(Scene starts in
James’ office as several well-known personalities from Channel Awesome, all the
contributors to Rowdyc.com, several members of the cast of “GLEE” including Lea
Michele, Naya Rivera, Chris Colfer, Kevin McHale, Harry Shum Jr, Darren Criss &
Chord Overstreet when James opens the Backdoor and everyone turns to see James
wearing a Fez.)
TLOTA: I know
we’ve all had possibly one of the roughest years ever. But there have been
great moments that have happened. (Cut to Paw & The Maven Of The Eventide
holding their son Grey and two goblets of Punch before cutting back to James.)
As well as some sad moments. (Show a tribute photo of Justin “JewWario”
Carmical with a bucket of money going to be sent to Justin’s Widow Jenny and The Last Angry Geek dropping a fifty dollar bill in the bucket and sadly nodding away before
cutting back to James) But the fact we’re all here is worth something to
celebrate, so I think this should be a celebration of everything we have
accomplished and everything good. So let’s have fun! (Everyone cheers as
“Jingle Bells” jazzy instrumental plays as camera cuts to find The Cinema Snob,
Ace Gamer, Bennett The Sage and Chord Overstreet having a conversation.)
Sage: So Do you
think we’ll have the hover conversions that Back To The Future Part Two claimed
we would have?
Ace Gamer: If it’s
affordable.
Cinema Snob: As
long as we get the rumored revival of Crystal Pepsi, everything in 2015 should
be amazing.
Chord Overstreet:
Well the last thirteen episode of GLEE air so you guys must be dancing with
joy. (Everyone nods yep as scene cuts to Paulo Fonseca, Mathew “Film Brain”
Buck, and Harry Shum Jr & Kevin McHale.)
Paulo: So you and
James were going to review this movie and what happened?
Film Brain: Well,
James became catatonic, An Internet Persona named Trina Mason drank the only
thing that could revive him, I spent hours trying to recreate the formula only
for James to remain unconscious up until an hour before Lea’s concert.
Harry Shum Jr.:
Yeah that was a great concert.
Kevin McHale: And
James had fun. He and I danced our butts off and from what I heard James and
the two had a fun post-concert night. (Scene cuts to The Comic Strip critic
& Linkara having a conversation.)
Comic Strip
Critic: Well you may never read another Spider-Man comic book as long as you
live. There is a comic strip version I may review one day. Anything I can
expect.
Linkara: Yes,
Stupidity! (Cut to Malcolm whispering quietly when Tamara smacks him upside the
head.)
Tamara: What are
you doing?
Malcolm: Oh
Praying.
Tamara: For what?
Malcolm: For Hyper
Fan Girl not to appear.
Tamara: Oh, Oh
OOOHHH, Can I join you?
Malcolm: The More
the merrier. (The two quietly pray as scene cuts to The Nostalgia Critic, The
Angry Video Game Nerd, Nash & Phelous having a conversation then running
into Rebecca’s boyfriend Nick.)
Nostalgia Critic:
I’m telling you I am going to need your help in reviewing it.
AVGN: It’s
tempting.
Nash: But wasn’t
it as bad as people thought it would be?
Phelous: Nash,
Nash, Nash, This is Michael Bay we’re talking about of course it’s going to be
bad, just like his future movie project with Benghazi.
Nostalgia Critic:
Phelous, Tell me you’re joking.
Phelous: Afraid
not. (Phelous bumps into Nick) Watch where you’re going!
Nick: Sorry about
that I’m looking for Rebecca.
AVGN: Who?
Nick: Rebecca, My
girlfriend. (The Wrestling Mark collides with everyone else.)
The Wrestling
Mark: She should be over by James, Rowdy & Lea. You’ll know who James is by
the Black Tee-Shirt with the American Flag on it and the fact he’s wearing a
Fez.
Nick: Thanks man,
have I got a surprise for her.
The Wrestling
Mark: No Problem. (Nick walks off)
Nostalgia Critic:
Wonder what that’s all about?
AVGN: Should we
want to know?
Everyone: Nah.
(Cut to James, Lea, Rebecca and Rowdy.)
Rowdy: You know
something, this is one swinging shindig.
TLOTA: Thanks man.
Who knew everyone could get along so well?
Lea Michele (Audio
Only): Oh James look up! (James looks up to see mistletoe and then looks down
to see Lea kiss him on the mouth with a kiss that is so strong it knocks the
Fez right off of James’ head like a cork popping off a bottle of Champagne.)
TLOTA: YOWZA!
Rebecca: Very nice
move Lea.
Lea Michele:
Thanks Rebecca. (Loud shout of WOO-HOO!
Has everyone look at the front door. As scene cuts to the front door to
reveal that Hyper Fan Girl has found her way to James’ party.)
Hyper Fan Girl:
Hyper Fan Girl here ready for my Critic! (Cut to the Nostalgia Critic)
Nostalgia Critic:
Oh my GOD! HIDE ME! (Cut to James & Rebecca)
TLOTA: How did she
find the place?
Rebecca: Well I
saw her a few days ago and asked if she’d like to have some fun with my friend
and all of his friends who just so happen to be Internet Reviewers she asked if
my friend knew if the Nostalgia Critic. I said yes, she said she’d bring
something big for him.
Rowdy (Audio
only): For who? (Rowdy walks into frame and James points towards Hyper Fan Girl
and all of a sudden the camera zooms to Rowdy’s face then the audio of “Bad
Medicine” from Bon Jovi is heard from the 0:07 mark as the camera zooms to
Hyper Fan Girl with the wind in her hair in slow motion and scene cuts back to
the close up of Rowdy at the 0:15 mark of “Bad Medicine”)
Rowdy:
Homina-Homina HOW-WOW! (0:15-0:39 of “Bad Medicine” audio is heard as
everything shows Hyper Fan Girl walking in slow motion and a fan is blowing on
her as camera cuts back to Rowdy having a “You are MINE” look in his eyes and
he walks up to Hyper Fan Girl, places his hat on her head then proceeds to kiss
Hyper Fan Girl on the lips before cutting back to James, Rebecca & Rowdy.)
Rebecca: What’s
wrong with your friend?
TLOTA: Well,
judging by the look on his face. I’d say he’s falling hard for Hyper Fan Girl.
Rebecca: Who?
TLOTA: The girl
you invited?!
Rebecca: Oh yeah.
Why would Rowdy fall for her?
TLOTA: I don’t
know. The world works in mysterious ways but I think we may need to nip this
one in the bud get the last resort and hurry. (0:40-0:43 of “Bad Medicine”
audio is heard as the scene shows Rowdy and Hyper Fan Girl kissing as scene
cuts to James snapping his fingers trying to snap Rowdy out of it.)
TLOTA: Rowdy?
Rowdy? CHRIS! (0:43-0:47 of “Bad Medicine” audio is heard as scene cuts back to
Rowdy & Hyper Fan Girl kissing. Scene cuts to Rowdy thrusting his hips and
James is standing the opposite direction of Rowdy as the audio mark from
0:56-1:06 of “Bad Medicine” is heard as scene cuts to Rowdy & Hyper Fan
Girl continue to kiss and scene cuts to Rebecca getting James “The Last Resort”
and showing it to Rowdy which makes scream as audio mark from 1:06-1:12 of “Bad
Medicine” is heard until Rowdy Screams!)
Hyper Fan Girl
(Audio only): Wow, who was that? (Rowdy runs to Hyper Fan Girl)
Rowdy: That would
be me. My friends call me Rowdy but you may call me yours! (Rowdy kisses Hyper
Fan Girl on the hand and Hyper Fan Girl giggles and scene cuts to James rolling
his eyes then cuts to Rebecca finding her boyfriend and Nick giving her one
hell of a kiss.)
Nick: Hey Rebecca,
I have to say your friend and his associates are quite eccentric.
Rebecca: Well,
James has always been eccentric, you however are amazing.
Nick: Well, I’m
about to make you amazing. CAN I HAVE EVERYONE’S ATTENTION? (All the noise
stops.) I have to admit you’re not exactly the crowd I wanted to do this but
you’ll do. (Everyone laughs) Okay, I want to say the following to this lovely
woman in front of me is more amazing than watching you guys critique a movie or
TV series. But this moment will be something none of you will forget. Rebecca
Fonseca, (Nick gets down on one knee) Will you do me the honor of becoming my
wife? (Rebecca giggles and cries for a few seconds then says yes and everyone
applauds with James & Lea having a sad smile on their face before cutting to
a few hours after the Party with James, Lea, Paulo, Rebecca and Nick on Clean
up duty.)
Lea Michele: You
have to admit, that was an amazing party.
Paulo Fonseca: The
fact Nick proposed to you was something out of left field.
Rebecca Fonseca:
Well, It is so AMAZING how I feel now. (Cut to James doing the dishes)
TLOTA: I just
wonder where that groaning noise is coming from. ORAC, As soon as you can find
out where that groaning noise is coming from.
ORAC (Audio only):
I shall take care of that task after finishing the trilogy of movies January
through March you will review on Ben Affleck.
TLOTA: Thanks.
(Cut to Nick cleaning up and finding a gift for James from Santa Christ)
Nick (Audio only):
Hey James, There’s something here for you from Santa Christ. (James puts the
last of the Dishes in the Sanitizer and runs to find Nick with James’ gift.)
TLOTA: Thanks
Nick, There’s a letter here. (James reads the Letter aloud.) “Dear James, Sorry
I didn’t get a chance to get this to you earlier, but I left this here before I
left, a little something for you to enjoy on the Holidays. Have a better 2015
than 2014 would ever have been. Your friend Santa Christ.” Well that was nice
of Santa Christ I wonder what it could be. (James unwraps the gift.) Oh boy, Oh
Whoa Oh WOW! I know what to do with these!
(Music from the
last seasons of the Original Run of American Gladiators play as a Speedy shot
of James Faraci riding with Santa on his sleigh is seen, then throwing
snowballs, then singing Christmas Carols with The Muppets, then baking cookies,
then Waxing Rudolph’s red nose to add to the brightness and pal around with
Frosty before fading away to see a picture of the North Pole Santa Workshop
appears in the background as Jesus Christ, Santa Claus and Santa Christ appear
in the foreground as all three stand as a Christmas Tree land over them and
James Faraci stands alongside the Christmas tree with a smile on his face and
in Holiday text the words of The Last Of The Americans stand by his side as
Jingling Bells and snow falls in the intro)
TLOTA: I’m James
Faraci, The Last Of The Americans and the views that I’m about to express are
that of my own and some of yours. (James holds onto his chair and the ground
begins to shake as he lets go of the chair James is rocketed into the upper
atmosphere over the world.) CHRISTMAS! (Cut to footage of Christmas scenes from
Public Domain animated cartoons and a big band instrumental version of “We Wish
You A Merry Christmas” while James does a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice
over): Yep, it’s that time of year again filled with joy, merriment and all that
we want to see that is good in the world come out of us and of course we once
again get our binge of Christmas Specials and movies. (Cut to James
physically.)
TLOTA: And two of
my favorite movies during this time is Home Alone & Home Alone 2! (Cut to
Clips from both Home Alone Movies featuring Macaulay Culkin while James does a
voice over)
TLOTA (Voice Over):
And for good reason, the stories while similar are well written and the
character dynamic was fantastic, the acting was amazing and the fact people
remember these two while the other three no one remembers is for good reason.
They’re so great that reviewing them wouldn’t do it justice. (Cut to James
physically)
TLOTA: So I
decided instead to count down twelve of my favorite moments from both those
movies. Why 12? Because it is CHRISTMAS! These are the twelve moments that I
loved from “Home Alone” & “Home Alone 2” (Cut to the image of the house
from in-between the words “Home Alone” slowly goes back while “The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground
while different clips from both movies play including many scenes in which
Harry & Marv are getting comically hurt before cutting back to the house
and the words “The Top Twelve moments I like from “Home Alone” & “Home
Alone 2” and as the music ends the house going back and the number moves
forward while James counts and talks about that moment during those last few
seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 12
12) Everyone’s reaction
to what Frank said to compare what is happening with his nephew being left home
alone in “Home Alone”
TLOTA (Voice
Over): While it was an actual honest reaction for the parents played by John
Heard & Catherine O’Hara to be concerned about their child and rightfully
so, listen to Frank played by Gerry Bamman as his reaction is so wrong and yet
so humorous you know somewhere inside he already knows he’s going to get a
whole ton of coal for Christmas because as I said The Parents are concerned,
Frank very poorly tried to make light of things.
Frank: I left my
glasses back home.
TLOTA (Voice
Over): No one in that situation would either care about or laugh at that
sentence but somehow humor found its way into it because they all looked at
Frank as an inhumane idiot and their reaction to what Frank said makes its way
to this list.
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 11
11) How Kevin
handle the situations in both movies.
TLOTA (Voice
Over): What I really, truly enjoy about these two movies is Kevin’s ability to
be able to adapt to the situation whether it’s going to get groceries or
surviving the streets of New York City or even defending himself and his
domicile against two thieves. If Kevin had grown up the way I think he did. I’d
probably see him being able to run a security company. I mean he was able to
survive a situation most adults would’ve wound up either dead or injured but
not only did he beat the duo, not only did he survive, he flourished and while
Kevin still remains a kid he’s wiser and knows that he won’t be hurt by the
world and knowing that Kevin would survive the moments that’d knock any other
person down to size makes it worthy of being on this list.
(“The Russian Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s
Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as the music ends and the house
going back, the number moves forward while James counts and talks about that
moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 10
10) Tim Curry in
“Home Alone 2”
TLOTA (Voice
Over): This guy was a hoot to enjoy in the second movie as opposed to say
watching a frame of Rob Schneider in this movie. You could tell that the wheels
were already in motion the second he saw Kevin. But when he gets fooled by the
“Angels with Even Filthier Souls” moment kind of made me realize that even the
smartest people can be fooled by the simplest things. But for whatever reason
seeing him try to outwit someone who outwitted two guys trying to rob his place
with simple things around his house is kind of fun and you can tell that Tim
was having fun as the character of the Concierge and for me is a highlight of
“Home Alone 2”
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 9
9) The Dark
moments from both movies
TLOTA (Voice
Over): With something this comedic, you wouldn’t think that there are dark
moments in it but listen to Buzz talking about the old man with the salt.
According to Buzz, he’s a monster not that dissimilar to “The Joker” from “The
Dark Knight” (Show clip of Buzz thinking what the back story of the salt man
before cutting to James shiver in his seat and say Yowza to himself before
going back to the clips and James doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): And throughout the entirety of the movie Kevin looks as if he’s about to
soil his Superman “Fruit Of The Looms” until The Salt Man confronts him at a
Church and lets him know that he’s not the monster and we discover he’s only an
ordinary guy and he’s like everyone else and like Kevin we felt a sigh of
relief when we discover that and when The Salt Man knocks Harry & Marv
unconscious and brings Kevin home we knew he was a good man. But in the second
movie the dark moments happen at once especially in New York City. (Cut to
James physically)
TLOTA: And as a
person who was born in the state of New York everyone thinks I can walk the
streets of the big city and I cannot be scared of what goes on in the dark.
Okay, let’s straighten some misconceptions out. When I say I’m from New York, I
don’t mean… (Show a picture of New York City and James shouts “THERE!” over it
before going back to James physically.) I mean… (Show an overview of the
Catskill Mountains and James shouts “THERE!” over it before going back to the
clips of “Home Alone 2” and James doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): And believe me while in the daytime the city looks nice in the movie.
Once it’s nighttime the freaks, monsters and every scary thing comes out at
once and we feel the fear Kevin does during this time and heightening the scariness
is a bird lady that throughout the first act that is covered in Pigeons and
looks like she hasn’t smiled since 1963 and it isn’t until Kevin is stuck that
Kevin realizes the thing we did. Just like in the first movie the one thing
people should’ve scared us isn’t scary at all but those moments that scare us
remind us to enjoy the lighthearted moments all the more.
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 8
8) The fast paced
moment when the family leaves the house in both movies.
TLOTA (Voice
Over): I know that it represents the fact that the family is trying to catch up
with the oversleeping but there was something about it that I liked whether it
was the comical overreaction of the parents or perhaps the music provided by
John Williams setting the tone of the scenes or maybe it showed something else
like that usual fast paced Go-Go attitude that we get around this time of the
year that we spent far more time going around and around that we miss the
little subtle in between notes in the songs of life which is why in the first
movie they overshot Kevin by a mile and he was left alone throughout the
majority of the movie or maybe it was just funny to see so many people rushing
to get to the same place at the same time and forgetting Kevin in the first
one. But while Kevin avoided sequelitis by getting to the van in the second
one, it just seemed like one of those things we laugh and think about during
this time of year.
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 7
7) Harry &
Marv
TLOTA (Voice
Over): What can I say? The chemistry between Joe Pesci & Daniel Stern was
incredible. I cannot imagine anyone but these two as Harry & Marv. Harry
was the brains that got stuck with someone who wasn’t the sharpest sharpshooter
at the gun range but you could tell that when all the synapses were firing in
Marv’s head, the two couldn’t be stopped except for a little kid with a house
filled with traps that would leave people in the Hospital. But even if the kid
wasn’t there something tells me these two would find a way to screw a job up.
(Cut to a green screened shot of the inside of the house where Harry is played
by Rowdy & Marv by Paulo Fonseca)
Harry: Okay Marv,
you know that the safe is on the second floor right?
Marv: Yeah.
Harry: You got the
tools to break into the safe.
Marv: Yeah and
just in case, I can cut the hinges to the door to the vault with this handsaw.
Harry: Come on,
just grab it and bring it down as quickly as you can.
Marv: Okay. (Marv
walks off screen while Harry walks the opposite way and two seconds later Harry
comes back with his sack filled.)
Harry: Hey Marv!
Hurry up!
Marv (Audio only):
Harry, this thing is bolted to the floor. I’m going to use the saw to cut it
loose
Harry: Well do
what you got to do. (Two second pause while Harry’s eyes expand) Marv! Marv!
Wait! Wait! Don’t do that! DON’T DO THAT! (Photo of the safe crushing Harry as
Marv screams as he falls through the floor and off-screen then say Ow! And the
home owner played by Rebecca Fonseca coming in on the right.)
Homeowner: Hmm.
(Walks over to the phone) 911 emergency. There are two thieves who have been
incapacitated on 428 Vaccaro Drive could you send an ambulance and the police
to pick up the two (Cut back to the footage of Harry & Marv while James
does a voice over)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Whether or not. These two were just absolutely worthy of being on this
list because they were just hilariously funny.
(Cut to James
physically)
TLOTA: Now I know
some if not a LOT of you are wondering where are those traps, the injuries that
would send normal people to the Hospital in a body bag, the slapstick shtick.
Clarity will come after the break.
ORAC (Audio only):
I have found the source of the groaning.
TLOTA: Well where
is it ORAC?
ORAC (Audio only):
In the bathroom. (Cut to James looking in the bathroom as his eyes enlarge as
the audio is that of two people groaning romantically before James walks
backwards and closes the door and back into Paulo & Rebecca)
Paulo: James you
okay?
Rebecca: You look
like you saw the most disturbing thing no man should see.
TLOTA: HOW DID YOU
KNOW? DID YOU LOOK IN TO SEE YOUR BUDDY AND A CRAZY FAN GIRL TO ANY INTERNET
REVIEWER DOING THE IN-BED TANGO IN THE BATHTUB?
Paulo &
Rebecca: No. Why? Did you?
TLOTA: Let’s just
say I’m going to call my friend’s Genie to knock my friend unconscious and ship
him back to the Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington area of Texas and send her to the
nuthouse where she belongs. (James walks away looking disturbed while Paulo
& Rebecca are left to ponder what he saw.)
Rebecca: Did James
say Genie? Like (Does the arms cross and blinking while jerking her head
movement Jeannie does in “I Dream Of Jeannie”) that type of Genie
Paulo: I think so.
Rebecca: James has
some weird people in his life.
(Commercial Sting with
American Gladiators first run's final season's ten seconds theme with
James Standing alongside a Christmas tree to Holiday Text saying The Last of
the Americans. While the sound of Jingling bells and the sight of snow falling are
covering the sting then same moment returns to the review)
TLOTA: Okay, now
that my sanity is back to normal. Let’s get back to the countdown. (“The
Russian Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back
ground and as the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward
while James counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of
the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 6
6) The blow torch
to Harry’s scalp from both movies.
TLOTA (Voice
Over): What I liked about this trap is while the first time is Harry’s reaction
was priceless just standing there while he took it. The second go around gives
it more time before he reacts and when Harry dunks his flaming scalp in the
toilet filled with clear Kerosene well… (Show the outside of the house and a
flash bang from the inside of the house) need I say more. Yeah I know in real
life he’d be hurt to the point where he’d be history but when you have to
suspend the disbelief that means you’re going to survive something that deadly
as if a fly landed on your head. But what else can be said except. (Show clip
of Harry screaming as his scalp is being burned in “Home Alone” and James
sings)
TLOTA (Singing
voice over): Harry’s head roasting on an open fire!
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 5
5) The Tool Chest
coming down the stairs from “Home Alone 2”
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Something original in a sequel?
CALL RIPLEY’S! Because this was incredibly funny and the fact Harry & Marv
DIDN’T see it coming adds on to the humor of this. After getting up from a hole
in the basement and going up the stairs, Harry & Marv find Kevin running up
another flight of stairs to which the doorknob is tied to a rope, the rope is
tied taught to a tool chest, the doorknob gets pulled and next thing Harry
& Marv know (Show clip of The Tool Chest hitting the door and Harry and
Marv screaming as the door and the tool chest slam the two into the wall.)
WHAM! Something with that amount of force would’ve flatten the duo into
flapjacks but for the sheer entertainment of it, I had to include it into this
list.
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 4
4) Electric Marv
from “Home Alone 2”
TLOTA (Voice
Over): After falling in the basement and slipping into a shelving filled with
paint. Marv decides to clean himself up at a sink in the basement which just so
happened to be hooked up to an AC/DC ARC generator which results in… (Show clip
of Marv doing the shake dance as he is slowly electrocuted until Marv is a
‘Fro, a beard and a screaming skeleton before letting go and looks
electrocuted.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Yeah, Marv rode the lightning and LIVED! I know in real life he would’ve
looked like Michael Jeter after being electrocuted in “The Green Mile” but
remember a lot of what is going on is A LIVE ACTION CARTOON! No one will EVER
survive being electrocuted to that degree but this moment is so funny, if I
didn’t I’d be forced to walk “The Green Mile” myself with Tom Hanks giving the
call to juice me until I was ash!
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 3
3) The Paint cans
of pain! From both of the movies.
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Probably one of the most if not the most memorable gag. Why? Because of
the timing and the reaction. NO ONE reacts to a paint can like Marv when he
sees it coming. He doesn’t look like he sees something coming but knows enough
to know what’s coming and when it is gonna hit him, it should’ve knocked the
guy senseless. Instead he’s aware enough to try to warn Harry’s reaction is
just as good. But that was the first one. In the second one they’re somewhat aware
of what he can do. So as the two ready to go up the steps, they dodge one
bullet with the paint cans but not the cast iron banister! (Show Kevin tossing
the cast iron pipe as Harry & Marv look and Marv says Oops as the cast iron
pipe clocks them.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): What else can be said except…? Who knew paint cans could cause such
damage?
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): Number 2
2) “Angels With
Filthy Souls” & it’s sequel “Angels With Even Filthier Souls”
Boy was I
surprised when I first discovered that these two movies weren’t real. Heck when
I discovered IMDB I figured I’d check out if those movies were real and to my
shock they were pseudo-films and both were used for good use. I especially
loved when Kevin used it for Pizza and when he mixed it well enough to scare
Marv off. But in Home Alone 2: Lost In New York when he has to outrun The
Concierge and most of the staff. He goes to the Stand-By Sequel and the results
are hilarious. (Show clip of the Hotel Staff being outwitted by the “Angels
With Even Filthier Souls” before James continues doing a voice over.)
TLOTA (Voice over)
But if The Concierge said this.
The Concierge:
STAY IN YOUR ROOMS! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! THERE IS AN INSANE GUEST WITH A GUN!
TLOTA (Voice
Over): I’d double check where I was. But it is amazing and funny how he used
the clips and it is worthy of making this list. (Cut to Kevin in the first
movie mouthing “Keep the change you filthy animal!”)
(“The Russian
Dance Trepak” from Tchiakovsky’s Nutcracker Suite plays in the back ground and as
the music ends and the house going back, the number moves forward while James
counts and talks about that moment during those last few seconds of the song.)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): And the Number one moment I liked from “Home Alone” & “Home Alone 2”
is…
1) The Mom’s
dogged determination to get to Kevin from “Home Alone”. (Cut to James
physically)
TLOTA: I know in
the second one, it would’ve been nice to see the mom & Kevin take down
Harry & Marv with Kevin’s plan and after Harry says this (Cut to clip of
Harry saying “Nothing more would thrill me more greatly than to shoot you.
Before cutting to James physically again.) I could only hear it now. (Show pic
of Harry & Marv looking up at the roof and Catherine O’Hara shouting
threats of death if someone were to harm her kids before cutting to the clip of
the mom doing whatever it took to get home while James does a voice over)
TLOTA (Voice
Over): But I felt the journey she took in the first one felt more epic and as
someone with three nieces. Twins with a little sister I understand where she’s
coming from because I’d do the same thing for them and after hearing this… (Cut
to the clip in which The Mom screaming she’d do anything to get home to the
Airline clerk.)
TLOTA (Voice
over): I think she would do what she’d say to protect her son & although
the journey she took was great it nearly ended in tragedy had it not been for
the help of a cameo of the late great John Candy and his polka band getting her
home on Christmas just for the heartwarming moment and let’s face it after all
she had to go through, it was probably worth it just to apologize to her son on
Christmas and it was worth it to make it to the number one moment on my
countdown. (Cut to James physically)
TLOTA: So that’s the
12 moments I liked from “Home Alone” & “Home Alone 2” and if you don’t like
it after seeing it, what’s wrong with you?
(Cut to clips of
“Home Alone” & “Home Alone 2: Lost In New York” while James does a voice
over.)
TLOTA (Voice Over):
Okay maybe I’m being harsh to those who don’t understand these movies because
the way I see them is as classic as “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer” or any of
the movies and specials that have been seen around this time of year. There is
something about these two that are amazing that I can’t seem to grasp and maybe
that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes not understanding why you like something
makes it better for you to enjoy it. The characters are interesting, the
stories while similar are unique enough to be considered original enough to be
connected and the music by John Williams is amazing and if you get it, I
suggest that you find it and see things that you’ll like as well. (Cut to
James, Paulo & Rebecca in the same room.)
TLOTA: So, I hope
that my friends and I will see you in 2015 anything else you guys want to throw
in.
Paulo: Well I hope
that everyone have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Rebecca: And in
that New Year may we all strive for better.
TLOTA: Don’t we
all Rebecca? (Rebecca nods as if to say, That’s True.) I’m James Faraci The
Last Of The Americans.
Paulo &
Rebecca: And that’s your opinion.
TLOTA: No, what I
was going to say and wish is the same thing EVERYONE wishes & says around
this time of the year.
Rebecca: Which
is…? (James & Paulo look at Rebecca with a “Seriously” look on their faces.)
Oh yeah.
TLOTA, Rebecca
& Paulo: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYBODY!
