(A Hand pulling out a card designed by Stevie
Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while
putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 then
cut to James jumping down a cliff from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from
the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme
from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci landing and
fully morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans basic mode with his
Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and
Black Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of
American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James fighting alongside the
2017 Power Rangers Movie Power Rangers at the 0:13 mark from the theme from the
final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:14-0:17 show Rebecca Yaun
as Wonder Woman and Nick Yaun as Steve Trevor charging the screen before
cutting to John and Mike Santos peeling out in The DeLorean From “Back To The
Future” before cutting to the 0:17-0:19 mark as it shows Paulo & Brenda
Fonseca taking a joyride in KITT from “Knight Rider” in Super Pursuit Mode
before cutting to the 0:20-0:28 mark as we see Eric Kurtzke, Ed Champion and
Andrew Beach flying the USS Enterprise from “Star Trek” (2009) and Olivia
Horvath flying The Orville as it cuts to the 0:28 mark from the theme from the
final season of American Gladiators shows when James stands on top of his Time
and Space device and tosses his sonic screwdriver then cuts over to multiple
clips from the past five years of “The Last Of The Americans” reviews as the
Sonic Screwdriver flips end over end as the 0:36 mark from the theme from the
final season of American Gladiators original run plays when James grabs it
while on top of a slab while doing a heroic pose with DukeCT, Paulo & Brenda
Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath on his right and
Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Renee Miller, Andrew Beach & Ed Champion on his
left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from
the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the
camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the
words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to James and Julia Alexa
Miller walking around the Studio)
TLOTA:
I’d really like you to be there, my brother is competing in this Super Chef Battle and not only would he like to meet you, so would the rest of the family before my sister moves to Florida. Have you ever seen the show? Here’s the Intro to it (James pulls out his Tablet and puts on it the intro as it cuts to the Intro of “Super Chefs” as Ed Champion, Andrew Beach, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath dress up like Chefs prepping food while Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos dressed like “Iron Chef” knockoffs prepping food as an announcer played by James does a voiceover)
I’d really like you to be there, my brother is competing in this Super Chef Battle and not only would he like to meet you, so would the rest of the family before my sister moves to Florida. Have you ever seen the show? Here’s the Intro to it (James pulls out his Tablet and puts on it the intro as it cuts to the Intro of “Super Chefs” as Ed Champion, Andrew Beach, Renee Miller, Eric Kurtzke, Olivia Horvath dress up like Chefs prepping food while Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Brenda Fonseca, John & Mike Santos dressed like “Iron Chef” knockoffs prepping food as an announcer played by James does a voiceover)
Announcer (Voiceover):
“Super Chef” World Renowned Chefs from across the world have been gathered to The Mega-Kitchen and to face The Super Chefs! Super Chef Stefan DiBona (Cut to Stefan DiBona played by Nick Yaun standing ready in the Kitchen)
“Super Chef” World Renowned Chefs from across the world have been gathered to The Mega-Kitchen and to face The Super Chefs! Super Chef Stefan DiBona (Cut to Stefan DiBona played by Nick Yaun standing ready in the Kitchen)
“Super Chef” Stefan DiBona:
I will sauté you into defeat! (Cut to clips of Rebecca Yaun as she cooks)
I will sauté you into defeat! (Cut to clips of Rebecca Yaun as she cooks)
Announcer (Voiceover):
Super Chef Rocio Lopez (Cut to Rocio Lopez played by Rebecca Yaun standing ready in the Kitchen)
Super Chef Rocio Lopez (Cut to Rocio Lopez played by Rebecca Yaun standing ready in the Kitchen)
“Super Chef” Rocio Lopez:
Get ready to feel the spice of failure! (Cut to John Santos as he cooks)
Get ready to feel the spice of failure! (Cut to John Santos as he cooks)
Announcer (Voiceover):
Super Chef Edward Nardole (Cut to Edward Nardole played by John Santos standing ready in the kitchen)
Super Chef Edward Nardole (Cut to Edward Nardole played by John Santos standing ready in the kitchen)
“Super Chef” Edward Nardole:
When I get Salty, you go down and it gets SWEEET! (Cut to Brenda Fonseca as she cooks)
When I get Salty, you go down and it gets SWEEET! (Cut to Brenda Fonseca as she cooks)
Announcer (Voiceover):
Super Chef Antonia Gomez! (Cut to Antonia Gomez played by Brenda Yaun standing ready in the kitchen)
Super Chef Antonia Gomez! (Cut to Antonia Gomez played by Brenda Yaun standing ready in the kitchen)
“Super Chef” Antonia Gomez:
The Mega-Kitchen is my Domain! You face me, and the burn will be worse than any tweet! (Cut to Mike Santos as he cooks)
The Mega-Kitchen is my Domain! You face me, and the burn will be worse than any tweet! (Cut to Mike Santos as he cooks)
Announcer (Voiceover):
And Super Chef Shawn McGee! (Cut to Shawn McGee played by Mike Santos standing ready in the kitchen)
And Super Chef Shawn McGee! (Cut to Shawn McGee played by Mike Santos standing ready in the kitchen)
“Super Chef” Shawn McGee:
Can you withstand my “Pressure Cooker” of Power?! (Cut to more clips of everyone cooking)
Can you withstand my “Pressure Cooker” of Power?! (Cut to more clips of everyone cooking)
Announcer (Voiceover):
And if the challenger gets to beat the Super Chef not only will they win the audience’s favor forever they are given A Sword of The Super Chefs and the challengers will return in a tournament to see who the ULTIMATE COOKING CHAMPION SHALL BE. Our host Alexander Martinson will give us the most impactful play by play commentary! (Cut to Alexander Martinson as performed by Steve Kidd talks about the competition)
And if the challenger gets to beat the Super Chef not only will they win the audience’s favor forever they are given A Sword of The Super Chefs and the challengers will return in a tournament to see who the ULTIMATE COOKING CHAMPION SHALL BE. Our host Alexander Martinson will give us the most impactful play by play commentary! (Cut to Alexander Martinson as performed by Steve Kidd talks about the competition)
Alexander Martinson:
And Super Chef Edward Nardole is breaking out the pressure cooker with that black skinned chicken, leeks, garlic, carrots, celery, Chicken Stock and white wine while the competitor has WOW he cooked the chicken and is mixing it into his Ice Cream mixture. (Cut to more clips of everyone cooking)
And Super Chef Edward Nardole is breaking out the pressure cooker with that black skinned chicken, leeks, garlic, carrots, celery, Chicken Stock and white wine while the competitor has WOW he cooked the chicken and is mixing it into his Ice Cream mixture. (Cut to more clips of everyone cooking)
Announcer (Voiceover):
After 45 minutes of competition their dishes, they must face the judges. (Cut to the Judges table as James Sullivan, James Daniel Walsh, Marcella DiPasqualle and Taylor Huff sample dishes)
After 45 minutes of competition their dishes, they must face the judges. (Cut to the Judges table as James Sullivan, James Daniel Walsh, Marcella DiPasqualle and Taylor Huff sample dishes)
Judge #1 (Played by Taylor Huff):
The flavor and the texture are there but something lacking in terms of heat.
The flavor and the texture are there but something lacking in terms of heat.
Judge #2 (Played by James Sullivan):
It was a little too gluey for my palate. There was something there and you ruined it.
It was a little too gluey for my palate. There was something there and you ruined it.
Judge #3 (Played by Marcella DiPasqualle):
I found it amazing that you were able to turn this humble ingredient to haute cuisine
I found it amazing that you were able to turn this humble ingredient to haute cuisine
Judge #4 (Played by James Daniel Walsh):
You found the right secondary ingredients to highlight the theme ingredient to culinary nirvana! (Cut to even more clips of everyone cooking before we see the head of “Super Chef” Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto Ramon played by Paulo Fonseca)
You found the right secondary ingredients to highlight the theme ingredient to culinary nirvana! (Cut to even more clips of everyone cooking before we see the head of “Super Chef” Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto Ramon played by Paulo Fonseca)
Announcer (Voiceover):
And what will our Chancellor Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto Ramon summon for our chefs to make their mightiest meals.
And what will our Chancellor Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto Ramon summon for our chefs to make their mightiest meals.
Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto
Ramon:
¡ Y Ahora Cocinas! (Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto Ramon takes a bite of Onion before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller)
¡ Y Ahora Cocinas! (Carlos De La Vega De La Alejandro De La Cueto Ramon takes a bite of Onion before cutting to James and Julia Alexa Miller)
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, I said I’d be there and yes, I want to meet and get along with your family, I’d just figure it’d be a little more something traditional like at Thanksgiving Dinner.
James, I said I’d be there and yes, I want to meet and get along with your family, I’d just figure it’d be a little more something traditional like at Thanksgiving Dinner.
TLOTA:
I’d love for that to happen but again sister moving to Florida and everything else this maybe the only chance for my family to say… (James opens the spare closet) Well this is a surprise!
I’d love for that to happen but again sister moving to Florida and everything else this maybe the only chance for my family to say… (James opens the spare closet) Well this is a surprise!
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, they know me, they’re not gonna be surprised.
James, they know me, they’re not gonna be surprised.
TLOTA:
No Alex, I mean what I’m looking at in the closet, THAT is a surprise… to me. (Julia Alexa Miller turns before cutting into the spare closet to see DukeCT doing his thing before DukeCT turns and sees James and Julia Alexa Miller)
No Alex, I mean what I’m looking at in the closet, THAT is a surprise… to me. (Julia Alexa Miller turns before cutting into the spare closet to see DukeCT doing his thing before DukeCT turns and sees James and Julia Alexa Miller)
DukeCT:
Hey James, so when are we going to do that Superman III review. (Cut to James and Julia)
Hey James, so when are we going to do that Superman III review. (Cut to James and Julia)
TLOTA:
Uhhhh… (Cut to DukeCT)
Uhhhh… (Cut to DukeCT)
DukeCT:
Let me guess, you forgot about your boy DukeCT. (Cut to James and Julia)
Let me guess, you forgot about your boy DukeCT. (Cut to James and Julia)
TLOTA:
Not intentionally. Look Any movie you want to review, we’ll do it no questions asked. (Cut to DukeCT)
Not intentionally. Look Any movie you want to review, we’ll do it no questions asked. (Cut to DukeCT)
DukeCT:
How about Disney’s first attempt to make a Comic Book Movie Franchise before they bought Marvel. (Cut to James and Julia)
How about Disney’s first attempt to make a Comic Book Movie Franchise before they bought Marvel. (Cut to James and Julia)
TLOTA:
“Condorman”? (Cut to DukeCT)
“Condorman”? (Cut to DukeCT)
DukeCT:
Hey, I’m an Internet Reviewer not a sadist. I’m thinking of one of their better attempts. (DukeCT pulls out the Blu-Ray of “The Rocketeer” before cutting to James and Julia as James gasps.)
Hey, I’m an Internet Reviewer not a sadist. I’m thinking of one of their better attempts. (DukeCT pulls out the Blu-Ray of “The Rocketeer” before cutting to James and Julia as James gasps.)
TLOTA:
Actually, that’s an awesome choice! (Cut to the opening credit of “The Rocketeer” before cutting to clips of the movie as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
Actually, that’s an awesome choice! (Cut to the opening credit of “The Rocketeer” before cutting to clips of the movie as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Based on the Comic Book character which was an homage of the Saturday Morning Serials of the 1930’s-1950’s. The movie feels so much like a love letter to a Golden Age of Cinema and I personally loved a lot of the story, the acting and a lot of what made that era of cinema amazing.
Based on the Comic Book character which was an homage of the Saturday Morning Serials of the 1930’s-1950’s. The movie feels so much like a love letter to a Golden Age of Cinema and I personally loved a lot of the story, the acting and a lot of what made that era of cinema amazing.
DukeCT (Voiceover):
This was one of the 1st comic book movies I’ve ever seen when I was a kid and this movie still so high up there and for what I saw as a kid (Show Batman 89 poster, TMNT 90’s movie poster, and Dick tracy Movie Poster over the footage) That’s saying something but does it hold up to today’s Standards? (Cut to James and DukeCT physically sitting on the Horseshoe couch)
This was one of the 1st comic book movies I’ve ever seen when I was a kid and this movie still so high up there and for what I saw as a kid (Show Batman 89 poster, TMNT 90’s movie poster, and Dick tracy Movie Poster over the footage) That’s saying something but does it hold up to today’s Standards? (Cut to James and DukeCT physically sitting on the Horseshoe couch)
TLOTA:
Let’s find out and not waste a second and I mean a second as a matter of fact, ORAC, set up a timer to go off at 2:30 PM.
Let’s find out and not waste a second and I mean a second as a matter of fact, ORAC, set up a timer to go off at 2:30 PM.
DukeCT:
Why then?
Why then?
TLOTA:
Personal business.
Personal business.
(Cut to Team TLOTA and Julia Alexa Miller)
Team TLOTA (In Unison):
He’s going to be supporting his brother in “Super Chef”
He’s going to be supporting his brother in “Super Chef”
Julia Alexa Miller:
And he invited me to be a part of the proceedings. (Cut to James and DukeCT)
And he invited me to be a part of the proceedings. (Cut to James and DukeCT)
DukeCT:
You’re going to be a part of “Super Chef”? I’d give my kidneys to see the show.
You’re going to be a part of “Super Chef”? I’d give my kidneys to see the show.
TLOTA:
I know, tickets to filming is a… (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)
I know, tickets to filming is a… (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller)
Julia Alexa Miller:
James, don’t make me mad, get going on the review! (Cut to James and DukeCT)
James, don’t make me mad, get going on the review! (Cut to James and DukeCT)
DukeCT:
Why? What happens if she gets mad? She turn into like a different colored She-Hulk or something?
Why? What happens if she gets mad? She turn into like a different colored She-Hulk or something?
TLOTA:
You don’t know? Bless you Duke! Let’s Blast off with “The Rocketeer” (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
You don’t know? Bless you Duke! Let’s Blast off with “The Rocketeer” (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
DukeCT (Voiceover):
As the movie begins we’re given a look at our hero Cliff Secord played by Billy Campbell as he gets ready to test fly his Gee Bee Racer for flying races at the next Air Show with his pal Peevy played by Alan Arkin in the middle of the test flight a gangster and his driver carrying a package for someone is under attack just as Cliff’s plane begins to have problems and crashes the plane, of course being shot at by the gangster doesn’t help. The Driver hide the package in Cliff’s Hangar before the Gangster is killed and The Driver swaps the package for a vacuum and fakes it being destroyed. Meanwhile the Gangster’s leader Eddie Valentine played by Paul Sorvino must deal with the buyer of the presumed destroyed package Neville Sinclair played by the ever suave and debonair Timothy Dalton. (Show clip of Neville as he gets upset about losing the package)
As the movie begins we’re given a look at our hero Cliff Secord played by Billy Campbell as he gets ready to test fly his Gee Bee Racer for flying races at the next Air Show with his pal Peevy played by Alan Arkin in the middle of the test flight a gangster and his driver carrying a package for someone is under attack just as Cliff’s plane begins to have problems and crashes the plane, of course being shot at by the gangster doesn’t help. The Driver hide the package in Cliff’s Hangar before the Gangster is killed and The Driver swaps the package for a vacuum and fakes it being destroyed. Meanwhile the Gangster’s leader Eddie Valentine played by Paul Sorvino must deal with the buyer of the presumed destroyed package Neville Sinclair played by the ever suave and debonair Timothy Dalton. (Show clip of Neville as he gets upset about losing the package)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Upset that the package is gone, Neville decides to hire someone to clean up Eddie Valentine’s mess and he brings in Lothar (Show clip of Lothor from “Power Rangers Ninja Storm” says “This is the most fun I’ve had all Season” before James and DukeCT shout “NOT HIM!” over the clip before cutting to James and DukeCT physically)
Upset that the package is gone, Neville decides to hire someone to clean up Eddie Valentine’s mess and he brings in Lothar (Show clip of Lothor from “Power Rangers Ninja Storm” says “This is the most fun I’ve had all Season” before James and DukeCT shout “NOT HIM!” over the clip before cutting to James and DukeCT physically)
TLOTA:
This Lothar is…What’s the best way to describe Lothar?
This Lothar is…What’s the best way to describe Lothar?
DukeCT:
Imagine Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan and Bill Goldberg combined into one nearly unstoppable entity.
Imagine Andre The Giant, Hulk Hogan and Bill Goldberg combined into one nearly unstoppable entity.
TLOTA:
So we’re going to get the usual Brutish Thug who can’t speak except through wanton violence and… (Show Lothar’s intro as he listens to Opera before cutting back to a surprised DukeCT and James) Well there goes that trope! (James and DukeCT applaud as it cuts to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
So we’re going to get the usual Brutish Thug who can’t speak except through wanton violence and… (Show Lothar’s intro as he listens to Opera before cutting back to a surprised DukeCT and James) Well there goes that trope! (James and DukeCT applaud as it cuts to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
With their plane incapacitated the air show promoter who bills them for the damage tells them to break out their old Flying Clown act. Upset by that Cliff and Peevy fume when they find a funny looking device. (Cut to the clip as they find the Rocket Jetpack and Peevy says “I wouldn’t touch that if I were you” before the Jet Pack starts to bounce around before it breaks through as James and DukeCT as the Jetpack Ricochets off of the wall before it flies through James’ Studio as it bounces off the wall into the backroom filled with props and costumes as John and Mike Santos jump over the flying rocket jetpack. Olivia Horvath hits it with a Tennis Racket. Eric Kurtzke and Renee Miller ducks under it. Ed Champion and Andrew Beach split in half as it goes through the back Garage opening and it cuts to Rebecca and Nick Yaun as they park and duck as it shatters the windshield and back window of their car. The Rocket Jetpack ricochets off Steve Kidd’s forehead then flips Paulo and Brenda Fonseca’s car after going under it before it changes to a first-person perspective as James swats it into the tv as it cuts back to the movie as the rocket jetpack stops and Cliff shuts it off and it cuts to James and DukeCT in James’ Lobby)
With their plane incapacitated the air show promoter who bills them for the damage tells them to break out their old Flying Clown act. Upset by that Cliff and Peevy fume when they find a funny looking device. (Cut to the clip as they find the Rocket Jetpack and Peevy says “I wouldn’t touch that if I were you” before the Jet Pack starts to bounce around before it breaks through as James and DukeCT as the Jetpack Ricochets off of the wall before it flies through James’ Studio as it bounces off the wall into the backroom filled with props and costumes as John and Mike Santos jump over the flying rocket jetpack. Olivia Horvath hits it with a Tennis Racket. Eric Kurtzke and Renee Miller ducks under it. Ed Champion and Andrew Beach split in half as it goes through the back Garage opening and it cuts to Rebecca and Nick Yaun as they park and duck as it shatters the windshield and back window of their car. The Rocket Jetpack ricochets off Steve Kidd’s forehead then flips Paulo and Brenda Fonseca’s car after going under it before it changes to a first-person perspective as James swats it into the tv as it cuts back to the movie as the rocket jetpack stops and Cliff shuts it off and it cuts to James and DukeCT in James’ Lobby)
DukeCT:
WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!
WHAT IN THE HELL WAS THAT?!
TLOTA:
Knowing me, it was just another reminder of it being Wednesday around here. (DukeCT gives James a look to say "Are you serious?" before cutting to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
Knowing me, it was just another reminder of it being Wednesday around here. (DukeCT gives James a look to say "Are you serious?" before cutting to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
So after that craziness, Lothar decides to turn the injured driver into a pretzel, just as Cliff and Peevy decide to test the Rocket Jet Pack it in the middle of a field with a statue for a test dummy.
So after that craziness, Lothar decides to turn the injured driver into a pretzel, just as Cliff and Peevy decide to test the Rocket Jet Pack it in the middle of a field with a statue for a test dummy.
DukeCT (Voiceover):
And as physics works. What comes up, eventually comes down! (Show clip of the Statue going up before cutting to James and DukeCT as a whistling sound is heard before a “KA-THUD” as James and DukeCT make their way to James’ office to see a statue with a rocket jetpack on its back as debris of a desk ruin the floor before cutting to James and DukeCT)
And as physics works. What comes up, eventually comes down! (Show clip of the Statue going up before cutting to James and DukeCT as a whistling sound is heard before a “KA-THUD” as James and DukeCT make their way to James’ office to see a statue with a rocket jetpack on its back as debris of a desk ruin the floor before cutting to James and DukeCT)
TLOTA:
Aw MAN! That’s the third one this year! Second one in four weeks! (James and DukeCT pull the statue out.)
Aw MAN! That’s the third one this year! Second one in four weeks! (James and DukeCT pull the statue out.)
DukeCT:
So Now what? (The Jetpack takes off automatically)
So Now what? (The Jetpack takes off automatically)
TLOTA:
That! (Cut to the movie as it returns as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
That! (Cut to the movie as it returns as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
DukeCT (Voiceover):
As Cliff thinks he can make more money flying in a jetpack than he can in a clown suit. Cliff and Peevy decide on a smart thing. (Show Cliff as he says, “I think we’re going to need a helmet” as James and DukeCT say in unison “YA THINK?!” before cutting to the rest of the movie as James and DukeCT continue their voiceovers)
As Cliff thinks he can make more money flying in a jetpack than he can in a clown suit. Cliff and Peevy decide on a smart thing. (Show Cliff as he says, “I think we’re going to need a helmet” as James and DukeCT say in unison “YA THINK?!” before cutting to the rest of the movie as James and DukeCT continue their voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
So as Peevy works on the Rocket. We’re introduced to Jenny played by…YOWZA!
So as Peevy works on the Rocket. We’re introduced to Jenny played by…YOWZA!
DukeCT (Voiceover):
YOWZA? (Show Clip of Jenny Jennifer Connelly as she gets ready to go out with Cliff before cutting to James and DukeCT physically)
YOWZA? (Show Clip of Jenny Jennifer Connelly as she gets ready to go out with Cliff before cutting to James and DukeCT physically)
DukeCT:
Damn That Woman is like fine wine good at any age!
Damn That Woman is like fine wine good at any age!
TLOTA:
Duke, not now I’m thinking of a cold shower!
Duke, not now I’m thinking of a cold shower!
DukeCT:
OH HELL YEAH, I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT! SHOW A PIC OF HER FROM LABYRINTH! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly from “Labyrinth” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) NOW ONE FROM THIS MOVIE! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly in “The Rocketeer” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) NOW ONE FROM ANG LEE’S TOILET “HULK” MOVIE! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly in “HULK” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) NOW ONE FROM HER LATEST WORK! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly in “Only The Brave” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) HOW IN THE HELL DOES SHE DO THAT?!
OH HELL YEAH, I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT! SHOW A PIC OF HER FROM LABYRINTH! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly from “Labyrinth” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) NOW ONE FROM THIS MOVIE! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly in “The Rocketeer” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) NOW ONE FROM ANG LEE’S TOILET “HULK” MOVIE! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly in “HULK” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) NOW ONE FROM HER LATEST WORK! (Quickly cut to a pic of Jennifer Connelly in “Only The Brave” before cutting back to James and DukeCT) HOW IN THE HELL DOES SHE DO THAT?!
TLOTA:
That’s a question for another time! Right now, again thinking of a cold shower! (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
That’s a question for another time! Right now, again thinking of a cold shower! (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Jenny and Cliff’s date starts with them at the movies with a newsreel of oh Hai… MOST EVIL PERSON EVER!
Jenny and Cliff’s date starts with them at the movies with a newsreel of oh Hai… MOST EVIL PERSON EVER!
DukeCT (Voiceover):
Really have you walked around the planet recently.
Really have you walked around the planet recently.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Back to the movie Duke! As Cliff and Jenny continue their date, A friend of Peevy and Cliff’s named Malcolm tells Jenny that he nearly bought the farm and Jenny doesn’t take it well, Jenny leaves and Cliff returns to see Peevy working on a Helmet. The next morning Cliff decides to drop in on Jenny as she has a bit part in a movie starring of all people, Neville Sinclair. This goes as well as it should be expected!
Back to the movie Duke! As Cliff and Jenny continue their date, A friend of Peevy and Cliff’s named Malcolm tells Jenny that he nearly bought the farm and Jenny doesn’t take it well, Jenny leaves and Cliff returns to see Peevy working on a Helmet. The next morning Cliff decides to drop in on Jenny as she has a bit part in a movie starring of all people, Neville Sinclair. This goes as well as it should be expected!
(Cut
to the clip of the set being destroyed and Neville Sinclair comes out of the
rubble saying, “Well never Let it never be said that Neville Sinclair failed to
bring down the house.” Before cutting to James and DukeCT as they sit
there and chuckle.)
ORAC (Audio only):
You have One hour and thirty minutes to finish the review!
You have One hour and thirty minutes to finish the review!
TLOTA:
Crap! Quick Break Duke! NOW!
Crap! Quick Break Duke! NOW!
(James and DukeCT run off quickly as it fades
to black before cutting to the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final
season of American Gladiators original run play the camera pulls back to see
James and everyone else on top of a slab with the words “The Last Of The
Americans” on it before fading to black then cut back to the 0:36-end mark from
the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the
camera pulls back to see James and everyone else on top of a slab with the
words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to the movie as James
and DukeCT do voiceovers.)
DukeCT (Voiceover):
As Cliff accidentally costs Jenny her Screen time. Neville overhears about how Cliff has the Rocket and decides the quickest way to get the Rocket is to get into Jenny Blake’s stockings, if you get the point!
As Cliff accidentally costs Jenny her Screen time. Neville overhears about how Cliff has the Rocket and decides the quickest way to get the Rocket is to get into Jenny Blake’s stockings, if you get the point!
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Meanwhile at the Air Show, Malcolm overhears that Cliff might lose his place as he straps on the clown suit to save their hangar just as Malcolm loses control. Cliff straps on the Helmet and Rocket Jetpack and flies out and Rescues Malcolm quickly becoming a celebrity as he’s named “The Rocketeer” but knowing everyone will be after him they decide to not tell anyone just as the Promoter tells Lothar about the two and is folded in half like a pair of pants and promptly demolishes the place Cliff and Peevy were living in of course the Feds help in that department as well.
Meanwhile at the Air Show, Malcolm overhears that Cliff might lose his place as he straps on the clown suit to save their hangar just as Malcolm loses control. Cliff straps on the Helmet and Rocket Jetpack and flies out and Rescues Malcolm quickly becoming a celebrity as he’s named “The Rocketeer” but knowing everyone will be after him they decide to not tell anyone just as the Promoter tells Lothar about the two and is folded in half like a pair of pants and promptly demolishes the place Cliff and Peevy were living in of course the Feds help in that department as well.
DukeCT (Voiceover):
Just as Cliff and Peevy are on the run, we’re shown what happens on the date between Neville and Jenny. That’s just an odd transition. Anyway, Neville is detained by Eddie and he’s not too pleased by how Lothar eighty sixed one of his men and makes a point to let Neville know he means business.
Just as Cliff and Peevy are on the run, we’re shown what happens on the date between Neville and Jenny. That’s just an odd transition. Anyway, Neville is detained by Eddie and he’s not too pleased by how Lothar eighty sixed one of his men and makes a point to let Neville know he means business.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Meanwhile Peevy and Cliff are hiding in the restaurant from earlier and Malcolm gets them up to speed with Cliff making the call to the Feds just as Eddie Valentine’s goons find him and a brawl ensues, in the middle of it a shot hits the pack right in the fuel tank. After a quick patch job, Cliff tries to rescue Jenny from Neville and Eddie in the middle of the date as Neville really needs to know about Cliff! Seriously the guy is close to real stalker levels.
Meanwhile Peevy and Cliff are hiding in the restaurant from earlier and Malcolm gets them up to speed with Cliff making the call to the Feds just as Eddie Valentine’s goons find him and a brawl ensues, in the middle of it a shot hits the pack right in the fuel tank. After a quick patch job, Cliff tries to rescue Jenny from Neville and Eddie in the middle of the date as Neville really needs to know about Cliff! Seriously the guy is close to real stalker levels.
DukeCT (Voiceover):
After telling Jenny that he’s The Rocketeer, Lothar and more of Eddie’s Goons come in looking to get that Rocket just as The Rocketeer fights them off and gets the hell out of Dodge and Jenny finds herself Neville’s Hostage and Jenny discovers a HUGE ASS SECRET ABOUT Neville Sinclair. (Show Jenny as he discovers Neville’s A Nazi before cutting to James and DukeCT.)
After telling Jenny that he’s The Rocketeer, Lothar and more of Eddie’s Goons come in looking to get that Rocket just as The Rocketeer fights them off and gets the hell out of Dodge and Jenny finds herself Neville’s Hostage and Jenny discovers a HUGE ASS SECRET ABOUT Neville Sinclair. (Show Jenny as he discovers Neville’s A Nazi before cutting to James and DukeCT.)
DukeCT:
Oh hey, he’s a… (James gives DukeCT the Evil Eye.) Nazi! I wasn’t going to say what I was going to.
Oh hey, he’s a… (James gives DukeCT the Evil Eye.) Nazi! I wasn’t going to say what I was going to.
TLOTA:
Good, because if you did, I would’ve left you with my girl when she’s angry and screaming.
Good, because if you did, I would’ve left you with my girl when she’s angry and screaming.
DukeCT:
It can’t be that bad.
It can’t be that bad.
TLOTA:
Oh Really? Alex. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she finishes taking a bite of Chicken in James’ kitchen.)
Oh Really? Alex. (Cut to Julia Alexa Miller as she finishes taking a bite of Chicken in James’ kitchen.)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Yeah James. (Cut to James and DukeCT)
Yeah James. (Cut to James and DukeCT)
TLOTA:
How angry are you? (Cut to James outside the kitchen as screams from DukeCT are heard, lightning flashes are seen behind the door then an earth-shaking moment happens before cutting to a visibly shaken DukeCT as James opens the door.)
How angry are you? (Cut to James outside the kitchen as screams from DukeCT are heard, lightning flashes are seen behind the door then an earth-shaking moment happens before cutting to a visibly shaken DukeCT as James opens the door.)
TLOTA:
Lesson Learned?
Lesson Learned?
DukeCT (sounding as highly pitched and
toned):
Yes! (DukeCT walks out as Julia Alexa Miller comes to the door!)
Yes! (DukeCT walks out as Julia Alexa Miller comes to the door!)
TLOTA:
Feel better?
Feel better?
Julia Alexa Miller:
Slightly, I’m still upset that I have to be Arm Candy to you as we go to “Super Chef” but you’ll have to deal with me. So, it’s a fair trade.
Slightly, I’m still upset that I have to be Arm Candy to you as we go to “Super Chef” but you’ll have to deal with me. So, it’s a fair trade.
TLOTA:
I’m so deep in Dutch I might as well just stay there shouldn’t I. (Julia Alexa Miller nods her head as James walks away in shame before cutting back to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
I’m so deep in Dutch I might as well just stay there shouldn’t I. (Julia Alexa Miller nods her head as James walks away in shame before cutting back to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
DukeCT (Voiceover):
After discovering that Eddie Valentine is willing to swap the Rocket for Jenny, Cliff agrees to meet Eddie and Neville at 4 AM at Griffith Observatory. But not before getting captured by the feds and taken to meet the inventor of the Jetpack Howard Hughes played by Terry O’Quinn! Howard lays out the whole scenario. Apparently, the Nazis have been working on their own Rocket Jetpacks and if they get The Jetpack Cliff has well… we’ll just let the animation speak for itself (Show clip of the plan of Nazi invaders using their Jetpacks as they take over the world! Before continuing the rest of the movie)
After discovering that Eddie Valentine is willing to swap the Rocket for Jenny, Cliff agrees to meet Eddie and Neville at 4 AM at Griffith Observatory. But not before getting captured by the feds and taken to meet the inventor of the Jetpack Howard Hughes played by Terry O’Quinn! Howard lays out the whole scenario. Apparently, the Nazis have been working on their own Rocket Jetpacks and if they get The Jetpack Cliff has well… we’ll just let the animation speak for itself (Show clip of the plan of Nazi invaders using their Jetpacks as they take over the world! Before continuing the rest of the movie)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
After that We get possibly the biggest jump to a conclusion EVER! (Show clip of Howard Hughes as he says that Eddie Valentine is hired muscle and that they’ve got no clue who the Nazi leader is when Cliff Blurts out “It’s Neville Sinclair” before cutting to James and DukeCT)
After that We get possibly the biggest jump to a conclusion EVER! (Show clip of Howard Hughes as he says that Eddie Valentine is hired muscle and that they’ve got no clue who the Nazi leader is when Cliff Blurts out “It’s Neville Sinclair” before cutting to James and DukeCT)
TLOTA and DukeCT (In Unison):
HOW DID HE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION?! (Show clip of Cliff telling them how he got to that conclusion before cutting back to James and DukeCT)
HOW DID HE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION?! (Show clip of Cliff telling them how he got to that conclusion before cutting back to James and DukeCT)
TLOTA:
That makes sense. (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
That makes sense. (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
DukeCT (Voiceover):
After a daring escape using a model of the Spruce Goose Cliff makes it to Griffith Observatory and tells Eddie that the man he was hired by is a Nazi. Eddie takes the fact he was working for A Nazi Scumbag just as one would expect. (Eddie tells Neville that he might not be honest, but he is an American and doesn’t work for a Nazi)
After a daring escape using a model of the Spruce Goose Cliff makes it to Griffith Observatory and tells Eddie that the man he was hired by is a Nazi. Eddie takes the fact he was working for A Nazi Scumbag just as one would expect. (Eddie tells Neville that he might not be honest, but he is an American and doesn’t work for a Nazi)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
And that’s from a guy who basically who legally admitted he’s a criminal. But sure enough, Neville has his Nazi stooges hiding for an ambush. Things look as bad as it can get when a friggin’ Nazi zeppelin shows up until… (Show clip of the feds come into the fray.) And this moment I love. A Gangster and a Fed working together to wipe out the Nazis! (Cut to James and DukeCT Physically)
And that’s from a guy who basically who legally admitted he’s a criminal. But sure enough, Neville has his Nazi stooges hiding for an ambush. Things look as bad as it can get when a friggin’ Nazi zeppelin shows up until… (Show clip of the feds come into the fray.) And this moment I love. A Gangster and a Fed working together to wipe out the Nazis! (Cut to James and DukeCT Physically)
DukeCT:
They would find common ground against a common enemy. Just imagine if they did that in the Washington DC Political arena and… Never mind, they got one, I forgot! (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
They would find common ground against a common enemy. Just imagine if they did that in the Washington DC Political arena and… Never mind, they got one, I forgot! (Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT do voiceovers)
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Cliff decides to go after Neville in the Zeppelin after sabotaging it and taking on Lothar eventually ending his battle by knocking him out and dangling Lothar like a worm on a hook. Quickly making it to Neville Cliff makes a trade to save Jenny handing over the Rocket Pack but not before sabotaging the seal on the tank.
Cliff decides to go after Neville in the Zeppelin after sabotaging it and taking on Lothar eventually ending his battle by knocking him out and dangling Lothar like a worm on a hook. Quickly making it to Neville Cliff makes a trade to save Jenny handing over the Rocket Pack but not before sabotaging the seal on the tank.
DukeCT (Voiceover):
After that Jenny breaks free, fires a flare gun in a Hydrogen filled Zeppelin and igniting the whole dang thing. Sinclair gets out with the Rocket as it ignites and he burns up leaving the Hollywood part of Hollywood land sign safe, the fresh scent of burned flesh and pine.
After that Jenny breaks free, fires a flare gun in a Hydrogen filled Zeppelin and igniting the whole dang thing. Sinclair gets out with the Rocket as it ignites and he burns up leaving the Hollywood part of Hollywood land sign safe, the fresh scent of burned flesh and pine.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
Jenny and Cliff heads on up just as Lothar comes up to chop them into bits but no time for that, the Zeppelin goes Kablammo, Lothar is destroyed, Howard Hughes and Peevy save Cliff and Jenny as the Zeppelin goes down in flames! The next day Cliff is upset that the Jet Pack is gone but hey he has Peevy and Jenny.
Jenny and Cliff heads on up just as Lothar comes up to chop them into bits but no time for that, the Zeppelin goes Kablammo, Lothar is destroyed, Howard Hughes and Peevy save Cliff and Jenny as the Zeppelin goes down in flames! The next day Cliff is upset that the Jet Pack is gone but hey he has Peevy and Jenny.
DukeCT (Voiceover):
Well that and a brand-new plane from Howard Hughes delivered to Cliff personally. Howard Hughes rides off into the sunset and eventual insanity and the movie ends with Peevy getting his blueprints for a new Rocket Jet Pack and Cliff kissing the girl. Just as it would happen in Hollywood back in the day. (Cut to James and DukeCT physically.)
Well that and a brand-new plane from Howard Hughes delivered to Cliff personally. Howard Hughes rides off into the sunset and eventual insanity and the movie ends with Peevy getting his blueprints for a new Rocket Jet Pack and Cliff kissing the girl. Just as it would happen in Hollywood back in the day. (Cut to James and DukeCT physically.)
TLOTA:
And that was “The Rocketeer” and… I liked it
And that was “The Rocketeer” and… I liked it
DukeCT:
Yep, this movie still holds up.
Yep, this movie still holds up.
(Cut to “The Rocketeer” as James and DukeCT
do voiceovers)
DukeCT (Voiceover):
This movie is one of the best comic book movies from the early 90’s as they teamed the source material very well with the story, acting, presentation, and the visuals even though the green screen can look a bit dated but overall it's a very fun an exciting movie that the whole family can enjoy.
This movie is one of the best comic book movies from the early 90’s as they teamed the source material very well with the story, acting, presentation, and the visuals even though the green screen can look a bit dated but overall it's a very fun an exciting movie that the whole family can enjoy.
TLOTA (Voiceover):
No disagreement here and you can tell that everyone had fun working on it. While it is sad that it didn’t do well in the box-office, it has grown a following in the home market. If you can pick it up on either Blu-Ray or DVD or get it inexpensively on Streaming, I say check it out. Whether you like it being an homage of the Golden Age of Cinema or as an homage to Comic Book Movies or for whatever reason to like this movie, you’ll find it. (Cut to James and DukeCT on the Horseshoe Couch)
No disagreement here and you can tell that everyone had fun working on it. While it is sad that it didn’t do well in the box-office, it has grown a following in the home market. If you can pick it up on either Blu-Ray or DVD or get it inexpensively on Streaming, I say check it out. Whether you like it being an homage of the Golden Age of Cinema or as an homage to Comic Book Movies or for whatever reason to like this movie, you’ll find it. (Cut to James and DukeCT on the Horseshoe Couch)
TLOTA:
Well DukeCT it was a pleasure doing this Review. ORAC, how much time left.
Well DukeCT it was a pleasure doing this Review. ORAC, how much time left.
ORAC (Audio Only):
Thirty minutes! (James sighs)
Thirty minutes! (James sighs)
DukeCT:
What’s wrong?
What’s wrong?
TLOTA:
As much as I want to go and support my family I don’t want to have it negatively impact my relationship with Alex and I think I may be doing that. Wait a second, did you drive Writrzblok here?
As much as I want to go and support my family I don’t want to have it negatively impact my relationship with Alex and I think I may be doing that. Wait a second, did you drive Writrzblok here?
DukeCT:
Yeah, Why? (Cut to a car in which Writrzblok sits and waits)
Yeah, Why? (Cut to a car in which Writrzblok sits and waits)
Writrzblok:
Five more minutes then I’m calling in an Uber! (Cut to James as he holds his face with his hands.)
Five more minutes then I’m calling in an Uber! (Cut to James as he holds his face with his hands.)
TLOTA:
Now I’ve got to make it up to him as well and I know we’re not square.
Now I’ve got to make it up to him as well and I know we’re not square.
DukeCT:
Well while we were driving here me and Writrzblok found common ground with “Super Chefs” and how we’d like to go to a taping of it and yes, we’re not square yet! I lost five months of my time because of you. (Julia Alexa Miller walks in begrudgingly)
Well while we were driving here me and Writrzblok found common ground with “Super Chefs” and how we’d like to go to a taping of it and yes, we’re not square yet! I lost five months of my time because of you. (Julia Alexa Miller walks in begrudgingly)
Julia Alexa Miller:
Are you and DukeCT done, we’ve got to get going on something I must do because James is more interested with making sure everything is good with his family than… (James gets up)
Are you and DukeCT done, we’ve got to get going on something I must do because James is more interested with making sure everything is good with his family than… (James gets up)
TLOTA:
Wait! I just got an idea that’ll solve all my problems. (Cut to a half hour later as Julia Alexa Miller and James are sitting on the horseshoe couch) Yeah, I know you’re pissed at me right now and not gonna forgive me, but I told you things came up and I can’t make it. I gave my tickets to two friends who love the series as much as you and I do, and they’ll be cheering you on. Yes, Okay, you’ll rip me a new one in December. See you then. Bye.
Wait! I just got an idea that’ll solve all my problems. (Cut to a half hour later as Julia Alexa Miller and James are sitting on the horseshoe couch) Yeah, I know you’re pissed at me right now and not gonna forgive me, but I told you things came up and I can’t make it. I gave my tickets to two friends who love the series as much as you and I do, and they’ll be cheering you on. Yes, Okay, you’ll rip me a new one in December. See you then. Bye.
Julia Alexa Miller:
So James, he took the news as you thought he would?
So James, he took the news as you thought he would?
TLOTA:
Yep and you know what? I’m glad. Right now, you are more important than appearing on any show. So, what do you want to do?
Yep and you know what? I’m glad. Right now, you are more important than appearing on any show. So, what do you want to do?
Julia Alexa Miller:
Right now? Just be with you.
Right now? Just be with you.
TLOTA:
Same here. (Julia and James snuggle and kiss as they check out a movie together as it fades to black)
Same here. (Julia and James snuggle and kiss as they check out a movie together as it fades to black)
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