as if I might just get through this turkey! Let’s do it! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
One night, Harley is at a nightclub owned by Roman Sionis played by Ewan Mcgregor while in a very intoxicated state Harley cripples Roman’s driver after being an asshole to her. It’s while she’s at the club she meets Dinah Lance played by Jurnee Smollett-Bell who saves Harley from being abducted! Even after leaving The Joker she can’t keep herself from getting into trouble. But Roman decides to make Dinah his new driver just as Renee Montoya played by the awesome Rosie Perez continues looking for a mob murderer who uses crossbows to kill their prey and a bombing at the Ace Chemical treatment plant. Finding Harley’s Necklace at the bombing Montoya confronts Harley who admits she bombed the Chemical plant and fears that Harley is in danger. Montoya decides to go to the one person who can help, Dinah who promptly tells Montoya to take a hike on the proposal to become an informant on Sionis. Instead loaded on non-lethal grenade rounds Dinah and Victor Zsasz played by Chris Messina go looking for a diamond embedded in it is the account numbers for the Bertinelli Crime Family. However a young pickpocket by the name of Cassandra Cain takes the diamond and swallows it. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
That’s gonna be rough on the digestive track! (James’ stomach churns) Speaking of digestive tracks mine has been kicking my ass. I need to poop and afterwards I’ll check out something in my palate cleansing then get back to the movie! I’ll be back! (Cut to James as he runs to the bathroom, the scene fades to black then cuts to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to James as he watches the 2002 TV Series “Birds Of Prey” on DVD)

TLOTA:
Yeah, I’m watching the “Birds Of Prey” tv series from 2002, I liked the show more than I do this movie! You got a problem with it, kiss my ass while I’m on the toilet! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After escaping from Sionis, Harley and Cassandra decide to hide at Harley’s place just as Doc is approached as to who the “Crossbow Killer” is. Doc tells that it’s Helena Bertinelli otherwise known as “The Huntress” played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Doc sells the two out which leads to Harley’s apartment being blown to bits! Pissed as all get out, Harley contacts Roman for protection and to hand Cassandra to Roman. Dinah spills to Montoya about Roman’s plans but Zsasz finds out and tells Sionis who now dons his ritualistic “Black Mask”. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
You’re probably wondering why I’m not in a foaming frenzy about how comic inaccurate things are in the movie. Well everyone who is a comic book fan knows how inaccurate things are and here is the mentality the fans have towards Warner Bros. and DC’s Live Action Movie Division. (Cut to the MST3K Clip from “Attack Of The Eye Creatures” in which Joel and the bots say “THEY JUST DIDN’T CARE!”. Cut to James physically) And if the fans believe DC and Warners just don’t care then why should I get upset at their stupidity! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Harley makes it to the park as does Montoya but Montoya is taken out momentarily by Harley as Zsasz tranqs Harley, holds Dinah at Gunpoint and is killed by Helena. Harley wakes up just as Roman and his crew known as the False Face Society. However our makeshift group of heroes come together with Harley’s old gear to whoop ass and to be honest, this is so underwhelming that it bores me, even when Dinah unleashes her Canary Scream! Harley and Dinah go after Roman confronting him as he holds Cassandra Cain hostage on the pier at the park. However Cassandra pulls a ring that was in Roman’s Jacket that was connected to a grenade and well The Wind Up, The Pitch and Boom goes The Black Mask! After that, Montoya quits the force, joins with Dinah and Helena to become a vigilante group known as “The Birds Of Prey” funded by the money and the account number that was hidden inside the diamond and Harley and Cassandra go into the Contract Killing business. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And of course we have our obligatory post credit scene! (Show Post credit scene of Harley about to reveal a secret about Batman but is cut off. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I just don’t care about what it was! This movie made it hard for me to care because it was so stupid I had to cry! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
“Birds Of Prey & The Fantabulous Emancipation Of One Harley Quinn” may just be one of those movies I wouldn’t recommend to my worst enemies to watch! It is so bad it’s on Cool Cat levels of bad, it’s almost as bad as the RVD Extreme Comedy Championship series! If a friend could come by and brought it with them, I guarantee not only would my friend be shown the door, they’d be shown the door with the movie shoved where the sun doesn’t shine! But then again what would I expect from DC’s latest Live Action Movies, but if what they’re saying about Wonder Woman 1984 and Flashpoint then maybe this will be the last time I have to deal with this horridness in my lifetime! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going heavy into my palate cleanse until later this month! I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that’s my opinion!

Friday, August 23, 2019

Connect the Plots: "Gotham" & "Birds Of Prey"

(Opening begins at the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours and welcome to another edition of"Connect The Plots" (Cut to a scene of James trying to connect certain things together like the theatrical version of "Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers" & "Halloween: H20", All the movie adaptations
of Stephen King, Superman Returns to the original Salkind Superman movies, the first three X-Men movies to the newer ones and the "Wolverine" & "Deadpool" movies before cutting to James strapped down in a straight jacket all the while a kid sings "Connect The Plots La-La-La!" before panning down to see anything that might have a minor connection spell the words "Connect The Plots" before cutting to every single movie, cartoon and TV Series and every bit of minutia featuring "Batman" as the Danny Elfman "Batman Theme" plays in the foreground and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Batman while I consider an Anti-Hero, has been a huge Icon for DC Comics though honestly he should be No. 2 in comparison to Superman but that's me. But then again after "Endgame" DC Comics should for "Dead in the freezing Cold water Comics" because the only way they can ever gain ground and be No.1 again is if everything Marvel touches turns to bigger piles of poop than DC have been doing but that's unlikely. 
(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Okay I went off track and I apologize for it. The point is Batman like Superman has had multiple incarnations and while a lot of them were in animated form the only true live action form was the Adam West incarnation. Other incarnations went to the animated route but if they ever try the live action route it always has the notion of how to make a Batman Series with out the Bat? They've tried it before twice. (Cut to Title cards of "Birds Of Prey" & "Gotham". Cut to clips of both shows as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Okay, Bear with me on this. The short lived series "Birds Of Prey" which aired opposite to "Smallville" and the recently ended "Gotham" are in my opinion bookends to a Batman series that will never got to see and it's not because of network execs. But maybe it can worked in either of the live action movies series that has come out but not the DCEU, I'm sure no one wants their TV Series connected to that toilet bowl without end. But I digress, How does these shows connect? Well let's start with the series "Gotham", it focuses on a Gotham City before the Batman exists and it tries to build up the whys and hows Gotham City became the ground for the need for Batman. "Birds Of Prey" focuses for the most part on a Gotham without the Dark Knight but the need for a hero still remains. While both shows have been ridiculed and dismissed, I have to ask the obvious, Where else does it connect? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Well believe it or not, I think it connects directly to the Tim Burton movies. (Cut to clips of "Gotham" and "Birds Of Prey" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
In the finale to "Gotham" we see the rise of Batman and for all we know everything that happened in the 1989 Batman Movie and Batman Returns happened. The Schumacher movies having been erased from continuity. The CatWoman movie we were supposed to get when it was meant to happen does happen and we get Helena Wayne and before ya can say "SHEDAISY!"  We go into the short lived "Birds Of Prey" and between network meddling and the inexperience of Laeta Kalogridis well we all know how that ended. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
But if both shows were to have been given more of a chance to do things right, would they add anything to the Batman Mythos? Absolutely!
(Cut to clips of "Gotham" and "Birds Of Prey" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Both series have the same problem they had potential to be good but in the case of Gotham it was just trying to recapture something that Christopher Nolan did and in the case of "Birds Of Prey" the show was trying to revive something Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher did but it had been dead but all things considered these two shows should've been better had things not gone the way they did we would be talking as how great both series are. Otherwise these two aren't worth the weight of one of Batman's Guanos! (Cut to James Physically as he sits on his couch)

TLOTA:
So, Now it appears, I am behind on certain things. I have yet to do a countdown, do one in October. A piece of something from my wheelhouse, I'll try to fit it in somewhere. A Crossover...A Crossover but with who and with what can I talk about? (Static is seen. Cut to KiraKennedy in his apartment)

KiraKennedy:
Hey James! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Hey KiraKennedy, thanks again for helping with my brother's family's GoFundMe. Link Here:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/s3pbfh-rob039s-recovery?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet
https://www.gofundme.com/f/s3pbfh-rob039s-recovery?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet

What's up Hombre? (Cut to KiraKennedy)

KiraKennedy:
I have this movie, I've been wanting to review and well... (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Well What? (Cut to KiraKennedy)

KiraKennedy:
It's a bad one! A Real bad one! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
I've dealt with "Spice World" The movie, the Woody Woodpecker Live Action Movie, The 2017 DC Movie "Justice League", "Fishtales", the failed live action "Clerks" pilot, BOTH versions of "Halloween 6", "The 3 Tails: A Mermaid Adventure", "GIGLI", "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 2", Pauly Shore's Cinematic Anal Opus "Son-In-Law", most of Shia LaBeouf's movies, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Valentine's Day, The Dark Knight Rises, Josie & The Pussycats, Jem & The Holograms, Son Of The Mask, The Interview and Seth Rogen's Green Hornet Movie. Whatever you throw my way cannot POSSIBLY be as bad as they were. (Cut to KiraKennedy)

KiraKennedy:
It's a bad one, the one most Comic Book movie fans, most DC Fans believe to be a myth. So tell me James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, can your heart stand the shocking facts of "Supergirl: The Movie"! (Cut to James as he decks himself out "Hot Fuzz" style)

TLOTA:
BRING IT ON!