Monday, March 20, 2017

Behind The Scenes: Bad Romance: My Super Ex-Girlfriend/Valentine's Day/Hitch

(Scene begins with James off screen and everyone ready to move forward.)

James Faraci (Off-screen): Everyone ready? (Everyone nods) ready and ACTION! (Everyone walks forward until Nick's bow string snaps and Eric falls down and everyone laughs and James shouts CUT! Scene cuts to James as he drives up to the studio as Combine Harvester plays in the background.)

James Faraci: So we're filming three months of reviews in about two months work of time because by the end of February Eliza and Traci will be leaving and I want to focus all of March and April on the future of 2017.  (Cut to James, Nick, Paulo, Eric, John and Mike taking apart the couch.)

James Faraci: One benefit to having a couch that can easily disassemble is that it will go through the doors easily and be placed on a device I designed. It works on a controlled spring which will go about 57 degrees from the left to the right each way. John, Mike, Eric after I do the test run. (Cut to James strapped down to the couch piece wearing a helmet and readying to go flying across the green screen room.)

James Faraci: So on three, I'm going to get launched. I am doing the testing before I let anyone else do this because it's proof to know that even though they have to go through this, I'm willing to put myself in danger first in order to keep everyone else safe. (Cut to the test footage showing James letting go too early and hurting himself landing in the wall before cutting to James getting up)

James Faraci: Okay if you guys let go too early you will be hitting the wall at about back smacking speed! I hit the wall at like 10 Miles Per Hour and my ass is hurting like a bitch! (Cut to James getting ready to film his brother as he gets ready to toss a Tuna at the same height as Eliza Dushku can toss a fish.)

James Faraci (Off-Screen): Okay Chris my left hand is going to be under the table and when you see the sign, toss the tuna! Never thought I'd ever hear myself say that.

Chris: And the table will collapse on cue?

James Faraci (Off-Screen): I built it myself, of course it'll collapse and for the record there is a cooler lined with plastic for the Tuna to land in there. (Cut to James looking at the camera as the fish lands and the table does NOT collapse and James says "Cut" in frustrated disgust. Scene cuts to James as he holds up the double barreled handgun and it falls apart in James's hands and James goes on a cursing streak before cutting to James working on the gun)

John Santos (Audio only): So what happened?

James Faraci: The first Screen Accurate Prop I made for the Green Hornet review back in 2013 fell apart! Fortunately, I've been able to keep Spare pieces in case of an event like this but I think this is a sign that my past bad luck is either catch up with my ass or something is going to change and I need to break away with something that's been holding me back. (Cut to James framing the scene including an empty bottle of wine.)

James Faraci: So ladies you will be sitting together on the left, guys will be on the right side. The ladies will sit where they can be comfortable and it'll go the following for the guys Paulo, Nick, John, Mike and Eric.

Olivia Horvath (Audio only): So this is real wine?

James Faraci: Only the stuff in the bottle I opened that up about five seconds ago. I mainly use alcohol and wine for cooking purposes. In the glasses just so happen to be Grape juice. Okay Paulo & Nick can you look like your faces have like a dull surprise look on them like this. (James shows the face Paulo & Nick are supposed to have.) Got it?

Nick Yaun (Audio only): Got it (Cut to everyone getting ready on the couch as James preps the cameras.)

James Faraci (Audio only): Okay, I'm going to say my lines about how you guys are handling this movie and if you think of anything funny after I say my lines, just say it and I'll incorporate it into the sketch.

Eliza Dushku: How about we kind of acknowledge that the movie is god awful and the other guys will mumble because they're jacked up on Horse Tranquilizers.

James Faraci (Audio only): Okay, let's try that. (Cut to the multiple attempts to say the lines as James laughs or someone else laughs.) I'll clean that up in post. (Cut to James and the guys as they're dressed as bugs and Olivia films.)

John Santos: Been busting my ass off trying to get into wrestling and the entertainment world and I wind up an insect in front of a green screen.

Paulo Fonseca: I've always known I'm a little buggy in the head! (Cut to James talking to Melissa Benoist and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Olivia films)

Olivia Horvath (Audio only): So today is green screen day, we just filmed all the insect scenes and who's next in the Green Screen?

James Faraci: Well that's what me, Dwayne and Melissa were discussing, I figure ladies first and therefor we're going to film with Melissa and you need to be dressed as Edna Mode from "The Incredibles" Tout suite, Eliza is getting ready to become Wonder Woman and Tracy is getting ready to be Batgirl. (Cut to John filming from far away.)

James Faraci (Audio from far away): So I'll say my lines to you Olivia and Melissa when I point to you, you'll land next to Olivia then I'll point to you Eliza you'll jump in when I point to you and when I raise my hand Tracy, that'll be your cue. So, is everyone ready? (Everyone nods yeah.) Okay, places everyone we'll be filming in 3,2..AND ACTION! (John watches trying not to laugh as filming happens and things move quickly as James says his lines off screen and everyone get the take as James tries to say cut before James yells "CUT" and everything goes silent.)

James Faraci (Audio from far away): Wow, I really sounded angry when I had to shout that and I do apologize but you guys went way too far! (Cut to James converting part of his business office to accommodate the lighting and filming rigs.)

James Faraci: So I wanted to just cut down filming time and now I'm going to film in my business office and I'm converting the my old office into a second filming set and extra prop room and I'm going to retire it by dumping mail and I'll be testing it on me. (Cut to test footage as James has mail dumped on him including packages as James comes up and out of it with a few small cuts.)

James Faraci: So I just had mail dumped on me and I'm a little sore and a little banged up but results will vary when everyone has the pile dumped on them but to save myself some time I made a makeshift pile which has special holes for everyone from the shoulders down to be in the pile and when we introduce Felix Twitch all we have to do is have him kind of pop out of the center as we get thrown in every different direction possible. (Cut to James and everyone getting comfortable inside the pile as everyone says their lines and the pile does not break open and James goes into the pile and cut the duct taped pieces and they try again and it works before cutting to James opening his door as everyone else in Team TLOTA does the Chicken dance in their underwear and James closes the door and everyone laughs and James says cut)