Headin' for a "Hawaiian Wedding"

    (0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James in his office physically)

TLOTA:
I'm James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans, and the views I'm about to express are that of my own & some of yours. Last year, was one of the worst for all of humanity, myself included. However, everyone including Allison Pregler was a little steamed that I talked about Baywatch! (Cut to clips of Baywatch as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
And a lot of people have given me Tsouris for it! I freely admit I was bored when I did the "In Defense Of Baywatch" and after watching it on Pluto TV and now on "Heroes & Icons" (A nationwide syndicated rerun station on Cable TV) I can say again that yes, this is not high art drama. It does go into fluff territory however, seeing stories of the men and women who actively go out and try to rescue people from dying in the middle of the water does have to have a certain amount of weight to it. But after two spin-offs that lasted two years and a several seasonal run in syndication, Baywatch could not be rescued from the fate of all tv shows that outlasts it's shelf life, it was cancelled at the end of the second and final season of "Baywatch Hawaii" in which the cast rode off into the sunset of the Hawaiian sky on their "Baywatch" boat! Within hours of posting the "In Defense Of Baywatch" someone had mentioned a reunion movie made a few years after the series was cancelled and was made into a movie of the week for "FOX"! (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
I immediately regretted defending the series! (Cut to the opening credit for the "Baywatch" reunion movie dubbed "Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding". Cut to clips of the "Baywatch" reunion movie as the sounds of crying in pain and whispers of "Must Be Strong!" are repeated during the minute of clips. Cut to James as he sighs in defeat.) This is "Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding" (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The movie opens on David Hasselhoff as he has visions of his salad days on "Baywatch". Actually it's Mitch Buchanon as he and a woman named Allison who looks SO much like Stephanie Holden the producers of this movie somehow convinced Alexandra Paul to come on board to play Allison, but I digress, the two have been living with each other for some time and it appears that the bomb that was meant to kill Mitch did not do the job as he suffered from amnesia for a brief time only to remember who he is, retire from lifeguarding and decides to ask Allison to marry him. We then cut to our opening credits that show who they got which includes Pamela Anderson reprising her role as C.J. and we also got Carmen Electra, Jason Momoa, and other cast members they could get for pennies on the dollar including Jeremy Jackson to reprise the role of Hobie Buchanon. We then find ourselves back at the Malibu Baywatch base back in California as Taylor Walsh played by Angelica Bridges now runs the center as J.D. played by Michael Bergin, Leigh played by Brande Roderick, and Hobie work under her and before I forget, Hobie is now in a relationship with Summer Quinn once again played by Nicole Eggert. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Now keep in mind Nicole Eggert's age at that point was 20 and Jeremy Jackson was 12 at the time he was on at the same time as Nicole Eggert was. If you threw up in your mouth a little like I did, Mazel Tov you still have some human decency in you. So would the fact the characters of Hobie who was ten and the character of Summer Quinn was probably closer to Nicole's actual age at the time. Think about that. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.): 
Mitch does seem to come back to the station to introduce Allison to everyone and to their shock how much she looks like Stephanie Holden and gives the members of Baywatch and us the rundown as to what happened. Taylor convinces Mitch to return to Baywatch as an active member and as he sets up his tower, Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Neely returns and is played by her original actress Gina Lee Nolan! (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Backstory time.  (Cut to clips of "Baywatch" as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
In 1997 actress Gina Lee Nolan was pregnant with her first child a son named Spencer, the pregnancy was hidden well throughout the 1997 season, when the character had returned Neely was shown to have left Baywatch due to a drug dependency. Mitch and Donna had an intervention in which it's revealed that Neely had a little baby girl and she needed help taking care of the girl which somehow makes Mitch realize how much he loves Neely and her daughter, so much so at the end of that season, Mitch proposed to Neely and the sea captain married the two. However, Gina Lee Nolan decided to be with her real child and left the series. This further compounded the problems the productions were having as they tested the couple in a test audience and the response was negative. So what to do?  Recast with someone who barely looks like Gina Lee Nolan, show Neely as a liar and a sneak and a thief, as for their marriage? Never happened apparently the sea captain was not licensed to do the ceremony making everything Null and Void between the couple. Thus giving them a tension that would permeate the rest of the character's run in the series and this reunion movie. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
And throughout the entire time, we have to see Gina try to incorporate elements into her character that as far as I remember was not a part of her portrayal of her character, but instead, character traits that were incorporated into Neely after Gina Lee Nolan had left the series and the writers had put in. If they were in the character during Nolan's run of the series. (James sighs and holds his head before picking it up) You know, as I watched this movie, I thought to myself is this the hopelessness Joel and The Bots felt whilst watching "Castle Of Fu Manchu", the belief that we all pay a past life's dues for every crime we suffer the same way Siskel & Ebert felt whilst watching "Frozen Assets", the same feeling of loss of life Siskel & Ebert felt as they watched "She's Out Of Control". Maybe it's the past few years just catching up with me of all the losses I've suffered just hitting me all at once, maybe it's...it's...OH, WHAT'S THE USE? WHY AM I WATCHING THIS? WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF! (James breaks down into tears. Cut to a black screen with the words "Several hours of crying and contemplation later. Cut to James as he finishes off a bottle of Pineapple soda) I'm better, for now, let's get back at it! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
We soon find C.J. having opened up a bar and grill in Hawaii where some of the cast members who were in "Baywatch Hawaii" still were doing Lifeguarding. Finding herself bored out of her marbles, C.J. decides to hold a reunion at her bar and grill in Hawaii. C.J. & Mitch talk about his engagement to Allison and says that they're getting married in Hawaii, El Coincidence?! We'll soon find out. Meanwhile, Caroline Holden played by Yasmine Bleeth has become an actress but signs on for the reunion as does John D. Cort played by Gina Lee Nolan's "Sheena" actor John Allen Nelson who also starred in "Baywatch" a lifetime and a half before Nolan arrived on Baywatch! If you're still sane we'll progress with everyone else including Eddie Kramer played by Billy Warlock, Lani played by Carmen Electra who ironically is in Hawaii as a Hula Dancer and friends with C.J.  however in the series Carmen Electra was hired as a replacement for Pamela Anderson because the producers needed someone with Pamela Anderson's visibility but also someone who they thought could make the series last a few years more, the character of Lani was written out after one season and the characters never met until this movie! In addition, Jason played by Jason Momoa and Kekoa played by Stacy Kamano from "Baywatch Hawaii" are on board for the reunion. Everyone arrives in Hawaii for the reunion and the wedding including Mason Sato who takes photos of everyone, Sato is played by Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa and is Mitch's archnemesis, When did this happen? How did the two become enemies? Check out Allison Pregler's "Baywatching" or "Baywatching Nights" for this revelation because I have no idea nor do I care how this happened. Meanwhile, Neely, still suspicious of Allison, teams up with Caroline to confront Allison which is hard for Caroline because Allison looks like her deceased sister! (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Well, wouldn't you be conflicted if a friend's fiancee looks like your dead sibling? (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Finally, Neely and Allison come to blows as the two fight, 2003 WWE Women's division style, in a pool of water. However, Allison's prints wind up on Neely's necklace. She asks Jason if he knows of anyone on the police force. Jason tells Neely of her brother who runs the prints. Meanwhile, it's off to Haiku Island for everyone. Sato and his henchmen arrive to capture Lani, Cort, Eddie, Caroline, Hobie & Summer as an act of vengeance on Mitch. Again "Baywatching" or "Baywatching Nights" check out why there. While waiting Neely's suspicions turn out to be true as Jason and Kekoa discover that Allison is actually a criminal who was convicted of forgery named Judy Radkin who had extreme reconstructive surgery to look like Stephanie Holden and is in league with Sato!  (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
And our survey says... (A Ding is heard with the words "No Surprise") It's "Baywatch" this type of stuff happens on a Tuesday for Mitch Buchanon and crew! How does Mitch handle this news? (Show clip of Mitch losing it in Neely's face when Allison tells Mitch who she is. Cut to James physically as he holds his head with his face in his hands before looking up) Mitch...David... You have stupid just branded all over you! I mean, yeah, I understand where you're coming from but if an ex-girlfriend were to try and convince me that my fiancee was hooked up with an archnemesis of mine, I'd have a hard time to buy it, but I'd listen without question and if it were true, I'd have to drop her like a bad habit.(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Sato's henchmen have Lani, Cort, Eddie, Caroline, Hobie & Summer drowned however Sato gives Mitch one chance to rescue them all. Neely and Mitch rescue Summer and Hobie, Leigh rescues Lani and Cort, and JD rescues Eddie and Caroline. After doing CPR to resuscitate Hobie. Mitch and Sato fight one last time with Sato... (Show clip of Sato being turned into chum by the boat propellers as Neely punches "Allison" and takes her gun. Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA:
Did I forget that the Hoff was a producer on the series and the movie? So he must have had some creative clout to see that Mitch Buchanon get a win after the production company tried to kill him off in Baywatch Hawaii's first season. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
The Coast Guard arrests Sato's Henchmen, Allison and Mitch call it quits as Allison is arrested as well, Neely and Mitch try to make their relationship work, JD and Kekoa try to be in love again as do Jason and Leigh. And this movie ends with C.J. getting married to a guy named Lorenzo who barely had any screen time. (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
So that was the Baywatch reunion movie "Baywatch: Hawaiian Wedding"  Somewhere between Bad and Disappointing is where this movie lies! (Cut to clips of the "Baywatch" reunion movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Don't get me wrong, it has all the cheesiness the show has been known for but man that cheesiness loses its flavor and texture quickly. The acting is what you'd expect for a movie like this but in this instance, the plot should've ended things for the entire franchise with the proper amount of closure. While some storylines that had been dangling from the series were concluded a lot of the story is just recycled from every single episode, even episodes of "Baywatch Nights" got thrown into the mix. If you're really into the series then you might enjoy all the nods, the references, and the characters that came back but if you were there for the heyday and left after Pamela Anderson or maybe just saw one episode and thought the show was too dumb to even by your standards then you might not like it. If you for some reason decided to sit and stay throughout the series, you may enjoy it. I did find it available on DVD on Amazon or through a third party on eBay. But personally, I think David Hasselhoff was right to say that after the 1999 season that it was a good idea to have the series end then and there. Because the only competition for something this intolerable was the movie that was made a few years ago. (Cut to James physically outside his studio near a trash dumpster with another copy of "Baywatch" starring Dwayne Johnson with a grenade and ten sticks of dynamite surrounding the DVD.)

TLOTA:
And everyone should know how I feel about it. (James lights the fuses to the Dynamite sticks, pulls out the pin on the grenade, and tosses the DVD into the dumpster. James runs away quickly as he says "I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's My Opinion." as the dumpster goes sky high, the scene fades to black.)

The Last Of The Americans 2019 Holiday Gift Guide

James Faraci:

Hey everyone, before I begin, I wanted to give everyone one final update. On November 28th 2019, my brother Rob died peacefully after fighting to recover from the massive stroke he suffered in April. He leaves behind three daughters (My Nieces) Mallory, Madison and Vivian Lee and their mother Jessica. From this moment forward every one of my reviews I dedicate to my brother Robert. Thank you for helping and thank you Rob for being my brother.

Robert Ralph Faraci Jr.

1975-2019

(Cut to James pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing in Santa's sleigh and fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans Christmas mode with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with Christmas Trees on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James and Santa riding with the 12th Doctor and Clara at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun and Nick Yaun as the two run after the Grinch before cutting to John and Mike Santos baking cookies before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda Fonseca popping in A Muppets Christmas Special on a player before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Olivia Horvath decorating as it cuts to the doors outside of James' space and time machine as the 0:28 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time and Space device and tosses a candy cane then cuts over to multiple clips from the past six years of “The Last Of The Americans” Christmas reviews/top 12s as the Candy Cane flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Cut to James in his office)

TLOTA:

I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views I'm about to express are that of my own and hopefully some of yours and Merry Christmas. And yeah, I decided to tone down the Christmas intro because after all the crazy events that has happened so far with every Christmas intro, I find myself causing a bigger mess and that's not right. So this year, I'm going to take it down a few notches and do something my Reviewing ancestors did! (Cut to clips of "Siskel & Ebert" and "Siskel & Ebert's Holiday Guide as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

It goes without saying that Gene Siskel and his friend Roger Ebert remain the greatest movie critics of all time. Everyone remembers their reviews, their arguments, and the laughs. But for a while both Gene and Roger would step away from the Balcony and check out gift ideas for the holidays and today to honor their memories and the holiday gift guides I'm doing my own Holiday gift guide. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:

Now before I begin I want to lay out some guidelines, the gifts are going to be rather inexpensive because some of the stuff Siskel & Ebert were recommending were pricey as all get out and I know some people aren't able to afford such luxuries, the highest I'd go is roughly $100.00, though admittedly there will be gifts that are a little more pricey which will be mentioned but I will not recommend. I'll also be suggesting movies thanks to help from my friends. Now with an hour and a half before the Christmas party, let's get into "The Last Of The American's Holiday Gift guide"! (Cut to James and Team TLOTA in their Pajamas as they come rushing to the Christmas Tree and see different items they wanted and cleaning up as the camera turns to see in the Wrapping Paper shrapnel "The Last Of The Americans Holiday Gift Guide" slide wipe to James in Cooking gear and walks to an Immersion Circulator and around the Kitchen in the Studio.)

TLOTA:

As you can see I love to cook and one thing I've always wanted to try is an immersion circulator and for me this is one of the better ones, this is a Nuovoware Sous Vide Cooker and what it does is takes water and warms it up to a certain temperature and holds it to a tenth of the degree for hours on end. One thing that I would suggest is a 12 quart container that is clear so you can see what is cooking and right now I have it set for 155 Degrees and in it is a 15 Lbs. turkey and it has been cooking for several hours and even though the skin hasn't browned, I will be browning the bird after I pull it out. You can use the screen to set the temperature and the time. Hold down the power button for three seconds to turn the device on and the water will warm up to the temperature. Let's check out the turkey now! (James pulls the bird out, says "Best to keep the device next to the sink" and checks out the temperature on the breast meat of the turkey.) Ah, 155 degrees, now to put it in the oven. Now this is no ordinary oven and before anyone asks, Yes it is WAY over the budget BUT the only reason I'm talking about it is simply put, it was here when I got the place. This is the Frigidare 5.4-cu ft. Self-Cleaning Air Fry True Convection Freestanding Electric Range and as it says in the description it has an Air Fry function. It works well enough to do what it can do in the job and I do enjoy the air fry function and speaking of Air Fryers, I'm glad to introduce you to a doppletasker, this air fryer is a BLACK+DECKER Purify 2-Liter Air Fryer and while it does try to do what it supposed to do which is make air fried food, it does a better job as an Air Popcorn Popper which is also good when I make Garam Masala because it allows the air in the kitchen to have a certain fragrance and speaking of smelling good, the best smells I've smelled coming from here is of all things the Keurig K-Classic Coffee Maker and with a reusable filter this thing is so worth it's weight in gold, I've made loose leaf teas, Mulled Cider, Hot Cocoa and as a matter of fact this has been used for Coffee as well and with everything we do here, the coffee flows like water around here. These items are available on this part in the links provided. And now let's get to some movie suggestions that friends volunteered me for movies for you to check out which are real turkeys however they're only a little tolerable thanks to the our friends who drown the turkeys in riffing gravy. (Cut to clips of "The Christmas that almost wasn't", "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians", "Santa Claus" and "Santa & The Ice Cream Bunny" as they're taken down by Rifftrax, Cinematic Titanic and MST3K as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Yes, these movies riffed by the crews of Cinematic Titanic, MST3K and Rifftrax can put anyone in a good holiday mood. I can honestly recommend the riffed versions of these movies because anyone who has to sit through one of your aunt or uncles boring stories can actually feel better if you were thinking of seeing Mike, Kevin and Bill or Joel/Mike/Jonah and the Bots make the snarky comments the stories rightfully deserve. As a matter of fact my favorite episode of MST3K IS "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" so, yeah, make of that what you will. (Cut to James physically in the Main room in the office with some of the latest tech within reasonable prices.)

TLOTA:

Now here's something that a lot of people have that are reasonably priced and can connect us more, this here for example is the Amazon Echo Show now what's really awesome is that it connects me to people I care about and there are some around the studio. For example I want to call someone special, I say "Alexa, Connect me to Alex!" The face on the Amazon Echo Show changes to connect me to...

(Cut to Julia Alexa Miller in her office)

TLOTA (Audio only):
Alex! (Julia Alexa Miller gets startled as she sees James on the Amazon Echo Show)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Oh for the love of... let me guess Holiday Gift Guide. (Cut to James on the Amazon Echo Show)

TLOTA:
Yeah and I'm sorry about scaring you so to atone for what I did, I want you to plug your tutorials right here, right now as part of the Gift Guide. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
Well thank you and as James so quickly thought of doing so, I will "Plug" my tutorials. (Cut to clips of Liquid Verve Tutorials as Julia Alexa Miller does a voiceover)

Julia Alexa Miller (Voiceover):
In my tutorials you will learn some beginner to I'd love to say advanced techniques on how to shoot smarter, work with photoshop, editing and learning about dodge & burn. All of them are close to a hundred dollars which includes downloads and RAW photos. Go to Liquidverve.com to get the tutorials to help get your photos to professional quality. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Thanks for not getting angry for disturbing you. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)

Julia Alexa Miller:
While I was shocked, I should expect it especially with what is happening next year and after that of course. (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Of course, I'll see you in a few hours for the party. Now back to the Gift Guide, one thing I discovered last year thanks to a friend of mine are streaming devices and for me the Amazon Fire TV Stick and Amazon Echo Dot combo. Much like the Echo Show, it can connect through the internet and connect you to certain people and things now let's say you want to check out the local news, again I say "Alexa, show me the local news" and on my tv, Boom! My local news. Well this is something that's been happening for a while "Women discovered after being missing for days coming back heavily aged and saying "Michaud is our master, he owns our lives and he will own yours, bow down to Michaud", DNA confirms that they were the missing women from Photoshoot. More Developments as they happen" That's kind of interesting to hear about and with this you can do a lot more with this device and it is also connected to something we put in just recently it's called the Ring Video Doorbell and what it does is connects to the Amazon Echo products and the Amazon Fire TV and allows you to protect yourself from scammers and right now Paulo and Brenda are outside. Alexa show me who is at the door. (Cut to the outside door as Paulo and Brenda Fonseca)

Paulo Fonseca:

So are you going to press it?

Brenda Fonseca:
Why don't you do it?

Paulo Fonseca:
Because he'll try to do something.

TLOTA (Audio Only):
Like try and scare the pants off you? (Paulo and Brenda Yip in surprise) Guys, I can see that it works and if you look in the window you can see yourselves, looking at yourselves on my tablet. (The camera shows James holding the tablet as Paulo and Brenda look at themselves on the tablet through the Ring Video Doorbell and James saying "Cool isn't it?" Cut to Paulo and Brenda nodding and then gesturing that James is cuckoo and James says "I saw that". Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Now this is awesome because it can also allow you the ability to play any tone especially the Christmas tones that you'd hear on the radio all the time, if anyone has a radio today, these items are available on this part in the links provided. And now we're going to go into more movie suggestions that are a little out there but still have the holiday spirit in it. (Cut to the Title Cards and clips of "Hot Fuzz", "Die Hard", "Lethal Weapon" and "Anna vs The Apocalypse" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover)

Yeah these movies are actually not "Christmas" movies per se but the stories and the emotions are set during Christmas and it's pretty easy to see why these movies are as good as they are. Yeah they're great action movies but they also in some weird way also have the drama of Christmas mixed in with these movies and for my money, they're awesome in keeping Christmas in control. Plus What other movie than "Hot Fuzz" has Peter Jackson dressed as Santa stabbing Simon Pegg?! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
So okay we're taking a break and when we get back Christmas movies for comic book fans, Some great toys and games for the kiddies, A lot of classics movies and some special episodes of series that have the Christmas spirit in them and hopefully if he arrives at the right time me and KiraKennedy will try this Nintendo Switch with a game of my choice. This ought to be fun!

( Fade to black. Cut to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Return to the 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo & Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his left doing their own heroic poses dressed in Christmas Garb on a white background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before all while snow and jingling bells are heard and seen in the foreground. Fade to James as he has a remote in his hands and his niece Vivian seem to be having fun chasing a drone.)

TLOTA:

Continuing with the holiday gift guide as you can tell me and my niece Vivian are having fun with our next item the Holy Stone Drone with Camera. It has a built in camera that works with a smartphone or a tablet and Vivian, Lovebug, Take a look. See that. (Camera cuts to see James and Vivian on the Tablet) It's us, awesome isn't it?

Vivian Lee:
Yeah, I guess so Uncle Jimmy. (James laughs and hugs his niece. Camera cuts to James as he controls the drone.)

TLOTA:
Now this is something interesting, the flight capability is incredible as is the ability to shoot in 360 degrees, the hover function is incredible as we buzz through the Studio. Say Vivian, wanna buzz some of the people here?

Vivian Lee:
No. I wanna play some board games.

TLOTA:
Okay, now believe it or not, this is actually Vivian's favorite game. This is Candy Land. The goal is to make it from the starting point The best thing about is that as long as there are a lot of possibilities that can happen you can either wind up closest to the end quickly and guess who are going to join us. Mr. & Mrs. Yaun.

Rebecca Yaun:

Who's going first?

Nick Yaun:
How about we let Vivian go first?

Vivian Lee:
Thank You. (Game play goes on between the four as Vivian and James tie but Vivian gets the winning card and everyone cheers.)

TLOTA:
You did great sweetheart! How about another game?  How about Jenga?

Vivian Lee:
Okay, What's Jenga? (Cut to James as he and Vivian come to the Jenga tower)

TLOTA:
This is Jenga. The goal is simple take the right pieces out to keep it stable. Pull on the wrong one? (Vivian Lee jumps back as the tower falls) 

Vivian Lee:
That's scary

TLOTA:
I know but that's part of the fun of it. If you can keep it standing you win. Want me to set it up so we can play it together?

Vivian Lee:
Okay. (The two play Jenga for a couple of minutes as Vivian wins it.) That was awesome! Hey Uncle Jimmy what's that? (Cut to the two as they walk over to the Connect Four)

TLOTA:
The Connect Four. Well Little miss Vivian, this is something interesting, it's something simple yet so complex. You have to put four checker pieces in the same row either Up or Down, Left or right or even diagonally and it's up to the opponent to get to four before you. Wanna play it with Aunt Alex?

Vivian Lee:
Okay (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller and Vivian as the two play Connect Four and Vivian continually beats Julia Alexa Miller.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
You are doing fantastic

Vivian Lee:
Thank you. (Cut to James as Vivian and Julia Alexa Miller continue playing all the different board games)

TLOTA:
These games and the Drone are available anywhere, the link to the drone are up where I talked about it. Now some more recommendations of movies for the kids and for those who are still kids at heart. (Cut to title cards of "Home Alone", "Home Alone 2", "A Christmas Story", "The Muppets Christmas Carol", "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", "Miracle On 34th Street"(Both Versions), "It's A Wonderful Life", "Gremlins", "The Lord Of The Rings"/"Hobbit" movie trilogies, "Star Wars" movies and "Star Trek" movies as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
These movies are classic Christmas movies and movies I like to see during the holidays and I get to enjoy plenty of them during the holidays. I especially find more enjoyment as I get older. Some for the relate to certain things like when Clark has a meltdown in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" or having to fight little demons like in "Gremlins" and while the 2009 version was suggested, I do like the Muppet version more than I do the 2009 as fans of "A Christmas Carol" consider this the favorite one, musical numbers and all. All of these are available and I highly recommend them for the sake of you and the family you love. (Cut to James at the outside of a house outlet store in a mall in upstate NY)

TLOTA:
And now keeping with The Siskel & Ebert Holiday Gift Guide, I'm actually going to show someplace that has electronics for the best prices and I am not going to name the place but these helpful hints won't hurt. (James walks in as a rebus puzzle spell out "Best Buy" as James walks around and does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
While the quality of the screens have been and sound systems have been improving since HDTV and Surround Systems and the fact they're becoming more inexpensive putting it all together in the right order to maximize everything to perfection. I asked the assistant to see what it would cost for someone on a fixed income for a theater quality image and sound. When he gave me the price, I nearly had a heart attack right then and there! But when I saw someone I knew who actually had the same system and I asked if I could see it. (Cut to James and his friend in his place in his media room as James continues his voiceover). What I saw was something so amazing that I had to check out a movie that had been recently brought back on Blu-Ray and it was spectacular how it looked. The Clarity of it reminded me of how I saw the movie back in the Sullivan County Drive In! The sound quality was amazing and I truly saw why and how he was able to do it. But while he and I were able to enjoy the movie I also able to come up with a list of gifts that I think should be under the Christmas Tree this year! (Cut to clips of "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie" as James does a voiceover)

Number 5) "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie" & "Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie" But ON Blu-Ray!

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I'll admit these is are the cult classic guilty pleasure movies but for the most part it has been left in pretty bad shape on DVD. They cut the title of "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie" to "Power Rangers: The Movie" and both movies were not in the brightest quality. Thankfully with the Shout Factory re-release on Blu-Ray. The quality of the video is back if not better than before, the sound quality is better and the best part of the two movies? The answer is simple it is once again "Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie" plus there is a bonus documentary which features Director Bryan Spicer and the cast talking about their experiences with making the movie and that does make it worth it's place under the Christmas Tree. (Cut to clips of Doctor Who Christmas Specials as James does a voiceover)

Number 4) The Doctor Who Christmas Specials

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I WHOLLY support these specials. David Tennant's specials are some of my favorite episodes. He stops the Sycorax in his first episodes, he stopped the Racnoross from killing everyone he kept the spaceship "Titanic" from crashing on the earth, he kept the Cybermen from destroying Victorian London and when it was time for the tenth doctor to regenerate I was prepared for it. Then came the 11th Doctor's era, Everyone of them are awesome even the set up episodes to the 11th's final entry "The Time Of The Doctor". The 12th Doctor's were a mixed bag. "Last Christmas" & "The Husbands Of River Song" are okay. "The Return Of Doctor Mysterio" fell a little flat and in the final outing of the 12th Doctor "Twice Upon A Time" maybe a perfect farewell of the past of Doctor Who and a great sign of the next phase of The Doctor and so far it's been all good! (Cut to MST3K clips as James does a voiceover)

Number 3) Any of the Myriad of MST3K episode collections

TLOTA(Voiceover):
This is basically a chin flick to Netflix but also something to comfort the fans who have been hurt by the cancellation. These are a great reminder of the series for fans and to help those who never knew of the series to get a fun introduction to the series and with the three Christmas episodes I mentioned earlier, this can make any day feel just as good as Christmas should be. (Cut to The 1989-1997 Batman movies as James does a voiceover)

Number 2) The Tim Burton/Joel Schumacher Batman movies.

TLOTA (Voiceover):
These are a few of my favorite movies especially the 1989 Batman movie. And since it is Batman's 80th Anniversary, it'd be a great way to show how Batman could be done right and done wrong and how both are not recent events. While a lot of it hasn't aged well, there is something that has a charm that keeps people enthralled in the adventures, the humor, for the most part, the action and let's face it these are, with a certain point of view, really better than what we give them for. (Cut to "Avengers: Endgame" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover)
And the number one Christmas gift is...

Number 1) "Avengers: Endgame"

TLOTA (Voiceover):
I truly believe this will be on everyone's Christmas list and for an amazing reason. It was a logical closure point to the MCU's biggest storyline. While there will be repercussions from said ending in the movies afterwards. I do suggest if it is on your wish list make sure you get it for all the right reasons. However as an early Christmas gift, I have to spoil one thing on my Year's end list. My review of it while on the list, isn't at Number one and I will get to the reason why Dec. 21st. Otherwise, I suggest you get this movie. (Cut to James and KiraKennedy in the main lobby.)

TLOTA:
And now with one of the earliest guests to my Christmas party, my friend KiraKennedy and I are going to do something to close out my Holiday Gift Guide much like the way Siskel and Ebert did, I am going to play a video game with him. Now this here is the Nintendo Switch and he and I are going to play a boxing game, my character to honor the legends I've named mine Roger Ngene.

KiraKennedy:
Subtle nod James, mine I've named well... Kira Kennedy.

TLOTA:
Okay then, let's see how well we do. (Intercut to James and KiraKennedy playing and the game play as James and KiraKennedy have small talk while they play. Cut to the Video Game footage as James' character getting knocked out!)

KiraKennedy:
OH MY GOODNESS! I KNOCKED YOU OUT!

TLOTA:
Oh come on and I was ahead on points, oh well, you did a great job.

KiraKennedy:
Thanks man, Hey listen the rest of the guests are coming, why don't you wrap this up?

TLOTA:
Okay, well if you think that this is a good idea, let me know in the comment section below. So for now enjoy the holidays and don't be afraid to let those who are still with you to let them know you love them. I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. (Cut to James putting on a Fez and walking away. Fade to black. Cut to hours later as James cleans up and The Blockbuster Buster walks up to James)

Blockbuster Buster:
Hey James, everyone else wanted to wait until after the party to talk to you about this but I elected to stay and ask what these invites are for. (Cut to James as he finishes putting up the cleaning supplies)

TLOTA:
A special soiree in a few months. I've got a surprise for everyone. (Cut to The Blockbuster Buster as he pulls out the Hammer!)

Blockbuster Buster:
Well the others have had experience in this situation, if anything crazy happens on purpose or accidental at this event, I WILL MAKE YOU SO SORRY YOU EXIST! (James places his hand on the hammer as to lower it)

TLOTA:
I promise you the following, No Micronation Invasion, No Search for a Magical Gauntlet, No Going to Area 51 to demystify a Video Game myth, No going to space to face off against a plot hole or to face off against Linkara's Robotic duplicate from an alternate dimension and DEFINITELY No going to a haunted mansion where a party to get everyone together because they want to reminisce about what few good days there were together and then have to stop a ghost of an evil entity. All that's going to happen is that there will be some great news. (Cut to The Blockbuster Buster)

Blockbuster Buster:
That better happen, otherwise the Hammer drops on your knobby head! I'll talk to everyone else to see if they'll come. But know this, anything happens and you will be busted! (The Blockbuster Buster puts the hammer up and shouts "ALLONS-Y!" and disappears and James sighs and walks away. Fade to black as the words "To Be Continued...In 2020...In... "The Last Of The Americans: The Movie"....Hopefully". Fade to black)