The Ten BEST The Last Of The Americans reviews by the fans(So Far)

(Scene begins as a finger as it taps an app on a smartwatch as it opens a portal and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left on a white background and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays. Cut to James sitting in his office) 

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, and the views that I’m about to express are yours, this time. Believe it or not, I have been reviewing non-stop for the past ten years, only giving lip service to what you have been talking about. This time, I will not only have full testimonials from the people involved, but there will be behind-the-scenes moments, bloopers, and alternate takes that I had done, and all of these episodes I will be talking about have been chosen by all of you. From 2013 to 2023, these are the Ten best Reviews of The Last Of The Americans...(So Far) (Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and the words Ten best on top of the logo and at the bottom are the words So Far and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

10) The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (Cut to James Faraci as he laughs)

James Faraci:
So, I just ended a storyline where James thought he was trying to get views by being in a relationship with a celebrity, and although she had name recognition, I felt I was not making a name for myself.  So I decided to scrap it and try to have recognized names and names with Internet Success. (Cut to Traci Hines)

Traci Hines:
I remember James asking me, how would you like to work with Eliza Dushku and play an exciting part in starting a new storyline that will end with me working part-time on The Last of The Americans? I thought it would be fun, if not short because James didn't have long-term plans for me except for me and the rest of the team to be friends. (Cut to Eliza Dushku)

Eliza Dushku:
James told us what would happen in both September and October of 2015, and as I read it, I was in tears of laughter as he was doing the whole "Not The Requests" bit as he showed us what would happen, thanks Nicolas Cage with The Wicker Man "Not The Bees" meme and seeing James scream and act that way, I could barely keep it together. (Cut to Behind the Scenes as Paw takes a few practice swings, and James gives directions as it cuts to Paul "Paw" Schuler.)

Paul "Paw" Schuler:
I remember talking to James about the original musical version of "The Wicker Man," and James enjoyed it, and we watched the Nicholas Cage version to get the rhythm of legs being broken/ That Chicago asshole getting his balls; however, James did it better. I also loved how he would let me go hogwild when we were filming. I also enjoyed the ability to work before I decided to call it a career, save for a few assholes in this case. (Cut to behind-the-scenes of the final battle as James and everyone huddle around heaters.)

James Faraci:
See Doug, this is what it's like to have something to comfort people while in sub-freezing weather! (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
It was also around this time I discovered those pig shits from Chicago were less than willing to shill out enough to keep people and equipment from freezing because it was an inconvenience to them. I also had heard from others how having the one who was the face of the pig shits was so imbecilic that they were surprised that he was still breathing. (Cut to others as they complain about Him and his brother and that other asshole. Cut to James) Overall I loved the results even though, looking back I wish I could delete those assholes out of existence.

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

9) Duckman (Cut to Paulo and Brenda Fonseca)

Paulo Fonseca:
I remember James from our days in the local church. We had met again about nine years ago, and he said, "How would you and your sister like to hang out with me? I'm working on this project on the Internet and was wondering if you would like to do it?" (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
I was intent on catching up with that Jackass from Chicago, and I had talked to Rebecca about getting a studio on a lease within Sullivan County, NY. (Cut to Rebecca Yaun)

Rebecca Yaun:
I remember James saying, "Okay, I got the rental studio. Now, I need to hire and pay for assistance in terms of hired and skilled thespians to help with sketches and basically play off of me and remind me what a schmuck I can be. (Cut to James, Rebecca, and Paulo in the early days as they record behind the scenes for that year's October and November Workload as Paulo, Rebecca, and James do voiceovers.)

Rebecca Yaun (Voiceover):
Paulo said, "I will sign on if Rebecca is on board." Of course, I love my brother, but not in that way, you sick bastards. I said, "I would be glad to join the fun."

Paulo Fonseca (Voiceover):
We shot two months of work in two weeks, and James did all the makeup and had the costumes and everything ready to rock. James told me to make Dr. Plotz German, and we watched Peter Sellers' performance as Dr. Strangelove to give Dr. Plotz the flavor it needed.

James Faraci (Voiceover):
We found our old friendship chemistry and have worked well for so long... (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
So, I must be a good guy and a great employer. (Cut to Paulo and Rebecca)

Paulo Fonseca:
It's the pay! (Paulo & Brenda laughs)

Paulo Fonseca:
We kid, We love you, James.

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

8) Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (Cut to Gus Webb)

Gus Webb:
That asshole came to me and said, "I just wanted to thank you for reigniting my love for MST3K, and I'm inviting you to join me and my associate Rowdy to review the MST3K movie." and I said, "I would be glad to join you guys" (Cut to Chris Lee Moore)

Chris Lee Moore:
When James handed me the plot and what we would be talking about, James told me we would be filming it the same way the team at Best Brains did for MST3K. (Cut to Behind the Scenes of the MST3K movie review as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
Knowing it would be MST3K, I wanted to add as many references as possible. Between "Torgo" from "Manos: The Hands Of Fate," "Jack Perkins," "Pitch" from "Santa Claus," and of course "Mr. B. Natural," which thankfully Traci was able to do. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
Around that time, we brought in Olivia to do the makeup and work on the costumes for the series, and we met on the CONtv live Facebook streams. (Cut to Olivia Horvath)

Oliva Horvath:
James had hired me to A) work on make-up and costumes with his series and B) work on the show as a character, and James is one of the best people to work with. (Cut to Gus Webb)

Gus Webb:
We needed "MADS," and thankfully, James had two in mind. (Cut to Behind the Scenes of the MST3K movie review as Gus Webb does a voiceover)

Gus Webb (Voiceover):
When I saw Rowdy and Paulo in their characters of Stupidiot and Dr. Plotz, my immediate reaction was which one was going to be the Dr. Forrester and which one was going to be the TV's Frank of the duo, and as we filmed that day, which was also when we filmed the Silhouette portion of the review I had to watch everyone get a chance to play these characters, and I got it!  I got what James did right and what that pile of pig excrement from Chicago got wrong. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
It was some of the most fun I've had in a review.

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

7) Reality Checkout: "The Real World" destruction of MTV (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
Reality Checkout came out of the review that the fans of TV Trash wanted to see the most. Which was, of course, Reality TV, but the moment I saw it and how it ended, I became so worried I messaged my friend to let him know that he mattered to me. (Cut to the ending of  "The Real Reality TV" episode of TV Trash as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
 He is my friend and compatriot, and I also think of him as a brother in blood, sweat, tears, and arms. So, to take any further weight off Rowdy working on Reality TV, I told him I would go over this crap so he would never have to talk about it. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
And early in 2022, I got the surprising news that someone in my family was expecting a baby. My shock and surprise kicked in, and I initially devised a Reality Checkout on "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" condemning both series. I showed it to my mom, and she flipped out on me. Screaming, "This is the most disgusting thing you've ever done! How dare you say this and that!" The usual thing I get when people hear what I say about certain subjects, and as I was trying to salvage it, I remember thinking, "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom" were symptomatic of the situation. Thankfully, I watched "VICE" as they did a "Dark Side Of The '90s," and it was about "The Real World," and it was then I saw the cause of the problem of the MTV network. I quickly salvaged the message and subtly got it out. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
As for the additions to my family, I love them and would do anything for them and protect them with my heart and soul.

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

6) The Different Cuts of "Superman" (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
"The Different Cuts" actually started off by accident. I had planned to discuss the 2003 Daredevil movie and its director's cut simultaneously. When I saw it was feasible to discuss both before a certain Chicago Chuckleheaded pile of pig excrement talked about "Daredevil." I focused on four different criteria. The Plot is the most important part because it depends on the movie or movies. Then, of course, the most critical point of contention is editing. Since I am taking a course on editing and production of videos. The next point is how the cast portrays the characters and how they are used in the movie. "The Re-Watch Factor" comes from the fact that people eventually forget they saw the movie until they decide to find it again in some form and think, "It's been a while since I saw this movie. Was it as good as I remember it?" then come to the realization that "Hey! I love this movie; it was amazing!" (Cut to James Daniel Walsh)

James Daniel Walsh:
James and I found an equal love of the Christopher Reeve Superman movies, and he asked if I would be interested in working on an episode of "The Different Cuts on the Christopher Reeve Superman Movie." I was intrigued by the format. (Cut to behind-the-scenes of "The Different Cuts Of Superman: The Movie" as James Daniel Walsh and James Faraci do voiceovers.)

James Daniel Walsh (Voiceover):
Coming in, I knew what James had in mind and saw these white shirts with black ties and the letters "RTC."  I asked James about it, and James replied, "Oh, it's based on the "Right To Censor"  groups. You know, those uppity a-holes that think they know what goes into making movies that are as bland and entertaining as watching cheese age. I'm still working on who should be in the shirts." I responded, "Why don't we play the network standards and practices guys that you say basically take the jokes and humor and all of those guys, and we play them as they edit out jokes that would be offensive today."

James Faraci (Voiceover):
James Daniel Walsh had us dressed in Superman costumes, and I admit I was so excited because once I heard about how many people were considered by The Salkinds to play Superman and how many wanted to play Superman. One of them was Sylvester Stallone, and since he had that distinct voice, I told The Boss I could do Sylvester Stallone's voice. The first time he heard my Stallone, he went into a fifteen-minute laughing fit that could qualify as a Mental breakdown. This is the best description because I remember sitting in that costume for fifteen minutes as he got all the laughs out of him. Once he was done, we filmed the bit, and it was, for all purposes, the smoothest shoot of a review I've done post-pandemic. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
And ninety-nine percent of the credit and success belongs to James Daniel Walsh! (Cut to James Daniel Walsh)

James Daniel Walsh:
Happy Decade of Reviewing, James!

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

5) In Defense of... Capt. Katherine Janeway and "Star Trek: Voyager" (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
"In defense of..." came from hearing fans continually complaining that this piece of fandom sucks and this minutia was horrible and ruined the entire franchise. The usual fandom BS, and after so many years of things being ridiculed, I decided to take a Fresh take on it. I looked at things from a different point of view to see what was really going on. (Cut to clips of "In Defense of... Capt. Katherine Janeway and "Star Trek: Voyager" as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci:
Looking at how Linkara, SFDebris, and others seem to have this hard-on for treating Captain Katherine Janeway and Star Trek: Voyager, and after watching their continuous saying it was the worst series in Sci-Fi and in the entire Star Trek Franchise and all the usual spiel about it, and I got tired of it. And I watched the entire show to look at it and saw it in a different light. Katherine Janeway was stressed out and had to deal with those her employers called "their enemies." She was in deep, uncharted territory in the Delta Quadrant, so I do not envy her headache. Then she had to deal with "Q" and "The Borg." That drink she enjoyed probably had a little 200-proof rum mixed in it. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
So I decided that she was worthy of defense from idiots and the constant harassment, and it worked in my favor as one of the best.

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

4) Supergirl The Movie Crossover with KiraKennedy (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
I found, on a Facebook group page about internet reviewers like myself and others in my profession, a video from someone called KiraKennedy about the first season of Mako Mermaids, and it was about the time I was working on a Summer Spectacular about "H2O: Just Add Water" and "Mako Mermaids." He and I became friends, and I wanted to work with him on a future review.  (Cut to "KiraKennedy" on his game streaming set up)

KiraKennedy:
I got a comment from James about how much he HATED the final season of "Mako Mermaids." We became friends for a while when he said to me, I have to say mid-2019, James said, "I'm working on a review for September for a movie called "Supergirl: The Movie," and he had sent me a link to purchase it so I could add some bits and pieces but when we got together and I got a message and tickets to Sullivan County New York and when we met, the way he greeted me it was like we'd missed out of fifteen years and we were just reconnecting. The truth was we had just met face to face. (Cut to Behind The Scenes of the "Supergirl" review as James and KiraKennedy as they do voiceovers)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
I gave him a couple of days to get acclimated to being in Sullivan County, and by the third day there, he was ready to work on the review in earnest, starting with the sketches. He met Cambell Dodson as he was suiting up as Deadpool, and I was getting his Argo City citizen Clothing ready to rock and roll. 

KiraKennedy (Voiceover):
He told me that we were going to be performing as citizens of Argo City and were slowly going to de-evolve into crazed cannibalistic madmen. I asked why this was happening, and James responded that he and I talked about how slowly Kara would find the Omegahedron, and James consistently thought, "How much longer until Argo City is dead?" James had taken half a day to film the entire series of sketches in which it took for Argo City to go to dark, and then somehow quickly they go to them needing fuel for fires using whatever resources they had on hand and then them needing food and water how far it would go. (Cut to KiraKennedy physically)

KiraKennedy:
The rest of the shoot was Fun! The second half of the day had me looking barbequed, and yeah, James had yet to learn what I had planned until we did the practice take. (Show Practice Take as James sees KiraKennedy, and he shows James what happened to him after Alex and James laugh. Cut to James Faraci.)

James Faraci:
It was one of the last few times I would have fun working on a review.

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

3) The Disaster Artist (Cut to Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero)

Greg Sestero:
We were contacted by James just as the mass of the pandemic was starting to slow down, and people were slowly getting back to work. He said, "Hi Greg, My name is James, I'm an internet reviewer..." and I knew Tommy was not that far out of earshot (Tommy laughs). "...And I was wondering if you would be willing to be a part of a review."  My response was, "If it involves "The Room," then no!" James said, "It's about a book that you wrote that became a movie about "The Room," I'm doing a review on it, and I was hoping that you AND Tommy would be willing to be a part of it. When I heard that it was my book and the movie it was based on, I was immediately on board, and James convinced Tommy to be a part of it. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
Pre-pandemic, I Scheduled three days of filming. One day will be used to shoot the sketches, one day will be used to film the review itself, and the third day will be used for reshoots and pick-ups if necessary. Now, it had to stretch out to twice as long. The ONLY day I never work on is a Sunday because, in one way or another, it's that day for our creator. The Disaster Artist review was three weeks longer than I wanted. (Cut to Tommy Wiseau)

Tommy Wiseau:
James had a unique style of filming. (Cut to behind the scenes of "The Disaster Artist" Review as Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero do voiceovers)

Greg Sestero (Voiceover):
He had told Tommy the schedule about what would happen and how it would happen, and basically, James went through EVERYTHING slowly for Tommy; James went through the lines and the scenes and how he wanted to have the scenes go with Tommy ten times.

Tommy Wiseau (Voiceover):
I had a copy of the script, and James wanted me to say the "We will tear him apart, the bastard!" line similar to the "You are tearing me apart, Lisa!" moment in "The Room" and how I had to defend my choices in how I made "The Room." He had to tell me about the Monty Python. I didn't understand it; I still don't. But the end results speak for itself. (Cut to Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero)

Tommy Wiseau:
It was the best work me and Greg have done together since "The Room" and "Best F(R)iends" (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
Word of advice: if you think Tommy Wiseau will make your project easier, you need psychological assistance!

(Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

2) Sleeping Beauty (Cut to Chris Lee Moore)

Chris Lee Moore:
I would like to know how it got this high on the list. James did it with some Absolute Loudmouth Jackass from Texas whose name escapes me. (Chris laughs. Cuts to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
I was just a couple of months into the job after leaving MySpace, and I had to rebuild from scratch again. I got rebuilt here, and I admit the review style was raw then. (Cut to Chris Lee Moore)

Chris Lee Moore:
James allowed me to vent on the movie, including all the plot holes and how the movie just survived on Nostalgia, and I was grateful he was open to the idea!  (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
But thankfully, Chris was able to start smoothing out the rough spots with me. Like I said earlier, He is one of the best reviewers I've called a friend and compatriot. We were there when we needed each other personally; he is a great person to work with professionally.  (Cut to Chris Lee Moore)

Chris Lee Moore:
I am just grateful to be acknowledged by someone who deserves the best, and James knows who is the best. Happy Ten years, James.

 (Cut to every single intro of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans as they intercut to the right time and paced with the 1994 American Gladiators theme song as it goes to the logo and then a card showing the words "Honorable Mentions," then the title card of the movie reviews.)

Connect The Plots: MCU+NETFLIX Marvel Series+ Disney Plus MCU Series=The Snap, Law & Order SVU double feature, Penn & Teller Get Killed, Back To School, Life As A Mermaid, CENA: Warrior Actor, Cool Like Keanu, "S Club 7" The Hard Way, Just Add Water: My Mako Adventure (The Summer Spectacular for 2017), In Defense Of: THE MAN SHOW, Atop The Fourth Wall: The Movie, The Three Stooges, Reality Checkout: Are cooking shows Reality TV?, Aquamarine, The Rocketeer with DukeCT, Willow, The Green Hornet, 

(Scene begins as a finger as it taps an app on a smartwatch as it opens a portal and the 1994 American Gladiators plays as the scene cuts to a hand , and it cuts to different images of James as the characters he’s played until it cuts to his face and the credit of “James Faraci” is shown as it cuts to “The Last Of The Americans'” current iteration then slides away to different images of Paulo Fonseca, Brenda Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “Paulo and Brenda Fonseca & Rebecca and Nick Yaun” is shown as it then slides away to different images of John Ross and Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, and Ed Champion as the characters they’ve played until it cut to their faces and the credits of “John Ross Santos, Mike Santos, Andrew Beach, Ed Champion” is shown as it then slides away to different images of Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller and Olivia Horvath and the credits of “Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, Olivia Horvath” is shown as the 0:00-0:21 mark of the theme song plays. Everything becomes a swirl of Reds, Whites and Blues as the credits “Produced by First Choice Productions. Edited by Eric Kurtzke and Paulo Fonseca. Written and Directed by James Faraci” as the 0:21-0:26 mark of the theme song plays. We then see an outlined image of James as he morphs into “The Last Of The Americans” and lands with half of his team on his right. The other half on his left on a white background, and the title “THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS” is shown Lazer etched into Titanium as the last six seconds of the American Gladiators 1994 theme song plays as it goes to the logo, and then a card showing the number, then a title card of the movie.)

1) Power Rangers (2017), Wonder Woman, The Rocky Horror Picture Show & Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
There was a four-way tie. Are you serious? (James laughs in disbelief, then sighs) Where to start? I think I'll start with "Superman IV." (Cut to Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug.)

Linkara:
James contacted me and said, "I'm reviewing "Superman IV: The Quest For Peace"..." Before I even let him finish his sentence, my immediate reaction was, "I do not want to do it as a crossover!" and James said, "I know, I want a cameo from you, I'm bringing in Jon Cryer to work off of" (Cut to Jon Cryer)

Jon Cryer:
I was at a convention for "Supergirl," and James was there; he said, "I know you must get tired of this, but I was wondering if you wouldn't mind talking about a movie you did back in the 1980s," and I immediately think "Pretty In Pink" and the role of Duckie! And James said, "I'm reviewing Superman IV: The Quest For Peace! Before you get angry at me, I want you to check out my review script." It shows me getting angry that Internet reviewers like him ALWAYS mention this movie and my performance as Lenny, and now I get to make him pay for everyone else's constant harassment. (Cut to an outtake of James opening the door as Jon Cryer comes in and falls on his face, and everyone laughs, including Jon Cryer. Cut to behind-the-scenes footage of The Last Of The Americans "Superman IV" review as Jon Cryer does a voiceover)

Jon Cryer (Voiceover):
What surprised me about James' production is that even though it's shoestring tight, it makes everything work, and usually, he's the last one to leave and the first one there, a real professional in a sense. I also remember him showing me how my reaction would be once James said the movie's title, and in the first take, I was SO powerful in showing my anger that James had to literally go over to the camera and cut the recording. James' niece was also there, and James did everything to keep her happy and see what her Uncle Jimmy's life was like. I also saw she had her older sister's Supergirl shirt, and I told her that I was Lex Luthor on the show. I had to show her the clips of me being the bad guy. (Cut to Jon Cryer)

Jon Cryer:
The next thing I knew, I saw James' Niece with a whiffle ball bat trying to knock me on the head. (Cut to an outtake in which Vivian tries to go after Jon Cryer, and James tells Vivian that what they were doing was acting. Cut to James)

James Faraci:
After that, thankfully, Jon saw what we were doing and how we weren't hating on him as a person but rather a hiccup in his career. I am just thankful that we were able to get it done, especially like the other three that are on this list. Speaking of, the best one to continue with is the 2017 Power Rangers movie, and YES, I was inspired mainly by a pile of pig excrement from Chicago's review of a 2016 palate cleanser movie that I liked. (Cut to Gus Webb)

Gus Webb:
James had asked me to sign on to a movie about a franchise I knew and still know Jack Shit about, and this would be the last time I compliment this Jack Ass because James basically held my hand and took me through the Power Rangers because I know jack and shit about Power Rangers and Jack left a long time ago. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
I purchased homemade helmets that looked like the classic ranger helmets, and I then re-painted "Iron Man" suits to look somewhat like the suits in the movie, which wasn't that hard, and I decided to bring in some of my old friends to help with playing the Power Rangers when I saw the cast. Antoni Matteo Garcia is among the best people I've met in this business. He helped me with the music for one of the other projects that is also number one on the list. (Cut to Antoni Matteo Garcia)

Antoni Matteo Garcia:
It was so great to work with James because I found he has a well-written style and how he works with other reviewers. He asked me to play Zack, and I jumped on board without question. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
We had lost Eliza and Traci, and thankfully, Brenda, Paulo's wife, was willing to join us. I had just reconnected with Andrew Beach and Ed Champion. The more I remember working with them, the better. Because we had the chemistry and we worked off each other very well.  (Cut to Ed Champion)

Ed Champion:
The first thing James had us do was perform as "Social Justice Champions" that just said that if you thought you had rights, you were wrong, and we would be the ones to keep reminding you that everything you do is wrong. (Cut to behind the scenes of "Power Rangers (2017)" review as James does a voiceover.)

James Faraci (Voiceover):
So many of us were available simultaneously, but we filmed an alternate ending before certain people were open, and I had filmed and done the effects for that first. (Cut to the Alternate Ending of "Power Rangers 2017" as James does a voiceover.) However, I had just finished as Amy Jo Johnson, Jason David Frank, and Linkara were coming over. I showed them the ending, and they were not happy with it. Linkara was the most vocal about how I was wrong in how we ended the review.(Cut to Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug.)

Linkara:
I said, "Let me grab my Green Ranger suit; we'll film a better ending, and maybe we can come up with something better." (Cut to Amy Jo Johnson)

Amy Jo Johnson:
Jason Frank, may he rest in peace. He discovered what James was doing and said, "Let's try and rework the ending." (Cut to Linkara)

Linkara:
James said, "Linkara, I want you to go full throttle on your Power Rangers and Comic Book rantings." I responded, "Are you sure? Because once I get started, it will end badly." James was willing to let me go for it. (Cut to behind-the-scenes footage as Linkara sips liquid and prepares to rant. Then, we go to the original take of Linkara going full bore on his rants. Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
I remember cutting the camera myself because so many people were in shock. I could equate it to when I had to quote verbatim my friend Rowdy's facts about the death of "JFK" that Oliver Stone ignored in his "film" about what happened in Dallas in November 1963 about Lee Harvey Oswald in a Speech Class I was taking for College. What happened in that class was, after I had said that, two minutes of uninterrupted silence. The Professor broke it by saying, "Okay, who wants to work with James on this?" the student beside me raised her hand and said, "I'm not working with him!" (James laughs) I came on a little too strong. It was also around that time that Lewis was working with E-Rod, The Blockbuster Buster, on a future project, and I was preparing to make a big change when Rowdy said he wanted to focus his site on his projects. We were okay with that and the opportunity to join Manic-Expression.com; I thought it would work better, and I felt I needed to fire another salvo against that pile of pig shit. (Cut to Eric "E-Rod The Blockbuster Buster" Rodriguez)

Eric "E-Rod The Blockbuster Buster" Rodriguez:
James knew my wife before she passed away, and he asked if we could chat about something, even though I was a part of "That Site" at the time. James told me his plan for the Wonder Woman movie that was coming out that year, and James said, "I know you've pretty much thrown in the towel with the current DC Big-Screen Movies. I also want to review it before he does. Would you mind playing yourself? If you find yourself in the movie?" And it was about that time that I was busting the bad film from within the movie thing, and I thought it would work with James' ideas. But what sold me on being in the review was that I didn't have to watch the movie. All I have is to read the script and perform. (Cut to behind-the-scenes of the Wonder Woman review as Eric "E-Rod The Blockbuster Buster" Rodriguez does a voiceover)

Eric "E-Rod The Blockbuster Buster" Rodriguez (Voiceover):
When I saw Rebecca as the Gal Gadot Diana, AKA Wonder Woman, I was surprised at how she looked. Marsha gave me "The Look," and James constantly reminded me that her husband was not that far away, but WOW, Rebecca is as good-looking as any woman I met. (Cut to Rebecca Yaun)

Rebecca Yaun:
James had me set to play Wonder Woman since he first saw the "Batman V Superman supermegahypertitle" movie, and when James saw the Wonder Woman movie, we were just about to join Manic-Expression.com. It was just perfectly written and acted by everyone. (Cut to Eric "E-Rod The Blockbuster Buster" Rodriguez)

Eric "E-Rod The Blockbuster Buster" Rodriguez:
James as a writer and director, is awesome, but when it comes to being on screen, Holy Fuck Balls, he can act! (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
Working with others was great, especially when I could do less Behind The Scenes work, like with the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" review. I was working a little too much, and I had been on good terms with the people in front of and behind the scenes of "Life As A Mermaid," I said, "I need help for my review of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," and I was wondering if you would be willing to help me do this review." (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
James listens easily to directions and can stay on script, and there is a secret about this review. James and I directed it together, but James gave me full credit. (Cut to behind-the-scenes of the review as Julia Alexa Miller does a voiceover.)

Julia Alexa Miller (Voiceover):
James had originally had more than just Taylor, Marcella, and Maria on the review. However, real-life tragedies and other events forced James to recast with his people and others from the now-defunct Validus Productions to help work behind the scenes. James helped with the framing and the story. He had help from Steve Kidd and Antoni Matteo Garcia with the music, which was so well crafted. (Cut to Antoni Matteo Garcia.)

Antoni Matteo Garcia:
James had asked me to help craft the lyrics as much as he did. The music was well-timed, but the lyrics James had originally done needed to be up to his standards. And he asked me to smooth the rough edges of the songs, and it was rather easy. (Cut to Behind The Scenes of the review as Antoni Matteo Garcia does a voiceover)

Antoni Matteo Garcia (Voiceover):
Seeing how James, even though he wasn't directing and had a stranglehold on the production, was overseeing a lot, James did a great job of helping where he could behind the scenes. James actually had to rework the ending on the fly, and he did a great job coming up with solutions. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
James is a great person; a bit annoying, but still a great person. (Cut to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
It has been a fun ride so far, and I plan to do more and continue to improve in my profession. (Cut to James as The Last Of The Americans back in his office.)

TLOTA:
Thanks for checking out the ten best The Last Of The Americans as chosen by you, the fans. I hope you saw and learned more about me and the reviews. So what's in store for 2024? Outside of my eleventh anniversary? (Static cuts to Kevin Smith as he looks at James.)

Kevin Smith:
Is that crazy strong and uber-powerful crazy woman nearby? (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA:
No, Why Kevin Smith? (Cut to Kevin Smith)

Kevin Smith:
Well, I first wanted to say Happy Ten Years to you, James! Second, I'm coming up on the thirtieth anniversary of Clerks. So I was thinking... (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA:
Say no more; I was going to premiere next year with a three-month Kevin Smith movie masterpiece marathon! (Cut to Kevin Smith)

Kevin Smith:
As Jay says best, "Snoogans!" (Cut to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA:
Right, so Kevin Smith Movies are starting this January through March. Until then, I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and I will see everyone in 2024.

The Different Cuts: X-Men Days Of Future Past

(Scene begins with A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers, 2016 Ghostbusters and warriors of Wakonda from “Avengers: Infinity War” at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman  and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from “The Last Of The Americans” reviews moments of 2018 as the Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his Office)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. And Welcome back to another edition of “The Different Cuts” (Whistling version “The Lumberjack Song” is heard as Team TLOTA dressed as Lumberjacks see a gigantic piece of film celluloid and James chops it down and the other members cut it to different lengths and on the ends sticking out of the back of the truck the words “The Different Cuts” are seen in differing syllables. Cut to “X-Men Dark Phoenix” Trailer as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
With “X-Men: Dark Phoenix” having put the final nail in 20^th Century Fox’s rights with the X-Men Franchise and the production company and as of this moment 20^th Century Fox now being just another soulless subsidiary of the Mouse eared Empire and that is a shame to see a once mighty juggernaut fall to ruin. But what led us to this point? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Well, some say it all went downhill after one of the more particularly good X-Men Movies (Show Opening Title card of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past”, Cut to Clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
“X-Men: Days Of Future Past” is actually one of the better X-Men movies in recent history. It rewrites certain movies out of continuity, tells the tale from the comic in its own way and was the second half of a necessary evil in Rebooting the venerated franchise. However, from what has been discovered Anna Paquin was supposed to be in the movie, reprising her role as “Rogue”. But for one reason or another Anna was forcibly cut from the movie. Leaving people stunned, however Bryan Singer wasn’t about to let what Anna did lie on the cutting room floor so the same year “Days Of Future Past” came out in theaters “The Rogue Cut” was released on Blu-Ray and DVD and Digital Download giving us the version that was meant to be seen. But does it mean it’s better? (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
Let’s find out as we look at both versions of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” and figure out what the best version of the retelling of the Comic Book Classic. Let’s start with… The Plot. (Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as a set of Adamantium Claws slice out the words “The Plot” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Adapted from the Chris Claremount & John Byrne tale about how Trask Industries’ Sentinels pretty much made Mutants nearly extinct and those that are still alive are slaves in certain camps with the human sympathizers, The surviving X-Men with the aid of the evolved powers of Kitty Pryde, choose Wolverine to go back in time to stop the Sentinels. In order to do so, Wolverine must reunite Professor Xavier, Magneto and put the Kibosh on Mystique’s plans of killing Bolilver Trask and ending the reign of the Sentinels. So, which one uses the plot to its full advantage? Well, seeing as how The Theatrical Cut does have more of a focus on the plot, The Rogue Cut shows the “What if” scenario happens and Kitty Pryde is stabbed to death and gives more depth as to how far gone we truly are as we see the X-Mansion destroyed and Cerebro being misused to hold Rogue down and when they get her out how Iceman pays the price. So, there is a little more depth to what is going on in the plot. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
So in this case, it’s a tie and you know what? I think both deserve the point and both show how the adaptation works when done almost the right way. What is the right way? Patience shall be rewarded grasshopper.(Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as an Adamantium Claw pops out of both signaling both have earned a point as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground, cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
And of course now we come to a big controversial part, the part that must be addressed, how much the editing changes the Days Of The Future Past. (Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as a set of Adamantium Claws slice out the words “Editing” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
When 20^th Century Fox edited out Anna Paquin’s Rogue to a simple Cameo in the Theatrical cut the fans went NUTS! They obviously liked Anna’s take on the Southern Power Sucker because Fox Relented to allowing Bryan Singer to putting Rogue back in along with some other scenes that for all intent and purpose had some bearing on the plot. Mystique came back to the X-Mansion when Beast was still around and the two try to resume their romance which I’m sure had Professor Xavier was there, he wouldn’t be a happy camper! (Cut to a drunk Professor Xavier as he hears something in Beast’s room.)

Professor Xavier (Played by Ed Champion):
Oi! Beast, if you’re in there doing what I think you’re in there alone, you need to get out more and just do something, be with someone even for a moment with someone else.

Beast (Vocally performed by Andrew Beach with the line being repeated with a half second delay):
Okay Professor! 

(The Professor walks away sticking his finger in his ear to clear his hear out. Cut to clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
However, that was a Rouse as Mystique takes out Cerebro and a secondary post credit scene is put in as Trask played by Peter Dinklage is put in Magneto’s cage as he is a traitor. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So, what does this mean in terms of the editing? Believe it or not, quite a lot. (Cut to clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
As I have gone on record before, there is tons of footage that is used when making a movie and the slightest alteration can change quite a bit. Which makes this decision on which one is the better one a little easier. While it was nice that they put Rogue back into the film, in all honesty very little was better. I mean yeah, the added scenes were good of certain things I did mention but that doesn’t make it a bad version. In fact, the scenes that didn’t work in the theatrical cut works better in The Rogue Cut so yeah, we all know where this is going. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
The Rogue cut is up two to one  (Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as an Adamantium Claw pops out of the theatrical cut cover and two Adamantium Claws pops out on the cover of “The Rogue Cut” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground, cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
The Rogue Cut is up two to one, but which cut is the better one? What is the better telling of the X-Men story? We’ll discover it, after the break! (An earth-shaking vibration occurs, and James is thrown out of his seat) Okay, if this becomes a running gag instead of my desk being demolished, I will work out of a metal chair! (James walks outside to see the sky turn purple and a crack of white looking to absorb everything in sight. Cut to James as he shuts the door and Julia Alexa Miller walks to James)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Okay, the sky has turned purple and there’s a big crack in it, what’s going on?

TLOTA:
It’s the Paradox Rift! (James runs past Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
PARADOX RIFT?! (Cut to James as he tries to scan the sky in the cockpit of James’ Space time device and Julia Alexa Miller runs in) Okay James, what in the hell is a Paradox Rift? 

TLOTA:
A disturbance. Something that can tear reality into nothing, if left unchecked. Last time I dealt with it, it caused enough chaos, that I was left with no alternative but to change things I did and sacrifice something I truly wanted. (James turns around to work a part of the console when Julia Alexa Miller slams her hand on top of James’, the camera focuses on Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Was it Emmalina? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
I lost her years ago, there was one other, Lea. She died because of my own stupidity but I saved her from that death. Now… Now it’s back and I don’t know how to fix it! (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
So, I’ll do you a favor and jump in, sacrificing myself. (Cut to James as he is shocked and angered at the thought)

TLOTA:
NO! I’ll find a way! (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
And if you can’t I’ll do what I must. Even if it means saying goodbye to you! James don’t do anything, except your review before doing anything. (Cut to Julia as she kisses James and James walking away scared and confused as everything becomes distorted for five seconds before returning to normal as he looks and sees some changes including several feet of dust and James seeing photos of members of Team TLOTA with black fabric covering their faces and James seeing how he ages until he looks like his dad. James runs to his office to see his older self, played by James as he types on a computer)

TLOTA (Older Self):
Hey James, how are you! (Cut to James as he stares at his older self and says “What?” with a surprised sound in voice fading to black then fade into the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro as it cuts to James in his living room)

James Faraci:
Hey everyone, again coming up with an update on the GoFundMe and my brother. He’s improving but slowly and the family still needs the money and with the kids going back to school soon every cent from the GoFundMe will go to help with the day to day living expenditures and it is not getting easier or better. When there is a charity event, I will talk about it, but for now the GoFundMe is the only support to the family that can help ease things. Click on the link below and do what you know what you must do and thanks once again.

https://www.gofundme.com/s3pbfh-rob039s-recovery?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=fb_dn_cpgnsharemore_r&fbclid=IwAR3bJnEB5p_se2LUG_0gvjfoE7nSQwyBsSmerkU5o6afQX0cl49znnL7zk0

(James fades to black before fading to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fade cutting to James and James’ older self sitting in the office.)

TLOTA:
What in the hell is going on? (Cut to James’ older self)

TLOTA (Older self):
I’m you! I am the version of yourself you can’t avoid! Buried in Pop Culture, Movies, Media after I lost her, I did everything to fix it, but I never could. Didn’t even finish the review I was working on when all hell broke loose, it still is, she didn’t change a thing, not in the way she hoped she would. Everything still went to hell and nothing has changed. It’s pretty much the point where I’ve tried to fight and save everything I still can but not even the loss of the team appeased it. Now, I’m alone. I truly have become “The Last Of The Americans” (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
And all this time you never did anything, tried to make it work with Alex, used the sword to stop the rift? Anything? (Cut to James’ older self)

TLOTA (Older self):
You know, I never did anything. Didn’t even finish that “Different Cuts Of X-Men: Days Of Future Past” atonement for a life fueled by acts of a man who lived with a sword made of all sorts of media dies alone at last. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
So you just stayed here and never finished anything, lost everything and you gave up! How badly did I fail myself? And the worse thing is, I did it to myself. This is my reward, it’s not fair. (James gets up and throws his chair onto the desk as he shouts, “IT’S NOT FAIR!” and it shatters the desk.)

TLOTA (Older self):
Now the damned thing falls apart!

TLOTA:

YOU! SHUT UP! TIME FOR ME TO GET BACK TO IT!  Back to the “Days Of Future Past” with the cast & characters (Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as a set of Adamantium Claws slice out the words “Cast & Characters” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
With two different casts many people would think that this movie would be a Clusterbank of just confusion. But the truth is… it isn’t. (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA (Older Self):
What the hell do you mean?

TLOTA:
Let me explain! (Cut to clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Both James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart were amazing as Professor Xavier as was Sir Ian McKellen and Michael Fassbender were incredible as Erik Lehnsherr AKA Magneto. The MVPs in this movie was of course Hugh Jackman and Nicholas Hoult. Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine has evolved from where he was in the first movie. Plus, Nicholas Hoult’s Dr. Hank McCoy aka Beast having to stay with such a despondent and Broken Professor Xavier as his rock, Nicholas was awesome and Kudos to the make-up department who did the Beast Make-Up in this movie for making him look closer to not only the 1990’s animated series and the Beast Kelsey Grammar portrayed in “X-Men: The Last Stand”. The most improved in terms of acting from the previous movie to this one goes to Lucas Till as “Havok”. While it isn’t his best performance he’s ever done, it is lightyears better than his work in “Monster Trucks” (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA (Older Self):
Lucas Till, I remember him from somewhere else. My mind is so destroyed by what I’ve done, I can’t remember for…

TLOTA:
I just hope he will find a better role for him in the future. The one who basically said her lines and was freaking cardboard was Jennifer Lawrence and I mean NO disrespect to her acting abilities, but I can only imagine what it was like on the set. (Cut to Jennifer Lawrence dressed in full Mystique make-up and prosthetics played by Taylor Huff as a Production assistant played by Johnny Berchtold talks to her while an infant cry off screen)

Production Assistant:
Uh, listen, Jennifer, as you can tell Bryan Singer is not too happy and expects you to put in a little more effort into your performance.

Jennifer Lawrence:
Look, I’m here for my paycheck and if the pay is right, I’ll put in the amount of effort necessary to…

(Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA (Older Self):
MacGyver! That’s who Lucas Till was best remembered as. He made Richard Dean Anderson’s version of the series get put back into repeats on TV and that helped sales of the series on DVD.

TLOTA:
Okay, you disrupted a sketch because your brain finally figured out who Lucas Till was?

TLOTA (Older Self):
It’s your pop culture destroyed brain as well, Jackass!

TLOTA:
Okay, again You SHUT THE HELL UP! Secondly, Taylor, Johnny, I apologize for my older self for ruining the sketch. (Cut to Taylor and Johnny)

Johnny Berchtold:
It’s cool dude!

Taylor Huff:
Yeah, we kind of figured something was off when we saw your dad dressed up as you. (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA (Older Self):
I AM JAMES YOU DUMB…

TLOTA:
Don’t say anything that I’ll regret when I’m as old as you!

TLOTA (Older self):
Trust me you say a lot that you’ll regret and a lot more that you don’t say.

TLOTA:
Let me tell you something, I will most likely say things that people will not let me live down but what about the stuff I don’t say that I will regret. What don’t I say?

TLOTA (Older self):
Calm Down and get back to work.

TLOTA:
Fine! (Cut to clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
It was also gratifying to see the original cast of James Marsden, Famke Janssen and Kelsey Grammar appear in cameos as their older selves and it was so awesome to finally see Bishop played in live action by Omar Sy. In fact, some of my favorite moments in the movie involved the interaction between Patrick Stewart and James McAvoy as Patrick’s version tells James’ version that even the greatest lost faith in themselves but they can regain it. Also, it showed how much Ian McKellen’s version of Magneto had matured while not fully renouncing what he did, he does regret it and the conversation he has with Professor Xavier saying how the two wished they had stayed more friendly in their darker times the two had. Even Peter Dinklage was amazing as Bolivar Trask. Both were so great, there’s nothing left to say except it’s a tie! (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA (Older Self):
A Tie?! How can this thing end in a Tie?

TLOTA:
God damn, I get as senile as him don’t I! The category ends in a Tie! The Rogue cut still has the total point advantage and it’s not for the obvious reason. (Cut to clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
As much as bringing Rogue back works in the movie’s favor, The movie was going to have a lot of cast members to work with and Bryan Singer knows how to work with characters and story, with the occasional misstep (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA:
The total points go to “The Rogue Cut”

TLOTA (Older Self):

AH Feh!

(Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as two Adamantium Claws pops out of the theatrical cut cover and three Adamantium Claws pops out on the cover of “The Rogue Cut” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground, cut to James and his older self Physically)

TLOTA (Older self):
So what else is left the replay value? Return something or rather?

TLOTA:
The Re-Watch Factor!

TLOTA (Older self):
Wow that sounds incredibly dumb as old man Deadpool over there! (Cut to an older Deadpool with a beard over the facial part of the mask and him carrying a cane played by Cambell Dodson)

Deadpool:
He’s right you dang whipper snapper! (Deadpool takes off the beard and drops the cane) Ha! Played you again, you old fuck! I’m as young and hip as EVAH! Woo-Hoo! (Cut to James and his older self)

TLOTA (Older self, Chuckling):
Yeah, he does that every now and then but guess what, I’ll be laughing in three, two… (Bones crack and Deadpool shouts in pain) Yep, a bit early but still nothing like seeing Deadpool get his come-uppance!

(Deadpool shouts “Bite me Old man!” The younger James looks on in defeat. Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as a set of Adamantium Claws slice out the words “The Re-Watch Factor” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground clips from both versions play as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
While it would be easy to say that the Rogue cut is superior version or the theatrical version is the best, it’d be a little too biased because both are amazing. I can say after watching both they may be telling the same story but in different ways. Yes, Rogue getting her own version was awesome, but it wouldn’t have hurt the theatrical cut to have put a little more of Rogue in it. By that same logic though it would’ve been better if in The Rogue Cut if they had taken out a few scenes that didn’t add anything. Like say having Cerebro destroyed in the grand scheme of the movie didn’t exactly add anything interesting but I understand why it was added in. There was so much that went into trying to help bolster a reboot in the X-Men Movie Franchise but as we discovered with the future entries, the X-Men Movies were on their way out. But I digress Both versions of this movie have the re-watch factor by the ton and because are so great that like the first category, third and this category, it’s a tie. I’m surprised that two different versions of the same movie in the same categories got a lot in common. (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA:
And given my current situation, that’s something I can’t say I can relate to given who I’m dealing with!

TLOTA (Older Self):
GO SCREW A LIGHTBULB!

TLOTA:
Shut up, but given the final point tally, The Superior cut is without a doubt, “The Rogue Cut”

TLOTA (Older Self):
You’re an idiot!

(Cut to the Theatrical cover of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” pops up and moves to the left and the “Rogue Cut” of “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” Cover pops up and moves to the right as three Adamantium Claws pops out of the theatrical cut cover and four Adamantium Claws pops out on the cover of “The Rogue Cut” as John Ottman’s “X-Men” theme from “X-Men 2: X-Men United” plays in the foreground, cut to the scene in which the Sentinel laden future is wiped out and the theatrical cut vanishes with them. Cut to James and his older self Physically)

TLOTA:
But believe it or not as much as I liked both movies, the best version of this was of all things probably something my associate forgot existed! (Cut to the “X-Men” 1990’s Cartoon Intro then cut to the clips of the two part “Days Of Future Past” episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
The 1990’s cartoon while taking Kitty Pryde out and putting in Bishop followed a lot of the Comic Book’s plot and it is a couple of my favorite episodes in the series. The Animation tells the story perfectly to the comic story. It surprises me that when people see this after seeing the movie and say “Wow, this cartoon sucks!” To which I say, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” If I had the choice with watching these two episodes or the two “Days of Future Past”, I’d watch the animated series first then the movies. (Cut to James and his older self.)

TLOTA (Older Self):
You know something…

TLOTA:
I know quite a bit dude, just because you are a version of me that wasted his life doesn’t mean that it’ll happen to me!

TLOTA (Older Self):
OF COURSE THIS IS WHAT’LL HAPPEN TO YOU! YOU FORCED ALEX OUT OF YOUR LIFE! SHE DID WHAT SHE HAD TO DO AND IT DIDN’T HELP! That crack in the sky is still sucking everything up been doing so for years now.

TLOTA:
Wait, Alex is gone?

TLOTA (Older Self):
Yeah, she was the first one to go, then everyone else, one at a time, I couldn’t save them. Paulo, Rebecca, John, Mike, Andrew, Ed, Renee, Brenda, Olivia, all of them, one by one! (James gets up to the door)

TLOTA:
No! NO! I’ve got to… (Cut to James’ Older Self sitting there)

TLOTA (Older Self):
There’s no point. They’re all gone! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
I CAN TRY! I CAN TRY TO DO SOMETHING INSTEAD OF SITTING ON MY ASS AND LET MY PAIN OVERTAKE ME! (Cut to James’ Older Self sitting there)

TLOTA (Older Self):
It’s all I have left! Why the hell do you care? (Cut to James as he tries to desperately open the door)

TLOTA:
BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS TO… YOU CAN’T STOP ME! I AM JAMES BENJAMIN FARACI! I AM THE LAST OF THE AMERICANS!  AND IF SACRIFICING MYSELF IS THE PRICE I HAVE TO PAY TO SAVE THE ONES I LOVE CAN LIVE, SO BE IT! MY LIFE DOESN’T MATTER TO ME, NOT WITHOUT THE PEOPLE I LOVE TAKEN FROM ME! I CAN’T LIVE KNOWING I FAILED HER (A Female hand touches James on the face, James turns around and sees Lea Michele)

Lea Michele:
You didn’t fail me and just because I remember doesn't discount everything you've got going for you. Now get out there and do what you do best. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
For Alex? (Cut to Lea Michele)

Lea Michele:
For yourself, Open the door and let me go, once and for all! I know I’ve been an anchor weighing you down, no more! I free you from what happened, Go! Go Now! (The door clicks open and James pulls the door open and steps through everything becomes distorted for five seconds before returning to normal as he looks and sees everyone there lying on the floor as it cuts to the Parking lot of The Studio as Julia Alexa Miller wears the Ring, the bracelet, the amulet and preparing to focus her powers into the relics. Cut to James as he prepares to set an autopilot into the Space Time Device as “Final Showdown” from Michael Kamen’s X-Men Soundtrack plays in the foreground. Cut to Alex as she raises the sword over her head and a secondary pair grabs the sword!)

Julia Alexa Miller:
What are you doing?

TLOTA:
Together or not at all! (A powerful burst of energy emanates from the parking lot as it hits the Space Time Device super charging it. As the device enters the rift the light expands covering everything in white. Cut to James as he wakes up in his work office and decides to step out of the office as he notices everyone setting up a poker card table) Hey guys! (Cut to everyone saying either “Hey!” or “Hi”. Cut to James) You guys setting up a game of poker? (Cut to everyone)

Paulo Fonseca:
Yep, once a week play for quarters and the one with the most by the end of the game buys everyone drinks. The one with the least amount drinks something they don’t like.

John Ross Santos:
Yeah but after a while you get used to the taste of certain drinks. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Uh listen, I’ll be back, deal me in! (James walks over to the staircase and as he does, he hears a lot of what his older self was saying as he walked up the flight of stairs to the next floor and as he approaches Alex’s Office James says to himself “Atonement for a lonely life at last”. “Deliberate Thought” by Kevin Macleod plays in the foreground. As James approaches the door, he notices the “Validus” logo is gone and James opens the door. Cut to Julia Alexa Miller sitting at her desk)

Julia Alexa Miller:
James! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Alex, Uh I need to borrow your ring, it’s important. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she tosses her ring to James) I’ll bring it back. (Cut to James as he walks down the stairway to his studio’s floor and he walks out to the Jewelry Store down the road and comes back to Julia Alexa Miller’s Office and de-morphs back to James Faraci)

James Faraci:
Uh Alex, I want to ask you something. It’s kind of important. Something I’ve wanted to ask but I was afraid. Not anymore. (Cut to the outside of Julia Alexa Miller’s office door as it fades to black and we hear come out of Julia Alexa Miller the audio “Oh My God! James!” The words “To be continued in 2020… In… “The Last Of The Americans: The Movie”. Fade To Black)

The "World" according to "Spice"

(Scene begins with James opening the door to his new studio as he enters, he has a smile on his face.)

TLOTA:
Good morning ORAC!

ORAC (Audio only):
You’re certainly in a rather good mood.

TLOTA:
Why not, the studio warming party is in a few hours, Alex is in a good mood and I’m going to watch and review the movie “Spice World”. (Record scratches)

ORAC (Audio only):
I now must ask the obvious, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR SENSE OF SANITY?

TLOTA:
Long time ago ORAC! But I’m still going to watch and review the movie “Spice World” (Cut to Team TLOTA as they pop out of the couch and other areas in the studio and look James over and he protests the actions nicely.) STOP IT! Look, I’m going to watch this movie and there is nothing and no ONE who will stop me from watching (Cut to Mathew Buck as he prepares another “Projector” episode when his cell phone rings.)

Mathew Buck:
Hello? (Cut to Mike Jeavons as he prepares another “Week On”)

Mike J:
Mathew, did you get a message from James Faraci The Last Of The Americans’ compatriots? (Cut to Mathew Buck)

Mathew Buck:
I haven’t checked my E-Mail in a while, why did they contact You? (Cut to Mike J)

Mike J:
Well apparently James is planning on watching and reviewing “Spice World” The Movie. (A Record Scratches as it cuts to Mathew Buck)

Mathew Buck:
“SPICE WORLD” THE MOVIE?!? Suit up Mike, we’re going to New York! (Noble music plays as intercut scenes of Mike J & Mathew Buck suiting up to go before cutting to Grace Jeavons as she prepares something.)

Mike J:
Alright Grace, Mathew and I heading out to the states to stop a Reviewer in America from watching “Spice World” the movie! Be back later, I love you, bye!

Grace Jeavons:
Don’t be gone for too long!

(Grace continues to do her thing as it cuts to A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the 2017 Power Rangers, 2016 Ghostbusters and warriors of Wakonda from “Avengers: Infinity War” at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun as Wonder Woman  and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple clips from “The Last Of The Americans” reviews moments of 2018 as the Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his new Work Office)

TLOTA:
I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and some of yours. And believe it or not, I have found the ultimate Nirvana experience of something so bad it’s so good that it comes back to being bad in a good way! A little time capsule of everything wrong and right in the late 1990’s in terms of the entertainment industry and the world itself! (Cut to the title card of “Spice World” The Movie then cut to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
All I can say after sitting and watching this movie, I can honestly say this is one of the most Nucking Futs movies I’ve ever seen and to be honest I knew going in it was going to be a bad movie. But as since it has been released it’s gained a cult following! Does this movie deserve that honor, or does this come off as bland as Century old “Mrs. Dash”? (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Let’s (Banging on the door) Excuse Me. (James opens the door) What’s up? (A Pair of hands begin to throttle James as it cuts to John Ross Santos as he tries to knock James out as James flips him like a quarter, Mike Santos tries to hit James with a running attack and James jumps and the door to Elevator opens and Mike hits the elevator car with a thwack! Paulo, Brenda, Rebecca and Nick try to bum rush him from the back by hoisting him by his pants and as James comes to the door way James puts his feet on the Door Jamb and James pushes the four of them down to the ground and James rolls on to his feet and heads back to his office as Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach acting as a barricade to James’ office door. Cut to James)

TLOTA:
OY GEVALT! Why are you holding me up? Do you really think a bad movie is gonna make me and my life any crazier than what it is? Okay Enough is enough. DEADPOOL! (Cut to Deadpool landing on Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and Andrew Beach)

Deadpool:
What is it this time? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
I’ve got a review to do and I need you to keep them from entering and NO KILLING! (Cut to Deadpool)

Deadpool:
You’re no fun! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Not today I am, this is “Spice World” the movie! (Cut to “Spice World” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

The movie opens to let the audience know who in terms is of who the Spice Girls! There’s Geri “Ginger Spice”, Mel C “Sporty Spice”, Mel B “Scary Spice”, Victoria “Posh Spice” and finally Emma “Baby Spice” as we see them sing the song “Too Much” as we’re soon introduced to an unlicensed documentary filmmaker played by Alan Cumming and his crew going behind the scenes and following them is a pair of novice movie makers played by George Wendt and Mark McKinney who want to put them in a movie and of course ask the pertinent question.

Graydon:
Yeah but can they act? (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
Well according to the critics the descendants of Shakespeare should hold a permanent restraining order against them! (Cut to “Spice World” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
We soon see what the girls’ daily routine is which includes Photoshoots of them dressing up like well-known feminist icons and cosplaying like each other! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
(Raspberries) That’s nothing, check out some of the characters we dressed up as in our last Photoshoot! (Cut to James dressed as a Certain “Critic” and mocks his voice, look and makes him sound like a person who thinks 2+2=IFLYDACHOOCHOOTRAIN!, Eric Kurtzke dressed as a certain “Snob” and Eric says dressed as said “Snob” how much of an asshole he is and how much he deserves to be treated like garbage and how he and his wife deserved to be doxed & swatted at a family member’s funeral then showing the rest of Team TLOTA being dressed up as other BETTER Internet Personalities whooping James and Eric to a pulp before cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that we find the five in a double decker bus that… Yeah I know what’s coming so let ‘er rip “Doctor Who” clip! (Show clip of “Twice Upon A Time” as Captain Archibald Hamish Lethbridge-Stewart sees the Interior of the TARDIS and says “It’s Bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!” before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover) Anyway, The five of them talk about what it’s like for them to be famous and what their lives are like now especially with one big ass live Pay-Per-View extravaganza to be aired all across the galaxy, so the pressure is on them to deliver, BIG TIME! During a rehearsal they’re greeted by an old friend Nicola who is about a few days away from delivering a baby and as they perform we cut to an evil gossip magazine editor who hates that the Spice Girls are getting along which means slow news sales and this was before the Internet pretty much made the Newspapers go the way of the Dodo, so what to do? Hire Riff Raff from the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” to make up bad news. I’m not even joking that IS Richard O’Brien as the Paparazzo whose only goal is to snap photos and make up more Fake News than everyone else is making now! Did the writers have a Crystal Ball or something? Anyhow, Their manager Clifford is a little hesitant on giving them the time necessary to be with their friend especially when the head of the record company “The Chief” lets Clifford know that the concert is important and that the show must go on in no certain terms. And I DO mean The Chief played by former James Bond the late Roger Moore tells Clifford in no certain terms that the show must go on AND, in my opinion, Roger Moore’s dialogue is the most bizarre in the history of cinema. (Show all the clips of Roger Moore saying his lines that make no sense whatsoever and in one clip Clifford admits that he has no idea what the hell “The Chief” is saying. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I sooooooo wish I could’ve met Roger Moore when he was alive and asked him what was going on in his mind when he filmed this. (Cut to “Spice World” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
So instead of being with their friend, the Spice Girls are sent to of all things a Concert Boot Camp! A… CONCERT…BOOT CAMP! There are days that make me realize how BONKERS FOR BANANA BALLS my profession is! And today is one of those days! After getting through the camp the girls spend the night and have some interesting conversations. Of course, that wascally paparazzo takes the photos and distorts the truth, isn’t that always the way with the bottom of the barrel. But I digress, after a party where they meet Bob Geldof and surprisingly Elton John, I’ve got nothing. The Spice Girls have another practice concert and after the concert we’ve got… (Show clip of Aliens landing and the Spice Girls interacting, getting autographs and being photographed, cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Aliens! We have Aliens making first contact, and they want photographs and autographs of the Spice Girls! I’m going to take a break! (Show James try to open his door when he sees the door is locked) Uh, what’s going on? (Cut to Team TLOTA)

Paulo Fonseca:
Trust us James we don’t want to do this but it’s for your own good! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Locking me in with the movie and the means to review it? (Cut to Team TLOTA)

Rebecca Yaun:
Well it’s only until the help we asked to stop you from reviewing it. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
What help? (Show Mathew Buck and Mike J stuck in the airport as the two trade barbs at each other before fading to black then fade into the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro as it cuts to James in his living room)

James Faraci:
Hey everyone, again coming up with an update on the GoFundMe and my brother. He’s improving but slowly and the family still needs the money from the GoFundMe to help with the day to day living expenditures and it is not getting easier or better. When there is a charity event, I will talk about it, but for now the GoFundMe is the only support to the family that can help ease things. Click on the link below and do what you know what you must do and thanks once again.

https://www.gofundme.com/s3pbfh-rob039s-recovery?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=fb_dn_cpgnsharemore_r&fbclid=IwAR3bJnEB5p_se2LUG_0gvjfoE7nSQwyBsSmerkU5o6afQX0cl49znnL7zk0

(James fades to black before fading to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before fade cutting to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
As the Spice Girls are going through what they’re going through, Clifford must deal with our filmmakers with ideas that’d make what Jonah and The Bots are dealing with look like small potatoes! (Show clip of the Movie Makers as they tell their ideas to Clifford then cut to James as he answers a phone)

TLOTA:
Hello! (Ten seconds of silence) No, They’re not real movies. (Five seconds of silence) No Kinga, They’re not real movie ideas! (Five seconds of silence) Kinga, I gave you a list of ten movies for the next season a couple of years ago. (Five seconds of silence) Yes, Kinga, just as you had ensnared Jonah, I made the list. Look in the sidebar, under 2016, September, right there, there you go! Goodbye! (Cut to “Spice World” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
As Clifford tries to hold onto the few threads of sanity he has left, the Spice Girls try to do a “Make A Wish” type of event with a fan on a boat. It quickly becomes the Titanic and I don’t mean the movie, I mean the actual Titanic and not helping is the Paparazzo. After a meltdown just hours away from the concert, the Spice Girls walk away. Clifford handles it well. (Show Clifford screaming matching the intensity of the lights behind him before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA:
As well as anyone that stressed out, I mean I’d react differently. At least I hope I would. (The doorbell rings as it cuts to the front door to the studio as Mathew Buck and Mike J enter. Cut to Team TLOTA)

John Ross Santos:
Okay, James is in there you know what to do, Right? (Cut to Mathew Buck and Mike J)

Mathew Buck:
You’re damned right!

Mike J:
Let’s do it! (Cut to Mathew Buck and Mike J on the Horseshoe couch drinking tea with Team TLOTA sighing and or shaking their heads in disbelief behind them!)

John Ross Santos:
You two do realize James is in his office rotting his mind on “Spice World” The Movie, right?

Mike J:
It’d been a long flight and we missed our tea!

Mathew Buck:
How true, it helps us with… Ooh! Doctor Who! And it’s A Matt Smith/Jenna Coleman episode!

Mike J:
Excellent! (John Ross Santos roars in anger as it cuts to “Spice World” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
That night, the Spice Girls have the same fantasy about what would happen to them once they had to meet head to head with failure. (Show clip of the Spice Girls in Pop Culture Court. When the Judge tells the bailiff to call for “Hootie & The Blowfish” and the gavel bangs the footage shakes as it cuts to James being shaken around then cut to the rest of Team TLOTA, Mathew Buck and Mike J as they shake)

Brenda Fonseca:
WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!  (Everyone runs to the first window that opens)

Mike J:
OI! The movie just went off the track and taken us around the bend! (Show The cover of the DVD of “Spice World” as it carries a cut out of the outside of the studio as it recreates the Train going off the tracks in the Marx Brothers Classic “Go West” as it cuts to everyone else reacting)

Nick Yaun:
WOW! It’s like one of those rides at a carnival!

(Show the Cover of the DVD of “Spice World” as it smashes through a house and the Studio catches it taking it off it’s foundation as the guy on the roof still works on the roof. Cut to Mike J as he looks at the guy)

Mike J:
Why don’t you come on in, there’s a lovely fire in the living room! (Cut to “Spice World” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
The Spice Girls go back to the bar they were discovered at and realize they’ve been bad friends to Nicola. So, what to do? Go to a club with their friend to apologize for not being there for her! But during their performance of “Who Do You Think You Are?” Nicola goes into labor. They make it to the hospital and stay there just long enough to see Nicola give birth to a daughter. However, a doctor whose disguise quickly comes off as the Paparazzo that’s been hunting the Girls come head to head.  (Show clip of The Spice Girls running after the Paparazzo who suddenly has a face turn and James screams “WAIT A MINUTE?!” as a record scratches and it cuts to James physically)

TLOTA:
Why such a heel to face turn as quick as The Big Show’s latest one? Why after hunting them all this time did, he turn on his bosses? Why didn’t the Spice Girls not buy what he was selling and eviscerate the bastard? I mean it would’ve been the one killing that would’ve made every Paparazzi realize they’re scum and need to quit? I think this would’ve worked. Here’s how I would’ve filmed it! (Cut to Mike J, Mathew Buck, Paulo Fonseca and Ed Champion dressed as Paparazzi as multiple thwacks, body crushing blows, a ton of Screams coming out of one guy before a Splat is heard and The Spice Girls performed by Rebecca Yaun, Brenda Fonseca, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller and Julia Alexa Miller walk out of the elevator as the Paparazzi look and sees the off-screen destruction, proceed to toss their cameras in the garbage and toss their collective cookies and cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that, with their Bus Driver Missing in Action, Victoria decides to take the wheel and CUE THE MUSIC! (Show footage of The Spice Girls trying to get to the concert hall as “I Can’t Turn You Loose” from “The Blues Brothers” soundtrack plays in time with the scenes and as the bus parks the music ends) The Spice Girls are momentarily held back and Clifford comes up with a plan B, to kill himself on stage in front of a world wide audience. Thankfully that never comes to pass as the Girls get their A-Game faces on, the concert is a success and the movie ends with the filmmakers making their Spice Girls Movie and The Girls breaking the fourth wall! (A huge off-screen explosion happens as it cuts to Team TLOTA)

John Ross Santos:
Alright, did you enjoy your Tea?

Mike J (Off Screen):
Yes!

Mike Santos:
Did you like the “Doctor Who” episodes?

Mathew Buck (Off Screen):
Yes!

Ed Champion:
Watched the Soccer game?

The other members of Team TLOTA, Mike J & Mathew Buck (In Unison):
FOOTBALL!

Ed Champion:
Fine, The Football game!

Mathew Buck & Mike J (In Unison, Off screen):
Yes!

Andrew Beach:
Did you do EVERY SINGLE LAST BRITISH THING YOU WANTED TO?

Mathew Buck & Mike J (In Unison, Off screen):
Yes!

John Ross Santos:
Okay, James, we’re letting you out now! (James opens the door.)

TLOTA:
About time! Hey Mike, Mathew! Glad you could make it! (James brotherly hugs Mike J and Mathew. Cut to a very heavily confused Team TLOTA and John Ross Santos shaking and sputtering)

John Ross Santos (Very Angry):
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, JAMES! (Cut to James, Mike J & Mathew Buck)

Mathew Buck:
James let us know he was reviewing this movie weeks in advanced!

Mike J:
I’m just surprised you found something to like in it!

TLOTA:
Who said I did? (Cut to clips of “Spice World” as the song “Spice Up Your Life” by The Spice Girls plays as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
This movie is a turkey, no questions about it. The writing is bad, the acting is so over the top it is on the levels of Camp no one could match, It feels like this whole movie musically is just a reason to buy the first two albums again, Everything is just WRONG on levels not even known to man. Yet, somehow it works in the movie’s favor. Knowing you’re going into a bad movie may make it just bearable enough to find something good about it and I did. It’s never going to be Shakespeare, it’s a bad movie that’s so good it boomerangs back into bad territory, in a good way. If I were an adult with kids, I’d watch it with them with discretion but if I were a fan of cinema, I would be careful while watching because this Spice after all these years can bite you in places you can’t mention aloud! (Cut to everyone as John Ross Santos has the look of wanting to scream)

John Ross Santos:
Excuse me! (John walks into James’ office as John screams and a loud shattering sound is heard and everyone reacts with an inquisitive look on their faces. Cut to John as he has a look on his face that says, “I’m killing people, get out of my way!”) WHY CAN’T I BREAK YOUR DESK?! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Yeah, I got a never break table, lasts a long time and takes a lot of abuse and can never break! Guys calm him down!  (Cut to everyone else as they say “Alright” and walk off. Cut to James, Mike J & Mathew Buck)

Mike J:
So, what else did you have planned for us? (Cut to James as he has a smile on his face as it cuts to James, Mike J and Mathew Buck watching James’ Nieces play soccer and win it with seconds left on the clock and everyone cheers!) Now this is Football!

Mathew Buck:
They’re serving Chicken Tikka Masala for like Ten American Dollars a plate here!

TLOTA:
That’s why I like it here, High Quality Cuisine and sports that everyone likes! But I do have a question for you guys! What happened to the flaming bus wreckage from “Spice World”? (Mike J and Mathew Buck have a look as if to say, “Even we don’t know”. Cut to an Internet Troll played by Cody Slusher)

The Internet Troll:

And how freaking dare anyone bring up legitimate criticism about Doug Walker! That man is a saint and should be treated as such! You guys are salty because he's popular despite Change The Channel! All you are...(A Whistling sound is heard as The Internet Troll looks around) What's that noise?

(Cut to The Internet Troll as looks outside to see a huge pile of flaming Bus Debris comes his way)

The Internet Troll:
OH NO! IT’S FLAMING BUS DEBRIS! SAVE ME CHANNEL AWESOME! (A “Ting” noise is heard as a tweet from “Channel Awesome” is sent to The Internet Troll saying “You’re on your own and We’re sorry you feel that way”) OH NUT…(Cut to black as a loud explosion is heard)