Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Day Of The Hero Part 2

(Scene starts inside a war room where a mighty leader of all the armies of Caliverti look at all the reports.)

General Alonzo: How many casualties have there been so far this day.

Soldier: Close to a thousand casualties so far and over half a million have paid the price to protect Caliverti. But that's not the worse news. HE has taken The Apocalator!

General Alonzo: I've heard of this "Apocalator" it was based on a device made a century ago called the Ragnarokor by a madman known as Tharagan but someone refined it to the point it had obtained a conscience and a morality. (Scene changes to a field of grass as Hero walks through there)

General Alonzo (Audio only): Whoever has that weapon is going to have to deal with what is inside of it and themselves. (Hero continues to walk through the field of grass)

Hero (Audio only): Citizens of Caliverti, Invading Vikings from afar, I say this to all involved in this pointless shed of blood, I end this not in anger or fear. But with knowledge that what I do is not for the greater good but because there is no other option. It ends today, NO MORE! (Hero finds an abandoned farm house and walks in revealing "The Apocalator" when a knock is heard and Hero walks over to the door and turns to see "Ma-Ti" on top of The Apocalator.)

Hero: Hey get off of that! It's a weapon not a piece of furniture. (Hero grabs "Ma-Ti" and throws him out. Camera cuts to see "Ma-Ti" back on The Apocalator and Hero screams in surprise) What are you doing here? (The Apocalator hums and Hero once again throws "Ma-Ti" out again and prepares to activate it.) OW! The interface is hot!

Conscience: Well, I don't consider myself that. (Hero looks at "Ma-Ti" on the stack of crates.)

Hero: Who are you?

Conscience: Didn't you know?  The Apocalator had a conscience. Hi!

Hero: You're the conscience of this thing? Didn't expect you to look like...

Conscience: Like the way I do? It's from the memory of someone you knew in the past or from someone you'll know in the future.

Hero: I have no future.

Conscience:  Maaaaa Teeeee! No wait that body had been reduced to ashes and put into an oatmeal can AND had merged with..... THE PLOT HOLE! (Conscience's eye glow blue and voice has an echo) Tell me Hero are you afraid to look into the hole?

Hero: Don't call me that. (An explosion happens and a hole opens behind them) WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD & HOLY HAVE YOU DONE?

Conscience: It is a tear in the world & on the other side are people who you've inspired and people who fear you for what you're about to do! (An object comes out and it is a Fez!) Okay, I wasn't expecting a Fez. (Scene cuts to a gigantic room underground where everyone is seeing a whole lot of unique artwork.)

TLOTA: Wow, so these pieces of art are stored here for what purpose...(James looks and sees a Fez)

President Baugh: Well we stored the Mary Queen of Scots collection for the sole purpose to find the link between the piece you saw in my humble abode and as soon as everything is straightened out. I plan on donating the pieces to a national museum from your country. (Notices James about to break into the case and grab the Fez.) Uh young man, I have no idea why you are going to that thing, I have yet discover if it's safe.

TLOTA: It's a hat called a Fez & Fezzes are cool! May I?

President Baugh: If you insist. (James grabs the Fez out of the case and places it on James' head and everyone just scoff as they all walk away.)

Lea Michele: Seriously James, Are you EVER not going to grab a Fez?

TLOTA: Not in this lifetime.

President Baugh (Audio only): If you would please pay attention,I keep this one as the gateway to the artworks I intent to keep here in Molossia. (Scene cuts to 8-Bit Mickey looking at the picture.)

8-Bit Mickey: Hey guys look at who's next to Mary. (Everyone looks at the picture.)

Nash: NO WAY!

Film Brain: Come on! NOT IN A BILLION YEARS WOULD I BELIEVE IT!

Nostalgia Critic: FUCK ME!

TLOTA: Who is it? (James looks in shock.) No, NO! NO! NOT THAT PERVERT! (Camera pans from the painted image of Mary Queen Of Scots to reveal her husband to be Spoony as scene fade cuts to Scotland and a credit of Scotland 1560 as Spoony rides with Mary Queen Of Scots on horseback with the outside of the "Exit Strategy" in the background.)

Mary Queen Of Scots: Well my dear love, it is a nice place.

Spoony: That's nothing just wait until this thing flies with the birds in the sky & beyond! (Cut to an hour later.) Oh nothing better than a nice quiet picnic lunch before getting back to work.

Mary Queen Of Scots: Well, if things go the way they will, those bastards will overthrow me for my son and he's still in those...What did you call them?

Spoony: Diapers. But not if you have a man by your side to keep that from happening.

Mary Queen Of Scots: Are you saying what I think you are?

Spoony: Indeed I am. Will you give me your hand in marriage?

Mary Queen Of Scots: Oh my love! Indeed I will!

Spoony: AH HA! I KNEW IT! THE REAL MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS WOULD NEVER EVER DO SOMETHING THAT DESPERATE TO KEEP HER THRONE BY MARRYING JUST SOME ORDINARY OLD SCHMOE FROM HEAVENS KNOW THE FUCK HE CAME FROM! But then again The REAL Mary Queen Of Scots is not a genetic anomaly! (Pulls out a device that makes a synthesized horn that sounds like Ta-Da) Ta-Da!

Mary Queen Of Scots: What is that?

Spoony: It's a device that does a synthesized Ta-Da whenever an inorganic being around. It also downloads digital comics in 20 seconds, cook perfect popcorn without burning kernels and can heat an oven to perfect temperature so no food will burn and guess what according to this...YOU are in fact A Duplecon!

Mary Queen Of Scots: A Duplecon?

Spoony: Yeah, A Duplecon whose real form is a big blue creature with silver poisoned teeth and covered in porcupine quills, nice kisser as well. That's what I get for letting Insano off the leash one too many times. (A Snarling noise is heard as the two look and discover the Horse was the Duplecon.) Oh shit! It was the horse! (Laughs for five seconds) Look all that insulting wasn't meant with malice and I sure as hell wasn't serious when I said you weren't the real Mary Queen Of Scots. Look head back to your castle and I'll get it.

Mary Queen Of Scots: Be quick my love, we are to be wed! (Mary Queen Of Scots kisses Spoony)

Spoony: Oh well the time space continuum is now officially in the shitter! (Spoony walks around  until he sees a rabbit and the device makes a synthesized Ta Da sound) Okay, if you think you've got the stones to stand toe to toe with me prepare to meet your maker. I fought against my own kind. I took on a wizard and magical minions with only fucking Bird Seed. I've seen shit that you can not fathom and you're just a rabbit, aren't you? Well Uh General warning, next time your ass is Hasenpfeffer! (A loud female scream is heard and Spoony runs and discovers Twin Mary Queen Of Scots in front of him and the device makes a synthesized Ta Da sound.) Well this thing is fucking useless.(An explosion happens and a hole opens behind them)

Mary Queen Of Scots (In Duplicate Audio): The devil is that?

Spoony: It's a tear in the fabric of the Space Time Continuum! A portal where anything and everything can happen. Who knows what will come out from the other side! (An object comes out and it is a Fez!) For example....A Fez?! The fuck? (Cut to the group looking at artwork and shattered glass on the floor.)

Phelous: Well judging by the shatter pattern something didn't break in, something broke out.

Luke Mochrie: Well, I've seen these pieces in an art appreciation course. I still have the book. Guys check it out.

Malcolm Ray: Yeah, there should be a guy walking down that desert with a walking stick in his left hand.

Chris Colfer: And in this one is supposed to have a man presenting the bowl of fruit in this one. (An explosion happens and a hole opens behind them and everyone goes WHOA!)

Linkara: The hell is that?

TLOTA: C'MON, Haven't we got enough to do? Fine. Colfer, Naya, Lea you guys stay here with E-Rod, Uh... You two are?

Malcolm Ray: Malcolm

Tamara Chambers: Tamara

TLOTA: Right, Tamara, Malcom, E-Rod stay here we might need some help and they might need some help. Everyone else follow me! (James tosses the Fez into the hole!) GERONIMO! (James runs into the hole)

Nostalgia Critic: Sitting BULLLL! (Nostalgia Critic runs into the hole, Linkara screams as he runs into the hole, Angry Joe gleefully smiles as he screams and runs into the hole, and one by one they all run into the hole!)

TO BE CONTINUED