Tuesday, October 31, 2017

The Rocky Horror Review Show


(A black screen with a pair of Red Lips slowly zooms towards the center of the screen as “Science Fiction Double Feature” sound alike plays in the foreground)

Red Lips (Singing): 
Doctor Who had his fill the Day the Earth stood still and he nearly wiped out all the Daleks. Then came The Millennium Falcon like a bat out of hell and took out the base for the Starkiller! Then something went screwy as Iron Man went kerblooey and Captain America became Enemy number one! And at an incredible pace went the whole human race in a Sharknado but they had some fun! 
(The Lips freeze but the song continues as does the singing from the lips in a still frame as the words “The Last Of The Americans in…” “The Rocky Horror Picture Review Show!” “Starring James Faraci as The Last Of The Americans” “Taylor Huff as Taylor” “Marcella Di Pasquale as Marcella” “Rebecca Yaun as Dr. Vienerschnitzel” “Chris Lee Moore as Rick Roll”, “Eric Kurtzke as Prof. Schott” “Brenda Fonseca as Paramount” “Paulo Fonseca as Johnny” “Maria Feist as Tangerine”, “Nick Yaun as Rocky Horror” “with John Ross Santos as The Forensic Scientist” are all done in melted Red Lipstick)
Science Fiction! Double Feature! Dr. Frankenstein and his creature! See Robots fighting our heroes and Francis Coleman will film the whole show Whoa! Oh, oh, Whoaaah! Welcome to the late night double feature picture show! (The Lips unfreeze and the credits stop)

I knew David E. Kelley had laughs from his belly when he saw Wonder Woman’s movie succeed! But then came Marty and Doc and they gave it a shot to try and save Reality! Captain Kirk and his crew knew they were through when The Enterprise was sent to its grave! But when Godzilla arose well everyone knows no one is safe from a…

(The Lips freeze but the song continues as does the singing from the lips in a still frame as the words “Written by James Faraci”, “Makeup by Olivia Horvath” “Costumes by Renee Miller, Ed Champion, Andrew Beach and Michael Santos” “Produced by Julia Alexa Miller, Ryan Brennan, James Faraci, Harold Apter, Alexandria Baltazar” and “Directed by Julia Alexa Miller” are all done in melted Red Lipstick)
Science Fiction! Double Feature! Dr. Frankenstein and his creature! See Robots fighting our heroes and Francis Coleman will film the whole show Whoa! Oh, oh, Whoaaah! Welcome to the late night double feature picture show! Come on let’s go! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! In Hi-Def Stereo! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! With Randy O! Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! In the front row! 

(The Lips unfreeze and sing Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa oh! To the Late-Night Double Feature Picture Show! Before fading to Taylor Huff and Marcella Di Pasquale from “Life As A Mermaid” and James as the three are driving down the road in James’ mom’s van and the three sing the word “Show” before the Radio announces to everyone in the van James’ Haunted House and Halloween Adult Party as James shuts the radio off.)

Taylor: 
We really want to thank you for bringing us to the Con and sacrificing your usual plans for Halloween.

TLOTA:
Well, I’m a man of my word and I promised Alex to get you and Marcella to the Con and I plan on getting you there.

Marcella:
It means a lot to us and if you ever need anything, let us know.

TLOTA:
Well, just keep making great episodes of “Life As A Mermaid” and we’re square.

(Cut to 20 minutes later as The Van is hauled away after breaking down at the far end of the Neversink Reservoir Dam and James, Marcella and Taylor are left on the side of the road.)

Taylor:
Well James have we thanked you for picking us up in a lemon?

TLOTA: 
It’s not my fault, any way where is your luggage? (Taylor and Marcella look at each other and realize “Oops! We Left them in the Van” as they try to run after the Tow Truck!) Guys! Forget it, I told them what Hotel we’re going to be staying at when they get it fixed and don’t bother trying to use your smartphones this is a dead zone for cellular calls and there’s no Uber or Lyft or rideshare or anything like that around here. (Taylor and Marcella catch up with James.)

Marcella: 
So now what?

TLOTA:
We hoof it until we get to Neversink, then I can call the Garage tell them where we’re staying until the Van is fixed and they can drop it off there also the less time complaining and more time walking will do us some good.  (The three walks down the road before fading to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist: 
As the three make their way down the road our heroes will discover the events of one night going into someone else’s fantasy. (Cut to later that night as the rain pours down like cats and dogs while James, Taylor and Marcella make their way to a gigantic house.)

Taylor: 
James, there’s more room under the Umbrella for you to join me and Marcella.

TLOTA: 
I’m alright for now. We’re coming up to the place the old guy from the Gas Station said it’d be better for us to stay until the van is fixed! (Cut to the gigantic house as lightning strikes and thunder booms before cutting to James, Taylor and Marcella as they make their way to the gigantic house and as a sound alike of “There’s a Light Over at the Frankenstein place” plays in the foreground)

Taylor (Singing):
 In the veil of darkness of the blackest night!

Marcella (Singing):
 Burning Bright there is a guiding li-ii-iight!

TLOTA (Singing): 
Making us feel safe this ni-ii-iight!

TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony):
 There’s a light (Chorus sings “Over at Der Vienerschnitzel’s”)

TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony): 
There’s a lii-iiiight (Chorus sings “Burning from the depths of Hell!”)

TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony): 
There’s a li-liiight in the darkest of the entire night! (Cut to the gigantic house.)

The voice of someone from the house (As sung by Chris Lee Moore):
 The darkness it flows li-ike a river on night’s streaming as Orpheus flows as the sun breaks the darkness of the sky-yy-yyy!  of the Sky-yy-yy-yy! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella as they make their way to the gigantic house)

TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony): 
There’s a light (Chorus sings “Over at Der Vienerschnitzel’s”)

TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony): 
There’s a light (Chorus sings “Burning from the depths of Hell!”)

TLOTA, Marcella, Taylor and the Chorus (Singing in harmony): 
There’s a li-liiight in the darkest of the entire night!
(Cut to the gigantic house as James, Marcella and Taylor make it to the front porch.)
TLOTA:
 You know this seems all too familiar. Like something I see around this time. (James snaps his fingers) Rocky Horror Picture Show! (Cut to Marcella and Taylor look at each other in shock.)

Taylor and Marcella (In Unionized shock): 
You’ve seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show? (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
 Hasn’t everybody? (Cut to audio sound alike to “Time Warp” plays in the background and James does a voiceover on stills from the movie.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
 Created by Richard O’Brien this campy tongue in cheek tale about a couple who just got engaged and finds themselves in something out of a B-Grade Sci-fi movie of the Golden Age of Cinema this story also deals with the dangers of personal experimentation gone wrong. I think it’s partly due to Richard O’Brien having suffered throughout most of his life with Gender identity problems but also loved and used the tropes of the Sci-Fi and Fantasy movies of his childhood to help him through the problems. Another thing he used was music and let me say that the music in this Rock Opera is still far catchier today than any regurgitation of a musical today. The fact he used Rock and Roll to also help him discover himself and come up with the basis of what is as good a movie as is a cult classic that people still go to at midnight screenings. (Cut to the gigantic house as James, Marcella and Taylor stand on the front porch.)

TLOTA: 
Though how it became a Midnight Movie Cult Classic is quite interesting as well. (Taylor, Marcella and James jump back as the door opens and Rick Roll greets them.)

Rick Roll: 
Good evening, please walk this way and follow me! (Rick Roll walks away before it cuts to James as Taylor and Marcella prepare to walk the same way Rick Roll did)

TLOTA: 
Do it and you can stay here and forget the Con altogether! (The three walks into the main parlor of the house as they meet up with Rick Roll and Tangerine.)

Rick Roll: 
My name is Rick Roll and this is my sister…Tangerine! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella looking as to say to themselves “Right” before cutting to Tangerine and Rick Roll)

Tangerine: 
Our master Dr. Vienerschnitzel wasn’t expecting company tonight.

TLOTA: 
Well we just need to call the garage to let them know where we are and we’ll stay in this area. (Dull music is heard in the background.)

Marcella: 
Are we interrupting something?

Rick Roll: 
Nothing you can not be a part of.

Taylor: 
So, you’re saying we can observe if we want?

Rick Roll: 
Indeed, I am!
(“Time Warp” sound alike plays in the foreground and the same actions from the 1975 movie are done by the characters)

Rick Roll (Sing speak):
 It’s amazing! Time has no meaning! Sanity has no soul! But listen over yonder!

Tangerine (Sing speak): 
And do not wander!

Rick Roll (Sing speak): 
For we must keep control!

Rick Roll (Singing): 
I REMEMBER! DOING NOSTALGIA! THINKING OF THE MOMENTS WHEN! THE BLACKNESS WAS SCREAMING!

Rick Roll & Tangerine (Singing in harmony):
 AND THE VOICES WERE SINGING! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella being pushed into a room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!  (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist:
 It’s just two steps forward! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony):
 AND THEN A TEN STEPS ABA-AAA-AACK! (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist: 
Place your hands on your knees! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
THEN GIVE THEM A CLAA-AAP!  AND IF YOU SHAKE YOUR BUU-UUT THAT’S A SIGN THAT MAKES YOU CRAAAA-AZY! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!

Tangerine (Sing speak): 
It’s so freeing! All over I’m feeling oh so incredible! In another reality, as far as my eyes can see and none of it is so dull!

Rick Roll (Sing speak): 
With a really good mind frack!

Tangerine (Sing speak): 
Your senses will be out of whack!

Rick Roll (Sing speak):
 And reality will be destroyed!

Tangerine (Sing speak): 
It’s a celebration

Rick Roll (Singing):  
ACROSS EVERY NATION!

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (Cut to Rick Roll and Tangerine as they boogie on over to Paramount)

Paramount (Singing): 
Well I was dancing down the road and I was having thang with tall dark man who could really schwing! He rocked me till the dawn, he rolled me into the night. He had a pick-up truck and was a crazy tight! I looked at him and without a thought he brought me to his world and everything else he sought.

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!  (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist: 
It’s just two steps forward! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony):
 AND THEN A TEN STEPS ABA-AAA-AACK! (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist: 
Place your hands on your knees! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
THEN GIVE THEM A CLAA-AAP!! AND IF YOU SHAKE YOUR BUU-UUT THAT’S A SIGN THAT MAKES YOU CRAAAA-AZY! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (Paramount taps dances before cutting to James bopping his head as Taylor and Marcella smack him before cutting to Paramount as her tap dancing shoes slips on the floor and lands on James as Taylor and Marcella move out of the way and James pushes Paramount out of the way)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony):
 LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN!  (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist:
 It’s just two steps forward! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
AND THEN A TEN STEPS ABA-AAA-AACK! (Cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist: 
Place your hands on your knees! (Cut to the room full of celebrators)

Celebrators (In Choired Harmony): 
THEN GIVE THEM A CLAA-AAP!!  AND IF YOU SHAKE YOUR BUU-UUT THAT’S A SIGN THAT MAKES YOU CRAAAA-AZY! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! LET’S DO THE NOSTALGIA AGAIN! (The music slows as everyone save for James, Taylor and Marcella collapse in exhaustion before cutting to James, Taylor and Marcella.)

TLOTA:
 So…. none of you have done the Macarena in a long time! (The build up to Sweet Transvestite plays in the foreground as Taylor and Marcella start to walk away and James follows) Come on guys! Once we make the call we’ll be here for the night and not be in the way.

Taylor:
 Look James we’re getting creeped out by being here and it’s not getting any less weird with you trying to add levity to the situation we’re in.

TLOTA:
 I understand but we’re the Doctor’s guests and the best thing to do is to ride things out with a smile on our faces and then never mention this night again.

Marcella: 
Look We’re wet, tired, cold and we can’t handle any more shocking surprises for a while! (The Doors open as “Sweet Transvestite” sound alike plays in the foreground and Dr. Vienerschnitzel wrapped in a cape comes busting in shocking Taylor and Marcella the two of them landing on James.)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Sing Speak): 
How’d you do I… See you’ve met my… faithful servicemen! They’re just a little upset because he thought… you were the delivery from Amazan!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
 Don’t get strung out, on just how I LOOK don’t judge this book by its cover! I may look normal oh every day! But by night I’m a hell of another! I’m just a sweet fanvestite from fansational fanlove. Cooooom!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Sing Speak): 
Now let me give you the tour. You three look like you are sure. You know how to be real funny! But if you need something more unusual maybe something visual we can take in an old Universal Monster Movie.

TLOTA (Sing Speak):
 Well I’m glad we can talk right now. Don’t need you having a cow but we hit a problem. You see our ride broke down and we’re stuck in town. Just let us borrow your phone, make our calls and everything will be awesome!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing): 
Well you three are straight up trapped well how about that! Just you three do not panic! For you see I’ve got on speed dial the most sadistic satanic mechanic! I’m just a sweet fanvestite from fansational fanlove. Cooooom!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Sing Speak): 
Now you three can stay the night. (Paramount, Tangerine and Rick Roll whisper night) You can grab a bite. (Paramount, Tangerine and Rick Roll whisper bite) Maybe show you my latest creation! For you see I’m making the ultimate fan. Long Legs, Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes and a Tan! It’s oh so good in every Convention. I’m just a sweet fanvestite from fansational fanlove. Cooooom!  (Laughs to the beat of the music)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
 I’m just a sweet fanvestite from fansational fanlove. Cooooom!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Sing Speak): 
So, come to my lab (Cut to Taylor and Marcella as the two look at each other before cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel) And see what’s on my slab (Cut to James as he looks frustrated before cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel) I see you shiver with antici…(Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella as Taylor and Marcella look in wonder for five seconds in silence and James in frustration lasting four of the five seconds )

TLOTA: 
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF PEAT MOSS, GET ON WITH IT!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Sing Speak): 
Pation! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella)

TLOTA: 
THANKS! (Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel inside an elevator)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing): 
But Maaa-a-aaybe the niii-ght! (Cut to the outside of the elevator)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Sing Speak):  
should be the least of your frights. I’ll handle the fears, but not the sensation! (The elevator goes up as the song ends before cutting to James, Taylor and Marcella as they look up the shaft)

TLOTA:
 Am I the only one who is now scared if they’ll survive the night? (Taylor and Marcella raise their hands and James turns to see them.) Okay good to know I’m not the only one!

(Taylor and Marcella look at James with surprised disgust before cutting to 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and commercial return as the scene cuts to the inside of the shared room of James, Marcella & Taylor as Taylor and Marcella are undressed off screen and James is in the bathroom off screen as well)

Taylor (Off Screen): 
Come on James, a grown man in his underwear seeing a woman in her underwear is perfectly natural.

TLOTA (Off Screen): 
When they’re married or in a couple. I’m single and I have three reasons why I feel even more uncomfortable with these accommodations. Their names are Madison, Mallory & Vivian Lee!

Marcella (Off Screen): 
Ooh who are they?

TLOTA (Off Screen): 
My nieces! Madison and Mallory are teens and Vivian is a decade Madison and Mallory’s junior! Hence me being in the bathroom is essential to my sanity and decency!

Taylor (Off Screen): 
Well why did you give them your clothes?

TLOTA (Off Screen): 
They took yours as well fortunately I have a backup plan! (Sounds of a flip phone opening and the numbers 4, 2 & 8 are heard before a flash of light is seen before everything returns to normal) Taylor! Grab my glasses! (Taylor’s arm reaches into the bathroom.)

TLOTA (Off screen and one octave higher): 
Wrong glasses! (James pulls out his glasses and Taylor gets James’ glasses.)

Taylor (Off Screen): 
Okay, Now what?

TLOTA (Off Screen): 
Tap the bridge of the glasses.

Marcella (Off Screen): 
What will that do?

TLOTA (Off Screen): 
After five seconds, it’ll emit a Holographic image of clothes on the two of you. (A tap is made and a whirring noise is heard for five seconds)

Marcella (Off Screen): 
Now what?

TLOTA (Off Screen): 
Hand me my glasses. (Marcella’s arm reaches out and smacks James in the face) Thanks Marcella. (James walks into the room)

TLOTA: 
Wait, I’ll show you the clothes I picked. (James double taps the bridge of his glasses as it emits a Sonic sound for two seconds) What do you think? (Cut to Taylor and Marcella dressed in early 1900’s dresses)

Taylor: 
Seriously? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: 
What? I think it’s dignified! (Cut to Taylor and Marcella)

Marcella: 
Fashion styles have changed and women can still look dignified. (Marcella walks over grabs James’ glasses and James closes his eyes and a whirring noise is heard as Marcella’s hand gives James his glasses back as it cuts to Marcella and Taylor dressed as normal women dress this day)

Taylor & Marcella (In Unison):
 Better? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: 
Better choices than I had. (James walks over to Taylor and Marcella.)

Taylor: 
So, when did you update your glasses and I thought you had given Rick Roll your clothes?

TLOTA:
 I got them updated back in early July just in time for my clipless “Wonder Woman” review. People didn’t notice until August! And as for these, this is my usual garb when I become The Last Of The Americans. What I was wearing was a costume of “The Last Of The Americans” because I was foolishly thought things were going to be easy for me to get you to the Con and I could get back in time for me to enjoy my Halloween Adult Swim Party after taking down my family friendly Haunted House.

Marcella: 
Again, we’re sorry about that

Taylor: 
But we are grateful for the ride that could get ready for the Con on Thursday.

TLOTA:
 So why did you need me to get the two of you to the Hotel tonight?

Taylor: 
Get a feel for the Hotel, help set up the booth for the Con the next day, meet some of the locals. The usual stuff one does when they’re from out of town and want to soak in the local culture. (The door creeks open as Tangerine comes in)

Tangerine: 
My apologies for interrupting you but Dr. Vienerschnitzel demands your presence in his laboratory to see his creation come to life! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella)

Marcella: 
Tell him we’re on our way. (Cut to Tangerine at the doorway)

Tangerine:
 Absolutely and may I say you two ladies look rather delectable maybe with some Fava Beans and a nice Chianti! (Tangerine walks away creeping out James, Taylor and Marcella as James, Taylor and Marcella follow Tangerine to the Elevator.)

Taylor: 
Okay what was that all about?

TLOTA: 
Well, apart from myself and the two of you, everyone is seeing the two of you in your underwear!

 (Taylor and Marcella clench their fists before cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel’s laboratory as the Elevator dings and Taylor and Marcella walk out angrily and James is on the backside of the elevator with two black eyes and seeing a circle of animated tweeting birds around his head before cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel as The Doctor prepares to bring life)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel: 
Ah our guests have arrived! Behold my creation! All it needs now is my special chemical composition and a concentrated amounts of lightning bolts then VOILA! My creation shall have LIFE! (A Strange device comes down) Rick Roll if you would please! (Rick Roll starts to open the valves to the composition) NOW THE ROOF! OPEN IT! (Rick Roll opens the roof as Lightning strikes and the body inside the tank convulses) OH ROCKY! (The body inside begins to move only as another body pops out of the tank which happens to be Rocky Balboa this time played by Nick Slimmer.)

Rocky Balboa: 
Hey yo, Thanks for the boost Doc! Just what I needed to get me through Creed II! Later! (Cut to James, Taylor and Marcella)

TLOTA: 
Was that really your creation? (Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel: 
No, you fool! Behold THE REAL ROCKY! (Cut to the Creature as the face and Body is revealed and it escapes the tub and “Sword of Damocles” sound alike plays in the background)

Rocky (Singing): 
The Sword of Caliverti is a hanging over the land and I fear the man who holds it in his hands! Oh, what is me? Oh, Life Is a Mystery! Oh, I can see that I’m at the hands of a really big follower! I woke up this morning with a hangover as big as Canada! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “That Ain’t A Crime!”) Of course, I also was in Attica! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “That Ain’t A Crime!”) Oh, what is me? Oh, Life Is a Mystery! Oh, I can see that I’m at the hands of a really big follower! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime! Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime! YEAH!”) The Sword of Caliverti is a hanging over the land! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime!!”) And I fear the man who holds it in their hands! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime!!”) Oh, what is me? Oh, Life Is a Mystery! Oh, I can see that I’m at the hands of a really big follower! (Celebrators sing in choired harmony “Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime! Sha-Na-Na That Ain’t A Crime! YEAH! Cha-Cha-Cha!” before Dr. Vienerschnitzel slaps Rocky)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel: 
Oh Rocky! Oh, My Rocky! Follow me and I will show you what it means to be a fan! (Cut to Taylor, Marcella and James as instrumental of “I can make you a man” plays in the background)

Taylor: 
Okay, James I’m gonna ask once and then I’m smacking you stupid. Did you dance while Rocky sang?

TLOTA: 
I couldn’t help it was very catchy, like the soundtrack to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

(Cut to stills from “Rocky Horror Picture Show” as James does a voiceover on stills from the movie.)

TLOTA (Voiceover): 
I dare people not to get up and hit the dance floor when the soundtrack gets going. I’ve heard from one of my friends that their school always performed “Time Warp” around Halloween and I’ve been to a Halloween parties where the songs from Frank-N-Furter’s floor show was played and things got freaky! Plus, I can’t even count how many musical numbers from high schools who decide to perform the stage version of the musical there are on YouTube. As a matter of fact, one of the better renditions of the Musical and the movie was the “GLEE” episode “Rocky Horror GLEE Show” and although Fox tried to do a “Live TV Musical Version” of the movie and it tried to recreate the experience of seeing the movie and experiencing the music on TV and it tanked because you have to go to the live experience to actually get it. (An engine revs up as it cuts back to Dr. Vienerschnitzel’s Lab as the freezer’s door opens and a man in black on a motorcycle zooms out and everyone steps back!)

Paramount: 
JOHNNY! (Cut to Johnny looking like Tommy Wiseau’s Johnny from “The Room”)

Johnny: 
Hai Babe, I got this for You-ooo! (Cut to Taylor,Marcella and James as he pulls out the Double-Barreled Handgun)

TLOTA: 
OH NO YOU DON’T! OH NO YOU DON’T! COME HERE YOU SON OF A…! (James runs out of frame as Gunshots are heard as Taylor and Marcella look on in fear and shock)

TLOTA (Audio only): 
DON’T RUN! DON’T RUN! COME HERE I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND! (A Yipe and a thud is heard as James walks back cleaning blood off the gun)

TLOTA: 
What? (Dr. Vienerschnitzel saunters in)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel: 
Well, I understand where you’re coming from. It was a mercy killing. But did you have to do it with such violence?

TLOTA: 
I have enough Cult Classics to deal with in this thing. (Cut to stills of “The Room” and “Rocky Horror Picture Show” as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): 
The reason “Rocky Horror Picture Show” became a midnight cult classic was because of Kismet because when it was released somewhat nationwide it BOMBED! Critics thrashed it, mainstream audiences hated it. However, one theater in New York decided to show the movie at midnight and slowly but surely the audience grew and grew. When the news of this reached 20th Century Fox, a young upstart exec thought this was a smarter way than trying to make the mainstream understand it. So, when it found its audience, that was when people embraced the movie. The reason “The Room” succeeded in becoming a cult classic is because the movie is ungodly WEIRD! How could something that incoherently insane be considered a movie? And the fact people wanted to see how bad it was made it a cult classic because of dumb luck! There’s a difference between kismet and dumb luck. Kismet is fate mixed with destiny and luck. Dumb luck is just that, Luck that wasn’t smart enough to know how lucky it is! (Cut to Taylor, Marcella and James in the lab with Dr. Vienerschnitzel.)

TLOTA: 
It’d be as much dumb luck as say an old Professor friend of mine finding his way here! (A Zooming blur nearly knocks over Taylor, Marcella, James and Dr. Vienerschnitzel as a crashing noise is heard two seconds later.) HOLY SCHOTT! (Cut to the wall as a man in a wheelchair is stuck head first before Taylor, James and Marcella get him out!)

Professor Schott: 
Oh, Vielen Dank Damen und (Gasps) HERR Faraci!

TLOTA:
Wie sind Sie Professor?

Professor Schott: 
Ich war besser, ich denke, es wäre einfacher, Englisch zu sprechen!

TLOTA: 
Gute Idee Professor! (Dr. Vienerschnitzel jumps in angrily!)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel: 
I KNEW IT! YOU SENT THEM DIDN’T YOU!

Professor Schott: 
No, I did not, I am looking for my nephew Johnny! (James, Taylor & Marcella look at each other realizing what James did with a nervous smile on the three)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Well how is it that you know this… absurdity?

Professor Schott: 
Who? James? He was a student in my science course!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
So, you admit you sent him to see then try to steal the secret formula to my success.

TLOTA:
No! I am being honest with you now. I am on my way to a Convention and I was taking my friends to it as well! That is the One Hundred Percent truth!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:

SILENCE Let the professor and his crew stay for the night but in separate rooms. (Dissolve cut to The Forensic Scientist in his Library.)

The Forensic Scientist: 
As The night went on one of our two Heroines found themselves bored and looked around the manor eventually returning to the Laboratory (Cut to Taylor in the Laboratory)

Taylor: 
Oh, hey there, Rocky, is it? (Rocky grunts yarp) Look I want to thank you for being so kind, patient and understanding unlike your creator. Trust me, I’ve been hearing it from so many (“Touch-A, Touch-A Touch Me” Sound alike plays as Taylor begins to sing)

 I’ve been feeling down and out, in a tailspin. I'd never known success before. (Cut to Paramount and Tangerine)

Paramount: 
You mean she?

Tangerine: 
Uh huh (Cut to Taylor and Rocky)

Taylor (Singing):
I thought there was no real understanding what success had for me. I thought it led to hurting those around me. But now that I know what I need to grow! I’ve got the brass ring and I ain’t letting go!

(Cut to Paramount and Tangerine)

Paramount and Tangerine: 
Go! Go! GO!

(Cut to Taylor and Rocky)
Taylor (Singing):
I’m lowering my defenses! I’m giving up the resistance! I’ve got a need to fill and you’re the only one who can fit my bill at my insistence! Rock-A, Rock-A Rock Me! Don’t stop until IIII Scream! Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me! Creature o-of delight! If-a anything goes when I suck on your nose! I’ll lick you oh so clean from you head down to your toes!

(Cut to Paramount and Tangerine)

Paramount and Tangerine:
 Toes! Toes! TOES!

(Cut to Taylor and Rocky)

Taylor (Singing):
And that’s just a good percentage of what I can do with my independence! I can tell that you are a man and I’m the one who can help you go the distance! Rock-A, Rock-A Rock Me! Don’t stop until IIII Scream! Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me! Creature o-of delight!

(Cut to Paramount and Tangerine)

Paramount: 
Rock-A, Rock-A Rock Me!

Tangerine:
Don’t stop until IIII Scream!

Paramount:
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me!

Tangerine:
Creature o-of delight!

(Cut to Taylor and Rocky)

Taylor (Singing):
Oh Rock-A, Rock-A Rock Me! Don’t stop until IIII Scream! Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me! Creature o-of delight!

 (Cut to James, Dr. Vienerschnitzel, Marcella, The Forensic Scientist, Professor Schott, Paramount, Tangerine and Rick Roll as it dissolves between one of them saying “Creature Of Delight” and the couple getting it on before cutting back to Taylor and Rocky)

Taylor (Singing):
Creature o-of deli-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!

 (The echo of Taylor scream reaches the floor everyone else is on)

TLOTA: 
Say Professor, did you hear a (Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII)?

Professor Schott:
Why yes, I did hear a (Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII)!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I too heard a (Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) and it sounds like it came from the Laboratory! (Everyone loads up into the elevator before cutting to the Laboratory)

Marcella:
We heard a (Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) coming from here would Rocky know where’d come from

(Cut to Rocky Balboa outside of Rocky’s Tank)

Rocky Balboa: 
Hey yo, I think that (Mimics Taylor’s IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII) came from in the tank! (Cut to the others)

TLOTA:
What are you still doing here?

(Cut to Rocky Balboa outside of Rocky’s Tank)

Rocky Balboa: 
Well you see I’m just waitin’ for my ride! (Taylor and Rocky pop up out of the tank before cutting to James)

TLOTA:
OH MY GOD! (Cut to Marcella)

Marcella:
TAYLOR?! (Cut to Taylor)

Taylor:
MARCELLA! (Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
ROCKY! (Cut to Rocky Balboa)

Rocky Balboa:
Yo! (Cut to James)

TLOTA: 
NOT YOU!

(Cut to Marcella)

Marcella:
TAYLOR?! (Cut to Taylor)

Taylor:
MARCELLA! (Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
ROCKY! (Cut to Rocky Balboa)

Rocky Balboa:
Yo! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:

NOT YOU! (A Gong is rung before cutting to Tangerine in the elevator)

Tangerine:
I figured if you were all awake, maybe you’d like a bite to eat? (Cut to an overhead shot of the group.)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Yes, thank you Tangerine that would be most welcomed especially with tensions now at a climax.

(Cut to everyone in the dining room as it cuts to James and Professor Schott)

Professor Schott:
So, none of you have seen Johnny.

TLOTA:
Uh not recently.

(Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I did when he stopped off for a night. He’s still around!

(Cut to Taylor and Marcella)

Marcella:
You know I must ask…. (Marcella whispers into Taylor’s ear and Taylor whispers back and Marcella’s eyes bulge out of her head) YOWZA!

Taylor: 
And that was after James decided to check in on me!

Marcella:
Same here. (Cut to James and Professor Schott!)

TLOTA:
I didn’t check in on either of you, I thought it was you two checking in on me and Professor Schott!

Professor Schott:
You know I think it was Johnny! He would always do something that silly.

(Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
ENOUGH SUBTERFUGE! (Dr. Vienerschnitzel pulls off the tablecloth to reveal Johnny’s actual remains and everyone screams) It was I who did it all including killing Johnny! (Cut to James)

TLOTA:
I thought I did!

(Cut to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Sad to say that was the REAL Tommy Wiseau. Nevertheless, I did it all, except for you James you refused me. Why? (Cut to James)

TLOTA: 
It’s called saving myself for the future Mrs. James Faraci Thank You very little! So yeah call me a virgin if you will but you know at least I still have my dignity and the honor of being a man of my word and I hope you didn’t go near Taylor (James turns his head to the right as Taylor nervously frowns in shame before James turns his head to the left) Marcella?! (Marcella nervously frowns in shame as James sighs in defeat before cutting to Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Don’t deny it, I did the both of you and it was FUN!

(“Wise Up Janet Weiss” sound alike plays in the background as Dr. Vienerschnitzel grabs Taylor and the two try to fight in the elevator as Dr. Vienerschnitzel sings)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
I’ve said it once and it’s enough you better smarten up, Taylor Huff! Your little pie crust was OH So tough! You better smarten up Taylor Huff! (Cut to James and Marcella as they carry Professor Schott with them up to the laboratory before cutting back to Taylor and Dr. Vienerschnitzel as they reach the laboratory)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
You were so willing and OH SO FILLING!  Though You were as sensual as a pencil the two of us making, tell me as we made it did you hear the bird as you screamed or was it all faking! (Taylor kicks Dr. Vienerschnitzel in the midsection as James, Professor Schott and Marcella reach the lab at the same time Taylor and Dr. Vienerschnitzel.)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
You’ve had your time and it was enough. You better smarten up Taylor Huff! The Magnetizer will suffice for ya! (A Switch is thrown causing Taylor, James, Marcella and Professor Schott to be stuck in place)

Taylor:
My legs! They’re stuck!  Marcella, You too?

Marcella:
‘Fraid so! Professor can you move at all?

Professor Schott:
Afraid not Frauliens!

(James taps the side of his glasses and a sonic sound is emitted before he taps it again cutting the sonic sound)

TLOTA: 
Just as I thought, A Sonic magnet! Okay, you know there is Iron in our blood and Iron is a ferrous mineral. (Taylor and Marcella raise their hands in frustration)

Taylor and Marcella (In unison):
ENGLISH PLEASE!

TLOTA:
 It means it’s attracted to a magnet! Well in this case the Magnet is enhanced by a sonic frequency isolating the Iron and any other mineral attracted by a magnet in our blood, freezing us in place!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
YOU ARE! SO SMART! Quake in fear you fool! A mental mindfrack can be nice! (Marcella bites Dr. Vienerschnitzel’s hand as it touches Marcella’s face.)

Marcella:
You won’t get away with this you creep!

Professor Schott:
Yet you can try because you are not from here!

TLOTA:
Professor, you mean to tell me our host is not from this country?

Professor Schott:
Not even this planet and if he tries to escape he’ll successfully tear this planet apart.

Taylor:
So, everyone and thing on earth will be no more?

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
NO MORE! FOREVERMORE! TAYLOR!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
You better smarten up Taylor Huff! You better smarten up, build yourself up, you better smarten up! (Cut to the Forensic Scientist)

The Forensic Scientist:
And then James, Marcella and Taylor shouted. (Cut to the laboratory)

TLOTA, Marcella & Taylor (Singing in harmony):
STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Taylor smacks Dr. Vienerschnitzel)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
DON’T GET MAD OR HOT UNDER THE COLLAR! I’M JUST A LITTLE CLOSER!

TLOTA (Singing): 
YOU BETTER NOT GO NEAR HER OR I SWEAR YOU’VE PAID YOUR WAY TO HELL! VIENERSCHNITZEL! (Dr. Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word “Medusifier” is seen before James is frozen in a statue-esque filter around him!)

Professor Schott(Singing): 
YOU BETTER NOT GO NEAR HER OR I SWEAR YOU’VE PAID YOUR WAY TO HELL! VIENERSCHNITZEL! (Dr. Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word “Medusifier” is seen before Professor Schott is frozen in a statue-esque filter around him!)

Taylor and Marcella (Singing in Harmony): 
YOU BETTER NOT GO NEAR HER… (Dr. Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word “Medusifier” is seen before Taylor and Marcella are frozen in a statue-esque filter around them!)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
While I’m at it, do it to Rocky and Paramount!

Paramount:
Now wait a damned… (Dr. Vienerschnitzel snaps his fingers and a flash frame of the word “Medusifier” is seen before Rocky and Paramount are frozen in a statue-esque filter around them!)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
RICK ROLL, TANGERINE! PREPARE THEM! COME! IT IS TIME FOR THE FLOOR SHOW!

(Cut to the Forensic Scientist)

The Forensic Scientist:
After a few hours under the care of Tangerine and Rick Roll had gotten ready but little did they know what they were unleashing (Cut to the theater as the curtain opens as Dr. Vienerschnitzel come through the curtains before the curtains shows the statues made to his image.)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
Welcome as I show you my latest creation and my work. BEGIN THE MUSIC

(“Floor Show medley” sound alike plays and Paramount is de Medusified and sings and dances)

Paramount (Singing):
It was amazing when it began! You see I was a Viener fan! But it was over when he made it and then came his “Ultimate Fan”! Now my mental health is hanging off a rope! Cause I found me a brand-new dope! OH! aggrandize my world keep me away from the reality! (Paramount points to Rocky as he becomes de Medusified and sings and dances)

Rocky (Singing):
I’m only a half-day old, yet such a sight to behold! Yet no one has to be told that every one of my urges are totally controlled! Now the only thing I trust is my hands and they can’t rust! Oh ooooh oh OH! aggrandize my world keep me away from the reality! (Rocky points to James as he becomes de Medusified and sings and dances)

TLOTA (Singing):
Oooh, I can’t go farther, PLEAAASE Forgive Me Father! I’ll be loyal just you see! Take myself away from me! Where’s my spirit, Now I see, I feel human what’s happening? WOW! Here it goes again! (James points to Taylor and Marcella as they become de Medusified and sings and dances)

Taylor (Singing):
Ooooh now that we’ve been released!

Marcella (Singing):
All the bad thoughts they are decreased!

Taylor and Marcella (Singing in Harmony): 
Inhibitions they are deceased! Something new is here!

Marcella (Singing):
The band has broken!

Taylor (Singing):
Our hearts are swollen! It’s been so fun since Rocky was rollin’

Marcella (Singing):
The thrust is so severe! (The curtains open again to show the Manic-Expression.com logo with Dr. Vienerschnitzel on the top of the dot.)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel (Singing):
Whatever happened to Christy Romano, the girl who every guy loved on Kim Possible and the Shia LaBeouf show! As she endured all of Shia’s screams, I could see her dreams being flushed down the drain! Surrender to the total rapture! Dive into the waters of the feel of flesh! Exotic dreams beyond all human pleasure and personal hopes are your treasure eternally! Can you all feel it? WHOA-OA-OH! Don’t fake it! Make it!

TLOTA, Paramount, Rocky, Dr. Vienerschnitzel, Taylor and Marcella (Singing in Harmony): 
Don’t fake it! Make it!

TLOTA, Paramount, Rocky, Dr. Vienerschnitzel, Taylor and Marcella (Singing in Harmony): 
Don’t fake it! Make it!

(Professor Schott becomes de Medusified and talks to James)

Professor Schott:
James, we must find a way out!

TLOTA:
I don’t think I can make it! My brains are starting to get warped!

Professor Schott: 
You must be strong! You must hold on! Do not fall for the trap! Or your life will be sapped…

Professor Schott (Singing):
By the wro-oong GIRL! (A blaster shot breaks the musical number as James protects Taylor, Marcella and Professor Schott)

Rick Roll:
 Vienerschnitzel, it's all over! The mission is a failure! Your lifestyle's too extreme! I'm now the commander! You now are the prisoner! We return to fanlove.com! Ready the teleport beam!

Dr. Vienerschnitzel: 
Never! NEVER! YOU’LL HAVE TO KILL ME BEFORE YOU CONDEMN ME!

TLOTA (Sounding like Tim Curry):
THAT CAN BE ARRANGED! (Cut to Everyone turning to look at James)

Taylor:
James? Are you okay?

TLOTA (Sounding like Tim Curry):
Push me, please. Harder, please.

 (Cut to Everyone looking at James)

Marcella: 
 James, have you lost what little sense you had in your head?

TLOTA (Sounding like Tim Curry):
No, Communism was just a Red Herring!

(Cut to Everyone looking at James while he recites King Chicken’s backstory)

Paramount:
Hey Doc, Am I gonna be doing what he’s doing?

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I have no clue! This is unprecedented! This is amazing!

 TLOTA (Sounding like Tim Curry):
The black spot? You dare to give me the black spot? Drawn on a page torn from a page from the bible. You tore a page from the holy scriptures, to make a pirate’s death sentence. Oh, the red-hot gates of hell are creeping open. Satan is heating his pokers for you for you, you blasphemous heathens. Fall down on your knees and beg for deliverance from damn…. (James spazzes out before cutting to everyone looking in absolute fear or wonder if James is going to explode right then and there before cutting to James Stabilizing)

TLOTA (Sounding like Tim Curry):
Excuse me sir but do you have Prince Albert in a can? Ya do? Well ya better let the poor guy out! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! WA-HA! (Cut to Everyone looking at James while he continues to Wa-Ha!)

Dr. Vienerschnitzel:
I don’t know what is happening! I swear I don’t know if I can cure him!

Professor Schott:
I think I know what is wrong with Herr Faraci, the mixture of the Sonic devices in his glasses, mixed with the Sonic Magnetizer combined with the Madusifier and everything that happened has left his cerebrum and other control centers in his brain completely beyond repair. In short…(Professor Schott stands up out of his wheelchair and shocks everyone as his suit is slowly replaced with The Last Of The Americans’ usual garb and takes the sonic glasses off of James and takes the morpher off of James’ garter belt before James says “Have A Lovely Day” in the Tim Curry voice and dissolves into a puddle of goo and Professor Schott takes off his glasses and pulls his holographic mask is taken off to reveal the real James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and he puts on his sonic glasses as 6:23-7:33 of “A Good Man” by Murray Gold plays in the background)

TLOTA:
You owe me a Flesh Based Avatar DOC!

(Cut to everyone else)

Taylor: 
Would someone mind filling in the people who are not SCI-FI aficionados?

(Cut to James)

TLOTA:
Simple, I knew Dr. Vienerschnitzel has been trying for a while to build his monster but believe it or not he’s evaded all earthly laws, I knew going in would be a mistake on my part but I knew if I didn’t he’d continue in his experiment which I see he succeeded in. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my device through until the shield was deactivated, which was around the time Rocky had been completed the double did that when he looked at the panel as that was being brought to life. I had no intentions of shirking my responsibilities to either You or Marcella it just turned out that I had one opportunity to end that madman next to you and by happenstance help you get to the con.

(Cut to Rick Roll and Tangerine)

Tangerine:
 He shall face judgement back on fanlove.com!

(Cut to James)

TLOTA: 
Still better safe than sorry. (James pulls out SPD Morpher) You are charged with multiple murders, multiple violations of the Space Patrol Delta treaty of 1982 and every violation of the entire Shadow Proclamation! Judgement Mode! (The SPD Morpher goes between a green circle and a red x before settling on the red x) Guilty! Okay, you two can take him back and no one has to die! (Rocky tries to run to Dr. Vienerschnitzel before he was shot by Rick Roll and Paramount is hit by a stray from Tangerine and Dr. Vienerschnitzel is shot as he tries to go to Rocky and James runs to Rick Roll and Tangerine, pulls out his Sonic Screwdriver disabling Rick Roll and Tangerine’s blasters) DAMN IT, I SAID NO ONE HAD TO DIE DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?!

(Cut to Rick Roll and Tangerine)

Rick Roll:
When someone is found guilty no matter how they are incarcerated The Guilty Party and those associated who willing aided him are executed on site!

TLOTA:
Well what about the two of you? I guess when you broke the musical number Your allegiance ended. Well then allow me to say You have one galactic hour to get off my planet before I call the authorities.

Tangerine:
The Proper authorities have been notified as they have been and we have been cleared to leave.

TLOTA: 
Fine. But if you ever come back here, consider yourselves Grass! Ladies! To the Wheelchair! (Cut to James as he, Taylor and Marcella go to the Wheelchair)

Marcella:
Now what? There’s only room for one!

TLOTA: 
Wait one second. (James taps the bridge of his glasses as molecules surround the three as it becomes James’ Time and Space Device and it disappears out of the building before cutting to the outside as the house launches into outer space before cutting to James, Marcella and Taylor as they look up into the sky)

Taylor:
We’ll never have a full explanation as to why and how things got so messed up aren’t we?

TLOTA: 
Yep!

Marcella:
Sort of like how the Rocky Horror Picture Show stay so well known to everyone.

TLOTA: 
There is a reason.

(Cut to audio sound alike to “Time Warp” plays in the background and James does a voiceover on stills from the movie.)

TLOTA (Voiceover):
Because it resonates to everyone. No matter what their race, gender, political affiliation, personal orientation or whatever makes us different on the outside. Because we somehow find some common ground with the characters or the Rock Opera style as to how the story of “Frankenstein” is done or just because it is FUN and with everything we are dealing with, we need FUN a lot more. Maybe we need to see something fun done the right way unlike the Live TV remake that happened around this time last year and this is FUN in a unique way. Is it for everyone? Well I wouldn’t show it to anyone under sixteen but I see why everyone would like it and for many who were and a part of the experience would pass it on to the next generation but if you’re going to do so, do it carefully. (Cut to James, Marcella and Taylor outside the crater of where the manor was)

Taylor:
Well can I ask something? Was Professor Schott real? Was Johnny real? (Cut to “Johnny” standing by the minivan)

Johnny:
There was no Johnny! I am Johnny but everyone knows me as someone else. (Johnny takes off his mask to reveal himself to be Tommy Wiseau played by Paulo Fonseca)

Tommy Wiseau:
I am Tommy Wiseau! (Cut to James, Marcella and Taylor outside the crater of where the manor was)

Marcella:
So, when James “Killed” you?
(Cut to Tommy Wiseau standing by the minivan)
Tommy Wiseau:
He shot me with Mel! (Cut to James, Marcella and Taylor outside the crater of where the manor was)
TLOTA:
I think he means Blanks! (Taylor and Marcella go “OH!” before cutting to Tommy Wiseau standing by the Minivan)

Tommy Wiseau:
I have to go now! Here are your keys to the van! Bye! (Tommy Wiseau walks away leaving Taylor, Marcella and James understandably confused.)

TLOTA: 
I’ll tell you everything about the plan later. (Taylor and Marcella throw their hands up in defeat and walk off screen) I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and... One moment. (Cut to the Forensic Scientist’s library.)

TLOTA: 
Dude, I’ve got this. (The Forensic Scientist walks away as “Superheroes” sound alike from the 2:20-3:03 mark plays in the background)

TLOTA (Sing Speak):
And somewhere out there, in the depths of space. Lies a bright and stable sun and on its third satellite the human race! Through their own ego, lead to everyone dying and somewhere out there…God is crying! (James walks away from the brightly lit globe as backup singers sing “CRY-Y-Y-ING!” and James closes the door as the globe shuts off.)