Wednesday, December 21, 2016

The Top 10 moments of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans in 2016!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then cutting to James in his chair)

TLOTA: I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and the views that I'm about to express are that of my own and some of yours. Well, the best description of 2016 is Bipolar and that's being nice! But this time around before we get to the Top 10 believe it not we've got some honorable mentions before we get started. So let's get to them! (Cut to clips of review and other moments that happened as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover):

The Rowdy and Friends Fantasy League Sketch) Meant to parody one of the biggest online league player trading scandals I was proud to be a part of this sketch just for the fact I could get to be onscreen and me getting to be onscreen even for a moment.

Tipsy Gentlemen: Passion Of The Christ 2, Bibleman Animated Series and Nostalgia Christian/Say Goodnight Kevin) Being honest as I could I wanted to share my thoughts on certain things and express myself onto a different forum and do so intelligently and I want thank Chris T. Ian for allowing me to be intelligent about my beliefs.

The Kick-Ass Review) Honestly this was meant to be done in November of 2015 but the timing I had at the time was bad as was the fact I hadn't done another "Different Cuts" in a while meant something had to be postponed this review had to be it but it did lead to a lot of great silly moments and started the "Mystery Of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans" storyline.

The Top 10 Good Things to come from Michael Bay's Transformers) Going in I knew these movies were not going to be Shakespeare and finding those ten moments were a freaking chore for me. But I got the Job done and it helped lead into something that made the top 10 list.

The Top 13 Buffy & Angel Episodes) To be honest not my best list but there were some great moments like when I did a "Bar Rescue" Sketch and was a great lead into..

The Tribute To The Magic Of David Copperfield) Something I felt I had to do for one of the first things I religiously tuned into as a kid and remembered and remains with me to remind me of how much of a kid at heart I still am!

The Disney Descendants April Fools Review) Having seen my friend's review on the DCOM. Doing this review straight would've driven me to drink! But I think having Nick play a Raoul Duke Esque character in order to do and say the things I didn't want to or could say without coming off like a knock off of The Rowdy Reviewer's version of the review.

The Five Things I disliked and liked about "Superman V Batman Dawn Of Justice") I had to break character to be honest with myself and with everyone I know who had seen this movie and I needed to say it the way I needed to talk about it!

(Cut to James physically)

TLOTA: And seeing as how I broke character to talk about "Superman V Batman Dawn Of Justice" (James pulls out the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and unlocks the latch to the door that holds James' card and powers down and becomes James Faraci)

James Faraci: I got the five moments everyone else liked and I've got my five. It's time for the Top 10 Moments of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans in 2016!

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2015 calendar year of his reviews ranging from James landing on Linkara, to James getting his nards smashed, To Josie & The Pussycats running into James’ office, to James and Paulo dressed as the Mario Brothers on a snow sled, to Everyone at team TLOTA running out of James’ office, to James leading the charge against the Cullens and the vampires of The Twilight Saga, to Rowdy turning his head to Paulo with a demented smile on his face as everyone save for James looks scared as James has his right hand with defeat on his face until the 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James pulls out a sonic screwdriver towards the Power Rangers then cuts over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo Fonseca, John Santos, Eliza Dushku & Eric Kurtzke on his right andRebecca & Nick Yaun, Traci Hines, Renee Miller and Mike Santos on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it with the words "The Top ten moments" and underneath "The Last Of The Americans" is "Of  2016" then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Number ten

10) This review is "Happening" hot stuff!

James Faraci (Voiceover): Knowing this movie had been reviewed to freaking death, I figure I'd be the one to actually bury reviewing this turkey for good! The Nostalgia Critic's review made it safe for me to review but after watching the movie I found myself laughing myself cuckoo! The movie was M. Night Shaymalan at his most doped up and it shows! Hell Mark Wahlberg was possibly the loudest voice as to how much he disliked this movie. But for me, the best parts of the review was the opening when I did a parody of the scene in Airplane when one of the passengers start to have a nervous breakdown. But instead of me acting crazy from fear, I was crazy from laughing and the fact everyone tried to calm me down the way they did then there was the mid-review sketch featuring Cinema Sins Jeremy and Alton Brown played by Nick Yaun was some of my most creative writing I did in a long time then there was the "What?! NO!" moment. I thought of some of the best questions I could think of and I needed to make a subtle add in to the "Mystery Of James Faraci" storyline I made for Eliza and to be honest the most notable moments in the movie just made my review easy but it was one of the best for me to enjoy and work on.

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voice over): Number nine

9) Jim vs "Jem"

James Faraci (Voice over): "Jem & The Holograms" was the movie that everyone and their GRANDPARENTS knew was dead on arrival! So for me personally I had no interest in reviewing it at all. But surprisingly it became one of my best reviews but how did this happen? Well we have the Blockbuster Buster to thank for this one. He had used a video of one of The Last Of The American's team members, Traci Hines if you need to know, in his review which got me wondering what it would've been like if Traci had seen it and how she'd like to get her revenge for knowing their video was nearly in this turkey. So yeah the star in this review wasn't The Last Of The Americans or the movie itself, it's Traci! That's right I gave her all the spotlight to be as funny and crazy as she needed to be on. However this one had it's fair share of problems. First off, The scheduled release date was supposed to be on September 12th! Several days after a scheduled crossover between my friend Rowdy, Writrzblok & The Cartoon Hero but that crossover was delayed due to conditions beyond normal conditions so to save my friend's backside I had to post my review first so I could save my friend's backside and posted mine first! But I want to once again thank Olivia Horvath for putting up with all the chaos in this review and helping me out with the technical details.

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voice over): Number eight

8) Highlander II The Different Cuts


James Faraci (Voice over): This one almost broke me! But it was worth the time and effort because WHOO NELLY watching just the theatrical cut alone was an endurance trial. Sitting through the fan cuts nearly sent me to the funny farm. But as you can tell the results were worth the time, effort and sanity plus having Spoony back the whole review in his own way made the experience all the more pleasurable! But the best parts was when I wrote for Eliza Dushku and her reactions to the comments Spoony made which I had to whisper to her because of obvious reasons. So letting Spoony know that even though he may have regained some respect and forgiveness from the Internet Reviewing community trust me no one will fully forget but I hope this does something to remind us we need to be careful in what we say and how we act and treat each other.

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voice over): Number Seven

7) All The "Peanuts" movies


James Faraci (Voice over): Partly inspired by my love of The Peanuts and the Specials and movies and partly inspired by The Nostalgia Critic's mini-reviews all of the Looney Tunes movies. I wanted to do something similar and for me I had all the material I needed and it was easy enough since last year The classic four movies that were made between 1969 & 1980 were made available on DVD & Blu-Ray and that made it much easier for me to do these reviews. But as I was watching them again I saw things differently. It was like looking at them for the first time and seeing them for how awesome they truly were and how much of an impact they had on me as not only as a fan of Peanuts but also a fan of animation in general and how much effort to make these movies and how they should be as appreciated as The Classic Disney animated movies are. The latest one I went with my nieces and because we did enjoy it I knew it was on par with the classic four so it was easy to know that it belonged on this and how much of an impact these movies would have on me. So Charlie Brown if you think I held that football long enough for you to kick it. You're most welcomed!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Number six

6) The Three Months of Batman movies


James Faraci (Voice over): Not just my review of "The Dark Knight Rises" I'm talking about all three months of my work from the Bat-Months. The review of the 1966 Batman movie review was possibly the funniest review I had ever done. I always felt the more family friendly version of  "Batman Beyond: Return Of The Joker" was the one with the most depth and possibly did the job of telling the story better and trust me if I never watch "The Dark Knight Rises" it will be too damned soon! But I got some of the best story telling and by all accounts the best ending to a three month review arc! I wanted to show how far Batman has fallen and how far if he's done the right way he can truly rise and not in the way Christopher Nolan's movie made it out to be! (Cut to James and Team TLOTA emerging from the shadows and pulling out Megaforce Morphers and inserting their own cards with their own stats done by Stevie Swiggart and Powering up into a battle ready form as they walk on the rooftop of James’ office building as the wind blows in their faces as camera rises over the team to see the American Flag and James’ signal in the sky as Batman "Finale" from the 1989 soundtrack plays in the foreground.)

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)


James Faraci (Voiceover): Number five

5) The Big 3


James Faraci (Voice over): The Big 3 consists of my first big three reviews I did on Myspace before Myspace reformatted it site. These reviews consisted of Channel Awesome's Second, third and fourth year anniversary specials. Interweaving the ending of the storyline was something that was just incidental. However this also brought kind of a sense of closure to my past because now I could move forward and not feel like a chapter or three was missing. Also this IS also the last big several day Anniversary special and I think I did end it on a good note. A new Morpher for my card, a new look for my character and afterwards re-reviewing these a new perspective on where I've been and where I can now go from here on out.

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)


James Faraci (Voiceover): Number Four

4) Reality Checkout: Reality Romance

James Faraci (Voice over): This was something I wanted to get out of me! I mean I have NO love for this genre of "Television" it's an insult to intelligence. It's an insult to Romance in general. Reality Romance STILL to me remains one of the worst things humanity has brought upon itself and this is 2016! The Year we put Donald Trump into the Office of President! But yet somehow this still remains one of the worst things humanity has done! As far as I'm concerned it is a glorified meat market that takes the ones that with the least amount of substance and the most amount of filler without anything with taste. I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO SEE ALL THOSE INVOLVED TO SUFFER THE MOST HORRIBLE FATE EVER! I HOPE TO EVERY DEITY THAT HUMANS BECOME MORE INTELLIGENT AND SEND THIS GARBAGE BACK INTO THE DEPTHS FROM WHENCE IT CAME!


(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Number three

3) The Ghostbusters 2016 review!


James Faraci (Voiceover): The first time I did a review of a movie at the time I did while it was in it's theatrical run and for me it was worth it. I wrote the review just as The Nostalgia Critic was doing his. Even though his review was on the now defunct Vessel.com a week before I could get mine out. And yes, I did copy some of The Critic's jokes like with the Meninists. But as where he just sat and heard all the arguing including that from the Meninists. I did something different! I shut those jackasses down by having Eliza Kiss and have her way with me! Then came the fact instead of me dealing with the arguments that had the internet ablaze all because James Rolfe said that he wasn't going to review the 2016 Ghostbusters movie! That's all he said but somehow it divided the Internet Reviewer community. I chose to stay in the middle of the road until I saw the movie and I actually thought the movie for the most part was Pretty Great. I found a lot for me to like and I found a lot for me to use for my review and it was for me one of the best from 2016 I did and I am grateful to everyone who knew I meant to be honest and I did better than the Nostalgia Critic in certain areas but he did better me with two little things. One was Jason Laws and the line "You've got a monkey in a religion" and the other was Aiyanna Wade! Somewhere in the back of my screwy cerebellum I started to think "Yeah she's kind of good looking!" and maybe I'm right for thinking that but something tells me I'm better off not pursuing a crush that might not give me the time of day. But I did one of my best reviews of the year with this one!

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it then the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): Number two

2) The Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie Review

James Faraci (Voiceover): I SO WANT TO THANK GUS "THE NOSTALGIA KID" WEBB & CHRIS LEE "ROWDY C" MOORE SO VERY MUCH FOR DOING THIS WITH ME! Okay backstory behind this review. Gus was planning on doing a tribute to those on board the Satellite Of Love and the movies they had to sit through and that got me thinking about the movie they made and how I could do something to honor it. The best way I could think about it was to do my review in the same vein as an episode of MST3K. Having A Mad and an Assistant coming up with a way to torment me and my friends with a bad movie. And generally bad adaptations of our childhood favorites is the best way to piss Internet Reviewers off. But this was one of the rare ones that was awesome because it stayed true to what it was doing. And keeping the review in the same vein as Mystery Science Theater 3000 was definitely one of the reasons everyone myself included loved working on and checking out this review!

(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Robo Knight Robo Morpher and punching in the code 428 from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Long sleeve Tee-Shirt with the American flag design on it, Blue cargo Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2015 calendar year of his reviews ranging from James landing on Linkara, to James getting his nards smashed, To Josie & The Pussycats running into James’ office, to James and Paulo dressed as the Mario Brothers on a snow sled, to Everyone at team TLOTA running out of James’ office, to James leading the charge against the Cullens and the vampires of The Twilight Saga, to Rowdy turning his head to Paulo with a demented smile on his face as everyone save for James looks scared as James has his right hand with defeat on his face until the 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James pulls out a sonic screwdriver towards the Power Rangers then cuts over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo Fonseca, John Santos, Eliza Dushku & Eric Kurtzke on his right and Rebecca & Nick Yaun, Traci Hines, Renee Miller and Mike Santos on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on itthen the camera zooms to the backside of the slab with the number and James doing a voiceover the clip.)

James Faraci (Voiceover): And THE Number one moment everyone liked in 2016 about The Last of The Americans is...

1) "Star Wars: The Force Analyzed"!

James Faraci (Voiceover): Doing this was the most rewarding and subsequently the most fun I had writing on a subject that has been deemed untouchable but somehow I was able to encapsulate the universe of Star Wars and all of the delicate intricacies of that universe in order for me to explain why I liked the First six and in order to explain why I liked The Force Awakens. I made my own version of it because I couldn't do The Force Awakens any justice with a review. Making it in the same way The Nostalgia Critic talked about Mad Max Fury Road. Put myself into the experience of being in a universe just like Star Wars and  talk about my experiences with the entire Star Wars movies while telling a great Star Wars esque story using other well known characters in Sci-Fi and boy did I succeed in that. It's the best moment of 2016 because for me it is the best review I've done! (Cut to clip of James Running to his Time and Space Device as Tray carries Tenn to the Falcon before cutting to footage of “The Day Of The Doctor” in which The 11th Doctor shouts “GERONIMO!” The 10th Doctor shouting “ALLONS-Y!” and The War Doctor saying “Ugh, For God’s Sake!” before cutting to see James’ Time and Space Device getting the hell out of Dodge as a gigantic explosion like experience happens! Before cutting to James in his office.)

James Faraci: So those were the Top 10 moments of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans of 2016. What does 2017 hold? (Cut to clips of future reviews as James does a voiceover)

James Faraci (Voiceover): 2017 promises to be one of the biggest years for me with more Reviews, editorials and behind the scenes of the events featuring Team "The Last Of The Americans" and in addition to that a new summer series that will involve some series from the land down under created by a man named Jonathan M. Schiff. And Starting January a three month nightmare for me. A three month trek into hell called "Bad Romance". This and more will come in 2017 from James Faraci The Last Of The Americans (Cut to James physically)

James Faraci: Now if you'll excuse me! (James grabs the Robo Knight Robo Morpher puts the card into the slot and punches the code 428 and morphs back into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA: I've got a ton of work to do! I'm James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and I'll see you in 2017!