Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Rowdy, The Last Of The Americans and a bunch of "Fox Kids" Co-Written by Chris Lee Moore "The Rowdy Reviewer"


(A Hand pulling a card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Megaforce Morpher from the 0:00-0:03 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run. 0:04 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows James Faraci morphing into James Faraci The Last Of The Americans with his Black Tee-Shirt with the American flag on it, Blue Jeans and Tan Work boots until 0:07 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run as scene cuts to James stocking up on his arsenal from the Classic Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers Morpher, a bandoleer stocked up with Sonic Screwdrivers, Ammunition for a 303 British Rifle and said rifle, The Ring Of Aeon, The Gem From the Gauntlet Malachite’s Hand, Emmalina’s amulet and the Sword Of Caliverti from 0:08-0:15 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators. 0:15-0:29 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run shows James leaping and running through moments from the 2014 calendar year of his reviews ranging from James getting hit with an uppercut by Trina Mason to James punching Dr. Plotsz, to Paulo & Rebecca Fonseca saying Groovy, to James and Rowdy running into the Happy Madison crowd, to James’ eyes turning white with blue streaks of lightning coming out of them, to James taking on the wicked then culminating in the moment when Lea Michele reveals herself to be a vampire and zooming into James’ screaming mouth until 0:30 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators shows when James right hand comes out of the dark holding a sonic screwdriver then cuts over to a slab of titanium where lasers cut out “The Last Of The Americans” until 0:36 mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run when James lands on top of the slab while doing a heroic pose with Paulo Fonseca, John & Mike Santos and The Rowdy Reviewer on his right and Rebecca Fonseca, Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke on his left doing their own heroic poses on a black background the 0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it before cutting to the front door of the office)

TLOTA (Audio as he zooms past the Camera): HO BOY! HO BOY! HO JOY! (Cut to James tossing his backpack off his shoulder and over the couch)

TLOTA (excited beyond reproach and looking like he did in the 1990’s): YES! YES! YES! DON’T LET IT START YET! DON’T LET IT START YET! DON’T LET IT START YET!

Rebecca (Audio): James, Just so you are aware you are Uno Loco Bastarda! (Cut to Paulo & Rebecca Fonseca, John & Mike Santos, Renee Miller and Eric Kurtzke standing at the front door looking like they did in the 1990’s)

Rebecca: We look freaking ridiculous!

Eric: I never wore clothes like this, it is totally illogical for me to dress like this!

Renee: Yeah James, I will do certain things for you but looking this freaking ridiculous is where I draw the line!

John Santos: I don’t know, I kind of like this!

Mike Santos: You would!

Paulo: Besides even I think this stuff is stupid. (Cut to James on the couch sliding over to his right)

TLOTA: You guys don’t understand it is all part of the experience. We all act like we got home, Put our belongings down, grab a bite to eat and get ready to relax in front of the TV.

(Rowdy, wearing a t-shirt that says “Ballpark in Arlington’s First Opening Day: April 11, 1994,” pops in on to the couch from out of nowhere via Jeannie blink)

Rowdy: OK, I’m here. What’s this about “Nostalgia Block Party – Bring your 90s cred?”

TLOTA: What, you thought I was going to leave you out of this, C’mon it’ll be fun!

Rowdy: What will be fun?

TLOTA: Fox Kids!

Rowdy: Seriously? You dragged me from The Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington area of Texas for that? Okay, I’ll join ya.

TLOTA: Cool! (Cut to everyone else)

Renee Miller: Uh The Real question is….

Eric Kurtzke, Renee Miller, John & Mike Santos: How did he get here? (Cut to James and Rowdy on the couch)

Rowdy: Jeannie Express! (Cut to Renee, Eric, John and Mike having inquisitive looks on their faces as Paulo and Rebecca are slightly frustrated.)

Paulo: The dork has got A GENIE!

Rebecca: And he only uses her to save money on travel expenses.

Rowdy: And to miniaturize people who question my motives. (Glares threateningly at Paulo & Rebecca before cutting to everyone else)

Paulo and Rebecca Fonseca: We’ll stop talking now. (Cut to James and Rowdy on the couch)

Rowdy: Good!

TLOTA: But you know what? Something feels off. Hey The 1990’s Kid! You mind giving my associate a 1990’s overhaul (Cut to The 1990’s Kid played by Rebecca’s Fiancé Nick.)

The 1990’s Kid: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE IT’D BE MY PLEASURE! I DID THE BANG UP JOB ON EVERYONE ELSE ESPECIALLY REBECCA AND NOW SHE’S SO HOT I’D TOTALLY BANG HER LIKE A DRUM…! (Cut to an hour later with James and everyone on the couch in the lobby.)

TLOTA: What I think everyone here has forgotten is that like “The Disney Afternoon”, “Fox Kids” was a warm welcome after both a hard and a good day at School and a perfect wakeup call on Saturday Mornings for those who weren’t into what ABC, CBS & NBC had to offer. So if everyone is done cleaning up the mess from Rebecca’s sudden desire to beat the cousin of the actual ‘90’s kid into hamburger.

Rebecca: I’m going to be married, I don’t think men should be looking at me as if they have a chance.

Everyone else except TLOTA & Rebecca: We’re good!

TLOTA: Let’s get started. (Cut to opening credit to the “Fox Kids” intro, then to James air conducting the music before cutting back to the intro of “Fox Kids” and then clips of “Fox Kids” shows with James and Rowdy doing voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voice over): In 1990 the same year “The Disney Afternoon” got into full swing The Fox Network decided to get in on board by making their own kid friendly daytime and Saturday Morning line-up with original programming. Some of what they had to offer was amazing, some not so much.

Rowdy (Voice over): And as I have said in the past by the time “The Disney Afternoon” in 1990, the renaissance in Animation was in full swing and I’m hoping what some of what Fox Kids has to offer is good. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

TLOTA: Well I think you might like one of the first offerings “Fox Kids” had to offer with “Bobby’s World” (Cut to the opening credit of “Bobby’s World” then cut to clips of “Bobby’s World” with Rowdy and James doing voiceovers)

Rowdy(Voice over): It should be stated that “Film Roman” who also was producing “Garfield and Friends” at the time worked with Howie Mandel and his character Bobby from his stand-up routine to make this series happen and is it me or is Uncle Ted reminiscent of someone. (Show clips of Uncle Ted before James does his voice over)

TLOTA (voice over): Well he does sound like John Candy but I don’t think Tino Insana the voice actor for Uncle Ted had John Candy on the brain when he came up with Uncle Ted and you cannot tell me that the fantasy sequences Bobby had weren’t the same as most of us when we were Bobby’s age. (Show clips of Bobby’s fantasies before cutting to James and everyone on the couch taking a deep breath and going Yeah or saying yes in one way or another before cutting back to clips of the show with Rowdy and James doing voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voice over): Needless to say I can see why it is remembered as fondly as it is.

TLOTA (Voice over): But another show that was on around the same time as less as remembered though it shouldn’t be. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

Rebecca: Which show was that?

TLOTA: Fox’s Peter Pan & The Pirates (Cut to opening credit of “Fox’s Peter Pan & The Pirates” then cut to clips of the show with Rowdy and James doing voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voice over): What can be said about this series The Nostalgia Critic didn’t say in his “Top Eleven Animated Nostalgic TV Shows” It really was put together well, so well in fact when it came to a pilot episode, everyone said “Pilot Episode, Schmilot Episode” You can tell a lot of effort was put into it, making it closest to the original J.M. Barrie story more so than the Disney movie.

TLOTA (Voice over): It doesn’t hurt that one of the best actors to portray Captain Hook in this series as well. (Show clips of “Peter Pan & The Pirates” of Captain Hook performed by Tim Curry being intercut with audio of “Rocky Horror Picture Show” as his character Frank-N-Furter as well as Daniel “Rooster” Hannigan from the 1980’s version of “Annie”, Wadsworth The Butler from “Clue” saying “Communism was just a Red Herring”, An audio clip of “King” Chicken from “Duckman” giving his backstory, Pennywise from “IT”, Dragaunus from “The Mighty Ducks” and Nigel Thornberry in “The Wild Thornberrys” before James resumes his voice over) That’s right, Tim Curry is Captain Hook in this series and I swear there cannot be anyone who can be as incredibly amazing as Captain Hook. (Show clip of Christopher Walken being Christopher Walken being Captain Hook in NBC’s “Peter Pan Live” before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

Everyone: Oh yeah, forgot about him.

Rowdy: Either way, you still gotta hand it to Curry that this was MUCH better than a certain other villain role he had in the 90s… (Cut to Clip of Kilokahn from “Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad” for five seconds before cutting back to everyone on the couch) Yeah… THAT. (Cut to clips of Peter Pan and the Pirates with Rowdy and James doing voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voice over): Regardless, it goes without saying that this series was awesome and its effort was not wasted!

TLOTA (Voice over): Just like the next series we’re going to talk about! (Cut to opening credits of Tom & Jerry Kids before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

Rowdy: Ho boy, figures I’d have to talk about this series. (Cut to clips of Tom And Jerry Kids with Rowdy and James doing voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): This one has been on my to-review list for a long time! But in all fairness, there has been a reason why I have yet to do this series. There isn’t really much to say about it except that it was Hanna-Barbera’s attempt at making Tom And Jerry seem palatable to a younger audience when all is said and done it wasn’t their best work.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Dude, that was harsh I mean yeah it wasn’t as good as the classic shorts but at least this series tried to re-capture the feel of it and besides we had more than just the shorts featuring Tom with a Baseball cap and Jerry wearing a bowtie because, even back then Bowties were cool. We had plenty of other shorts like from… (Cut to intro in which it plays “Well there’s Spike & Tyke, Droopy and Dripple” before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

TLOTA: Okay Spike & Tyke I knew about, Droopy, I knew about but who’s Dripple? (Cut to clips of Droopy and Dripple and then the other shorts with James and Rowdy doing voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Seriously I had very little idea until I discovered on-line so take this information with a grain of salt that Dripple is in fact Droopy’s son! Yeah, we’re told that he is in fact Droopy’s son in every short they’re in. But despite the lack of serious explanation about certain things I actually found this series a load of laughs and entertaining as all get out.

Rowdy (Voiceover): Well, I’m glad you enjoyed this series but something tells me there had to be, HAD TO BE something better even though Hanna-Barbera was on its last legs. (Cut to intro of “Pirates Of Dark Water.” Then cutting to Ash in “Army Of Darkness” shouting “YEAAH BAAABY!” before cutting to clips of the series with James and Rowdy doing voiceovers.)

TLOTA (voiceover): Is this more to your liking?

Rowdy: Though technically going to ABC after the five part pilot was seen, it still counts as something on “Fox Kids” and yeah it is more to my liking. This was something original and had effort put into the story and the characters like Ren the Prince of this Alien world called Mer, A Monkey Bird hybrid that missed being in “The Wuzzles” by I think a few years named Niddler, a pirate who eventually forms a bond with Ren called Ioz and a bar maiden who happens to be a practitioner of magical arts! (Show clips of Tula using Magic before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

TLOTA: Hey Rebecca can you do anything like that?

Rowdy: How about you Renee?

Renee: Well I placed a hex on Rusev so he’d lose to John Cena at Wrestlemania!

Rebecca: I can make men in metal suits get so hot they can cook popcorn on their chest piece!

Paulo: Rebecca, please I’m right next to you.

Rebecca: And make my brother feel uncomfortable in the process!

TLOTA & Rowdy (In Unison): You not even trying! (Cut to clips of “Pirates Of Dark Water” while Rowdy & James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): Needless to say this show was amazing in all aspects from animation to voice acting to character use.

TLOTA (Voiceover): But surely we need something a little more lighthearted that even we all like. (Cut to opening credits of “Tiny Toon Adventures” then clips of the show while Rowdy & James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): NOW WE’RE TALKING! THIS is what “Tom & Jerry Kids” should’ve been like. “Tiny Toon Adventures!” The show that STARTED Warner’s run of amazing animated shows in the 90s! With the backing of Steven Spielberg himself, Warner Brothers Animation Studios took the classic Looney Tunes characters teaching cartoon lessons to younger modern versions of themselves like Babs & Buster Bunny(No Relation),  Plucky Duck, Hamton Pig, Furball & Sweetie,  Gogo Dodo, Calamity Coyote & Little Beeper, Byron Basset, Bookworm, Li’l Sneezer, Concord Condor, Dizzy Devil even Montana Max and probably the most disliked animated character of all time Elmyra Duff seems to be likable in this series. When there was were single focused episodes you could tell they were good. When they did short cartoons with a wraparound narrative or just shorts that didn’t need that were funny as all get out! THIS is how you re-package the Looney Tunes characters for the next generation. Unlike some OTHER shows that need not be mentioned... (Cut to promotional photo of Loonatics Unleashed before cutting back to clips of Tiny Toon Adventures)

TLOTA (Voiceover): No disagreements here. I absolutely love the effort used on this series and the fact it won seven Daytime Emmys is nothing to sneeze at and the fact the people who worked were seasoned veterans that had a lot of great ideas that really felt genuine to both the kids who love the new characters and to the adults who enjoyed the Looney Tunes and somewhere in the middle everyone enjoyed a lot of what this show had to offer as did the show that succeeded it. (Cut to opening credits of “Animaniacs” then cut to the scene of “Avatar: The Last Airbender” with that cheering crowd and the one screaming for so long he foams at the mouth before cutting to clips of “Animaniacs” while Rowdy & James do voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): There is a reason why “Animaniacs” is near the top of the Nostalgia Critic’s list of Top Animated Nostalgic series and it is easy to know why. Great animation, great writing, great music and of course it takes the cake when it comes to the voice actors.

Rowdy (Voiceover): Then of course there was the characters from the show. As I said in my “Pinky, Elmyra and The Brain” review what was funny about those shorts was of course when either Pinky or The Brain do something to self-sabotage their plans of world domination.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Then there’s Slappy Squirrel after watching her shorts especially “Critical Condition” it’s no wonder she made your top ten TV snarks.

Rowdy (Voiceover): But I’m sure you liked these birds! (Show clips of “The Goodfeathers” shorts before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

TLOTA: What are ya saying? Are you saying because I’m an Italian that I’d automatically like the imitations of Joe Pesci, Ray Liotta and Robert DeNiro? That you think that I as a New Yorker would be like these characters even though we’re nowhere NEAR New York City and the Five Burroughs, IS That what you were saying?

Rowdy: No! No! I’m not saying that, I’m saying you might’ve liked it because you’re nothing like them and to you they’d be the type of characters you’d laugh at.

TLOTA: I am nothing like “The Goodfeathers”. Oh, Okay, I got it now. (Cut to clips of Animaniacs while Rowdy does a voiceover.)

Rowdy (Voiceover): All we can add to what the Nostalgia Critic has said is that with all the shows it’s a classic that can never be duplicated at all. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

John Santos: Well, just so you’re all aware I know who the Nostalgia Critic is and I never saw that “Animated Nostalgic shows” and I have to ask what topped it?

TLOTA: Well John I’m glad you asked because it just so happens to be the first DC Comic Book properties made amazingly awesome. (Cut to end of the 1990’s Batman Animated series opening credits then to clips of “Batman The Animated Series” while Rowdy and James do voiceovers.)

Rowdy (Voiceover): NOW we’re really getting into the great material that made Fox Kids amazing. “Batman The Animated Series” under the direction of Bruce Timm & Paul Dini took advantage of the Popularity of the Tim Burton movies featuring The Dark Knight and used it to create great episodes that felt like it came from the source material.

TLOTA (Voiceover): I agree and to say they made Batman and his gallery of Rogues interesting in probably the understatement of the century. I mean they took the backstories of some of the goofier villains like Mr. Freeze and turned them into Greek Tragedies and those led to amazing stories like with the two part “Two-Face” episode before then we saw Harvey Dent the D.A. and how he was a good guy but when the two parter that made Harvey Dent into Two-Face that moment where he added what happened to him and his parents still one of the most gut wrenching moments in the show’s history. And it goes without saying that this moment still resonates with Batman shouts this out. (Show clip of Batman saying “I AM Vengeance! I AM THE KNIGHT! I…AM…BATMAN!” before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

TLOTA (With a lowered resonance in his voice): Yowza! Hey did everyone hear me say “Yowza!”?

Rowdy (With a lowered resonance in his voice): I think we all sound like you now after hearing that. (Everyone else speaks with a lowered resonance in their voices all say either “Yep” or “Oh Yeah” or “Absolutely” before cutting back to clips of “Batman The Animated series” with Rowdy and James sounding normally and doing voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): It goes without saying that this was one of the highlights in the renaissance of animation.

TLOTA (Voiceover): But that’s nothing because even though this series was one of DC’s highlights of the 1990’s that didn’t mean the next series in this programming block which was DC’s competition comic book wise didn’t mean what they had to offer had to be considered second class. (Cut to the opening credits of X-MEN The animated series then to clips of X-MEN while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): X-MEN was definitely dark and gritty as Batman The Animated Series but it also had its “Fred Wolf” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles moments. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

Rowdy: “Fred Wolf” Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles moments?

TLOTA: Well, take a look at all the moments featuring Jubilee. (Cut to clips of Jubilee being Jubilee before cutting back to everyone on the couch going oh yeah and agreeing with what James said before cutting to the clips of X-MEN while Rowdy & James do voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): What was particularly great was its soap operatic feel especially with the sagas it would have. I still cry at the end of both The Phoenix Saga and The Dark Phoenix Saga. Plus the episodes that could’ve been considered filler were as amazing as they were great social allegories like with the episode “Beauty and The Beast” in which Beast played by George Buza was able to cure a woman’s blindness and yet while she could see the gentle soul inside of him, Her dad didn’t like the fact that he’s a mutant but when a group of Anti-Mutant Human racists kidnap the girl it’s up to Wolverine played by Cathal J. Dodd who I think is the better Wolverine even better than Hugh Jackman or Steve Blum in my opinion to discover A) The leader of the Anti-Mutant Human Racist Group is in fact the son of a mutant and B) Stop an impassioned Beast from going into them and going to turn them into Anti-Mutant Human Shish-ka-Bobs for hurting the girl.

Rowdy (Voiceover): And Holy Moly was the animation great. Not just in the beginning of the show’s run, it actually looks better as the series progresses and when I check out an episode now a days I find myself whenever I feel like watching an episode I see how it looks better than the series that came after this X-Men Series but I think I’ll hold off on reviewing that series for my own show.

TLOTA (Voiceover): But wait Marvel wasn’t done yet as they were able to mix traditional 2-D Animation with Computer Generated animation semi-flawlessly in their next series. (Cut to opening credits of “Spider-Man” 1990’s series before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

Eric Kurtzke: Wait, I thought you didn’t like Spider-Man.

TLOTA: Well, this was before the Sam Raimi movies and all the bad decisions that made me turn against the Web-Head. (Cut to clips of the 1990’s Spider-Man series while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): This was when Spidey was semi responsible and he knew it and reminded himself of it constantly and the villains were the reminder of his mistakes, plus this was the first time that every villain was a legitimate threat plus The way they Introduced The Kingpin was amazing. I had heard about him but then came Roscoe Lee Browne’s voice. (Cut to clips of Kingpin being menacing before Rowdy does his voiceover)

Rowdy (Voiceover): But lest we forget about the sagas. From The Alien Costume three parter, The Neogenic Nightmare saga, The Sins Of The Father saga, The Partners In Danger Saga, The Six Forgotten Warriors Saga and finally The Secret Wars/Spider Wars sagas all of them were interconnected and all of them did everything in their power to make the series as soap operatic as X-MEN was especially when all the episodes of both shows were directed by the same guy.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Oh wow didn’t know that about both series but what else they had somewhat in common was Ron Wasserman as the composer even though Joe Perry from Aerosmith did the opening theme to the Spider-Man series but guess what else Ron Wasserman worked on. (Cut to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers intro before cutting to Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania 30 and a full arena of people saying “YES! YES! YES!” before cutting to Rowdy and James doing voiceovers over clips of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.)

Rowdy (Voiceover): You didn’t think we would forget this series now would ya? Now the most common negative criticism is that it is “Saved By The Bell” meets Godzilla. But tell me this. Did “Saved By The Bell” have Mr. Belding and the gang take on Tokusatsu Monsters? Or Did Godzilla have interesting human characters? HELL NO! Mighty Morphin Power Rangers broke the mold when it came to live action kids shows and we all can’t forget (Show images of Kimberly being Kimberly with “Dreamweaver” by Gary Wright in the background before cutting to James walking off the couch as everyone else is looking at Rowdy with an inquisitive look on their face as James comes back with a bucket of ICE COLD Water and dumps it on Rowdy causing him to try to pummel James before cutting to a black screen with the words “One Hour Later” for one second before cutting to everyone is on the couch and James has minor marks and Rowdy has a lump the size of James palm on his forehead and the two apologizing for the actions both did to each other before James does his voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Well there is a reason Power Rangers is generally seen as what made Fox Kids different from most of what was being seen and the fact that people still talk about it to this day means that it has done something truly morphinominal! (Cut to the end of the opening credit before cutting to everyone on the couch.)

TLOTA: Of course Rowdy since we opened up the can of worms let’s do some fishing and address the Thirty ton Rhino in the room. (James pulls out The Megaforce Morpher, pulling out the card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans on it de-morphing James back to normal)

James Faraci: We have seen the short film “Power/Rangers” and to be blunt, there was a lot to like but I found more to dislike. I disliked the fact it did go so dark and basically bastardize the characters I knew and loved. Making things worse is when the Director had to clarify that the movie was a parody. To me a parody makes fun of the original source material while at the same time honors it as humorously as possible. Watching Zack the Black Ranger get wired on Cocaine and having a Ménage A Trois with Scorpina & Divatox then taking on North Korea just was about as funny as my Cardiac Arrhythmia catheter correction surgery. The ONLY dignified thing they did was acknowledge that what happened to Trini was that she died as a dignified homage to actress Thuy Trang’s untimely demise. Otherwise bad parody is never good to watch at all. Chris, you got anything to say.

Rowdy: What? We’re doing this out of character or something? (James nods his head saying yes) Okay (Rowdy Takes off his hat and glasses)

Chris Lee Moore: Meh, the guy who tried really tried to do something stupid, and I don’t let it bother me because I knew that would never get made into a mainstream movie. I say it’s not really worth our time. Save the rage for those that are REALLY fracking up our childhood in the mainstream – like Michael Bay and David Goyer, basically Linkara said it best in his “History Of Power Rangers” episode on “Power Rangers: RPM” If you like it, good for you. If not I won’t hold it against you.

James Faraci: Cool, I’m glad you’re able to be honest about it. Now that we’ve said our peace about that thing. Let us never talk about that movie again. (James pulls out Megaforce Morpher and the card designed by Stevie Swigart with the statistics of James Faraci The Last Of The Americans while putting it into the Megaforce Morpher morphing James back to The Last Of The Americans like he did in the 1990’s & Rowdy puts his hat back on and puts on his glasses.)

TLOTA: Having said all that, let’s move on to something more lighthearted from that blood sucker to “The Tick”. (Cut to opening credit of “The Tick” animated series before cutting everyone on the couch)

Paulo: Oh man this show was great!

John & Mike Santos: SPOOOOOOOON!

Eric Kurtzke: Okay!

Renee: DAMN, You got some good taste!

Rebecca: Does anyone really care about this series?

Rowdy: I saw a few episodes of this in order to understand the live action version of this thing for TV Trash so I’ve got nothing to say.

TLOTA: Well Thankfully I do! (Cut to clips of “The Tick” animated series while James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): This show is just a great send-up of all the tropes of the Comic Book industry and how the Superheroes were being seen in the industry and there was a goofiness to it that played it to the hilt. Imagine Kick-Ass without the insane violence, swearing and Nicolas Cage. Which I may review later on this year. But the point is “The Tick” is one of the funniest cartoons I’ve seen ever known exists. (Cut to Everyone on the Couch)

Rowdy: Well at least this is the last time we dip into series I’ve already reviewed and or mentioned…. Right?

TLOTA: Well…. (Cut to opening of Masked Rider before cutting back to everyone on the couch as Rowdy screams in agony)

TLOTA: Hey, Hey, Hey take it easy, take it easy we’ll be brief about it!

Rowdy: Oh okay then I’ll take this on one more time. (Cut to clips of “Masked Rider” while Rowdy and James do voiceovers.)

Rowdy (Voiceover): Because I already talked about this, there isn’t much for me to say except for me to say “Check out my review of “Masked Rider” on TV Trash.”

TLOTA (Voiceover): And I agree with MOST of what you said in that review and the fact that the actors, writers, producers and directors and everyone involved in the series has pretty much decided not put it on top of their resumes and most involved have pretty much left Hollywood for normal lives. Means that this series was really not that greatly remembered. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

Rowdy: Well, that is good news and hopefully the next series you have in line is better than Masked Rider.

TLOTA: Well how about the animated backstory behind the comedian that first hosted the revival of “Family Feud”. (Cut to the opening credit of “Life With Louie” while Rowdy & James do voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): “Life with Louie” based on the comedy of Louie Anderson was about his life as a kid in Minnesota and to be honest I could relate to this series in a way especially with how unlucky Louie was when he was a kid and how his family could drive the Pope to Alcoholism.

Rowdy (Voiceover): To me I saw this and thought to myself how could be jokes about Suburban life in Minnesota be entertaining and then I remember that the aforementioned Linkara lives in Minnesota and he has a freaking Spaceship so by contrast “Life with Louie” would’ve been entertaining but to me it’s just not for me. I would’ve rather read a “Goosebumps” book than listened to Louie Anderson portray most of the characters.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Well seeing as how you just mentioned “Goosebumps”.

Rowdy (Voiceover): You didn’t (Show opening credits of Goosebumps then cut to everyone on the couch)

Rowdy: You did?

TLOTA: Yep.

Rowdy: Cool! (Cut to clips of “Goosebumps” while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): Based on the R. L. Stine line of books, the series was loosely trying to be like “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” except for the fact that the stories I read were more scary then the episodes they based them on.

TLOTA (Voiceover): But I do give the producers of this series for putting effort into making the episodes as creative as they could be given the content. Remember the books and the series was meant to be kid friendly as possible as well as creepy as all get out. Don’t believe us, check out C.R.’s lists on “Goosebumps”. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

Paulo: But surely they had more than that?

TLOTA: Absolutely. Enter Big Bad Beetleborgs. (Cut to opening of “Big Bad Beetleborgs” then cut to clips of the show as Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): I talked about this briefly in my review of “Masked Rider” and I had said that the adaptation of the Tokusatsu series Juukou B-Fighter for its first season and B-Fighter Kabuto for the second season when they re-named the series to “Beetleborgs Metallix” was meant to be goofy and lighthearted in its execution and there was an energy about it that kept the show lively.

TLOTA (Voiceover): And you can tell that there was effort put into making the action very interesting but they really seemed to want to split the focus between the action and what was going on at the mansion which had four of the classic Universal characters but they couldn’t use the actual names of those Universal characters so we have them named FrankenBeans (Rowdy falsely laughs with a Ha! Ha!), Mums, Wolfgang “Wolfie” Smith (Rowdy falsely laughs with a Ha! Ha!), and Count Fangula (Rowdy falsely laughs with a Ha! Ha! Then an audible thwack and OW is heard before James continues his voiceover) Then we have Flabber! Who looked like the offspring of Elvis and Ronald McDonald, acted like Jamie Kennedy in “Son Of The Mask” when he was “The Mask” and gave the kids powers to be the Beetleborgs. But you don’t have to take my word for it, you can listen to the opening credits of the first season to get the plot of how things came to be. (Cut to the opening credits as it gives the exposition of the series before James continues his voiceover) So good you don’t need to see the pilot but it doesn’t hurt but for all of my ragging on this thing. I actually liked this series for the fact it felt like Power Rangers lite but in a good way. The characters were interesting, the battles were amazing even though they used way too many Adam West Batman style onomatopoeias for its own good and there was good stories enough to make me remember Beetleborgs fondly. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

TLOTA: However most of the series put on the Fox Kids Programming Block are a crapshoot after this.

Everyone else on the couch: Really?

TLOTA: Really, Really.  But we’ll deal with them after the break. But now, let’s do what we did during commercial breaks. Me I am going to do my homework.

Rowdy: You did your homework.

TLOTA: Yep, That’s my life. Work during the breaks and relax while working.

Rowdy: Well, I’m going to enjoy my snack.

TLOTA: You held on to that box of Cap’n Crunch since the 1990’s?

Rowdy: Nah, I raided the pantry.

Paulo: Well I’m gonna join James in the “Getting Homework Done” gang.

Rebecca: We haven’t had homework in a long time. But I’m gonna get us all a bite to eat as well.

Renee: Well I’m gonna check out the latest on WWE.

Rowdy: Try The Wrestling Mark. His News is always on the money.

John Santos: I’ll try that out too.

Mike Santos: You’re a dork

John Santos: And Proud of it too!

Eric Kurtzke: Well I’m gonna see what’s gonna happen to in the next “Star Trek” movie.

Rowdy: You’re a Trekkie?

Eric Kurtzke: Yeah and while James was cleaning up the mess, I decided it’d be logical to research you and I want to say on behalf of all Trekkies, I’m sorry you had to deal with “Turnabout Intruder” & “Spock’s Brain”

Rowdy: Thanks dude.

(0:36-end mark from the theme from the final season of American Gladiators original run play the camera moves back to see James on top of the slab with the words “The Last Of The Americans” on it act as the commercial break intro and return act to the review as scene begins with everyone on the couch)

Paulo: So what you’re saying is that after “Big Bad Beetleborgs”, what “Fox Kids” was showing was either hit or miss.

TLOTA: Pretty Much just take a look at “Godzilla The Series” (Show opening of “Godzilla The Series” before cutting to clips of the show while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): I talked about the classic Hanna-Barbera series once on “TV Trash” and when I did, people were hoping I would talk about this series as well and I can see why the fact that this series is based on the abomination of a movie made in the same year would’ve been a great episode of “TV Trash” on its own.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Well the fact the people behind the 1998 movie have pretty much said how bad their movie was and has denounced it. Plus in the forty episodes of this series it has Godzilla taking on Monsters possibly made by the fallout that created Godzilla and the fact they made effort in keeping in cannon to the movie makes it slightly better than The Hanna-Barbera series. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

TLOTA: But The Hanna Barbera series has a nostalgic factor to it that makes it enjoyable. Unlike Ninja Turtles Abomination.

Rowdy: Not again!

TLOTA: Hey just relax, I’ll do the majority of talking about it. You don’t need to worry about saying a syllable about it.

Renee: Why is that?

TLOTA: Because Renee, the only thing worse to bear the title of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is the godawful abomination produced by Michael Bay and Directed by Johnathan Liebesman which is so awful I will NEVER EVER REVIEW IT! NOT EVEN FOR ALL THE GOLD IN FORT KNOX AND ALL THE TEA IN CHINA!

Paulo: While you were scaring both Rowdy and Renee I did some research on what you’re talking about and the only thing that is mentioned when I cross-referenced The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Fox Kids is Ninja Turtles…

TLOTA: HO BOY!

Paulo: The Next…..

TLOTA: HERE WE GO!

Paulo: Mutation? (Rowdy turns his head to Paulo with a demented smile on his face as everyone save for James looks scared as James has his right hand with defeat on his face as the “Ninja Turtles The Next Mutation” theme song plays then quickly cuts to the title card of the show before cutting back to everyone trying to hold Rowdy (who has one arm free and is swinging away with his baseball bat) back and Paulo has a Garbage Can Lid to shield him from Rowdy!)

TLOTA: AS YOU’RE ALL WELL AWARE MY ASSOCIATE AND FRIEND WHO IS TRYING TO PUMMEL A FRIEND AND SOMEONE I WORK WITH INTO HAMBURGER HAS ALREADY TALKED ABOUT THIS SERIES TWICE. ONCE ON “TV TRASH” AND THE OTHER TIME ON HIS NINJA TURTLES RETROSPECTIVE SO THERE’S REALLY NO REASON FOR HIM TO TALK ABOUT THIS SERIES SO I’LL DO THE MAJORITY OF TALKING ABOUT IT! GOOSFRABA! GOOSFRABA! GOOSFRABA! (Cut to clips of Ninja Turtles Next Mutation as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): And to be honest, I’ve got nothing to say that my associate hasn’t already said. This is probably the one of the worst things to have be associated with The Ninja Turtles outside of the 2014 movie even the crossover with the Power Rangers of that season wasn’t good. This wasn’t even worthy even being made but it was made and it butt hurt the Turtles so bad that had it not been for the 4Kids series that came out nearly a decade after this. It would’ve been possibly the series that killed The Ninja Turtles for good but thankfully the people behind it did something FAR more superior! (Cut to title card to “Mystic Knights Of Tir Na Nog” before cutting to everyone having calmed down and looking with a surprised look on their faces before cutting to clips of the show while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): HOLY TOLEDO! WHY DID I MISS THIS? Look at the effort, the tales taken from Celtic Lore and believe it or not made into its own Sentai. That’s right, this was all original footage shot on location in Ireland. This was the effort that should’ve been in “Abomination”!

TLOTA (Voiceover): Well you said it yourself in your Ninja Turtles Retrospective as Saban felt the Turtles had a built-in audience. The Mystic Knights didn’t and it suffered which is a real shame because a lot of everything about it was great ESPECIALLY the story, especially the characters and especially the care to the source of the characters. But it didn’t help that it was sandwiched with this (Cut to title of “Young Hercules” before cutting to clips of the show as James does a voice over)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Considered a poor version of a prequel series to the Kevin Sorbo series. “Young Hercules” told the tale of Hercules played by Ryan Gosling as he is trained to harness his powers while befriending Iolaus and Jason of Corinth at an academy run by Chiron a centaur played by Nathaniel Lees and the half hour adventures they could fit in and it wasn’t bad and all but it was a bad idea for them not to renew this series and Mystic Knights instead of giving us (Cut to “Spider-Man Unlimited” title card before cutting to clips of the show while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): Oh come on James, You knew this was on my “To Review One Day” List for TV Trash. But since I am here, yes I will admit that this show was doomed from start to finish. Why? Because it was poorly conceived from The Pilot episode to the half-finished finale.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Well to be honest no one knew whether or not this series was a continuation of the “Spider-Man” series that had ended not long before this series began or a new series that took place in another universe but that’s nothing compared to what Marvel had in store for one of its final series for Fox Kids. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

John Santos: Are you talking about “Avengers: United They Stand”?

TLOTA: Dude that series is so bad even Rowdy won’t review it!

Rowdy: That’s right but this series is just right.

TLOTA: That of course being “Silver Surfer”. (Cut to title card of “Silver Surfer before cutting to clips of the show while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): While the N.E.S. game was hard as all get out to play that even The Angry Video Game Nerd had a hard time playing.

TLOTA (Voiceover): Understating the obvious on that one.

Rowdy (Voiceover): Shut up! Silver Surfer the animated series was a gamble that didn’t work but that doesn’t mean it was bad.

TLOTA (Voiceover): And I agree with you. The Animation blended Cell shaded animation with Computer rendered animation. The character of Silver Surfer was a Greek tragedy. Sacrificing his past as Norrin Radd became the herald of Galactus and the adventures The Silver Surfer has slowly becoming a hero and not just a servant of a god and I wish everyone gave it a half a chance but not everything can pan out. Such as the next series… (Cut to opening credits of “Los Luchadores” then to clips of Los Luchadores with Rowdy doing a voiceover)

Rowdy (Voiceover): Yeah, kind of a weird series but in all honesty it makes sense. Los Luchadores follows the tale of Masked Wrestlers Lobo Fuerte, Turbine & Maria Valentine fight their fellow Luchadores in the ring and take on villains that even Adam West’s Batman and (Shutters) Electra Elf and Fluffer would consider lame. (Cut to everyone on the couch.)

TLOTA: We saw the review THAT is about as much of “Electra Elf & Fluffer” we EVER want to see of that series! But as far as Los Luchadores is concerned I’m willing to wager Dollars to Doughnuts even Hardcore WWE fans would love this series. (The Wrestling Mark pops in via Genie blink)

The Wrestling Mark: I’ll take that wager.

Rowdy: Wrestling Mark?! What the….? (Everyone else save for James is shocked to see that The Wrestling Mark looks like Rowdy.)

TLOTA: I take it Jeannie brought you here.

The Wrestling Mark: You bet and I come bearing a message from your mom Rowdy. She said “Finish up with your friend soon or else she’s gonna come and drag you home!” Now with that bit of business done and over with, James give me Los Luchadores.

TLOTA: Sure thing dude. (The Wrestling Mark takes the DVD of “Los Luchadores” and walks off screen to the right before cutting to clips of the show as James does a voiceover)

TLOTA (Voiceover): Regardless “Los Luchadores” was fun, original for the most part and incredibly entertaining which is more than I can say for the last series I want to talk about in this review of this programming block. (Cut to everyone save for James & Rowdy still in shock on the couch.)

Rowdy: Well what’s wrong with the last series?

TLOTA: Well, it’s not a bad series, it’s just what happens when “Fox Kids” tried to play “Keeping up with the Joneses” with Digimon! (Cut to opening title card of “Digimon” then to clips of “Digimon” as Rowdy & James do voiceovers)

TLOTA (Voiceover): If you saw The Nostalgia Critic and JesuOtaku’s crossover on Digimon The Movie, I can understand why everyone would dislike the series. But for me this wasn’t a poor man’s Pokemon. It was Fox Kids’ desperate attempt to say “Hey Look at us! We’re still cool! We’re still relevant! We’ve got monsters fighting one another! We’re still cool” and that hurt not only a pretty good show it in essence killed “Fox Kids”.

Rowdy (Voiceover): Actually what happened was a mercy killing as Disney purchased all the programming of “Fox Kids” and Saban Entertainment. But like you I don’t blame or hate Digimon. It had good stories, decent characters and for a dubbed Anime it was well developed and produced and yes I agree with you about how things went down behind the scenes and what killed “Fox Kids”. (Cut to everyone on the couch)

Paulo: Well that’s a shame about how things went for “Fox Kids”.

Rebecca: Do you guys think we’ll ever see a revival?

Renee: Maybe if they did it like a Network like Nickelodeon.

Eric: Maybe an app or a streaming network on line.

Mike Santos: Maybe their own spot on “Netflix”

John Santos: Or We can leave well enough alone and remember what “Fox Kids” were about.

Rowdy: I agree with John on this!  (Cut to clips of “Fox Kids” Programming while Rowdy and James do voiceovers)

Rowdy (Voiceover): Because there was a lot of great shows, a lot of decent ones and quite a few stinkers some I’ve reviewed already but regardless “Fox Kids” was awesome as it was able to last a little longer than “The Disney Afternoon” because not only did they play the game their own way, they did it with enthusiasm.

TLOTA (Voiceover): And I can’t disagree with you because we still remember these shows to this day. The fact most of these series are available on Streaming Services and DVD releases make it easier to remember all that was truly amazing about “Fox Kids” and the shows that showed because Fox Kids are what? (Cut to the end of an opening of an episode with all the characters in the ad shouting “Fox Kids Is Cool” before cutting to everyone on the couch)

TLOTA: Well guys “Fox Kids” is over, now what? (Rowdy’s mom pops in via Genie Blink)

Rowdy’s Mom: CHRISTOPHER LEE MOORE, YOU GET HOME RIGHT NOW!

Rowdy: But Mom!

Rowdy’s Mom: No buts, you’ve got homework and chores to take care of and you’ve got your own series to get back to. (Rowdy’s mom grabs Rowdy by his ear and drags him out before they pop out via Genie Blink and Everyone save for James chuckles and Paulo says tauntingly “Rowdy got yelled by his mommy! Rowdy got yelled by his mommy! Rowdy got yelled by his mommy!” and proceeds to chuckle as Paulo and Rebecca’s mom comes in and says in Spanish “Paulo and Rebecca Fonseca, you’ve got to get going too!” with subtitles in English underneath. Paulo replies in Spanish and subtitled in English “But Mom!” and Paulo and Rebecca’s mom replies in Spanish and subtitled in English. “It’ll be your butts if you don’t get moving” and James walks them out the door and tells everyone else to get going as well as James gets back onto his couch to take a sigh of relief when HIS mom comes in.)

James’ Mom: JAMES BENJAMIN FARACI, YOU GET HOME RIGHT NOW! THERE ARE CHORES THAT HAVE TO BE DONE, YOU’VE GOT DINNER TO MAKE AND YOU STILL HAVE TO GET A SHEET ON YOUR BED! (James’ mom grabs James by the seat of his pants and drags him home as James shouts “Can I finish this please?” As James pulls his upper half into frame)

TLOTA: I’m James Faraci The Last Of The Americans and that’s my opinion! (James is getting dragged and is screaming Ow! All the way before The Wrestling Mark comes in on the right.)

The Wrestling Mark: Hey James this would be good if WWE had co-produced this series and… (Looks around to see no one is there.) Where did everyone go?!