Thursday, June 25, 2015

The End Of Mankind Part Two

(Scene starts with Hyper Fan Girl looks at herself in total shock and trying not to believe it)

Hyper Fan Girl (C): This can't be happening. I knew ORAC said the coordinates were approximate but this is like shooting for the moon and hitting Pluto instead?! How am I going to convince myself let alone anyone else that I am The Nostalgia Critic and not the nut job that I'm stuck in! Gahh!

Hyper Fan Girl (Audio only): Hey! Over here, look in the mirror. ("Critic" in Hyper Fan Girl turns to the Mirror)

Hyper Fan Girl (M): Hi Critic, it's me Hyper Fan Girl (Cut to Hyper Fan Girl)

Hyper Fan Girl (C): I remember you who you are. How could this have happened? (Cut to Hyper Fan Girl in the Mirror)

Hyper Fan Girl (M): Well you must've been thinking of me in some capacity.(Cut to Hyper Fan Girl)

Hyper Fan Girl (C):Well to be honest I had a feeling you would want to help. (Cut to Hyper Fan Girl in the Mirror)

Hyper Fan Girl (M): Just not having me host your energies.(Cut to Hyper Fan Girl)

Hyper Fan Girl (C): Do you know how what everyone is going to do when I ask them for their help?(Cut to Hyper Fan Girl in the Mirror)

Hyper Fan Girl (M): Maybe you shouldn't be asking everyone of them all at once. Try one and if that one believes you the rest should be a piece of pie.(Cut to Hyper Fan Girl)

Hyper Fan Girl (C): Well I can't go to myself. Who can I go to?(Cut to Hyper Fan Girl in the Mirror thinking and coming to a smile before cutting James, Paulo & Rebecca Fonseca ending the tour of the Studio to John & Mike Santos, Eric Kurtzke and Renee Miller)

Eric Kurtzke: For such an unremarkable place you do quite remarkable work.

John Santos: So when do we start?

TLOTA: Well me, Paulo and Rebecca got the ball rolling here in October with my "Top 13 Vampire Movies better than "The Twilight Saga"". I got myself restarted in June of 2013  and now I'm on the path of The Internet Reviewer and you guys barring any problem will begin in April with my review of "Willow"

Renee Miller: You mean that movie with that little guy with Val Kilmer?

Mike Santos: I think you mean Top Gun!

Eric Kurtzke: Well you mistook Warwick Davis for Tom Cruise.

Paulo Fonseca: Well to be honest Warwick is taller than Tom Cruise.

TLOTA: Ooh! Awesome Burn on Cruise!

ORAC (Audio only): ALERT! ALERT! Hyper Fan Girl is outside.

TLOTA: What? (Everyone runs out to see Hyper Fan Girl)

TLOTA: Why are you here and how did you get out of the nuthouse?

Hyper Fan Girl (C): James, I know you think I'm Hyper Fan Girl but it's me. It's The Critic.

TLOTA: Jay Sherman?

Hyper Fan Girl (C): No

TLOTA: Roger Ebert?

Hyper Fan Girl (C): No

TLOTA: Gene Siskel?

Hyper Fan Girl (C): No

TLOTA: Richard Roeper? David Edelstein? A.O. Scott? Michael Phillips? David Denby? Elvis Mitchell? Christy Lemire? Ignatiy Vishnevetsky? Leonard Maltin? Jeffrey Lyons? Joel Siegel? Gene Shalit?

Hyper Fan Girl (C): No not a single one of them. You remember my intro. (Hyper Fan Girl coughs and flawlessly says "Hello, I'm The Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.")

TLOTA: Seriously? (Hyper Fan Girl nods yes) You are "The Nostalgia Critic" ?(Hyper Fan Girl nods yes) I need a moment for this to sink in will everyone excuse me for a moment. (James walks away closing the door to the office building and proceeds to laugh uncontrollably for a good two minutes before walking back to everyone else.) Okay "Critic" if it's really you. Tell me something no one else knows about.

Hyper Fan Girl (C): Well for example you were doing an archeological dig when you found the sword while I ran Kickassia.

TLOTA: Anyone could've talked about it.

Hyper Fan Girl (C): You stole Ma-Ti's Ring after he died.

TLOTA: It was fair game and it was the Ring Of Aeon before Ma-Ti got it.

Hyper Fan Girl (C): Caliverti! That's right. Who else knows about Caliverti?

ORAC (Audio only): It is on the news right now!

TLOTA: What? (Everyone rushes in as scene cuts to E-Rod fresh and fully dressed from his Blockbuster Slumber)

E-Rod: So I've got a Pros vs. Cons before I work on my 200th episode and after that is....(Knock on the door.)

JARVIS: Sir, someone is at the door.

E-Rod: I'm aware JARVIS! (E-Rod goes and opens the door)

E-Rod: Hello.

Lazarus Dark (Audio only): You robbed me of my chance. Now that you're out of your slumber, I shall rob you of everything you hold dear!

E-Rod: SHIT! (E-Rod tries to close the door when a hand stops him before cutting back to see a GNN report and a news reporter played by Carey Denise Moore is on the screen.)

News reporter: Senator Michaud and the coalition he's working with will continue to push the Internet Protection Act until and I quote "The Internet is free from all that is wrong with it." End quote. We will keep up with the latest on his act. And in interesting News an ancient Island appeared from out of nowhere as many have claimed it either as one of two possibilities. The fabled Atlantis or possibly the less well known continent of Caliverti. While the possibility for either is there all we know now for sure is that things are different.(Cut to everyone on the couch)

TLOTA: Look at that.

Paulo: What is it?

TLOTA: ORAC Capture that image and magnify behind the mountain. (Cut to the image on the screen which shows a rift in the sky.)

TLOTA (Audio only): I've seen this before. (Cut to James going into the backroom where a lot of the props and weapons are stored and James grabs his laptop and discovers several more images of the rift in Scotland 1560, The day James saved the world from the plot hole and in an image of Caliverti the day Everyone saved Caliverti before cutting to James and everyone on team "The Last Of The Americans)

TLOTA: I've got no other choice. ORAC! Contact Rowdy and then any and everyone available in Channel Awesome, Manic Expression,The Reviewerverse anywhere and everywhere because we're gonna need all the help we can get. (Cut to E-Rod removed of his Blockbuster Buster powers inside a fridge and E-Rod's Hammer in Lazarus' hand.)

Lazarus Dark (Audio only): You need not worry too much. (Cut to Lazarus transforming into an E-Rod duplicate)
Lazarus Dark: By the time your legion find out it'll be too late. (Lazarus closes the door)