A taste of the "Rainbow"

(Scene begins with a laser beam in the sky as the music of the 1994 American Gladiators opening theme plays the angle of the camera goes into the laser as four shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as the shadows reveal themselves to be James Faraci in the center, Kent Lilly and Paulo Fonseca on the right and Rebecca Yaun on the left as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving towards the camera, four more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear, and the shadows reveal themselves as Brenda Fonseca on the right, Nick Yaun on the left, and John and Mike Santos and their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame moving forward moving towards the camera, five more shadowed figures with lasered outlines appear as they reveal themselves to be Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on the right, Andrew Beach and Ed Champion on the left, and Olivia Horvath appears in the center as their names appear above the characters. As they run out of frame credits of "Written by James Faraci with assistance from Steve Kidd & Chris Lee Moore, Edited by Eric Kurtzke, Makeup by Olivia Horvath Produced by First Choice Productions, Directed by James Faraci" as it ends the Laser beam disappears and at the 0:28 mark of the theme song the laser beam cut out the words "The" "Last" "Of" "The" appear. At the 0:32-0:36 mark, the term "Americans" start to come forward as it pulls down, and James' Morpher and Sonic Screwdriver is flung into the frame as James grabs both and morphs into The Last Of The Americans and half of team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings "The Last Of The Americans." Cut to James as he looks through the mail)

TLOTA:
Yeah, I just got the mail Rowdy. Oh, you heard about her through the Reviewerverse chatter; I will give it a watch and see if she'll like it. (A voice out of frame says, "Who is she?" as James turns and sees Chad Narducci.)

TLOTA:
Oh, it's you. (Phone makes talking noises) I was talking briefly to the son of a bitch that has tanked my reputation! No, Chad Narducci! Yep, that's him, same guy. Yeah, he made the internet daytime talk show, made that pilot that you sat at, and mentioned that you'd rather watch that show from across the pond again about you know who. Uh-huh, uh-huh, see you in October. Stay Rowdy, dude. Chad, do me a favor and come up with the idea that would say, "Oh, those who were wronged by the "AWESOME" were butt hurt and completely unprofessional and deserves hatred while the "AWESOME" were so innocent!". Seriously, why are you out to end my career? (Cut to Chad Narducci)

Chad Narducci:
Okay, I admit my ideas aren't panning out, but eventually, I'll come up with a great idea to get us going. (Cut to James as he sorts out the mail and gives Chad his mail)

TLOTA:
Here's your mail, and I'm betting a lot of it is rejected ideas that I have to foot the bill to get done. And with most of my budget going to bail you out of your messes, I can only pay for two of the team members at a time, and I told you why I couldn't do Patreon or any of these crowdfunding things without a partnership. (Chad blows James off by going, "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!") Alex, your residuals from your photo tutorials, along with bills. Eric, here's your latest editor's guide, and Olivia, your packages. Oh, and here it is, Baby Kinsleigh's present from Rowdy. "Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer" and a Digital Copy. Okay, everyone, video-checking time for Kinsleigh! (Everyone hops onto the couch as we see everyone get ready to watch the movie. The screen cuts to black with the text "One Viewing Later…" then cuts to everyone as they wonder what it is they just watched and if they had seen it before. Cut to James as he walks away and into his office.)

TLOTA:
Why am I reminded of something I saw 25 years ago? (Cut to the title card of "Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Released in 1985, "Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer" was a movie that did okay but quickly disappeared from the box office. But did it deserve to disappear that? Well, we're about to discover how and why this movie reminded me of something else and if this led to anything more. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Let's not waste any time; this is "Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer." (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
It should be known that the primary producers of the movie were DIC entertainment which made classic kids' shows like "Inspector Gadget," "The Super Mario Brother Super Show," and "The Real Ghostbusters," to name a few of the series they did. The movie opens as we hear this Verruca Salt Brat saying she wants the biggest diamond in the universe and won't stop until she gets it. She's known as "The Princess," and she won't be stopped. (Cut to the intro credits and the song that plays. We soon then cut to a… (Cut to James physically.)

TLOTA:
Yeah, okay, this is interesting. I remember singing that from where I was to help my friend about eight years ago. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
So this is Rainbow Brite as her friends surround her to wake her up and her little fur ball friend Twink has some special dust to help Rainbow Brite create Rainbows. Rainbow makes her way to earth to bring spring to everyone. However, this duo of Murky Dismal and Lurky is out to get Rainbow Brite for one reason. To take the color out of the universe! However, there's this one girl named Stormy who controls winter and rain and wants more rain storms. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And as much as I can't believe I'm saying this, I say let it rain! These droughts have been chaotic. (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.) 

TLOTA (V.O.):
Stormy brings out her horse Skydancer and tries to keep winter around a little longer. Who does she think she is? The Groundhog from Groundhog's Day? However, Rainbow gets the win as she meets up with Brian, who sees that winter is still around and that if spring doesn't happen soon, it might be the end of life as we know it. Why am I reminded of something similar? Rainbow soon returns to her home as On-X meets her, as it delivers a message to Rainbow that Orin, the leader of the planet Spectra, has gone missing. Rainbow goes to find Orin as the Princess from the intro is out to find the greatest diamond in the galaxy, which happens to be the planet Spectra. Helping Rainbow is a kid in a colored armored suit named Krys. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
Something is VERY familiar about this. The largest diamond in the universe, People are freezing to their ends, Armored people trying to stop the bad guy's plans, humorous side villains that are not threatening. Why does this seem so familiar? Maybe if I take a break, it will help. 

(James sits in his office, thinking as the scene fades to black as it then cuts to the 0:36 mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme as it shows James entirely morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings "The Last Of The Americans." Cut to the 0:36 mark of the 1994 American Gladiators theme shows James morphed with the half team TLOTA on his right and the other half on his left as the camera pulls back to see the slab with the markings "The Last Of The Americans." Cut to James in his office, having slugged down his tenth bottle of "Liquid I.Q.”)

TLOTA:
I KNOW I'VE SEEN THIS PLOT BEFORE, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE!

(Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Krys and Rainbow get along as well as… let me say Chad, and I have been getting along better than Krys and Rainbow. When they find the leader of the planet Spectra, he says they're Spectra's only hope to be saved. While that is happening, Murky and Lurky decide to go to Spectra to find Rainbow and take her belt. Rainbow and Krys find a way to get into the Princess's castle and beg her to stop her plans as it will kill everything. The Princess' response? Send Rainbow and Krys to spend eternity on a Prison planet owned by Sargeant Zombo, who takes Starlight and imprisons Rainbow, Krys, and Orin. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I HAVE SEEN THIS PLOT BEFORE! And I already used my commercial break. Maybe I could go to my college to see if they can help. (Cut to James as he goes to his college to work out the elements of the plot and works with his fellow students. Cut to James back in his office.)

TLOTA:
Even my fellow students can't figure out what this plot is about! (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Orin tells Rainbow and Krys the only way to save Spectra is to destroy the Princess's crystal. Starlight gets Rainbow her belt back in a battle between the Princess and her, and as The Princess continues to give the most annoying brat on the planet who needs to get their backside kicked when OH HAI KNUCKLEHEADS! (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
To quote the late Tony Stark in "Marvel's The Avengers." (Cut to the clip as he looks at the interface monitor and says, "Huh, How about that?" (Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
Distracted, Krys and Rainbow destroy the princess' power crystal. Hotter than Texas chili and defeated, The Princess is so upset she destroys a crystal and decides to go full Fury Road to destroy Spectra. However, Rainbow has other plans. (Show clip of Rainbow using her Rainbow powers to destroy the ship. Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
I'm sure she survived. At least, I think she did; if she did, I hope she found herself the same way Jeff Goldblum's Character in "Thor: Ragnarok" did. (Cut to the Princess on Sakarr as she acts just like she did in Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer and then got a beating from the Gladiator Hulk! Cut to the movie as James does a voiceover.)

TLOTA (V.O.):
So the day is saved, life is restored to everyone, and the movie ends as Rainbow returns home with everything back to normal. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And that was "Rainbow Brite and The Star Stealer." It's a good 1980s animated harmless kid's movie. (Cut to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (V.O.):
While the animation quality is what DIC was known for, the voice-acting cast, including Peter Cullen, Pat Fraley, Scott Menville, and Charlie Adler, did a great job. The plot does remind me of something I saw. While I recommend the movie to parents who have young children now, and it gives you a feeling of nostalgia, and you find yourself enjoying it, I hope this is your cup of bright and colorful tea. Find it anywhere you can and enjoy this taste of the Rainbow. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA:
And I know I have harped on this, but why has this movie reminded me of another film? What is the movie that haunts my mind? (A knock on the door is heard.) It's open! (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller at the door.)

Julia Alexa Miller:
James, I thought that after watching that kid's film for Kinsleigh, we'd check out that Robert Pattinson "The Batman" movie. (Cut to James.)

TLOTA:
Batman? Batman! (James sits in his chair until it hits him as he screams in pain as a flood of scenes from Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin" fill his head with distorted audio of "This is why Superman works alone!", "What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!" "I am nature's arm,  her spirit, her will. Hell, I am mother nature, and the time has come for plants to take back the world so rightfully ours!",  then Robin's Scream turns into a monstrous roar as it cuts to James in Rowdy's place with James' face covered in blood and a rainbow. James turns to see a very disturbed look on Rowdy's face.)

Rowdy:
James, What happened? (Cut to James as his hands shake.)

TLOTA:
I don't know! (Fade to black)

In defense of... Superfriends!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to James in his chair)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views I’m about to express are that of my own & some of yours and welcome to another edition of "In Defense Of..."(Show pics of maligned pieces of pop culture while the fanfare from the Olympics  play and James comes up after Vanilla Ice slides back and his right hand thumbs up and the words "In Defense Of..."  before cutting to James in his office quarters.)

TLOTA: Do you want to know how I discovered The Justice League, outside of the Comic books? Well...(Cut to the original "Superfriends" intro before cutting to clips of the different seasons of the series as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Believe it or not I actually watched this series though granted it was in the Syndication market by the time I saw it and it was pared with the Filmation Batman & Superman shorts and my initial reaction was "Wow, this is entertaining." What I didn't know was that there were people who despise it because Superfriends was considered a watered down Justice League. But to be honest if you weren't into Comics, well this was an introduction to those characters. I actually found out about Characters like Wonder Woman, Aquaman, The Flash and all the great DC Comics characters. Most of them anyway. But unfortunately Hanna-Barbera had added their own characters especially in the first season with Wendy, Marvin and WonderDog. It's safe to say why they were traded in for the three original characters most associated with this series The Wonder Twins and their Space Monkey Gleek. I'll say this about them, they weren't as annoying as say the likes of Jar-Jar Binks or Shia LaBeouf. But when one can turn into any form of water & all you need is a Sponge to take that one down and seeing as how the other one can become an animal which might be in season. Yeah, pretty lame duo you've got there. Then there is of course Aquaman, I've got nothing against the guy. Yeah, he commands all sea life, he rules the portion of the Earth covered in water, his skin is tougher than steel, he controls water telekinetically, he founded the Justice League, he's stronger than Superman, he can summon Cthulhu! CTHULU! Yet in this series he's comedic fodder. If the guy can summon Cthulhu, I KNOW I'm toast! So yeah while I'm on the subject of heroes being comedic fodder, Yeah I had to talk about how much they severely disrespected the Man Of Steel in this series. Had it not been for network censors I'm willing to bet Doughnuts to Dollars they would've had every single San Francisco & Fire Island Joke come out of Superman's mouth because they had made him a bigger joke than the late night Superman Musical ABC did! But this series was started before Christopher Reeve starred in the Movies that kick started the Renaissance of the Man Of Steel So the people obviously had no other choice but to make Superman the butt of the joke.(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: So do I hate the Superfriends for making Superman and Aquaman look pathetic when really they're not or for how they misrepresented The Justice League or for the side characters that actually weren't in The Justice League or anything that people have against this series? NO!( Cut to clips of the different seasons of "Superfriends" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I give the series major props for being an introduction to The Justice League in a way The Comics were unable to be. Yes the original characters including "The Wonder Twins" & Gleek were boring, but the later seasons introduced Characters before they were actually deemed cool by the audiences. In the last two series they brought in Darkseid and his crew and for those wondering yes Darkseid is voiced in those series by Frank Welker! And they had brought Cyborg in on the final series voiced by Ernie Hudson Plus they also had some real talent behind the scenes including Alan Burnett, Bob Kane (Yes THE Batman's Creator Bob Kane),  Andrea Romano and so many who would go on to make the DC Characters be done right. So this show should NOT be so easily dismissed. Does the earlier entries in the franchise have it's moments of cheesiness? What series doesn't and the fact it lasted longer than many of the other series during that era must mean it had staying power then as it does today. And if you're as much a fan of this classic series, a good proportion of the series from this time is available on DVD. So if you're a fan you can enjoy it and maybe convince your friend why this series may be as good as you remember it. (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and That's My Opinion!

Is "Batman & Robin" really that bad?

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. As I sat through all the Batman movies for research on which movies I planned on reviewing I knew I'd have to talk about Joel Schumacher's "Batman & Robin" (Cut to opening credit of "Batman & Robin" before cutting to clips of the movie as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And believe it or not this was THE first Batman movie I saw in theaters and I enjoyed it as a matter of fact I thought it was one of the better movies outside of Titanic & Men In Black but apparently it got one hell of a lambasting from the critics but it did make it's money back so obviously people watched it. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: So if people watched it and the movie made it's money back for Warner Brothers though technically it was in the foreign market and in the then burgeoning DVD market why is it considered bad?(Cut to clips of "Batman & Robin" and the previous "Batman" movies as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): I think a lot of it came from the fact that it was rushed. Because it was in 1986 that the first "Batman" movie was in Pre-Production and didn't come out until three years later becoming one of the best "Batman" movies ever. The Sequel "Batman Returns" didn't get released until 1992 three years after the first one. Then in 1995 three years after "Batman Returns" did we get "Batman Forever" but then two years after that did we get "Batman & Robin". So obviously they were working with somethings about the characters and the story and the plot that was obviously incomplete. Like the fact instead of it being Barbara Gordon being Batgirl, It was Alfred's "Niece" and I put those quotation marks because Barbara Wilson played by Alicia Silverstone while wasn't bad as Batgirl left something to be desired when it came to the role because A) Alicia Silverstone didn't try to hide her American Accent with something closer to Alfred's actor Michael Gough and his accent & B) She didn't feel a part of anything involving anything with The Dynamic Duo until the third act, up until then it was like a five second moment trying to give depth to her and nothing came from it. Then we have the problems with Robin. He sounds like he's trying to make certain points about how the partnership between the two isn't working well. I know the gag is this bit from the Nostalgia Critic's review of this when it comes to him trying to be heard makes him less of a character and more of a whiney pansy, but when Batman doesn't explain why he's acting the way he does because of the experiences he had in both the Tim Burton movies of course Batman is gonna look like a bat-dick and while I'm on the subject of Batman himself, as I stated before in my "In Defense of ...Bat-Fleck" episode George Clooney wasn't a bad choice to play the Dark Knight, he was just underutilized. He didn't play Batman as a dark figure but I think at that point he wasn't at least George Clooney didn't think Batman was as Dark a figure as he was in the first movies but he should've been more of a mentor or teacher to Robin so he could've avoided the pitfalls of falling for an enemy like when Bruce fell for Selina Kyle in Batman Returns but neither of them found out their alter-egos until the middle of the third act. But instead he became condescending towards Robin and questioned everything he did because it wasn't how he would've handled it. But there is a positive to his performance, he was introspective when it came to his past. He wasn't haunted by his parents murder rather he was inspired to be better and do better to save Gotham both as Bruce Wayne as a Philanthropic person and as Batman when he puts on the cape and cowl and takes down the bad guys and speaking of them we have Mr. Freeze played by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Poison Ivy played by Uma Thurman who probably knew the movie wasn't good but they decided to do their best with what they had though I do wish they had tone down the Ice Puns with Mr. Freeze and I did hope Uma Thurman would've sound less whiny than Robin but that's while she was trying to ram her eco-terroristic views down everyone's throats while also trying to seduce people. Another problem the production had was too many opinions and not enough people saying no as I found out in Oliver Harper's reviews The People running the toy line wanted a whole lot of costumes and vehicles for characters which I think explains all the costumes Poison Ivy had as well as the way the Batmobile and everything other vehicle in this movie looked like a something a little kid would have. If Joel Schumacher had the stones to say if you're interested in your own way of doing this, I would be glad to hand the reigns over to you but since I'm the director I'm doing it the way I wanted to. Which leads me to the next problem of this movie Joel Schumacher instead of standing up with a vision and a story to tell he had a cluster of too many cooks in his kitchen which lead to him apologizing throughout his commentary track on the movie and he also let us know he screwed the pooch in his own way when it came to making this movie! (Cut to James Physically)

TLOTA: So is "Batman & Robin" really that bad? Not really.(Cut to clips of "Batman & Robin" as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): It's not one of the worse movies I've ever seen, in fact I'd rather watch "Batman & Robin" than some of the movies I've seen and reviewed, it's not the worst comic book movie adaptation, I've seen way, way, way worse Comic book adaptations than "Batman & Robin" (Cut to the DVD Cover of Seth Rogen's "Green Hornet" and James says "HINT! HINT!" before cutting to clips of "Batman & Robin" as James continues his voiceover) it is not the worst Batman movie I've seen, trust me there is one to which I have NOTHING Positive to say about. As for "Batman & Robin" there are some positives I have yet to mention to come out of this movie for example the soundtrack and the orchestral soundtrack was aggressively enjoying. (Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And then there is this moment in the Nostalgia Critic's review (Cut to The moment in The Nostalgia Critic's review of "Batman & Robin" in which Poison Ivy shouts out "CURSES!" And it then cuts to The Nostalgia Critic "GOD DAMN THIS MOVIE!  THEY DID IT! THEY FINALLY DID IT! BATMAN HAS DRIVEN ME BAT-SHIT CRAZY!" (Nostalgia Critic goes bonkers for Banana balls) before cutting to James physically.)

TLOTA: What did you expect? Me to use the Bat-Credit Card? (Cut to the Nostalgia Critic going bonkers for Banana Balls after shouting "A BAT-CREDIT CARD?!" and shooting up the place before cutting to James constantly ducking stray bullet rounds)

TLOTA: Now look at what happened, Got to get going anyway, I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that's my opinion(Nostalgia Critic is still going off as a bullet nicks James scalp and James runs off screen.)