Top 10 Episodes of THE ORVILLE So Far

(Scene begins in the depths of space as we see The Orville flying in the depths of space. We soon find Lt. Cmdr. John LaMarr, Lt. Cmdr. Bortus, Isaac, Lt. Cmdr. Talla Keyali, Cmdr. Grayson & Capt. Ed Mercer as they discover a bunch of devices, one being a Sonic Screwdriver and ORAC inside a room for scientific research)

ISAAC:
According to scientists, these artifacts were found in what was once known as Sullivan County, New York. During the twentieth century, specifically a heyday in The 1920s until the 1960s, it was part of what was known as "The Borscht Belt." It was when residents known as Hotels were used to finding talent for television, movies, and theater, both local and national. And Borscht is a soup made from beetroot and topped with Sour Cream. It is also served cold.

Lt. Cmdr. John LaMarr:
According to what I've read in the research, this is a Screwdriver. Though I thought it was for personal stimulation because of the sonic frequencies. 

Lt. Cmdr. Talla Keyali:
And according to what I've read, This is a supercomputer. It has an activation key that runs on a rechargeable battery. A few ounces of self-sustaining energy from the Quantum Core will suffice in reactivating it. With your permission, Captain.

Captain Ed Mercer:
Let's see if it can work. (Talla puts the activation key in, and the ship shuts down)

Cmdr. Kelly Grayson (Audio only):
John, find the backup generators and get them going! (The ship restarts, and ORAC activates)

ORAC:
All systems and functions are at one hundred percent. (Everyone except Isaac jumps back in surprise.)

ISAAC:
I am Isaac. You are... (Cut to ORAC)

ORAC:
ORAC! A supercomputer created for the British Broadcasting Corporation's Science Fiction series known as "Blake's 7," I was revived by one James Faraci to assist him in his reviews as his Internet Reviewing persona known as "The Last Of The Americans," and if I am given access to an area where I can create a holographic connection to him and his time. I shall show you what he was like. I am also aware of all the people on board the Planetary Union Starship USS ORVILLE Service number ECV-197. Status: Active in service as a Mid-level exploratory ship however, from interspace chatter, it is becoming a flagship for the Planetary Union. (Cut to Captain Ed Mercer

Captain Ed Mercer:
Impressive. John take... (Cut to ORAC)

ORAC:
ORAC!  (Cut to Captain Ed Mercer)

Captain Ed Mercer:
Right! ORAC to an environmental simulator. Bortus, Talla, run a security sweep to make sure ORAC won't take us into the heart of a sun. (Cut to ORAC)

ORAC:
I observe Asimov's rules of robotics. One) I may not injure or harm a human being through any action or inaction or allow a human to be harmed. Two) I will obey any order unless it comes into conflict with the first rule. Finally, I must protect myself as long as it does not conflict with the first and second laws. Besides, It would be a waste of time and energy best used as assistance in any way, shape, or form for your Planetary Union for any passing idea of intergalactic conquest. Think of all the religious and sociological differences that would cause me to suffer a catastrophic malfunction that would reduce the galaxies to dust. But to alleviate your discomfort, I have run the security checks myself. No foreign virus or program has infected either myself or your ship.

Captain Ed Mercer:
I appreciate it. Place ORAC in an environmental simulator; we'll run this by the Admiralty. (Cut to an exterior shot of the Orville as it flies in the depths of space as Admiral Halsey appears on board the ship with the others in the environmental simulator with ORAC.)

Admiral Halsey:
Fascinating. So ORAC's priority is to act as an assistant for information or as a one-device assistant when a complete crew is incapacitated.

ORAC (Audio only):
Indeed, Admiral Halsey, And I am preparing the necessary connections to show you my former owner, James Faraci The Last Of The Americans, at his office. (Cut to Captain Ed Mercer)

Captain Ed Mercer:
When will it be... (The environmental simulator changes to James Faraci The Last Of The Americans' Lobby) ready?

ORAC (Audio only):
Currently, you are still in your environmental simulator. The temporal connection point I made with the studio would be synchronized with James at the current point of the year 2022.

Lt. Gordon Malloy:
Wow, so this was what it was like in 2022. Reminds me of that one simulation. (The sound of walking is heard as James walks in, sees the crew of The Orville, smiles, and looks over his workload for the next few months.)

TLOTA:
Make yourself comfortable; I am just about to finish my August workload. Of course, it will be a little awkward because it's about you guys. (Cut to Lt. Cmdr. Bortus and Lt. Cmdr. John Lamarr.)

Lt. Cmdr. Bortus:
It can see us.  I thought it was a Hologram.

Lt. Cmdr. John Lamarr:
I did a scan; this is more than just a recorded hologram from the past. According to the results, ORAC has turned this environmental simulator into a holographic imaging chamber and connected itself to a version of itself from 2022. How that is possible?

TLOTA:
I will tell you during the intro. (The scene fades to black as it cuts to the depths of space as a sound-alike to both the theme song of The Orville and the 1994 American Gladiators theme as we see the depths of space before cutting to James' Space-Time Device as it zooms through the sky as the title of "The Last Of The Americans" in the same font of The Orville's title card. James and his team are credited, and the guest stars are credited as the cast of "The Orville." Cut to the Space-Time Device as it flies through the depths of space with grace as it credits James as the writer and director of the episode. Cut to the crew of The Orville.)

Captain Ed Mercer:
Incredible, even though in our time we're real, in your time we're a tv series, and everything that is happening to you now, we're viewing you in the present time of your time.  While not affecting anything here, you are a hologram to us, and we are holograms to you. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Exactly and I am about to talk about your adventures while you learn how your adventures are being thought of in my time. You check out the monitor; I will check out the camera above it so I can talk to the audience. I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. If you love Sci-Fi at its best, then you HAVE to watch The Orville. (Cut to the Title card of The Orville, then clips of the series as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Created by Seth MacFarland, the same one who created Family Guy, Ted, A Million Ways To Die In The West, and helped create American Dad. The Orville started as an idea by MacFarland's attempt to bring Star Trek back to the small screen. When Paramount told Seth to hit the bricks, he took his idea, refined it, and has since turned what could've been a bad parody attempt at Star Trek and turned it into the purest Sci-Fi series I have ever seen. The series stars MacFarland as Captain Ed Mercer as he travels into the depths of space on board the mid-level exploratory ship known as The Orville in the Planetary Union set in the 2420s. His crew consists of Lt. Gordon Malloy, played by Scott Grimes, The captain's best friend, and is possibly the best pilot in the Union.

Lt. Gordon Malloy (Audio only):
Thanks for the compliment

TLOTA (V.O.):
Next up is Isaac, played by Mark Jackson; Isaac is a Kaylon whose mission is to understand human behavior; throughout the first one and a half seasons, Isaac was a diplomat for his people. Of course, his people are robots, and comparisons were made to the character of Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation. While yes, on the surface, he could be considered a clone or a cheap knock-off of Data. His development led to love and being more than what his people were which according to Captain Ed Mercer, they're a bunch of racist robots. His development ties in with Dr. Claire Finn, played by the ever lovely and distinguished Penny Johnson Jerald, who you may also remember from shows like 24 and, of course, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine as Kasady Yates, Benjamin Sisko's love interest and eventual wife towards the end of the series run. Dr. Finn is a single mom of two boys, Ty & Marcus, she is the ship's doctor and often the counselor for everyone on board. Her development is intertwined with Isaac's because both Isaac and Claire start to develop a romantic relationship, and the culmination of said development is on this list.

Isaac (Audio only):
A fascinating description of the relationship you have between Claire and myself.

Dr. Claire Finn (Audio only):
A little brief, but something tells me you know what you are doing.

TLOTA (V.O.):
Next up is Lt. Cmdr. Talla Keyali, played by Jessica Szohr. She's the chief security officer and a Xelayan. A Xeleyan is lighter and stronger than a normal human under the differences of gravitational levels between earth and that of the Xelayan home world. Initially considered by fans as a knockoff of the previous chief security officer Lt. Alara Kitan, played by Halston Sage, we see that Talla is as good as her predecessor and quickly won the fans over by bringing her own shoes to the role of the chief security officer and won me over by showing empathy and true strength by using her head and her heart more than her fists.

Lt. Cmdr. Talla Keyali (Audio only):
Uh... Thank you?

TLOTA (V.O.):
You're most welcome. Up next is Lt. Cmdr. Bortus, played by Peter Macon. He's the second officer and is a Moclan. The Moclans were the primary weapons manufacturers for the Union until an incident involving Bortus' offspring Topa convinced the Union to tell the Moclans to get the hell out. More details about it later: they pee only once a year in a celebration called Ja'Loja and are supposed to be one gender only. We'll talk more about it as the countdown goes on. But he winds up with quite a bit of development, and I will talk about what happens to him when I talk about the episodes about him on the list. 

Lt. Cmdr. Bortus (Audio Only):
Interesting you know all about me.

TLOTA (V.O.):
 Finally, we have Commander Kelly Grayson, played by Adrienne Palicki, Her infidelities led Ed to suffer a year-long slump in his career, and she has since been seeking atonement for her actions. One of the actions of atonement was helping Ed get the Captain's chair of The Orville. The show started off in a rough patch but quickly found itself in the highest echelons of sci-fi and became a hit series. However, after two solid seasons, Fox promised the third season, but soon due to the usual chicanery that goes on with a series that everyone likes EXCEPT the network. Fox dropped the series. However, HULU granted the series a stay of execution and picked the series up for the third season. And after watching that season, it's clear that there's more greatness in the future, and at the time of this post, it is also now on Disney+.  While I will discuss my thoughts on the series at the end of the top ten list. I will say, YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT! But for now, to celebrate its success, so far, I am going to count down ten of the best episodes from one of the best Sci-Fi Series ever made. And so everyone knows, there will be spoilers. However, I will do my best to keep it to a minimum. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So let us praise Avis and engage The Quantum Drive. This is the top ten best episodes of The Orville So Far! (Cut to different lines containing clips from the series proper as the main title of the series plays in the foreground, and the lines come together to create the Planetary Union's Logo and the words in the same text as the series opening credits "The Top Ten Best Episodes Of The Orville, So Far." The words fade as the number pops up over the Planetary Union's Logo, and James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number ten

10) Lasting Impressions and Twice In A Lifetime
(Cut to clips of the episodes as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
On an archaeological discovery in Saratoga Springs, NY. The archaeological team discovers a phone which features a girl named Laura, played by Leighton Meester; Gordon finds Laura so interesting that he decides to make up a simulation that features Laura in her life as Gordon tries to interact with her as much as he can. But when something he doesn't want with Laura happens, Gordon learns that he can't change the past without ruining something good for someone else. And as for the follow-up episode, "Twice in a Lifetime" shows Gordon doing exactly what he would have done. A bit of backstory, a device called the Aronov Temporal device was introduced in the pilot; the device was known to age things forwards or backward in a life span.  However, Lamarr is capable of turning the device into a time transfer device. And when The Kaylon hears about it, Gordon goes down to destroy it, which sends multiple versions of him throughout the Space-Time Continuum, which would explain certain people in other shows that look like Gordon Malloy.  But I digress; when the crew finds him, they arrive ten years too late. Gordon has married Laura, has a son, is expecting another kid, and has a job in aviation.  This puts everyone in conflict on what to do. Gordon says he has a good life and doesn't want to go back. However, the solution is even more heartbreaking than losing Gordon. Of course, any other solution is automatically thrown out of the airlock. But the ending stays with you as one of the most heartbreaking of the series. All things considered a strong entry point in this list.

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number nine

9) Pria
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
This episode is on the list because of how it balances out its A & B plots. The B plot is Gordon trying to teach Isaac about humor by doing practical jokes to one another. Gordon places Mr. Potato head pieces on Isaac, and Isaac takes it too far too quickly! (Show clip of Gordon having woken up with one leg and confronting him, calling Isaac Sick and saying that there is something wrong with Isaac. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I've heard of jokes where someone said, "You're Pulling My Leg." but this was ridiculous. (Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Then, of course, there is the A plot which involves Pria Levesque played by...by...by...by...(Slowed down audio of the word "by" is heard as the saxophone pieces from "Careless Whisper" is heard we soon cut to the single members of Team TLOTA as they look in love with Charlize Theron. Cut to further clips of Charlize Theron as it cuts to the married couples of Team TLOTA as they look in love with Charlize Theron. Cut to more clips of Charlize Theron. Cut to James as he looks in love with Charlize Theron just as Julia Alexa Miller comes in with a bucket of ice water, and James gets hit with it and screams to high heavens as it cuts to a mountain with snow on it and James scream causes an avalanche! Cut to James physically as Captain Ed Mercer and Dr. Claire Finn come over to see what happened.)

Captain Ed Mercer:
What happened?

Dr. Claire Finn:
Judging by the scream...

TLOTA:
Can I tell you both something? I and that woman you saw, her name is Julia Alexa Miller AKA Alex Liquidverve Miller on Instagram. We have minor arguments, which lead to her winning by having my privates waxed! (Captain Ed Mercer slowly backs away) The fact I saw Charlize Theron and had that look of falling in love was wrong of me. So as a reminder, even though the hairs grow back, she occasionally reminds me of where I stand with her now. And ice cold water on freshly waxed privates hurt like nobody's business! 

Dr. Claire Finn:
I know that sensation. Might I suggest...

TLOTA:
We have an on-site therapist, Dr. Denny. He's good, a little obsessed with the 2003 movie "The Room," but he's competent, and I want to get back to work right now. (Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Yeah, this is Pria Levesque, played by Charlize Theron. Probably doing the episode as a favor to Seth MacFarland, but nevertheless, She is amazing as Pria. Pria's mysterious actions and dialogue throughout the episode keep Kelly guessing until it's too late as Pria takes the ship into the further future. A catfight between Kelly and Pria and Isaac's consciousness in the ship causes Ed to regain the ship and destroy the black hole everyone went through, eliminating Pria from everything. What also puts this episode on the list is that everything started to gain more traction by this point. The Critics were slowly coming around to the series, the fan base was growing rapidly, and the ratings were starting to climb for the series. So this episode was pivotal to helping the series become bigger and better as the season went on. So this episode was worth putting on the list. 

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number Eight

8) Future Unknown
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
A lot of people called this episode unnecessary. But after a season of so much heavy-duty intense Sci-Fi action, adventure, and drama, a comedic respite was LONG overdue! And this was the perfect comedic respite. After a disturbing ceremony in which Bortus and Klyden renew their vows. Isaac decided that the time was right to take the next step in his relationship with Dr. Claire Finn. Isaac proposed marriage to Dr. Claire Finn after leading the audience most of the second season, and this season, unsure of their relationship, decided that they'd like it and they were gonna put rings on it. I know Futurama would look down on the relationship, but according to Isaac, he would be there for Claire and her boys and any further descendants. And anyone who is able to do that is someone you don't let go of. And in typical comedic wackiness, Isaac invites everyone on his home planet to the event! (Cut to Isaac as he tells Captain Mercer why they're there. Cut to a still of Isaac as Waa-Waa music plays, Cut to James physically as he comedically shrugs his shoulders. Cut back to the episode as James does a voiceover.) We also get a return of Lysella, played by Giorgia Whigham, seeking asylum from her planet. She is tired of the usual rigamarole on her planet, which I will discuss later on this list. Alara Kitan, played by Halston Sage, also came in as a cameo to see how everyone was, wish the best to both Claire and Isaac, and fully pass the torch to Talla. But suffice to say, this comedic breather was awesome! And for those who have problems with the comedic tone, I say this, even shows like Star Trek in every series and the occasional movie had their comedic relief moments/episodes. So take it easy and enjoy the laugh and the love between Isaac and Claire. (Cut to James, Dr. Claire Finn, and Isaac physically)

TLOTA:
And before I forget, even though the episode aired and I watched it. I wish I could've been there to say L'Chaim and Mazel Tov. That was Hebrew wishing you the best of health and congratulations.

Dr. Claire Finn & Isaac (In Unison):
Thank you

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number seven

7) About A Girl, Sanctuary, A Tale Of Two Topas, and Midnight Blue
(Cut to clips of the episodes as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Talk about a storyline that was well timed throughout the series so far. Topa was hatched at the end of the second episode, and according to Moclan society, if a baby is born a girl, she has to have surgery that changes them into a male. While Bortus and his mate Klyden played by Chad L. Coleman, are initially on board to continue the tradition. Many on board were horrified by this callous attitude towards Topa's existence. When of all things, John Lamarr and Gordon Malloy decide to bring a six-pack, and the Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer tv special Bortus gains clarity about Topa being different. Things are different because we discover Klyden bought the lie as it was discovering that Klyden was born female, went through the surgery, and thought he would have a better life. We also discover that Moclus is a weapon-manufacturing planet, saying, "We're in this union; you need our weapons." We also discover that their most well-known philosopher and author is female. However, whatever happened failed to keep Topa from fate. We soon find the philosopher Heveena, played by Rena Owen, disillusioned to the point where she leaves Moclus to set up a colony planet that has its own underground railroad for the females that would be free for them. And we soon discover that Heveena, on a reason to keep the planet safe listened to Dolly Parton and inspired her with the strength and courage to fight for their colony. In the most recent season, Topa discovers the truth and decides that for Topa to be free, he becomes the girl she was meant to be. With that, we move on to Midnight Blue. Dolly Parton guest stars! That is the biggest reason for this episode to be on the list. But this episode is crucial as Topa decides to help the colony planet. She's then captured and tortured by Moclans as a traitor on Moclus, helping the colony planet. Bortus and Kelly Grayson rescue Topa. However, after seeing Topa looking like crap, Bortus decides to beat the fothermucker who hurt Topa within an inch of his life. Showing what has happened to the Union. Moclus is forced out of the union. And after a long time away, Klyden finally accepts Topa as his daughter. With the three eventually renouncing their citizenship to their home planet.  These episodes were so great, and the storyline had been well-timed throughout the series run that if this is how the storyline ends for Topa, I was well entertained, and the episodes have done a great job in storytelling as great as a soap opera. And of course, DOLLY PARTON! If you can get Dolly Parton and have her inspire the galaxy, then it deserves to be on this list.

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number six

6) Old Wounds
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It kind of stinks that I put the pilot in the number six slot as it does set the series and our characters up. But in terms of series pilots, it's one of the best I've seen. After his wife cheats on him with a blue alien, Ed Mercer's career hits the skids. it's up to Admiral Halsey, played by Victor Garber, to help him out of his year-long funk by giving Ed one last chance to get back on track by giving him The Orville. Discovering that his ex-wife is now his XO, he tries to be professional even if their first conversation as Captain and XO becomes so loud that I think everyone on earth in my time heard them! But after an encounter between them and the Krill, they discover they work better as a Captain and XO better than husband and wife. Even though, at the end of the episode, we discover that Kelly got Ed the Captain's chair as an act of atonement for what she did. It was possibly some of the best sci-fi I had seen since the Star Trek series and movies of the 1990s. Granted, it had its few stumbles; if you have seen it, it is nice to see what can start so small and become something bigger.

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number five

5) Gently Falling Rain
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
On the eve of peace between The Krill and The Planetary Union, Teleya, played by Michaela McManus, takes the chancellor's throne, effectively ending all hope for peace. The delegates from the Planetary Union are now being prepared for execution, one of them being the Planetary Union's president, played by Babylon 5's Bruce Boxleitner. Even more shocking is the fact that Ed has a daughter, Anaya, and Teleya is her mom. Though she denies it to the populace for fear of losing her power. And just for the record, Teleya is doing this because Ed hurt her by saving her and innocent children on a reconnaissance mission he had in season one. Talk about gratitude. While Ed is hopeful to see his daughter again and regain some sort of peace between the Krill and The Union. By the end of the episode, you can tell Teleya was going to use her daughter as a political tool, and all hopes for peace have been destroyed for now. As for what the future holds? Maybe, one day, both sides will regain the peace they lost, and Ed can hopefully make up for the lost time when Anaya's mom decided that power meant more than peace because her pride was hurt. 

(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And for those who use your children for devious reasons, I say SHAME ON YOU! SHAME ON ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR CALLOUS AND CAVALIER ATTITUDES TOWARDS CHILDREN! YOU DON'T DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE PARENTS! GO TO HELL! ALL OF YOU! YOU'RE SCUM! And to Teleya, if you are seeing this in your cell, let me say the following, You're a scaly bitch! If not for the fact you have limbs and an acute aversion to sunlight, you'd be no different from a SNAKE! Cold-blooded, vicious, and without conscience! And I hope AVIS condemns you to the Krill equivalent of hell! (Sighs, then regains his calm) Before I get to number four, there is something I need to talk about, the content of the episode. It talks about social media. I should say the following about Social Media. I use Social Media as a tool to promote my work and connect with my family and friends. Very rarely do I ever talk about, Politics or the society we live in and talk about it in any way on Social Media. Even rarer is when I use Social Media for fun! Social Media used properly is meant to connect us all together. With that said... (Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number four

4) Majority Rule
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The crew is on a mission on the planet Sargas 4 to find missing anthropologists. What they find is the planet's society being run by Social Media. Imagine if MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and every other form of Social Media became the governing body of an entire planet. And if you get a certain amount of downvotes, well, you wind up lobotomized, and your I.Q. is equal to spaghetti.

Isaac (Audio only):
There is a race known as The Spaghetti in the Union. Are you talking about them?

TLOTA (V.O.):
I'm talking about the dried pasta, Isaac. But I digress; Lamarr finds himself in a situation of his own mistakes as he winds up getting into trouble with the planet as he faces lobotomization for well his grinding. Alara Kitan nearly finds herself in Lamarr's predicament and avoids it barely, but the team sent to investigate is met with an ordinary member of Sargas 4's society who helps rescue Lamarr from winding up with Spaghetti for intelligence. Lysella, played by Giorgia Whigham, creates a promotional campaign to save Lamarr his fate. Lysella would return to The Orville in the latest episode, tired of being part of her planet's society. This episode highlights in its own way how blindly siding with what is popular on social media will turn your humanity off. Following those that Social Media says you should or must because they're the popular thing right now or having Social Media tell you to shun or crucify someone because Social Media tells you to do it. Doing what social media tells you without your conscience telling you to do otherwise can eventually erode away your humanity. Blindly saying yes to this or no to that because everyone else is doing it. And lest we forget those who have been lobotomized! If they weren't found guilty, they would have been able to take Sargas 4 to the stars. But we'll never know because in a society that's been controlled by Social Media that said fricassee their brains because that's what we tell you to do is the answer for everything. And for those who got their minds reduced to (Making the Sargas 4 who got Lobotomized sound as they are): one plus one equals IPUTSTHESQUAREINTHEROUNDHOLE! (Talking normally): Their loved ones are now stuck caring for them forever. Sargas 4, you are so downvoted that I would gladly see EVERY SINGLE LAST PERSON THERE GET THEIR BRAINS REDUCED TO THE CONSISTENCY OF RICE PUDDING!!

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number three

3) Nothing On Earth Excepting Fishes
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
This one is a personal choice for me. For the first time in a long time since Ed and Kelly's divorce. Both are happy with new loved ones in their lives and their careers on the upswing.  Ed and Lt. Janel Tyler played by Michaela McManus, are a happy couple heading out on a vacation when the two are intercepted by a Krill fighter. Ed is doing everything it takes to survive when the truth about Janel Tyler's identity is exposed. Janel Tyler is, in fact, the Krill female Teleya he met on his reconnaissance mission to discover more about the Krill. She was sent in as a spy to learn more about The Planetary Union and get to Ed Mercer. She succeeded, and by the end of the episode, as Ed lets Teleya go, you can feel the pain Ed feels come through in the music from Billy Joel. The fact that this episode ended on such a somber note left me waxing introspective about my failures in the romance department. And if an episode can have me feeling that by the end, it is worthy of this list!

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Number two

2) Domino
(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Many people loved the new season, and this episode, The Penultimate episode of the season, sees the changing faces of the wars being raged. With Moclus now out of the Planetary Union, they turn to the Krill for an alliance. Meanwhile, Isaac has created a weapon using tech from another reformed Kaylon to create a device to wipe them all out. Helping Isaac out is Ensign Charley Burke, played by Anne Winters. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And from what I heard, the fandom didn't like her attitude towards Isaac, nor did they like Charley as a character. The fans considered her another Dawn Summers, Wesley Crusher, Adric from classic Doctor Who, Connor from Angel, or one of the many offenders of being the most annoying character in a series or franchise. But I liked her for what she was. She survived hell and is now on board with a creature representing all the evil she fought and killed those she loved. No wonder she was abrasive. And before anyone asks, she was a member of the LGBTQIA+ Community, and I am fine with that. (Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The weapon is, of course, successful, which leads to the type of discussions only heard about in recent years in the movies and series that talk about this in a frank and honest manner. To me, even though it was in defense of the Xelayan Homeworld. You can see on Seth MacFarlane's face that the results were devastating and disgusting!  Because this was something that Steve Rogers talked about in Captain America The Winter Soldier. Holding a weapon over your friends, enemies, and everyone else and calling it "Protection!" What The Union was doing wasn't protecting freedom. it was using fear; Terrorism at its most basic and beastly of concepts! Even worse, Admiral Perry, played by Ted Danson, betrays the Planetary Union by handing over the Kaylon Doomsday Device to the newly formed alliance. His reward? Being blasted into the depths of space and hell. A new alliance between the Kaylon and Union is forged to either recover or destroy the weapon. The battle is gloriously awesome to see. However, the final stand to either stop or destroy the device leads Charley to sacrifice herself to rescue everyone else. This act shows Kaylon Primary that not all biologicals are evil.  In the end, This leads to an alliance between The Kaylon and The Union, even opening the door for a possible membership for the Kaylon. And the most heart-wrenching moment came from Isaac, someone who Charley hated with a burning passion, who gave the most poignant and simple eulogy for her. This episode was the critical moment for cementing a new hope for everyone, a lingering threat for the Planetary Union, and so many more stories for seasons to come.

(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Now before I go to the number one spot, The episodes that are Honorable mentions are every other episode in the series that didn't make this list. They have their strong and weak points, and they were too good to be on this list. Now that I have said that, I give you all...

(Cut to the Planetary Union's Logo as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The number one BEST episode, So Far, Of The Orville...

1) Identity Parts 1 & 2

(Cut to clips of the episode as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
This episode raised the stakes for the series and set it up to be more than just a Sci-Fi Spoof of Star Trek. Isaac and Dr. Claire Finn have just gotten Ty & Marcus' approval for their relationship when mysteriously, Isaac collapses. What happened? Apparently, Isaac just shut down because according to the programming he had in him. He had enough information for The Kaylon to decide whether or not to join the union. However, Ty, the younger of the Finn Brothers, played by Kai Wener, discovers a dark secret that changes the game. The Kaylon murdered the organic life forms, which leads The Kaylon to take over The Orville and head for the earth to wipe every living thing out! And that was in part one! In Part two, Isaac makes a decision that shows where his true loyalty is, and it is not with his people, by saving Ty from extermination. Yaphit, played by the late Norm MacDonald, also steps up by getting into a Kaylon to shut it down; Kelly and Gordon take the chance to convince the Krill that the Kaylon are their enemies and they need to unite. After reclaiming the ship, Mercer contacts the Union and calling this battle The Orville's version of the Battle Of Wolf 359 is not entirely inaccurate, but if I were on YouTube and I could show the clips without copyright claims, I would play the battle with Sabotage by The Beastie Boys in it as well, it was that damned awesome! When The Krill come in to rescue them, it was the first time enemies could call themselves comrades in arms. And while yes, in the third season, Teleya screwed the pooch by becoming the Chancellor and saying there would be no way in hell between the warring races for peace. It looked like the seeds were sown for one brief, shining moment, hoping that a mutual enemy could make them see how much they were alike. As For Isaac, he was alone, now having to rebuild his reputation and rebuilding bonds that were broken when his people came to wipe us out. To say that this two-part episode was so imperative to the series' future is putting it mildly. It raised the stakes for the series. The development that came from this two-parter helped shape the next season, and if everyone is right, we're going to get more great battles and more great seasons to come, all because of enemies coming together to stop a common threat and hopes for peace were possible. 

(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And even though I put every other episode from the series in the Honorable mentions portion, if you want to tell me which of those episodes are your favorites. Let me know why in the comments section. Now, if I haven't made it clear enough, I LOVE THIS SERIES, AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, WHAT IN THE NAME OF SAMUEL LANGFORD HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! (Cut to clips of The Orville as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
You are straight up missing out on one of the best Sci-Fi series, not just in this century but since the advent of Sci-Fi! The writing is amazing! The acting is superb! The Production Value is used perfunctorily; everything about this series is PERFECT! Check it out on either Hulu or Disney+ and see Star Trek perfected in a way that Gene Roddenberry, at his most sensible, would be proud to call The Orville its spiritual successor! (Cut to James and everyone from The Orville)

Captain Ed Mercer:
As glad as I am to see you have enjoyed our adventures, You sounded very irritated about how certain episodes wound up. I mean, if you were trying to vent about the negatives in order to enjoy the positives, then I understand, and just so you're aware, we did our research while you were doing your thing. Things do get better for you. And for the record...

TLOTA:
You can't tell me! I understand! ORAC! Take care of them.

ORAC (Audio only):
I will do my best to assist the Planetary Union from where I am now. But you, your team, and I still have a long way to go. 

Lt. Cmdr. Bortus:
I must ask Why the events involving Topa and my family were at the Number 7 spot.

TLOTA:
In my culture, the number 7 is a good and lucky number.

Lt. Cmdr. Bortus:
In the Moclan culture, the number 7 is something you may not be aware of. 

TLOTA:
Guess So. I guess this is it. It has been a pleasure meeting all of you. (The environmental simulator doors open.) Guess this is goodbye. (Everyone says their goodbyes, and everyone walks away) Before you go, remember this, I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion! (James presses a button that shuts off the holographic connection in the Environmental Simulator. Cut to The Orville as it continues to fly through the stars. Fade To Black)

A "Speed" That's Cool Like Keanu

(Scene begins with different angles of different rooms slowly starting to light up as  04:44-07:33 of “A Good Man” by Murray Gold plays in the foreground intercut with a man driving to a building revealing it to be James’ Studio as a man walking up a flight of steps as he unveils the RoboKnight Morpher, opens it up and presses in the 428 code and is engulfed with light as the door opens the man is revealed to be James Faraci The Last Of The Americans sporting his new look with what can be considered a mix of Captain America’s “SHIELD” Winter Soldier shirt and the red and white stripes known to be on Sam Wilson's Captain America’s suit top and his carpenter blue jeans then addressing the people checking out his return to the studio)

TLOTA:
Before I begin, let me say the following, to the people who support and still check me out, Thank you. I appreciate you for everything you have done to support me. But to the PIECES OF GARBAGE THAT IS FORCING ME BACK INTO A BAD SITUATION, I SAY TO YOU, I HOPE YOU CATCH ON FIRE AND WHEN YOU DO SO, I HOPE YOU COME TO ME AND WHEN YOU COME I WILL HAVE WATER AND I WILL DRINK IT SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLY! SO THAT YOUR LAST PAINFUL SECONDS ON THIS ROCK WILL BE ME HAPPY YOU’RE GOING TO BURN WHILE I DRINK MY WATER. (“Moves Like Jagger” sound-alike plays in the foreground.) Op! No time to stay this angry because… (The background changes to outer space as James begins to Sing): You look at the Stars! And you see him, With his bright eyes of marble, he’ll make you believe, he cuts through deceit! He has some awards, No Oscars! He’s been here for so long, since the eighties, and with one “Whoa” I’m sure that you know, that he goes a little something like this! Watch him and he’ll show ya, Look him take control, yeah, you know because he’s cool like Keanu, Yeah! Yeah! He’s cool like Keanu! You know he’s Coo-ooo-ool like Keanu! I don’t even have to tell ya! Just watch him and You’ll know how to be Cool Like Keanu, know how to be Cool Like Keanu! Know how to be Coo-ooo-ool Like Keanu! (The ending five seconds of the “Moves Like Jagger” sound-alike play as James disintegrates into stars and reforms into a constellation that looks like Keanu Reeves’ face which becomes a still photo that zooms as it cuts to James cleaning the dust out of his office.)

TLOTA:
You’ll have to forgive me, I have to clean an entire studio, months of dust and well… enough complaining, I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are that of my own and (Sneezes) Some of yours. Let’s talk about Keanu Reeves! (Cut to clips of different Keanu Reeves as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
And to be fair, he’s had a run of critical and commercial highs and lows whether he’s had indie successes that brought audiences in or critically successful movies that couldn’t draw an audience or vice versa, Keanu has had one hell of a career starting in the mid-1980s with tv and smaller roles in movies before gaining success in movies like “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures” and “My Private Idaho”, he’s gone on to be a dependable character actor and has become an icon in acting naturally no matter what the role is. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Even if the role is that of a Plainclothes Sergeant officer in the debut of the director whose previous works in Cinematography in movies like “Die Hard” “The Hunt For Red October”, “Basic Instinct”, “Lethal Weapon 3”, “Flatliners”, & “Black Rain” and whose later direction works include (Show posters of “Twister”, “Speed 2: Cruise Control”,  the 1999 “The Haunting” remake & “Laura Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life. Cut to James physically as he awkwardly smiles. Cut to the trailer title card of “Speed”. Cut to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O):
Uh…. I think it’s safe to say that if the circumstances were wrong this would’ve been boring as all get out. But to my surprise, it was entertaining and it brought to light a lot of great actors and has gone on to become a piece of 1990s awesomeness, even after a brief stint as something seen as something stupid. But after such a roller coaster ride to where it is now, did it need such a crazy ride? (Cut to James physically as he continues to clean the studio with a vacuum getting plugged in)

TLOTA:
Let’s not waste any time, strap yourself in and get ready, This is “Speed”! (Cut to scenes from the movie “Speed” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens as we see a mad Dennis Hopper… (Show moment of Dennis Hopper stabbing the security guard with a screwdriver.) Oh my bad, it’s just Dennis on a Tuesday! As a group of 13 people in an elevator THANKFULLY NOT POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL are caught as Dennis sets off a bomb to get three million dollars. Enter Harry played by Jeff Daniels and Jack played by of course Keanu Reeves both work at the SWAT Bomb disposal detail as they look over the situation, Jack decides to call on his inner MacGyver to create a temporary remedy to get everyone off the elevator. Harry then deducts that this was a close job and tries and finds Dennis in the maintenance elevator…OH SH….! (A thud is heard as it cuts to James on his back with a mop in his hands)

TLOTA:
Yeah, I goofed, I tried to do too much in one moment! OW! And before I get god knows how many comments, I know the character is named “Howard Payne” speaking of pain, I’m hurting like nobody’s business! (Cut to scenes from the movie “Speed” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Howard Payne has Harry held captive but a shot in the leg remedies that situation but as for Howard? Well, it looks like he bit it which gets Harry promoted and Jack commended. The next day Jack is enjoying some downtime with his bus driving buddy when a bomb stops the good time. Howard calls Jack and says the lines this movie is most known for (Show clip of Howard saying “Pop Quiz, Hot Shot. There’s a bomb on a bus, Once the bus goes fifty miles per hour, the bomb is armed if it drops below fifty, it blows up. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?”. Cut to James physically as he is getting rid of the few rotten pieces of food and proceeds to clean the refrigerator with a pressure washer)

TLOTA:
Well, according to the new rules and laws as made by this President. (James pulls out a book and preps to read it). “Smile and say goodbye, we must become ineffective in the fight against evil, let the criminals get away with the crime, you’ll be out of pain soon and your deaths will never be given justice because we would rather make those who protect and uphold the law into wussies who cannot protect anyone because the criminals have rights and crime is right!” Yeah, you guys voted for this! OY GEVALT! (Cut to scenes from the movie “Speed” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jack is told by Payne which bus the bomb is on which just so happens to have onboard Captain Harriman of the U.S.S. Enterprise B, Kitty Farmer from “Donnie Darko”, and of course American Sweetheart Sandra Bullock. (Cut to James as he puts another load of laundry into the Washer)

TLOTA:
Though she just got done with “Demolition Man” and this was before she was in the Romantic Comedies and of course “Miss Congeniality” and the sequel which I think showed her comedic range and of course when she won the Academy Award for “The Blind Side” but yeah, she’s more than earned it. (Cut to scenes from the movie “Speed” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jack bolts like a bat out of hell to reach the bus but as he gets there, the driver pushes the bus to nearly fifty. Commandeering a guy’s Jaguar driver and all to help him get on board and this happens (Cut to the clip of the Jaguar owner as he hits the stopping barrels at the exit of the freeway. Cut to James as he begins boxing up stuff out of Alex’s Office.)

TLOTA:
That’s nothing, you should see what happened to the driver after him.

(Cut to the Goofy Driver’s Ed short “Freewayphobia” at the 14:24 mark, cut to the 14:42-14:54 mark of the same short. As the scene fades to black, it then cuts to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the 0:36 Mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James fully morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings “The Last Of The Americans”. Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jack makes it on board the bus and identifies himself as L.A.P.D. and tries to gently inform the passengers on the bus of the situation at hand when a paranoid passenger accidentally shoots the driver and well… (Show clip of Jack as he explains the situation to the passengers that there is a bomb on the bus and that because it’s at over fifty miles per hour it won’t blow. The moment it drops below that, the bomb explodes. Cut to James as he tries to scrape Alex’s name off the door.)

TLOTA:
So yeah, Mart moves there Rocket Skyentist in shooting the guy who could keep the bus at a constant fifty-five miles per hour and safe until the situation could be resolved. Who’s going to drive it now? (Cut to the clip of Annie as she gets behind the wheel and admits she doesn’t have a driving license because she was speeding. Cut to James physically) Okay, that was kind of funny. Which now must be offset by this moment. ORAC! Are you active and online?

ORAC (Audio only):
Active and online, I take it you are cleaning up from the months of disuse.

TLOTA:
Yep, And right now, I need you to contact my Glasier!

ORAC (Audio only):
May I ask, why? (James shatters the window with Alex’s name)

TLOTA:
That’s why! (James sighs as it cuts to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Meanwhile, Harry gets called by Jack to let them know that their mad bomber is back and what his new plan is, and the bomb’s design which has enough explosives to wipe California off the map and with the possible exception of a few people, I hope the bomb blows and takes that whole state off the map. Harry somehow puts together on somethings that were in conversations past, such as the fact as changes in the explosive materials, and the usage of this bomb of a Gold Watch! Harry hears the words and wants to check out the history of retired cops! Meanwhile, Jack gets a call from the bomber and lets him know about the wounded Bus Driver, Jack’s fellow Bomb Squad/Negotiation squad gets the Driver off however one passenger tries to join him but… (Cut to the clip of The steps on the bus exploding and the Passenger is killed and Howard talking about Interactive TV is the wave of the future. Cut to James as he opens up a drink after finalizing the clean up on the Horseshoe couch)

TLOTA:
For that poor crazy woman who lost her life trying to survive! (The drink spills out on the floor on the rug.) DAMN IT! Where’s the Rug Shampooer? (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
As the surviving passengers continue to hold on to the little bit of hope left they soon discover that there is a good-sized chunk of the Highway is incomplete. What to do? After such moments like shifting everyone to one side so that way it can safely turn in corners? Have everyone drop down on their knees, put their heads between their legs, and hope to god it’s not to kiss their asses goodbye! If that works, it’d be a miracle. (Show the jump of the Bus as the “Dixie” horn from The Dukes Of Hazzard plays in the foreground and lands. Cut to James as he finishes cleaning up his private office and pulls out a sign with the number 10 on it! Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Meanwhile, Harry discovers who Howard Payne is and where he might be. Before heading out to grab him, Harry helps Jack try and dismantle the bomb which doesn’t end well as everything that can go wrong short of the bomb blowing up happens as every trick in the book to dismantle the bomb goes belly up! What else can go wrong? (Show clip of Jack hitting the gas tank as he’s pulled into the bus. Cut to James as he stands outside his work office in full decontamination gear)

TLOTA:
Well, open mouth, insert foot while getting my ass kicked! (James opens the door, cleaning gear and guns blazing, and screaming, cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
While that happens Harry and an entire squad of officers in full tactical gear go to where Howard is supposedly is when… (Cut to the alarm going off as Harry stares at it) It was in that moment Jeff Daniels would realize that after this movie and “Dumb and Dumber” he would regret every career movement he’d ever make! (Show the explosion killing the entire squad. Cut to James as he prepares every single piece of garbage and soaks it in Gasoline then ignites it.)

TLOTA:
A moment of silence for Jeff Daniels’ career after this movie and Dumb & Dumber! (James lowers his head and places his hand over his heart for five seconds) Sorry, Jeff! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Payne tells Jack about his partner’s passing and Jack handles it well as a sociopathic bomb happy lunatic laughs maniacally at him.  (Jack smashes the phone, then discovers Annie’s Satchel is about the University Of Arizona and that their sports team is the “Wildcats” and comes to his conclusions.) Realizing that somehow Payne is watching them on a closed-circuit video frequency, Jack comes up with the idea that maybe if they record enough of everyone on the bus sitting still then run it on the video frequency on a loop, they can get everyone off and the bomb can go off with no one on board. A nice idea however with them running low on gas, they have no choice but to run a minute’s worth off footage as the rest of Jack’s team gets the hostages off and Jack and Annie well… (Cut to the clip of Jack and Annie as they slide out of the bus just as the bus goes kerblammo! Annie talks about how relationships that are based on intense experiences never work out. Cut to James Physically, finally after cleaning every cubic inch of the office, exhausted from cleaning the entire Studio.)

TLOTA:
WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT?! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Just as Annie is introduced to Jack’s superiors, Jack’s C.O. reminds him about the mad bombing asshole, the guy who killed his partner, the ransom, you know the unimportant stuff that has to be taken care of, THAT has to take precedent and Jack is like “Oh yeah!” but I’m sure Jack is professional enough not to… (Show clip of Annie in the middle of the situation again as James cries “YOU SON OF A BITCH IDIOT! ARGH!” then sighs and relaxes) Well this ends as you’d suspect as Payne grabs Annie, the ransom from under the garbage bag is taken and plants a bomb on Annie! Howard runs into a subway car as Jack follows in hot pursuit of Payne, Payne tries to bribe Jack when the dye packs in the money go kaboom! What’s wrong Howard? Upset when a bomb is harmless and explodes in your face! (Show clip of Howard losing it, shooting everything in sight! Cut to a blank table as bullets ricochet off everything)

TLOTA (Audio only):
It’s a good thing I coated the paint in Kevlar and Titanium otherwise I’d be in real danger! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Jack and Payne square off one more time as Payne realizes there can only be one! (Show clip of Howard Payne as he loses his head, literally! Cut to the rest of the movie as James continues his voiceover.) Discovering that the only way to stop is to speed through the track which is not finished either, Geez California your state sucks! I digress the subway car hits the surface and stops on a tour van and that’s where the movie ends. Annie and Jack end up in love, Payne is in Hell being blown to bits, Harry after dying being reincarnated to a man named Harry Dunne and there is a sequel that was so bad it sank and I ain’t touching it with a friggin’ iceberg! (Cut to James in his office.)

TLOTA:
So that was “Speed” was it good? Yeah. Was it exciting? Yeah. Was it well written? Not always. Was it a fun ride? YOU BET YOUR ASS! (Cut to clips of “Speed” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
This is the Textbook definition of Popcorn Action Adventure! The story while not perfect flowed well to get to some awesomely amazing moments. Keanu, Sandra, and Dennis Hopper steal the movie in their performances, and this is probably the reason people still watch this movie. The number of practical effects is a joy to watch, is it perfect? Far from it. But if you’re in the right mood for something with the right abundance of fun dumb, action, adventure and comedy then this is the movie for you. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And there are two more movies on my schedule for us to see how Cool Keanu Reeves is as he goes toe to toe with the prince of darkness himself! I’m… (Lights turn on and off as it appears that everything has been bathed in a dark blue light James is now on the horseshoe couch in the lobby on a Canted Angle as the First twenty-eight seconds of “The Master Vainglorious” by Murray Gold plays in the foreground.) In the Lobby! (James looks around until he looks in the chair next to him as it looks like he’s face to face with himself sitting on a throne.) What…The…Literal…Definition…Of…Hell?! (Scene fades to Black)

The Top Five "Good" Shia LaBeouf performances.

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2016 calendar year of his reviews ranging from James morphing into his new suit for the first time, James getting slapped by Paulo, Mr. B Natural pop jump cutting into frame as James grabs Rowdy & The Nostalgia Kid as they scream in terror, Traci Hines shooting the Double Barreled handgun, Everyone trying to stop Eliza Dushku from using her switchblade knife on an unconscious Spoony,  James blast jumps and Eliza rolls out of the way as an electrical pulse knocks out everyone else before cutting to the clip of The Moviebusters pulling out their Proton Pack blasters until the 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows the team line-up of the majority of 2015 walking towards the screen as the camera rises over to see the American Flag and James’ signal in the sky as before cutting to James as he jumps and pulls out a sonic screwdriver before cutting over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, Andrew Beach, John Santos & Eric Kurtzke on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Ed Champion, Olivia Horvath, Renee Miller and Mike Santos on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his Office)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and…. (James Opens the Door to his office to the hallway outside) IT’S THE FOURTH ANNIVERSARY! (The Camera pans back to see the entire team with party streamers, Confetti before cutting to a fireworks and Ode To Joy play in the background before cutting to James and everyone in the hallway)

TLOTA: And guess what, It’s our first full original content for our new bosses at Manic Expression! So, this time we’ll let our audience choose the movie we should review. Should we… (Cut to an image of the team dressed as characters of a movie currently in theaters as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): A) Recreate a movie while doing a review! (Sparse clapping is heard before cutting to an image of the team dressed as characters of a movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): B) Do a review of a movie everyone likes and I could recommend watching. (Less Sparse clapping is heard before cutting to an image of the team dressed as characters of a movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): C) Do a review of a movie no one likes and I like. (Even less Sparse clapping is heard before cutting to an image of the team dressed as characters of a movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Or D) Something involving Shia LaBeouf! (Wild applause and clapping is heard before cutting to James as he looks through the video library)

TLOTA: I knew you would make me do something featuring him. Now to pick out one that features Shia that doesn’t involve Crystal Skulls or Transformers so… (James scats silently until he finds what he’s looking for and Nick shouts FORE off screen and several DVD cover falls out of the library and James picks them up)

TLOTA: Okay so there are a few choices for me to chose from. So we're going to check out these five out and we'll see which one we can find the one we can get the most review material for.  (James hits play on the remote on the DVD player before cutting to black and the words "Five Movies Later" appear on-screen before cutting to everyone being carted off to the funny farm save for James.)

TLOTA: See you guys next month! So Yeah! I didn't think that they could handle five movies featuring Shia LaBeouf but after watching so many of his movies, who knew I'd find of all things five movies where he'd shine as a star?! (Cut to clips of Shia LaBeouf movies as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): That's not to say I'll ever fully like EVERYTHING in the movies he's in or say he's a good actor. The truth still remains he as an actor is HORRENDOUS! But if history is any indicator he'll be in the straight to DVD Z-Grade movies in a few years. (Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA: So it is with that in mind and I PRAY for forgiveness from the Cinema gods on this one with the Top 5 "Good" performances of... Just play the intro, I can't physically say it (Cut to Shia LaBeouf as his face spins in the center of a hypnowheel as the chorus to "Combine Harvester" plays as it shows clips of Shia LaBeouf actually acts or comes close to it before the words The Top Five Good Performances of Shia LaBeouf before it fades away and the number comes up and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Five

5) Bobby

TLOTA (Voiceover): In this bio-pic of Bobby Kennedy Shia plays a character named Cooper who while on an acid trip was trying to assist Bobby Kennedy before his assassination in the Ambassador Hotel. While Critics ravaged the movie. I personally found the movie more engaging and more entertaining than Oliver Stone's JFK movie ever could be. Emilio Estevez shows he has the ability to make an awesome movie and in turn make Shia an actor. Who knew that was possible? But he was able to put out a good performance in a better movie that JFK. A good start to a good set of performances in this countdown.

(Cut to Shia LaBeouf as his face spins in the center of a hypnowheel as the chorus to "Combine Harvester" plays as it shows clips of Shia LaBeouf actually acts or comes close to it before the number comes up and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Four

4) Holes

TLOTA (Voiceover): His first big project since Even Stevens ended. Shia plays Stanley Yelnats the fourth cursed with bad luck he's falsely arrested for stealing sneakers meant to be sold to charity and sentenced to a summer detention camp where they make the prisoners dig holes and anything they find gets them a day off. In the meanwhile Stanley befriends the ancestor of the person who cursed his entire family generations ago and through the course of the movie Shia's performance stands out in what could've been just another kiddie movie into one of Disney's good live action movies but that's not saying much. Most of Disney's Live Action Movies are hit or miss depending on which movies you like.

(Cut to Shia LaBeouf as his face spins in the center of a hypnowheel as the chorus to "Combine Harvester" plays as it shows clips of Shia LaBeouf actually acts or comes close to it before the number comes up and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Three

3) The Company You Keep

TLOTA (Voiceover): Shia plays a young reporter who discovers a well respected lawyer in Albany played by Robert Redford and the further Shia goes into the subject the further he sees how dark his subject's past is involving murder and domestic terrorism and believe it or not Shia LaBeouf can do something I never thought possible he underplayed his role and it worked towards Shia's performance. Not hurting the performance is the fact is Robert Redford produced and directed this movie so Shia probably had to straighten up and fly right and when he did that, Shia actually performed less like what we knew him for and actually found himself giving a decent performance.

(The sound of a brick hitting glass is heard before cutting to James physically as he looks out the window and the thought "PANTS TO BE DARKENED" is coming to his mind before turning to the audience)

TLOTA: And now I need to take a break because I think I hear an angry mob of my fellow Internet Reviewers...(The audio of Asalieri screaming "STRING HIM UP BY HIS PO-POS AND WHACK HIM LIKE A PINATA!" is heard) Okay I stand corrected it IS an angry mob of my fellow Internet Reviewers ready to put me out to pasture!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and return to James shouts off screen "Alright I promise! Now please Disperse! Put away the Pitchforks, Torches, Shotguns and every other weapon you have!" before James returns his office)

TLOTA: Okay, now that I have avoided an internet lynching and public bobitizing let's get back to work!

(Cut to Shia LaBeouf as his face spins in the center of a hypnowheel as the chorus to "Combine Harvester" plays as it shows clips of Shia LaBeouf actually acts or comes close to it before the number comes up and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Number Two

2) "Just Do It"

TLOTA (Voiceover): Yeah, this internet video of him ranting and raving about doing something, ANYTHING you want to is actually as far as I'm concerned is one of his better performances. He tries to sound try to hardcore but dude the guy is funny. Possibly better than his daytime Emmy award winning award winning role of Louis Stevens. He went so far off the rails he actually got me a smile is actually worthy of being worthy of being good enough to be put on this list so give a watch and (Shia shouts "JUST DO IT!" before cutting to James physically)

TLOTA: Okay, Fine! Let's get to...  

(Cut to Shia LaBeouf as his face spins in the center of a hypnowheel as the chorus to "Combine Harvester" plays as it shows clips of Shia LaBeouf actually acts or comes close to it before the number comes up and James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): The Number one "Good" performance of Shia LaBeouf is...

1) The Greatest Game Ever Played

TLOTA (Voiceover): Shia LaBeouf plays Francis Ouimet the first amateur golfer to win the U.S. Open in 1913 and he had to face it while everyone looked at him as trash for not being a rich person to play. You see Golf was different back in 1913 and how do I know this? I had help guess who watched this movie with me?!

(Cut to Nick and Rebecca Yaun talking about Golf and the facts about Francis Ouimet as James nods and writes down the notes from the movie and then Nick and Rebecca adding more notes before James' seat in the couch collapses and the couch folds in on itself and launching Nick towards the back room and Rebecca towards the front door and all three say "Ow!" before cutting back to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): What surprised me was that Shia actually put that manic energy instead of acting like a over hyper active four year old partly due to the late Bill Paxton directing this one. I guess he was able to connect to Shia and made him able to focus on putting a good performance and it shows! He actually connected to audiences and critics. He did so good even I'll admit he put out a Good enough of a performance to make it the Number one "Good" Performance of Shia LaBeouf's career. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And those are the only Good performances of Shia LaBeouf and after four years I think I've tapped the Shia LaBeouf well dry and I think that might be a good thing! (Cut to past clips of James talking about Shia LaBeouf as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Because honestly while I'll never believe he can earn an academy award for his acting. Talking about what has now been considered a dead horse for a while can be grueling and believe it or not I don't hate the guy personally his movies can be a chore to get through and while I hope he eventually does learn how to fully act, I'm not gonna hold my breath as I move forward  in my career. But for now, Shia whatever you do in your life PLEASE do it well enough that it doesn't involve Hollywood for a while anyways. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion! (Cut to James as he's working on the next review as Rebecca Yaun knocks on his door.)

TLOTA: It's open Rebecca! (Cut to Rebecca as she opens the door and sits down in front of James.)

Rebecca Yaun: How did you know it was me?

TLOTA: Well you, Olivia and Brenda are the only ones who knock. Listen, I've been hearing from a couple of others that you might be well no other way of saying it Jealous of Felicia.

Rebecca Yaun: I'm not jealous of her. I'm worried for you. The first time you were in a relationship it didn't end well, the second time, Heck every relationship ended for you in heartbreak! I just didn't want it to happen to you again. Now you obsess over her, that letter behind you and I am afraid for you.

TLOTA: Rebecca, I have parents and siblings who are disapproving of me and Felicia. The last thing I need are my friends acting the same.

Rebecca Yaun: But what exactly do you know about her? Nothing... AT ALL! You don't even know her last name, how old she is, who she is as a person, anything. For all you know she could be someone. James, all I'm asking is you take it slow, please! (Rebecca starts to walk away and James looks at the letter.)

TLOTA: She's had dreams. (Rebecca turns around)

Rebecca Yaun: Of What?

TLOTA: Water, Mermaids, and an Island.

Rebecca Yaun:  And you're thinking it's a sign. You are thinking Felicia is her.

TLOTA: I honestly don't know if it is her or not. Maybe it's coincidence, maybe it's not but I'm gonna play this one close to the chest. I have to, I'm getting on in years. You're married to Nick, Paulo is married to Brenda. The others... I try not to pry to far into everyone's lives but when I ask how are things with them, I mean well and I honestly do want to know what's going on with them but I try not to be too intrusive and try to keep out of their affairs unless they ask for my help. Otherwise, you know how I am.

Rebecca Yaun: And that's why I truly hope the best for you but I really am going to suggest you listen to us. We don't want to see you get hurt and when you get hurt, you dive into your work to numb the pain and when that happens everyone suffers. Please promise me that if it doesn't work out you'll find something else to fill in the time and we'll still do this and we keep it fun.

TLOTA: Okay, I promise. (James and Rebecca shake hands then hug on it and Rebecca walks out again.) Rebecca... (Rebecca turns around again) Thanks for looking out for me.

Rebecca Yaun: No problem. (Rebecca closes the door behind her as James goes back to work before James turns off the next review and James opens the picture of Felicia as the two are happy after going out for a dinner date at James' home as the two enjoy dinner and James has an inquisitive look on his face.)

TLOTA: ORAC, how long would it take before you could figure out if Felicia is her?

ORAC (Audio only): The exact time would be incalculable.

TLOTA: Well the second you do find out contact me. Even if I'm in the middle of a review.

ORAC (Audio only): Wouldn't it be considered bad etiquette to do so?

TLOTA: I'll check it out during the break. Otherwise start working on it. (James looks as the letter and Emmalina's amulet reacts to the photo of Felicia .) Who are you Felicia?  

The Big 3: Epilogue

(Fade to James sitting down looking normal and Eliza Dushku slack jawed and eyes bugging out of her head)

Eliza Dushku: Oh…my…God!

TLOTA: Well, I hope You now have a better knowledge of who I am and can now enjoy the ride a little more.

Eliza Dushku: Actually…no!

TLOTA: NO?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO?!

Eliza Dushku:  YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY NO! OKAY, HERE IS WHAT I MEAN. FOR EVERY ANSWER I GOT AND EVERY BIT OF INFORMATION I DISCOVER IT LEADS ME TO ASK TWO MORE QUESTIONS AND DIG EVEN FURTHER. YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE TYPES OF MYSTERIES THAT’S LIKE ATLANTIS, BIGFOOT, THE LOCH NESS MONSTER. A QUESTION WITHOUT ANSWERS. And I can’t understand you or understand things about you like “The Wicked” or “Caliverti” or why no one remembers anything connecting you to Lea Michele? (The Sad Man With A Box plays in the background as James sighs sadly)

TLOTA: Okay. You want to know everything. You got it. Follow Me! (James walks towards ORAC’s Chamber’s back wall as the panel opens up and James Shows Her the Gem from The Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand and The Bracelet it’s on, The Ring of Aeon, The Sword of Caliverti & Emmalina’s Amulet.)

Eliza Dushku: What is this?

TLOTA (Audio only): Just somethings I accumulated in my travels. (Cut to James at a vault)

TLOTA: And Some memories I keep to remind me of what my life should’ve been. (James opens the vault and uses his Sonic Screwdriver to disengage the safety protocols on Lea Michele’s Sonic Screwdriver before turning to Eliza.)

TLOTA: In one brief moment, you’ll discover it all.

Eliza Dushku: What is it you’re going to do to me?

TLOTA: You’ll know. You will finally know the answers you’re looking for. (James Grabs the Bracelet and The Ring.) ORAC, Are You Ready?

ORAC (Audio only): Affirmative. (James touches the Bracelet and The Ring together to create a power surge from the two combining hitting Lea Michele’s Sonic Screwdriver which got redirected to James’ Sonic Screwdriver which bounces off Emmalina's Amulet, The Sword Of Caliverti then ORAC which redirects to Eliza Dushku before everything turns white.)

TLOTA (Audio only): I am James Faraci and I am The Last Of The Americans! (Cut to Eliza’s eyes opening as images from Past reviews and Past collaborations with Channel Awesome flash on the screen before cutting to Eliza Dushku landing on the rest of Team TLOTA as she’s flung out of the Chamber and James tries to catch up to her.)

TLOTA: Eliza, guys! Are you okay?

Rebecca Yaun: We’re fine!

Nick Yaun: Just tell us next time someone around here goes flying!

Paulo Fonseca: Aw I think my shoulder got dislocated.

John Santos: Speak for yourself, I smelt her feet. Two words for ya! FOOT POWDER!

Mike Santos: Well it’s nice to know she can still throw a punch. Just wish it didn’t land on my face.

Eric Kurtzke: She got me in the Kurtzkes with her forehead if you catch the drift.

Traci Hines: I landed face first into a wall and now I’m seeing tweeting birds. (The musical cues from the last two and a half minutes “Hell Bent” plays as Eliza Dushku regains consciousness)

TLOTA: Eliza. ELIZA!  SAY SOMETHING!  

Eliza Dushku: Oh my god! James, you poor son of a bitch. You sacrificed so much to save so many and yet for all that you’ve accomplished… for all you’ve achieved… for everything you’ve done, you feel as if you are going to amount to nothing in the grand scheme of things. (Eliza kisses James) Today that all changes! You deserve better and you are going to get it! (Eliza grabs James’ Megaforce Morpher and gives James his card back and uses her Sonic Screwdriver to build a better Morpher for the card to adapt to and adjusting the suit to match accordingly before handing it over to James as he sees the Morpher looks like the Robo Knight’s Robo Morpher then cutting to James being shown the new Morpher)

Eliza Dushku: Put the card in here, press 428 on the pad and close for the basic mode. I also updated the suit, the card will match after the first morph!

(James slides the card in to and presses 428 to activate it as James morphs into his new suit which includes a long sleeved with the American Flag designed on it, Cargo Jeans and Tan Work Boots.)

TLOTA: Like The Look? (As everyone looks at James’ new outfit and gives him the thumbs up giving James a confident smile as he takes a heroic pose.)

TLOTA: Well then let's get to work!

"The Force" Analyzed

(The opening text of A Long Time Ago in a Theater far, far away appears then cuts to the words “The Last Of The Americans” in Star Wars Font style Text as it goes into the starry background the words “Episode LXXVIII” And under that is the words “The Force Analyzed” then in text the first verse is seen “The Force Awakens revived the Star Wars Franchise. James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and Eliza Dushku decide to check it out for James’ birthday. But as the two walk away from the theater the two are captured by the second in command of the new World order Highlo Bet as they are warped to another part of the galaxy they find a group of rebels as they have obtained the plans to the new World order’s most powerful weapon”. Then the second verse is seen “But all the while with the approval of the republic, A rebellion fleet led by a legend in the days of the old War is sent to find out what had happened and to see if they can find the plans to the new World order’s most powerful weapon.” Then the third verse is seen “The fate of the new World order and the galaxy and the Star Wars now rest in the hands of a few in order to save us all.” Before cutting to a Super Star destroyer then to the bridge of the Super Star Destroyer where Highlo Bet played by Paulo Fonseca stands looking as fire colored lens flares are engulfing the front windows as James & Eliza are being forcibly brought to him with General Nux played by Nick Yaun.)

Gen. Nux: Lord Bet, I believe these are the two you called upon.

Highlo Bet: Yes, do you have their weapons?

Gen. Nux: Yes, my lord.

Highlo Bet: So the two of you are the last to see “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” and you (Cuts to James being forcibly flung to Highlo Bet and then made to kneel.) From what intelligence has gathered you are an Internet Reviewer, so tell me honestly, what did you think of “The Force Awakens”? And What Is your Associate saying?

TLOTA (Grunting while talking): You want to know? Simple DELTA… (Cut to the Sonic Screwdrivers powering up before cutting to Eliza Dushku)

Eliza Dushku: LEVEL… (Cut to the bottom of James’ boots as he clicks to reveal repulsar jet exhaust vents before cutting to James)

TLOTA (Grunting while talking): DEFENSE! (The Sonic Screwdrivers emit an electrical pulse that knock out everyone save for James who blast jumps off of Highlo Bet and Eliza Dushku who kicks out of the grasp of the new World order Stormtrooper and rolls out of the way. The Song “Up The Shard” from the 0:00 through the 1:31 mark by Murray Gold plays in the background as James grabs the Sonic Screwdrivers as he and Eliza run throughout the Super Star Destroyer eventually meeting up with Jol Methadone played by John Santos & Tenn played by Nicholas Markin over a large vent over the hangar bay.)

TLOTA & Eliza Dushku: Howdy!

Jol & Tenn: Hello. (The four try to shake hands but are interrupted as a laser blast hits the wall as they cut to a first person perspective to see that they’re surrounded by troopers of the new World order.)

TLOTA (Audio only): Great! Surrounded by Bowling pins who can’t shoot worth a damn and our only way out is down. (Cut to the four back to back)

TLOTA: Anybody got an idea or a reasonable facsimile of one thereof?

Eliza Dushku: I do! (Eliza Dushku pulls out her Sonic Screwdriver and aims it at the corners of the panel.) Everyone get ready to fall! (The four fall out of frame as it cuts to see the four fall through a vent as James notices that the other vent opening is closed and pulls out his Sonic Screwdriver to remedy the situation. As the scene cuts to the four slam falling into the hangar bay.)

Tenn: This way. (The four find a TIE fighter and James looks to the left of the TIE fighter)

TLOTA: Never thought I’d be glad to see this. (The two groups run as the scene cuts to James’ Time Space Device going with a TIE Fighter as Tenn & Jol in the cockpit of the stolen TIE Fighter contacts James and Eliza)

Jol Methadone: Hey Guys…! (Cut to James and Eliza in James’ Time Space device trying to outfly the enemy TIE Fighter)

TLOTA & Eliza: WE SEE IT! WE SEE IT! (Scene cuts to the TIE Fighter taking down Tenn’s fighter which knocks James Time Space Device into a spinning crash into a planet and the audio of James and Eliza scream as they crash land onto a desert and in a distance we see Tenn’s fighter land far away from them as the scene cuts to inside of James’ time space device which has fallen into disrepair)

TLOTA: ORAC! What happened?

ORAC (Audio only): We have crashed onto the planet KaKu! In addition, we do not have enough power for a trip back to earth for all of us.

TLOTA: Where’s the survival packs?

ORAC (Audio only): Under the main console. (James grabs two survival packs and James grabs Eliza Dushku escaping James’ Time Space Device as it dematerializes leaving the two in the middle of a sand dune as they hear an explosion in the background and Eliza wakes up groaning)

Eliza Dushku: Where are we?

TLOTA: Well, If there's a bright center to the universe, we're on the planet that it's farthest from. According to ORAC we’re on the planet Kaku.

Eliza Dushku: Really, Where’s ORAC and your Time and Space Device now.

TLOTA: Hopefully it’s back at the office and ORAC is giving the others instructions to repair and retrieve us. If not, our turkeys are cooked.

Eliza Dushku: Don’t you mean, Geese?

TLOTA: In my line of work, I deal in turkeys. (Cut to everyone else at James’ office surprised to see the time and space device)

Eric Kurtzke: Well, leave it to James to surprise us when we’re trying to surprise him! (Windshield swipe cut back to James and Eliza as James hands Eliza her Survival pack)

TLOTA: Here, it’s solar powered and the canteen can draw moisture from the air and make it drinkable water. Now let me see if I can find some sort of civilization nearby and if I’m lucky it’ll sound like… (James walks around in a circle while Sonic Screwdriver makes different noises until it makes the usual Sonic Screwdriver noise and James stops) This way. Follow me. (The two walks towards the camera)

TLOTA & Eliza Dushku (Singing): Over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go! HO! 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer if any of those happen to fall…. (Cut to the blazing hot sun overhead before cutting to the two continuing to sing.)

TLOTA & Eliza Dushku (Slurred singing): Two bottles of beer on the wall, two bottles of beer, if one of those bottles should happen to fall…. (The two take a swig from their canteens)

TLOTA & Eliza Dushku (Singing): IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Love a parade! The trampling of feet, the sound of the beat when I hear a drum! IIIIIIIIIIIII Love a parade! Whenever I hear the band, I just want to stand and cheer as they come! (James takes a deep breath sighing exhaustedly as the scene cuts to later in the day and the two are coming up over another sand dune.)

Eliza Dushku: We pass a service station that can serve us EVERY single thousand lightyears but when we really need one, we wind up walking our asses off!

TLOTA: Preaching to the choir, this is no way to run a planet that’s mostly desert! (The camera pans back as James laughs and we see two indigenous citizens of the planet KaKu)

Eliza Dushku (Audio only): What?

TLOTA (Audio only): We’re gonna die out here! (Cut to the indigenous citizens as they speak their language with the subtitles under the two “What a couple of assholes!” before cutting to the blazing overhead sun before cutting to see James and Eliza walking over yet another sand dune)

TLOTA: Taxi! Taxi!

Eliza Dushku: Oh god we’re dead! Our bodies are saying we’re alive but our brains are saying “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AND THE IDIOT NEXT TO YOU DOING?! LAY DOWN AND DIE ALREADY!”

TLOTA: Taxi! Here boy! Oh god we’re dead! Why can’t we die?! (Cut to yet another dune as James carries Eliza Dushku on his back)

TLOTA: Mommy! Mommy?! (James tumbles forward and Eliza Dushku falls off rolling forward towards a skeleton next to a Stormtrooper’s outfit.)

Eliza Dushku (Shouting): WHOA! HEY! HI! HOW ARE YOU?! HEY! (Cut to the two making it over yet another dune where a tent is and the two laugh insanely before falling down as a shadow comes over them as the scene circular wipe cuts to an hour later in which the two are under the shade of a tent and a strange woman played by Traci Hines treating them as James comes to.)

Strange woman: Hello

TLOTA: Hi, uh how long have me and my associate been out?

Strange woman: An hour. A friend of yours found you two on his way here. You were just about dead but he dragged both of you under my tent and took care of your poor health. Your feet were just abysmally wretched smelling and they were puffy. She on the other hand wasn’t as bad as yours.

TLOTA: Wait, wait, wait, who grabbed us?

Tenn (Audio only): I did. (Tenn walks into the tent)

TLOTA: Wait, you were in the TIE Fighter with that other guy. What happened to him?

Tenn: I don’t know. Last I saw my TIE Fighter it sank in the sand then exploded as for Jol, I don’t know what happened to him. Oh where are my manners, I’m Tenn and Her name is Tray!

TLOTA: Well, hello Tenn & Tray, I’m James and my associate is called …

Eliza Dushku: Eliza! A Pleasure to meet you bo … WHOA! James, The Blisters on your feet are the sizes of tubs! (James looks to see his feet have inflated to triple in size!)

TLOTA: YOWZA! ICE TUBS!

Tenn: Where?

TLOTA: In the pack! (Eliza opens James’ pack to get the Ice tubs and James places both of his feet in them and a whoosh of steam is unleashed as the ice evaporate and James’ feet come out with the skin peeling and shredded.)

TLOTA: EGADS! Haven’t been this surprised since “The Force Awakens”

Tray: Surprised how?

TLOTA: Surprised that it’s a reality! (Cut to images of The Original Trilogy & The Prequel Trilogy of “Star Wars” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Believe it or not, I was glad as a Star Wars fan to have let sleeping dogs lie especially when it came to the movies. I was glad to have seen the original as a kid and the prequels when they came out. As a matter of fact, the first memory of Seeing Star Wars came with getting my first VCR. For those who are my nieces age a VCR was this device that played this rectangular block that housed a copy of the film you were going to watch. Some of the first movies I saw on this format was “Disney’s Lady & The Tramp”, “Pinocchio”, “The Great Muppet Caper” & “Star Wars” though technically “Star Wars” was recorded from a CBS Broadcast and had the last minute of “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown” And when I saw it, I was amazed at the story about a young person going through this journey and what he had gone through and when my family got a video rental service that’s when I saw “The Empire Strikes Back” & “Return of The Jedi” the twists and turns shocked me and like everyone else I loved these movies and would glad to stop everything to see them. I saw the prequels in the theaters and when I saw them I thought they weren’t bad but as time has gone on, I began to understand why people didn’t like them. Doesn’t mean I agree with them, I found “The Phantom Menace” riff worthy fun, “Attack of The Clones” in need of having a re-write but a good thing to put on the background and make Samuel L. Jackson sound more bad-ass and “Revenge Of The Sith” possibly the best of the three prequels because it was the closest to the Original Trilogy and honestly outside of Expanded Universe Media I was glad to let “Star Wars” drift away into movie history. But the news of more movies coming didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was the fact that Disney bought Lucasfilms and the rights to the “Star Wars” franchise. I thought it would’ve been 20^th Century Fox to buy Lucasfilms and gain those rights. It was 20^th Century Fox that financed the first “Star Wars” movie and distributed “Empire”, “Jedi” & The Prequels, so wouldn’t have selling Lucasfilms and “Star Wars” to 20^th Century Fox been the more logical route? (Cut to everyone in the tent having just finished wrapping James’ feet in bandages and everyone save for James taking off a gas mask.)

Eliza Dushku: Okay, your feet smell wicked bad first. Second what is your beef towards Disney?

TLOTA: It’s not so much a beef towards Disney as much as I’ve seen what Disney has done with great franchises. (Cut to images of “Power Rangers” seasons under the Disney banner as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Believe it or not when I discovered Disney purchased the Power Rangers franchise from Saban it was out of left field. And to say what they did with a few of their seasons and hearing about they disrespected that franchise and the fans of it made me cautious towards what they would’ve done with Star Wars but hearing how they sold Power Rangers for Pennies on the Dollar just so they could buy Marvel, Lucasfilms & Star Wars made me realize that instead of making good with what they got, The house of Mouse will squeeze every last drop of good and throw it away just so they can leave a bad taste in people’s mouth when it’s not their property. (Cut to everyone in the tent)

Tenn: So you were worried they’d do what they did on Power Rangers with Star Wars?

TLOTA: Yep

Tray: But that’s comparing apples to cumquats.

TLOTA: The point I was trying to make is that instead of working on bettering what they had with Power Rangers and keeping that franchise amazing they tried to Disney-fy it until no one wanted to watch it or work on it because before Disney got their hands on it Power Rangers was in the top five best Sci-Fi Franchises for kids and adults as far as I’m concerned and when Disney bought both Lucasfilms and “Star Wars” I had legitimate reasons for concern. (A droid beeping hovering around hits James in the leg) OW! What the… (James picks up the droid and reads aloud it’s designation “C-D-I”)

TLOTA: Let me say this right now, I know a nerd who would be glad to wipe this droid off the face of the map. (A Laser blast hits outside of the tent) Well, I guess we know whose after him don’t we! RUN! (Everyone runs away from the blasts being fired upon their tent before cutting to the bridge of the Super Star Destroyer.

Highlo Bet: CAREFUL YOU MORON! I SAID ACROSS THEIR NOSES NOT UP THEM! (The gunner played by Mike Santos turns to show his eyes are crossed and faces Highlo Bet)

Gunner: Sorry sir, I’m doing my best! (Highlo Bet looks up and down at the gunner)

Highlo Bet: Who made you a gunner?

Major (Audio only): I did sir! (Cut to the Major who is also cross-eyed and facing Highlo Bet)

Major: He’s my brother! (Highlo Bet looks up and down at the Major)

Highlo Bet: Who are you?

Major: I’m a major! Major Idiot!

Highlo Bet: And your brother?

Gunner’s Mate First Class Toe-Tal Idiot: I’m an idiot too sir. Gunner's mate First Class Toe-Tal Idiot!

Highlo Bet: How many Idiots do I have on this ship, anyway?

(Entire bridge crew played by everyone on Team TLOTA in multiple costumes stands up and raises a hand)

Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!

Highlo Bet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by idiots! KEEP FIRING IDIOT! (Cut to James, Eliza, Tray & Tenn standing in the shadow of a familiar ship.)

Tray: Are you sure this thing can fly?

TLOTA: This thing will make .5 past light speed. It made the Kessel run in five parsecs! It outlasted two Death Stars and was able to get The Then Administrator of Bespin out of Imperial capture and was the Flagship of the Rebellion! This is the fastest ship in the galaxy! (Cut to the exterior of the Millennium Falcon.)

Eliza Dushku (Audio only): So why is it in a Junkyard?

TLOTA (Audio only): Well, according to my Screwdriver, it’ll still fly. We just got to get her going! (Cut to the interior of the Millennium Falcon as James uses his Sonic Screwdriver to reactivate all the systems.)

TLOTA: That ought to do it! Try it now! (Cut to the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon)

Tray: Nothing is working!

TLOTA (Audio only): For the love of Peat Moss! (James walks in, aims the Sonic Screwdriver at the control panel and the ship starts up)

TLOTA: There That ought to do it! PUNCH IT! (Cut to the Millennium Falcon taking off and flying out into space with the Super Star Destroyer following it before cutting to the Cockpit of the Falcon)

Eliza Dushku: Here come the bad guys!

Tenn: We have to make the jump to light speed!

Tray: Do any of you know how to do so?

TLOTA: Why does everything have to rest on my shoulders? (James takes control of the ship and flips the right levers to take the ship to Lightspeed before cutting to the cockpit of the Falcon)

Eliza Dushku: Well, it’ll be at least three years before they find us.

Tenn: Whew, so where are we heading?

TLOTA: Someplace we can have the home field advantage.

Eliza Dushku: Are you insane? We’d be putting more of us in danger than them.

TLOTA: You’re right let’s head to the Ne-e-ee-e-ee-e—EEEEEE! WHAT IS GOING ON?!

Tray: There! (Cut to the outside of the Falcon as it’s being placed into another ship via A Tractor Beam before cutting to the hallway in the Falcon where Tray, Tenn, James & Eliza are ready to defend against whoever comes in!)

TLOTA (Whispering) Tenn, the second the last guy is through the door close it. Tray, the second they try to attack take down the last guy in and Tenn back her up, I’ll handle the boss, Eliza, stragglers are yours. (Cut to the Millennium Falcon’s door as a cloud of smoke fills the hall and steps are heard until the smoke clears as Kerr Avon played by Paul Darrow.)

Avon: Well, from one pile of flying scrap metal to another. The Story of my survival. (The sound of the door shuts close as James and everyone else prepare to throw down before James stops everyone.)

TLOTA: Avon! You Son of a… (James throws a punch and Avon goes down like a sack of potatoes)

Tray: Now why did you do that?

Avon: Relax, people do that all the time, especially for those who were loyal to Blake whom I shot.

TLOTA: When he was trying to build a revolutionist army to take down the Federation.

Avon: One of many mistakes that I will live with for the rest of my days and have continued to do so since that faithful day that I lost everyone, I have been running and now I believe I can stop running and start fighting if this ship is as powerful as “The Liberator” then I shall use it and you to finish the job that Blake started.

Tray: Well we have our own Problem. Highlo Bet and The new World order. (Avon grabs Tray’s Arm)

Avon: Did you say Highlo Bet? Very well then, tell the pilot of this ship to take us to these coordinates.

TLOTA: Okay, looks like I’m the pilot now! Why not add more to my buffet of a repertoire? Allons-Y! (Cut to a gigantic person on a throne and Highlo Bet looking up)

Highlo Bet: Lord Hualk How I may I serve you? (Cut to the gigantic Lord Hualk played by John Ross Santos)

Lord Hualk: First off my nWo-ite find a way to shrink this damned hologram! Secondly Have General Nux try the new Starkiller Base on the next place we stop by. Though I do have a question for you, Brother!

Highlo Bet: Lord Hualk, I assure you I know what I will do to if my father were to come for me.

Lord Hualk: Make sure you end Kerr Avon quickly, BROTHER!

Highlo Bet: Yes, my master!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and the Falcon lands near a bar on a forested planet as our ragtag team of travelers exit the Falcon)

Eliza Dushku: So where are we?

TLOTA: According to the navicomputer we’re on the Planet…. Teriyaki!

Eliza Dushku: Seriously?!

Avon: The information I will require is in there! (Cut to a Cantina on top of a mountain before cutting to the inside as Avon orders a drink and the others walk down the bar.)

Avon: So Highlo Bet kidnapped you after watching a movie called “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” and since then you have not had a moment’s peace not even long enough to say whether or not you enjoyed the movie.

TLOTA: Well Avon, I did enjoy the movie but to me it feels less like what “Star Wars” was like when I was a kid.

Avon: Was that when you saw those movies? Knowing you, the moment that made you a Star Wars Fan was some blaster battle or duel between the hero and the villain or some stupid catchphrase. (Cut to Stills from “The Original Star Wars Trilogy” and the Prequels before cutting to stills from “The Force Awakens” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Actually for me, the moment that made me a Star Wars fan WASN’T a battle or some catchphrase. It was when I saw Luke Skywalker having walked away from his aunt and uncle and stepped outside his home to see the Binary Sunset of his home on Tatooine and look and wonder what was in his future. To me THAT was the moment that made me a Star Wars fan and of course the moment was highlighted by the music of John Williams who has done a marvelous job composing ALL of the great moments I remember the most. Whether it was when Luke got home too late to save his Aunt and Uncle which the music punctuated the feeling of someone who had just lost the only thing he had that was his life up to that point or when Han was frozen in Carbonite to being able to cry when one of the Ewoks took the hit that was meant to take out his friend. As a matter of fact, the soundtracks to the Prequels were one of the best things because if you watched those movies sans the Dialogue you could make your own story to the prequels better except for “Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith” because the Dialogue there helps finalize Anakin’s fall from the Jedi and the light side and delving into the Dark Side. With “The Force Awakens” I got that feeling that made me like Star Wars back when I was a kid watching movies instead of critiquing them. (Cut to the inside of the cantina as everyone enjoys their drink.)

Tenn: So I take it that the only Prequel you did like was “The Sith”?

TLOTA: Actually, they aren’t as bad as everyone makes them out to be. (Silence fills the Cantina before we hear the sound of guns being cocked.)

Avon: Well James congratulations are in order for making every last syllable out of Villa’s mouth seem like something out of the finest paper on mathematics and science and now we shall die because of this!

TLOTA: Can I explain why The Prequels aren’t as bad? (Cut to the prequels and the original trilogy as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): To me, the Prequels are a necessary evil! I wanted to know the hows and whys as to what led to Anakin Skywalker’s fall to the Dark Side and become Darth Vader! I wanted to see what led to the rise of the empire. Does Jar-Jar deserve to be ripped into pieces by being truck ripped for what he did? Hell yeah! Did we all know that the character of Palpatine played Ian McDiarmid was in fact going to become the Emperor? Of Course! The Prequels had to tell the Story of Anakin in order to understand the Story of Luke and Leia in the original trilogy. What I will say is that the charm of the originals in which there wasn’t as much green screen and they had to use the physical to make the impractical look realistic isn’t in the Prequels. Do I wish George Lucas go the practical route a little more? Yes, but he realized he needed to be able to do these with the quality of the original trilogy but with making things easier for the actors involved. Did he sacrifice certain things? Yes, and those things he sacrificed made the Prequels a chore to sit through. Quite honestly I like the prequels but if George Lucas spent a little more time maybe a rewrite or two or had help polishing the stories to Episodes I & II then maybe they wouldn’t have been as ridiculed as they were. (Cut to everyone in the cantina)

TLOTA: Does that satisfy everyone?

Avon: Apparently not, they’re still ready to shoot us Stone Cold Dead thanks to you. (Cut to the Alien behind the bar physically performed by Eric Neil Kurtzke but vocally by Renee Miller.)

Alien: No! It was because I sensed the presence of the soldiers of the new World order and I let them know to be ready to shoot. But her… (Alien points to Tray before cutting to Tray)

Tray: Me? (Cut to the Alien behind the bar)

Alien: Yes. I believe this belongs to you. (The Alien pulls out a case and in it is a Lightsaber and as Tray grabs it she feels and experiences a flashback to certain things in the Star Wars series before James catches her as she begins to faint.)

TLOTA: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? (Tray wakes up)

Tray: What a Rush! James, take this.

TLOTA: Okay Why? Because I feel as if I’m about to be…. (Tray screams as she is force pulled to Highlo Bet and Highlo Bet orders his troops to come in and destroy everything and one in sight as it cuts to the Cantina as James activates the Lightsaber and holds his own against the n.W.o Stormtroopers as the Bar fight breaks out and Eliza Dushku attacks and holds her own against the n.W.o Stormtroopers before grabbing a blaster and starts shooting them and more blasts come as the rebellion comes to force the n.W.o Stormtroopers into retreat.)

Avon: Well, I should be grateful to the rebellion, I’m not that great a shot as I once was! (A Stormtrooper tries to shoot Avon in the back as a shot is heard and the camera pans over to Servalan played by Jacqueline Pearce.)

Servalan: And that is how I’ve been saving your backside ever since Gauda Prime! (Servalan hugs Avon)

Avon: To that I am grateful, Hello Servalan. I found Blake, thanks to these people. (Cut to James talking about a plan to rescue Tray and meeting up with Jol Methadone who explains how he escaped and met up with the rebels in the distance before cutting back to Servalan & Avon)

Servalan: If you can save him, do so, please ever since the Federation named me a traitor I’ve been wanting something good to come my way. Blake was it. Save him, Save our son!

Avon: I shall do what I must, no more, no less! (Circular swipe cut to the interior of Starkiller Base as Tray is being interrogated by Highlo Bet.)

Highlo Bet: So I will ask one more time, what do you know of the Rebels and their alliance against the n.W.o?

Tray: You will not get anything from me!

Highlo Bet: I will not get anything you! Hey Stop That!

Tray: I’m not doing anything!

Highlo Bet: You’re not doing anything! Wait a second, yes you are and I am going to wait until the second you tell me.

Tray: But not here, after we fight for the last time.

Highlo Bet: Very well then after we… GOD DAMN IT! GUARD! Watch her! (Cut to the outside of the room where the Captain of the guard and another Stormtrooper before seeing their heads being sliced off with a lightsaber and the door opens to see James, Eliza & Tenn rescue Tray.)

Tray: What took you so long?

Tenn: We had to come up with a plan and I had given the Rebellion the necessary data to destroy this thing!

Tray: Well, where is Avon?

TLOTA: Going to confront Highlo Bet. Why he would do that seems out of character, even for him.

Eliza: What do you know about characters?

TLOTA: Quite a bit especially when it comes to the Star Wars franchise.  (Cut to stills of certain moments in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I knew Han and Leia would’ve hooked up and settled down after the end of the First big battle and Luke would’ve restarted the Jedi temple and teach students in the ways of the force in both the Light and Dark side so they know what was where and what path they could go down. Then of course we have R2-D2 & C-3PO they would’ve remained loyal to Luke, Leia and Han but I have a lot of questions that I never got the answers to by the end of the movie such as What made Kylo Ren become a member of the Sith or What was the reason behind C-3PO’s red arm or for that matter why didn’t they know R2 was in a recharging mode hell even how The First Order picked up where the empire left off. (An audible scream of the word “Blake” is heard before cutting to a point in the of the interior of Starkiller Base as Highlo Bet stands in the center of the Base and Avon is seen at the end of the runway.)

Avon: BLAKE! Didn’t I ever teach you that it is considered rude to face someone behind a mask, my son. (Highlo Bet takes off his mask to reveal that he is Blake Servalan Avon played by Paulo Fonseca.)

Blake: Hello father! (Avon walks towards his son)

Avon: Your mother and I have never given up on you so answer me this, Have you given up on yourself? Have you given up on us as a family?

Blake: I am the only one who has tried to do what you and mother have never tried.

Avon: Your mother and I have tried to keep you out of what we do. So for her sake, my sake and yours let it go. (Avon and Blake come face to face as Blake and Avon hold Blake’s Lightsaber.)

Blake: I don’t know if I can.

Avon: Yes! I know what I do now is for all of us! (The lightsaber activates and guts Avon and his face reacts the same way Roj Blake’s did as he was shot by Avon before it is retracted.)

Avon (In pain and dying): Blake! (Avon falls to his death while focusing on an overhead shot on Blake)

TLOTA (Audio only): YOU KILLED YOUR FATHER YOU BASTARD! (Cut to James screaming and swinging down on a rope to try to be force thrown to the floor of the Hangar Bay of the Starkiller Base as everyone else runs and Blake chases after them as the scene cuts to the interior of the Millennium Falcon as everyone sighs and sits uncomfortably or cries silently)

Tenn: Why did this happen? We thought he would lead us to something to stop the n.W.o.

Tray: He died so we could have a chance to either destroy Highlo Bet or save Blake one of the two.

Eliza Dushku: Kind of hard seeing as how Blake & Bet are the same. This is so similar to what happens in “The Force Awakens”

TLOTA: Yeah, A little too similar. Almost like… Oh my God! I know why I and everyone liked “The Force Awakens” and for that matter the entire “Star Wars” Franchise! (Cut to a geeky female writer in front of a computer played by Rebecca Yaun)

G.F.W.: So James discovers the key fact on what keeps “Star Wars” popular as everyone else is left in surprise. (Cut to The interior of the Millennium Falcon)

Eliza, Tenn & Tray: FAN FICTION?!

TLOTA: Exactly that! Think About it! (Cut to stills of old Saturday Morning Movie Serials and Old Sci-Fi, Old Action & Western Movies Then Stills of the entire Star Wars franchise as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): George Lucas grew up watching these classics and wrote “Star Wars” as not only a love letter to those movies from a by-gone era, He essentially said “It was okay if you were or are a fan of these movies or stories that you grew up with, you can make them in your own way and people WILL enjoy it!” And that’s why J.J. Abrams made “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” the way he did. He did his own Fan-Fiction of where he thought the Star Wars franchise would go and ultimately it worked because it was HIS spin on Star Wars. That’s why the movie came out as great as it did! (Cut to the interior of the Millennium Falcon as a familiar whoosh is heard as James’ Time and Space Device materializes inside the Falcon as the remainder of Team TLOTA walk out the door.)

Paulo Fonseca: Somehow You’d find yourself in trouble today.

Rebecca Yaun: And we would be the ones trying to clean up the mess!

TLOTA: Alright Eliza, let’s get going.

Tray: Wait, you can’t leave us.

TLOTA: Actually we’ve got a battle with Highlo or Blake or whoever he is.

Tenn: But who will help us in our battle with the n.W.o.? (A Smooth voice from the past says “Tenn, Rule Number One: Always expect help when everything looks bleak and Rule Number Two… Before cutting to Billy Dee Williams as Lando Calrissian!)

Lando: Never forget rule Number one!  (Cut to a forested part of the Starkiller base where James in full on out battle gear and a special set of Sunglasses, Tenn holding the lightsaber & Tray await Blake and Blake arrives.)

TLOTA: Well Blake we meet face to face!

Blake: The Lightsaber, I Want it, I DEMAND YOU GIVE IT TO ME!

Tenn: Well, you’re going to have to take it from me!

TLOTA: And you’re going to have to go through me to get to Tenn! (Blake reaches out as James is flung off camera)

TLOTA (Audio as he landed): I’m not okay! (Blake and Tenn Battle for a few Seconds before they feel the earth shake and Tenn loses his grip on the Lightsaber.)

Blake: What was that?

TLOTA: Don’t you realize why there’s a whole lot of hurt coming your way? (Cut to the outer space as James’ Space & Time Device flies in the Air before cutting to the interior as Eliza, Traci, Paulo Fonseca, Rebecca Yaun, Nick Yaun, Eric Kurtzke and John and Mike Santos pilot the thing and open communications to the rebellion.)

Paulo Fonseca: All fighters focus your attack runs on the center of that thing! (Cut to Jol Methadone in his X-Wing Fighter.)

Jol: Roger that! (Cut to the forested part of the Starkiller base!)

Blake: You sent them my way!

TLOTA: Not only here but a whole lot of other places as well in the quadrant you and everything you have been a part of.

Blake: No matter that lightsaber is MINE! (The Lightsaber goes to Tray and the lightsaber turns on. Blake and Tray fight.)

Blake: Come with me and I will show you the way of the force!

TLOTA (Audio): I don’t think that’s what she wants. (Cut to James standing strong as he wields The Sword Of Caliverti)

TLOTA: Besides You’re gonna get more of a headache with what’s coming your way! (Cut to a fleet of other Fandoms being led by the U.S.S. Enterprise!)

Captain James T. Kirk (Audio only by James Faraci but the image blurs between The Old School William Shatner, Movie version of Kirk by Shatner and Chris Pine from the reboot.): Calling this quadrant of space. This is James T. Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise! (Cut to the Outer space as Fandoms come out to attack.)

TLOTA (Audio only): You could say, they’ve been waiting to get their hands on you for a LONG TIME! (Cut to the cockpit of the Starkiller Base as Audio and Visual of Different Fandoms ranging from Comic Books to Movies to Sci-Fi and everything in between flooding everything before cutting to an image of the interior of Iron Man’s helmet as he shouts out “AVENGERS!” Before cutting to a darkened image of Tony Stark shouting “TIME TO EARN A LIVING!” before cutting to the cockpit and General Nux.)

Gen. Nux: How many are out there?!

Gunner’s Mate First Class Toe-Tal Idiot: According to the latest reading it is two shy of… CORRECTION! (Cut to Outer Space where The TARDIS and a Man on A Nuclear Missile comes rushing their way before cutting to the image of Peter Capaldi’s Doctor looking intensely into the screen before cutting to the Missile as we see who’s on top of it! Segata Sanshiro played by James Faraci.)

Gunner’s Mate First Class Toe-Tal Idiot (Audio only): Final total ONE DEKA-QUADRILLION!

(Segata Sanshiro Speaking Mock Japanese but translated as “Star Wars! You Belong to Us!” before cutting to Tray and James Battling Blake before James destroys Blake’s Lightsaber with his Sonic Sunglasses and a rift appears breaking up the fight and James’ Time and Space Device comes as well as the Falcon)

Tray: I guess we can handle this without you now.

TLOTA: Good Luck! (James Runs to his Time and Space Device as Tray carries Tenn to the Falcon before cutting to footage of “The Day Of The Doctor” in which The 11^th Doctor shouts “GERONIMO!” The 10^th Doctor shouting “ALLONS-Y!” and The War Doctor saying “Ugh, For God’s Sake!” before cutting to see James’ Time and Space Device getting the hell out of Dodge as a gigantic explosion like experience happens! Before cutting to the outside of James’ Office building and James looking out into the stars and Eliza coming over to be next to James.)

Eliza Dushku: Hell of a night.

TLOTA: Yep.

Eliza Dushku: Wondering if the rebellion will win?

TLOTA: Yep.

Eliza Dushku: If I said “I want to rip the clothes off your back and Milk you like a cow for your birthday right in front of everyone in the office.” Would you like that?

TLOTA: Yep. (Eliza Dushku smacks James in the head.)

TLOTA: Sorry I wasn’t listening but after everything we went through, it kind of makes you think.

Eliza Dushku: Yeah, but what about?

TLOTA: Whatever it is you want to think about? (Cut to the two looking up as it fades to a shot of the Falcon flying on a distant planet before cutting to Tray as she walks up a hill in order to find Luke Skywalker and she pulls out the Lightsaber and holds it out for Luke to take it before circular wiping to Black)